Chapter 2: Quality Time with the Fords/ Worst Mother Ever
"I can't believe you left him outside by himself," Sawyer said, following Kate through the doorway of their hut.
Most everyone on the island had huts now rather then tents. They were roomier and they contributed to a feeling of foundation their previous habitats lacked. Sawyer built their new living spaces with a nursery in mind, and there was a small corner designated for their tyke.
He tore out some photos from a couple of magazines he had laying around, fully intent on providing his son with a perfectly decked-out nursery. Kate, however, made him take down the Playboy spreads as soon as she saw them up. The kid would have to be happy with a car ad on his wall instead.
"He's big enough to be out on his own," Kate responded trying to sooth her now crying baby.
"Moon Unit's barely one!"
"Stop calling him Moon Unit, you're getting him upset."
"Oh yeah, I'm the reason he's crying. It has nothing to do with his wet diaper."
Kate eyed Sawyer skeptically and then did the same with her son, holding him up to get a better look at him. She patted his bottom lightly and then, admittedly defeated, fixed Sawyer with a disparaging look.
"So he's a little wet. I would've figured that out eventually."
The fact that Sawyer had to tell Kate- who was holding the baby- that their son was wet was more or less indicative of what kind of mother she was. Not to say she was a bad mother, it was just that she lacked a certain motherly instinct that Sawyer expected all mothers to innately have. To date, Kate's most motherly of instincts was to protect her son from jellyfish (she didn't want Hurley peeing all over him). That, and tree bullets.
"Want me to change him?" Sawyer offered. He hoped she'd say yes, if only because Kate's idea of changing diapers was of a more exhausting nature than Sawyer's. Also, it usually resulted in him having to do it over.
"Nope. Got it."
She sat the baby down on a precariously stacked pile of luggage and went to fetch him a new diaper. Sawyer followed her footsteps in stride and picked up the baby a second before the pile of bags toppled over.
Kate came back from the corner nursery with a new clean cloth and took the boy off Sawyer's hands, oblivious to the peril she'd just put him in.
Sawyer could only stand back, fold his arms over his chest and hope she got it right this time.
Kate lay the baby down on a blanket and started wrapping the long cloth around him. Although she started very carefully, determined to tie the two required knots, she could already count eight knots and was working on the ninth one. Pretty soon there was more diaper then there was baby as she'd gathered together every possible fabric in her reach until she created the ultimate bundle of a diaper. It was only when she felt a faint tugging on her pant leg that she realized the baby wasn't in the diaper at all and had instead crawled his way around her alongside Sawyer as she fumbled with the diaper.
"Whoops," she whispered, scooping the baby up and setting him down before her to try again. She got the diaper tangled in his arms, stomach and shoulders until finally tying two ends on either side of his waist. She stood back and smiled down at what she had accomplished, a little more breathless and flustered then how she had started.
"All done."
Sawyer knelt down beside the boy and examined him closely. He hooked his hands under the baby's arms and picked him up, holding him at arms length. Just as Sawyer expected it would, the cloth diaper swiftly slipped off the boy's bottom without so much as a breeze to propel it.
Kate frowned. "He's skinny," she surmised.
Sawyer nodded, not having the heart to tell her otherwise.
It was just as well for Sawyer anyway, since he, strangely enough, enjoyed changing diapers. Sun had once told him that baby girls usually stare right out you when you changed them as opposed to baby boys whose eyes wander all over the room. So as Sawyer knelt down in front of his son, he happily welcomed the challenge of getting his attention by making funny faces or speaking the universal baby language of goo-goo, ga-ga. He opened his eyes wide and filled his cheeks with air and stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes. He did all this only when he was certain there was no one around but the baby and Kate. He had a certain reputation to uphold in public.
As Sawyer carefully wrapped the diaper around his son, he took a break from the face-making to watch Kate out of the corner of his eye. She was folding clothes near by and he figured it was as good a time as any to ask her something that was on his mind for a while now..
"Now, you aint seriously thinking of entering Moon Unit in this Baby Olympics thing, are you?"
Kate's head spun around and her eyes met Sawyer's eyes with a seriously serious look. "Of course I am. And stop calling him Moon Unit. We don't want the other kids making fun of him."
"Pretty sure namin' him 'Lesley' already took care of that, Sugar Pop."
"He has to enter," Kate continued, bringing the baby olympics topic back with a fierce determination. "He could easily beat any one of Jack's kids."
"Well that goes without saying, but what would they compete at? Who could roll the coconut across the finish line fastest?"
Kate's eyes widened in thought. "You think we should start training him for that?" she asked.
"Would you listen to yourself! It's the baby olympics."
"I know!" Kate responded, excited.
He might have tried to stress how stupid it seemed but she only heard the importance of it.
Sawyer sighed, ready to give up on the whole argument.
"I just don't think fillin' his head up with competition is very healthy, that's all."
"Oh, grow a pair, Sawyer! Lesley will not grow up a sissy!"
As Sawyer tried to figure out if Sissy was his son's new name, he realized that he was dealing with Kate, the most competitive girl he'd ever known. It was probably in his best interest to drop the topic until they had the opportunity to discuss it with a professional. Which reminded him, it was almost time to head over to Libby's weekly parenting group therapy session.
Before Sawyer and Kate could meet up with the rest of the island parents at the therapy session, they had to drop off their son at the babysitter's. The position was currently being held by Charlie. Granted, a drug addict (and worse, failed musician!) Wasn't the best candidate for the job but his alternatives were looking too good either. Hurley used to be the designated babysitter until one day a child under his care turned up missing. It was only after hours of searching for him that they'd found him in Hurley's ass crack.
Anyway, Charlie absolutely loved babysitting. Or as he preferred to call it, band practice. More appropriately, secret band practice. He was planning the biggest, most rockin' concert the island had ever seen. The only concert it had ever seen, really, but who was counting? He was ready to start Driveshaft 2's rehearsals as soon as his drummer showed up.
"Did you feed him?" Sawyer asked Kate, as they approached Charlie's hut.
"Yep. Earlier," she said.
"You know, lots of the other kids are starting to eat solid foods now."
"He likes milk too much. It's the only thing he'll have."
"Well, I know it's the only thing he'll have, it's the only thing you're offering him."
Kate shrugged and tapped on Charlie's door.
Sawyer balanced his son on his other arm and picked up slightly to look him in the eye. "You're a breast man, huh? Just like your old man," he said, winking.
Charlie popped his head through the door at that moment. "My drummer's here!"
Kate and Sawyer looked at suspiciously and Charlie realized he'd slipped up. "I mean, Billy Bob!"
"It's actually Moon Unit today," Sawyer corrected.
"Lesley," Kate said.
"Right," Charlie said slowly, taking the baby out of Sawyer's hands. "We'll just call him Toehead," and then with a faraway look in his eyes he continued, saying, "cuz his head... it's shaped like a toe."
Sawyer and Kate stared at Charlie for a moment. Maybe they were thinking that leaving their son in his care wasn't the best idea. But oh well, they had to get going.
"Have fun with Charlie," Kate whispered in Lesley's ear, kissing him on the top of the head. Sawyer ruffled his hand through Moon Unit's hair.
They headed down the beach where the therapy session was about to begin.
