Chapter 1
"I'll come work with you at the hospital where ever we go next!"
"No."
"I'll start research on a cure for any disease, your choice!"
"No."
"I'll be Esme's slave for the next 1000 years and start work on the gazebo!"
"Edward..." Carlisle was showing the first signs of faltering. It was kind of ironic that to save Bella's soul, I was actioning off mine to Carlisle.
"Edward, I made Bella a promise. I'm turning her after graduation, it really is the best choice we have. What with the Volturi and Victoria, Bella's at too much risk staying human."
"She isn't in any danger." I said harshly. "I would never let anything happen to her."
"You can't stop the world, Edward. No matter how hard you try."
I growled and stomped from the room. Alice was sitting on the couch in the living room and I plopped down next to her.
"Any luck?" She asked, not looking up from her Cosmopolitan magazine.
"No." I said, though I knew she knew that already. She'd spent the last week telling me to stop trying to convince Carlisle to change his mind, it wasn't going to work. Bella was going to be a vampire before next fall.
"I don't know why you're even bothering with Carlisle." She said. "It's going to be you."
"Not if Bella doesn't marry me." I said sternly.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh please." She said. "You would never make Bella do anything she didn't want to."
"That's not true, I made her go to Calculus yesterday."
Alice laughed. "Skipping class is hardly the same thing as marriage, Edward."
"You really don't see her coming around?" I asked.
"No." She said with a sigh. "But I think she's probably trying to avoid that decision."
"Figures."
"Why don't you just do it already? You know she loves you, what will her marrying you prove anyway?"
"It won't prove anything." I admitted
"Then do it!" Alice said exasperatedly.
"It won't prove anything, but that doesn't mean that I don't want it. I want Bella to be my wife, Alice. I'm not trying to trick her or buy more time. I just want to know that Bella belongs to me. That she's changing for me. And it will be like that for eternity.
"Are you that thick?" Alice said with a laugh. "Of course she wants you! I guess you wouldn't know what she's like when she's not around you but she gets all... quiet and is always looking at the window like she's... waiting for you. The girl's head over heels Edward."
"Then she shouldn't mind becoming my wife." I said.
"You know that it's not being YOUR wife that's stopping her, she just doesn't want to be married."
"Which means you'll never get to plan our wedding." I said smiling. I knew the reaction this would have on Alice, even without being able to read her mind.
Her smug smile turned downward into a frown. Her eyebrows set in a hard line and her eyes grew slightly darker.
"You're right." She conceded. "Something must be done."
I laughed. "What then?" I asked. "You're a girl, what could I do to convince her?" I saw the thoughts racing through her mind. The romantic proposals, whisking her away and to some exotic place where a surprise wedding was waiting. Alice operated under the illusion that Bella would melt if she could only see the beautiful ceremony that she would create for her. She didn't know Bella the way I did. If I was going to get Bella to marry me, it would probably be out of the window of my Volvo parked next to a drive up chapel.
As Alice ran through her proposal plans, each more unlikely to convince Bella then the next, Emmett came into the room and sighed.
"I'm bored." He said sullenly, staring at the TV.
"Where's Rosalie?" I asked.
"Under her car, she says its making a weird humming sound but I think it's just because hasn't worked on it all week."
I nodded, glancing up at the clock.
4:45.
I wouldn't see Bella for another two hours and 15 minutes. One second ticked by.
"Wanna go outside?" Emmett asked turning to me and grinning.
I shook my head and Emmett collapsed further into his chair and grumbled.
"Esme's going hunting with Carlisle in about 45 minutes." Alice said. "I bet Jasper would go out with you."
"Excellent!" Emmett exclaimed, immediately bolting to his feet. He went up the stairs, imagining the fight that was about to take place. I tried not to laugh as I saw his fantasy of holding Jasper to the ground as he begged to be let free. I doubted Jasper would lose, let alone beg.
Alice threw her magazine aside and picked up a Vogue. I watched the clock tick 318 more seconds away.
"This would be perfect on Bella!" Alice exclaimed.
"What would?" I said. Her mind had shifted to something else. She was obviously trying to keep whatever designer dress she saw on the page from me. I couldn't imagine why she would hide an outfit from me, it made me curious.
"It's nothing." She said hastily shoving the magazine aside. She thought the name Perrine Bruyere three times as she pushed the magazine deep in to the cushions of the couch. I caught a glimpse of the cover. A blonde model with red lipstick and a white veil. It was a wedding issue.
I smiled slightly as I thought about Bella in the place of the model. Her face hidden behind a frail veil of lace. Her lips painted red and curled up into a wide smile, blushing that perfect color of pink as she walked down the isle towards me. My chest swelled, I wanted this future so badly.
The news started on the television. I looked up, hoping to distract myself and was actually surprised when I was. The newscaster was talking about several mysterious murders in Seattle. Alice shifted in the chair as she too focused on the descriptions of the homicides.
"Not another one." Alice thought.
We listened as they described the bodies found at the scene of the crime.
"Newborn?" She thought.
I nodded my head. It fit the description perfectly. It had to be, any more than one body had to mean a newborn. Only a careless vampire would leave evidence of a kill, and as we were very careful not to be careless under the watch of the Volturi, a body was rare find. And there were five now.
"But who created it?" She wondered. "The closest people around us are the Denali. You don't think?!" Her thoughts were suddenly panicked.
I shook my head.
"We should let Carlisle know..."
"The mail is here." Esme said, walking in the front door from the garden. I looked up and noticed an unusually large stack of envelopes in her arms. We normally didn't get much paper mail. Our bills were paid Online and none of our friends bothered with the postal service.
"College acceptance letters." Alice thought.
Ah! I'd been so busy helping Bella fill out her applications, I'd completely forgotten about my own. I got up with Alice and followed her into the kitchen.
Rosalie was standing at the sink, rubbing her hands with icy blue dish soap. The water that ran off of her rose petal white skin was black, though there was no sign of grease or oil anywhere else on her body. Not her skin or hair or even her clothes. She picked up a towel and wiped the water from her hands and watched Esme move with the handful of letters.
Alice bounced a little in front of the counter as Esme sorted our letters into piles by names. I looked down at my pile.
Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Berkley, Stanford, Syracuse, Princeton, Brown... I came to a plain white envelope that stood out in color and thickness from the Ivy League acceptance letters. The University of Alaska Southeast. I opened it.
Dear Mr. Edward Cullen,
Welcome! We are pleased that you have shown interest...
I didn't read the rest. I'd read the generic acceptance letter from colleges across the nation dozens of times.
"Haaarvard, Haaaarvard, I'm going to go to Haaaarvard!" Alice sang next to me.
I turned to look at her.
"I thought you were coming to Dartmouth with Bella and I?"
"Oh come on, Edward!" She whined. "I've never been to Harvard, it's not fair! Everyone in this house has gone except for Emmett and I and I think we should get our shot!"
My eyes narrowed. "Bella will never go to Harvard."
"You're sending money to Dartmouth!" She exclaimed. "I'm sure Harvard will take your money just as gladly as Dartmouth is."
"Yeah, considering the amount I'd have to give to get her there. Imagine it now, Harvard taking three students from the small logging town of Forks, Washington. And one of them graduated with a 3.2 grade average."
"So help her out with some calculus tests and bump her up to a 4.0." She suggested.
"I've tried." I admitted. "Every time we try to study together... We get distracted."
Alice rolled her eyes. "I guess I can go to Harvard after Bella's been changed. It'd be better to go when she's already gone through the change anyway."
My body tensed. Esme saw my reaction and tried to change the subject.
"I think Dartmouth is a wonderful idea!" She beamed. We have that new house that we've barely lived in and Carlisle got along with the other Doctors there so well!"
"I think I'd like to teach this time." Carlisle interjected, coming into the kitchen from the main room.
"You'd make a wonderful teacher." Esme said adoringly as Carlisle wrapped his arms around her waste. I looked at the clock over the oven.
5:30. I bobbed up and down slightly.
5:31.
"Well we're going out to hunt." Carlisle said, after reaching down and kissing Esme's mouth gently, "Would any of you like to come."
"Oh no. I think we'll want to stick around." Alice smiled.
"It's going to be a good fight." she thought. I smiled.
Jasper and Emmett came running into the kitchen, gently shoving each other. Esme cleared her throat and they both stopped dead in their tracks. Their guilty eyes fell on her as they waited for their berating.
"No fighting while were gone." She warned.
"Awh but mom! We were just gonna..." Emmett started.
Esme interrupted him. "I know exactly what you were going to do. My petunias are starting to bloom and I don't need them ruined."
"But we ha-"
Jasper elbowed Emmett in the ribs. "We understand." he said, in a calming voice. "I promise your petunias will be as perfect when you return as they are now."
Emmett's face fell and Esme kissed Jasper on the cheek. "We'll be back later tonight." They moved towards the sliding glass door, Carlisle shot one last warning look into the room, and they disappeared.
Emmett turned to Jasper, his face angry. "You said we..."
"Shh... They're not out of ear shot yet." He whispered almost inaudibly. The room went silent. We could all hear Carlisle and Esme's landing across the river and the sound of the branches of the trees whipping back as they flew through them.
When we couldn't hear them anymore, all the eyes in the room turned to me.
"I don't hear their thoughts." I said. "They've got to be at least five miles away."
"Perfect." Jasper said and ran out the back door. Emmett smiled and ran after him.
"You scared me there for a minute." Emmett said. "I thought you were gonna whimp out." Jasper laughed.
"I said we understood and her petunias would be perfect. I didn't say we wouldn't fight, we'll just avoid the flower beds."
Alice danced quickly across the lawn and perched herself on the boulder in the back. Rosalie floated after her. When I sat down, she looked at me.
"I bet you a whole week without Bella in the house after she's ungrounded that Emmett will win." she said. I rolled my eyes and Alice glared at her.
"Jasper is going to win." Alice thought. "It's going to be embarrassing."
I smiled. "Ok," I answered. "I'll take that. But if Jasper wins, the next time Bella and Alice have a sleepover you have to be there AND be nice to her."
She grimaced but looked at Emmett in the yard and then down at Alice. Alice was staring intently at the river, watching the waves roll over the shiny rocks on the bottom.
"Deal." She said. I saw the corners of Alice's mouth twitch.
We looked at our brothers.
"Alright." Jasper said. "Ready."
"Ready." Emmett smiled.
They moved very quickly. Emmett trudged at Jasper and threw his arms out to grab him but Jasper maneuvered through the easily and twirled around behind him. Emmett growled and dodged Jasper's counter attack.
They both wove in and out of each other's reach for several minutes. Rosalie was shouting to Emmett behind me.
I kept checking my watch as I watched them avoid each others attacks.
5:50
5:52
5:58
6:03
I growled. Time went so slowly whenever I was waiting to see Bella. Charlie was firm on his Edward-ban while he wasn't home. I was granted visitation hours from 7 to 9:30, but I couldn't step in the house one minute before they started.
It didn't really matter. Usually I would drive my car home after I left her each night and then run back and sneak through her window.
Though I hated that she was grounded, I couldn't disagree with the reason. While I'd been on my self-loathing journey across the United States, Bella had been back in Forks with her friend Jacob Black. He'd taught her to ride... motorcycles. I cringed at that word. The thought of Bella speeding along the highway on something so dangerous infuriated me.
It was Jacob's fault she was grounded. He had told Charlie about Bella's escapades in an attempt to get her in trouble so she couldn't see me anymore. It's worked, partially. And Charlie wasn't giving up his resolve either.
Though he'd betrayed her, it hurt Bella very much that Jacob had stopped talking to her. She tried to hide it from me because of the whole "mortal enemy" thing, but I saw it on her face every time some one said his name or a motorcycle flew past her house. I hated to admit it, but I was glad he wouldn't see her. Despite her several assurances, I didn't trust the dog. He was a danger to her, and she shouldn't see him.
I looked down at my watch again.
6:23
I growled again. I couldn't leave until 6:47. If I conformed to a pitiful 65 miles an hour, something I hated, and I left my house at 13 till I'd reach Bella's house at exactly 7 O'clock. I tried leaving later and going at my normal speed but the waiting was worse than the drive. At least at 65, I was going to her.
6:30.
I looked up at the fight. Emmett had gotten a hold of Jaspers shirt and it was hanging in shreds from his body. Alice and Rosalie were both on their feet cheering them on.
They connected, both holding each other by the arms. Emmett had the upper hand when they were in contact. He had strength, Jasper had skill.
Emmett slammed Jasper into the ground and it shook the windows of the house a little. Jasper crawled out of the groove in the grass and lunged. He twisted around to his back but Emmett got a hold of his wrists and threw him again.
Jasper landed on his feet and sprung back like a gymnast. Emmett dodged out of the way and rounded on him for a second attack. They approached each other and growled. Jasper feinted to the left and Emmett bought it.
"Oh no." Alice said, going completely still next to me. Rosalie and I both looked at her and I saw the vision she'd just had and turned to watch Emmett and Jasper in horror.
Emmett shifted his weight to his right foot and spun around behind Jasper. He lunged for his back but Jasper turned in time and planted a kick to Emmett's stomach, David Beckham style. It would have been amazing if Emmett didn't go flying uncontrollably through the air. He sailed 30 feet towards the house and Rosalie cringed, seeing his path for the glass wall.
I knew better. He lost momentum 5 feet before he reached the wall, and fell, hard, right into Esme's flower bed.
Dirt flew 20 feet into the air as he buried into the soft soil. Everyone froze. After what seemed like 10 minutes Alice flew to the garden and yanked Emmett out of the way.
Esme's prize petunias were mulch.
"You destroyed them." She said disbelievingly at Emmett.
"It wasn't my fault, Jasper launched me." That started the great who ruined the flower bed argument. Everyone started screaming at each other. I sat back on my rock and watched my brothers and sister. It was hilarious. Alice was frantically trying to save any flowers left and Jasper was screaming in Emmett's face while Rosalie was trying to pull them apart.
I laughed. They all turned to me in disbelief.
"Oh come on guys." I said between laughs. "The one thing that could've gone wrong."
Alice stood up. "I guess Bella's rubbing off on us." She smiled.
Everyone laughed.
6:46.
"Oh!" I said. "I gotta go. Have fun explaining this to Esme."
They glared at me, but I hardly noticed as I flew into the kitchen and grabbed the rest of Bella's applications. I mixed the Dartmouth one amongst them, foolishly trying to hide it. I grabbed my keys and flew out to my car.
The trees flew past me entirely to slow. I grew impatient as my windshield wipers wiped away the slow drizzle that had begun to fall. The rain seemed to be keeping time with the slow pace. Finally, I passed the "Welcome to Forks" sign.
There were a lot of people out in the streets, something unusual for the small town. I was grateful for whatever it was that had them out. Their presence forced me to drive slowly.
When I finally turned onto Bella's street, I hit the accelerator. I came to a stop in front of her yard and began breathing excitedly. Being close to her was like being able to breathe after being held under water too long, or so I imagined.
I stepped out of the car and moved quickly to the front door. I could hear Charlie and Bella inside.
"So.." Charlie hesitated.
"So what?" The most beautiful voice in the world answered.
"Nothing. I was just.." I could hear him trying to find the words in his head. "Just wondering what... Edward's plans are for next year?"
"Oh."
"Well."
I knocked on the door before Bella could answer. Both because I was still hoping to convince her of Dartmouth and because I didn't want Charlie hanging over us all night. I could handle this situation much better than Bella could.
There was the sound of chairs scraping against the floor as Bella ran to the door.
"Coming!" she called.
"Go away." Charlie mumbled behind her. I smiled.
The door flew open and she was there.
"Hey." she said and smiled. I lifted our entwined fingers and touched her face, feeling the warmth of her skin against the cool of the back of my hand.
"How was your afternoon?" I said gently.
"Slow." she replied.
"For me as well." I said a smile slightly pulling at my lips. The feeling of being around her was indescribable, the warmth of her skin, the sweetness of her scent, the delicious thudding of her heart. I lifted her wrist to my face and breathed deeply, letting the glorious smell of her fill my whole body. Every time I was around her, there was only the two of us, nothing else existed in the world.
That is until the other souls of the world insisted on making their presence known.
"Only two hours. Only two hours." Charlie chanted to himself as he shuffled into the living room. He spotted us standing in the doorway and stamped his feet.
"Slam the door, Bella. Shut it right in his face!"
I moved Bella's hand from my face, still clutching her fingers in mine and looked up at her father.
"Good Evening, Charlie." I said pleasantly.
Charlie crossed his arms over his chest and grunted. It was the most hospitality he could muster, though he was only even trying for Bella's sake.
"No good kid. Why can't he just leave already? Wait? Did Bella tell me where he was going to college? I hope Esme keeps him in state, Washington State maybe or UW.
I fought a smile and looked down at Bella again. "I brought another set of applications." I said brightly, showing her the manila envelope. She looked down at the stamps I had curled around my littlest finger and groaned. My lips curled up as I read the disbelief on her face as she stared at the applications in my hand. We'd already filled out dozens, though the only one that really mattered was in my hand right now.
There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions." I said reassuringly.
Her eyes narrowed at the word exceptions as she realized what I meant, I laughed. I couldn't understand Bella's aversion to gifts. If I could only convince her to marry me, then everything I had would also be hers including tuition money.
"Shall we?" I asked as I nudged her towards the kitchen.
"She could fill them out by herself." Charlie's thoughts grumbled. "Though I have to admit, the kid does show a lot of devotion to getting Bella a college education." He quickly shook his head to rid his mind of the positive thought he had about me and followed us into the kitchen.
I sat in a chair at the kitchen table and began pulling the forms out of the envelope while Bella cleared the table of the dinner she and Charlie had been enjoying before I arrived. I noticed the worn copy of Wuthering Heights when she lifted it from the table and raised an eyebrow. I meant to comment on her reading the same novel again but Charlie interrupted me.
"Speaking of college applications, Edward," Charlie began... "Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?"
I smiled at Charlie, glad I was the one who would finish his and Bella's previous conversation.
"Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I"m still wighting my options." He wasn't convinced, he pressed on.
"Where have you been accepted?"
"Syracuse... Harvard... Dartmouth... and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today." I turned and winked at Bella. She giggled into her hand.
"Harvard? Dartmouth?" Though he hated me the awe in his voice was clear. "Well that's pretty... that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska... you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to..."
"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do." I interrupted.
"Like leave my daughter to die in the middle of the forest and drown in her own misery for six months while you're off gallivanting around the beach in California."
My eyes tightened by Bella distracted my from Charlie's accusations.
"Guess what, Edward?" she asked in a baiting voice.
"What, Bella?" I asked, echoing the false high pitch in her voice.
"I just got MY acceptance to the University of Alaska!"
"Congratulations!" I said so that Charlie couldn't detect the falseness of my tone. "What a coincidence."
Charlie's eyes narrowed as he look between us.
"Fine." He muttered darkly. "I'm going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty." He felt the need to remind us of my visiting hours every night, it was his usual note of departure.
"Er, Dad?" Bella said. "Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom..?"
He sighed. "Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."
My head shot up. "Bella's no longer grounded?" I was shocked, very rarely was I ever surprised by something.
"Conditionally." Charlie spat at me. "What's it to you?"
Everything.
"It's just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights."
Or rather, I would love to whisk Bella off to our meadow and spend hours staring at her in the sunlight.
"NO!" Charlie growled, his face flushing purple. I could see the same headlines I saw on the news that afternoon with Alice rush through his mind in newspaper print. I looked down to the table and saw the lead story staring up at me.
"Dad!" Bella exclaimed. "What's with you?"
"I don't want you going to Seattle right now." Charlie hissed through clenched teeth.
"Huh?" she said.
"I told you about that story in the paper-- there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"
Bella rolled her eyes and continued with a laugh in her voice. A laugh that made me slightly angry. "Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle--"
I didn't want to hear anymore. "No that's fine, Charlie." I interrupted. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I would have Bella in Seattle either. Of course not."
She looked at me unbelievingly as I lifted the newspaper from the table and began to scan the lead story. Her eyes flickered to Charlie and then widened as if she had found a hidden meaning in my words. There was none, I wouldn't let Bella near Seattle, not until my family had the newborn situation under control.
"Fine." Charlie said, accepting Portland as an acceptable shopping destination, though probably only because I had suggested it would be Alice to go with her and not myself. He turned and hurried off to the TV just as the Wizards took the ball in the tip off.
"What--" Bella began.
"Hold on." I warned. Though he was seated comfortably in his recliner, Charlie was still hanging on our every word. I pushed a stack of papers towards her.
"I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions." I said loud enough for Charlie to catch every word.
She sighed and picked up a pen and filled out the repetitive information. I smiled. She hadn't noticed the Dartmouth letterhead. Maybe she would just fill out the application and I could mail it off without her realizing she'd applied to Ivy League. Once she got her acceptance letter, surely she wouldn't say no. No, she'd still refuse, but Charlie wouldn't. It was strange to think of him as an ally in his current frame of mind, but he would be.
I looked down at the headline again and then stared out the window as I thought about the meaning behind it. Five murders in thirteen days. The newborn must've been left alone, and unsupervised. This was very sloppy work, it wouldn't be long before the Volturi got wind of it, and if they came to Seattle, what would stop them from coming to Forks to check up on my promise. I hadn't expected so little time before...
Bella snorted and I heard papers shuffling. I looked down and saw her shoving the Dartmouth application out of the way. Damn.
"Bella?" I asked, trying to feign innocence.
"Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?
I picked up the application she had pushed aside and smoothed it out in front of her again. "I think you'd like New Hampshire. There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife." I smiled the half smile that make her pulse race.
Her mouth tightened as she sucked in a sharp, fast, stubborn breath of air through her nose.
"I'll let you pay me back if that makes you happy." I lied. "If you want, I can charge you interest." This was a lie too. The only think I'd let her pay me back in, was years.
"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh! Why are we having this discussion again?"
"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply."
A muscle in her jaw flexed. "You know what? I don't think I will." She said smartly.
Her hand moved towards the application. I sighed and reached out for it, tucking it safely in my jacket pocket before her hand had reached the table, or her eyes had noticed my movement. She shook her head a little and the disappearance of the form and then glared at me when she'd realized what I'd done.
"What are you doing?" She demanded.
I looked directly into her eyes. "I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays."
She glared again. "You're going way overboard with this, you know." Her voice was lower so that Charlie wouldn't hear, not that there was any need. Charlie was so engrossed in his game Bella and I could leave the house, steal his car and knock over a convenient store and he wouldn't notice as long as we were back before the game was over.
"I really don't need to apply anywhere else." She continued. "I've already been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."
I was so tired of this argument. The eagerness for damnation, everything inside me tightened when I imagined her, hard and cold. When I saw her eyes, bright crimson instead of their normal beautiful chocolate brown. I'd lose it. Her eyes, her warmth, her smell... it hurt to even think about.
"Bella..." I began, hoping to convince her.
"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people.
I swallowed the venom that was welling in my mouth. Her stubbornness was making me angry. "I thought the timing was still undecided." I said as softly as I could manage. "You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had."
"I'll get to those afterward." She said, brushing my concerns aside.
"They won't be human experiences afterward." I reminded her. "You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."
She sighed. "You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with."
"There's no danger yet." I said quickly.
Her eyes narrowed. Sure, I knew what here concerns were, Victoria... the Volturi, but I had plans to deal with these concerns. Alice was watching every move both of them made and Bella couldn't be found by the Volturi with her mental block.
I watched her eyes begin to dart back and forth and her face morph from determination to panic. "Bella?" I asked quickly, my face echoing hers. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you, you can take all the time you need." This was more proof that I already didn't need. She wasn't ready.
" I want to hurry." She whispered and smiled. "I want to be a monster too."
My face became as hard as stone and my jaw snapped together. "You have no idea what you're saying." I said through my teeth as I flung the paper at her.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Monsters are not a joke, Bella."
She stared down at the paper, her eyes widening with fear. "A... a vampire is doing this?"
I smiled, but there was no humor behind it. "You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news." I said coldly. "It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle, bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."
She looked away from my hard eyes and re read the first sentences of the paper. I continued.
"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there-- the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed of corpses, the lack of other evidence... Yes someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte... Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."
She shivered and looked away from the paper. "It wont be the same for me." She whispered. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."
I snorted. "Penguins, lovely."
She laughed and shoved the paper off the table trying to inconspicuous. "Alaska then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau, somewhere with grizzlies galore."
"Better." I smiled. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large."
Her face immediately change from humor to horror as her mouth dropped and a short gust of breath escaped her lips.
"What's wrong?" I asked, panicked. But before I finished the question, I realized what had upset her. Wolves... Jacob. My body hardened, I hated being reminded of how much she thought of him.
"Oh.." I continued. "Never mind the wolves then. If the idea is offensive to you."
"He was my best friend, Edward... Of course it offends me."
"Please forgive my thoughtlessness." I said stiffly. "I shouldn't have suggested that."
"Don't worry about it." She said, clenching her hands into fists.
The silence was like a thick mass between us and she fumed over my suggestion and I raged over her dependence on Jacob. I wanted to kill him. I wanted the man, no dog, that Bella thought of probably as much as she thought of me, okay, almost as much as she thought of me to die. I wanted him to suffer, I wanted to see him in pain that I knew was caused by my grip. I would keep him away from her if it was the last thing I did. He was dangerous, and he would NEVER hurt my Bella.
Eventually, the silence became as uncomfortable for me as seeing the distress on her face and I broke.
"Sorry..." I said. "Really."
"I know. I know it's not the same think. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that.. well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over."
I stiffened even more as a weight settled in over me. The rage began to burn in me like a white hot flame and my mouth filled with venom. I could feel the strength building in my muscles as every fiber of my being desired to run to La Push and destroy the beast that was through some joke my competition.
And yet through all of the anger, there was a sadness too, an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that echoed the pain I'd been consumed by in the previous months when I'd thought I'd lost her forever.
She continued, though her tone changed from an explanation to pleading. "Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and... it's my fault."
"You've done nothing wrong, Bella." I said, annunciating each word clearly as I tried to calm my anger.
She breathed and then continued. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway---"
I sat up straighter and stared at her hard. "You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want to start a war?"
"Of course not!"
"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I relaxed back into my chair and looked around the kitchen, my eyes resting on the copy of Wuthering Heights Bella had moved from the table earlier.
"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out, you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading Wuthering Heights again. Don't you know it by heart yet?"
"Not all of us have photographic memories." She said curtly.
"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."
"You have some serious issues with classics." She said sharply.
"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity." I smiled, glad I had successfully moved on from the Jacob subject.
"Honestly though, why do you read it over and over? What is it that appeals to you?"
She seemed to relax a little as the conversation moved forward, completely erasing the tension in my muscles.
"I'm not sure." She said. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart-- not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death in the end."
"It was true, and a good point, but it didn't sway my opinion. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality."
"I think that may be the point," She continued. "Their love is their only redeeming quality."
"I hope you have better sense than that-- to fall in love with someone so... malignant."
She smiled. "It's a bit to late for em to worry about who I fall in love with. But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."
I laughed. "I'm glad you think so."
"Well," She said, "I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."
"I'll be on my guard." I promised.
She sighed so I reached out and brushed my fingers across her feather soft cheek. Her warm hand rested on mine and she closed her eyes.
"I need to see Jacob."
My shoulders dropped and my eyes fell shut as I tried to find more patience in me. "No."
"It's truly not dangerous at all." She pleaded, "I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."
Her voice faltered and I heard her heartbeat accelerate. She was lying.
"Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes they get killed."
When she said nothing, I filled my chest with air and stared at her triumphantly, waiting for her to agree with me.
"You don't know them." She said finally.
I breathed out, nearly groaning. "I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."
"The last time?"
"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago... We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We out numbered them, but the wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible and eventually, we made the truce.
We thought the line had died out with Ephraim. That the genetic quirk which allowed the transmutation had been lost... Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands."
She stared at me incredulously. "But I didn't bring them back... Don't you know?"
"Know what?"
"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."
I stared at her. We'd never considered that there could be an outside trigger for the gene. We'd always assumed it was a mutation in the DNA. Scientifically, it was impossible for there to be any correlation between the presence of vampires and the resurfacing of a dead gene in the Quileute tribe.
"Is that what they think?" I asked, glaring.
"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"
It was true. The timing was a little to coincidental. And it may not be scientific for an out side trigger to cause a mutating gene but really, was it scientific for such a gene to exist in the first place. There was no other creature on earth that could morph into a completely different species and back at will. But the facts didn't stand up, it was entirely too improbable.
I relaxed. "Carlisle will be interested in that theory." I said.
"Theory." She scoffed.
I stared out the window considering the likely hood of Bella's theory, but I could come to any logical conclusion that would prove her theory. I sighed and watched the rain fall on the window, it was dark probably almost time for me to leave. I'd get wet on the run over here, not that I minded. But Bella would.
I turned back to her, not willing to waste anymore of out time on Jacob Black.
"Interesting, but not exactly relevant." I said. "The situation remains the same."
She sighed, sinking deep into thought. After a moments silence, she spoke again. "Please just listen to me for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. I can't not try to help him-- I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time... Well, he was there for me when I was.. not so human myself. You don't know what it was like..."
It was all I needed to hear. I could already see the ghost of pain creeping across her face as she began to curl in on herself.
I moved quickly to her side and wrapped her close to my chest. It was still difficult to contain the hatred I felt for Jacob that was running through me, but I couldn't see this look on Bella's face. I closed my eyes and snapped my jaw shut as I felt her words crush me over and over. But I deserved this. I had caused my Bella to live through agony for months and Jacob had been the one to put her back together again. Though I could barely bare the pain of her words, I listened.
"If Jacob hadn't helped me... I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."
"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you." I said when she had finished. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."
She placed her warm hands on each of my cheeks, waiting for me to open my eyes. I sighed and obliged.
"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."
"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk you life to comfort a dog."
Bella flinched at my words, but I couldn't take them back. My hatred for the animal was real.
"I don't know how to phrase this properly." I admitted. "It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going ot tolerate anything dangerous."
"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine." She pleaded.
My lips pressed together as I fought back the pain. "Please, Bella..."
She stared deeply into my eyes. "Please what?"
"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."
"I'll work on it." She muttered.
"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" I said as I wrapped her closer to my chest.
She kissed the crevasse of my neck. "I know how much I love you."
"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."
I felt a movement on my chest that felt like her rolling her eyes. "Impossible."
I reached down and pressed my lips to her fragrant hair. "No werewolves." I said firmly.
"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob." I breathed another deep breath of frustration.
"Then I'll have to stop you."
"We'll see about that. He's still my friend." I didn't like the determination in her voice. It would be a test of her resolve against mine.
I reached down and kissed the top of her head again just as the final buzzer on the game in the living room sounded. Heavy footsteps echoed in the hall and Charlie stood in the doorway, arms folded, as the clocked ticked three minutes past 10:30.
