AN: Need advice on this chap, feels flimsy. I do believe even Neal couldn't keep up the lies at this point, and would be fully prepared to accept the consequences of his actions so long as El makes it home safely. Same with Mozzie. He might claim he's able to leave everyone behind without a second thought but it's been made quite clear that he has a massive soft spot for El, perhaps even loves her in a platonic (or who knows maybe romantic) sense. I believe he would risk jail time or his life to save her but I also believe he's smart enough never to have to put himself in that position and will come back to devise some master plan with Neal to bring down Keller and get El back.

That being said, I denno if this chap really has the smarts the series would to bring that whole idea about. Also, sorry if the characters are too...weepy. All my fics keep coming out that way, don't know why. Constructive criticisms would be appreciated.

They'd found her at work. Two agents from the Bureau had cornered Sarah in her office to ask her questions regarding Elizabeth Burke's abduction. That startling piece of information was enough to make Sarah buckle at the knees and fumble for her desk chair to sit. To hear that Neal Caffery was a person of interest in circumstances directly related to the case nearly made her pass out.

By some miracle she wasn't forced to choose between lying to protect Neal or telling the truth to protect herself. As it happened, everything she knew Neal had already made them privy to. She never thought she'd be grateful that he had kept her in the dark with his plans to run off with the treasure.

She was currently standing outside Neal's apartment, debating knocking. With June's help she'd managed to convince two other agents standing guard at the estate to let her inside and upstairs to talk to him.

She hadn't been able to get him out of her mind. No matter what part he had played in El's abduction she knew Neal had not asked for any of this to happen. He would be torturing himself with self-loathing and that, combined with the fact that Neal could do nothing to help, must be killing him. Despite how things had ended last they'd seen each other, Sarah had to make sure he was all right. While she couldn't with good conscience exempt him from all fault for the situation, she also couldn't stand the idea of him being alone through this. This thought clinched it for her and she knocked on his door.

It took him time to answer; a bad sign. When he did, Sarah had to resist showing shock at his appearance. He looked like hell.

He wasn't unkempt or bedraggled in any obvious way. It was little things that only those who knew him well would notice. Being a self-assured individual, he'd always held his head high in an almost playfully challenging manner. Now it was as if to him it weighed a thousand pounds atop his body. It was low and his shoulders appeared strained with the effort of carrying it. There was no confident, dazzling smile across his face. His mouth was a thin, tight line, corners turned down. And his eyes...she'd always loved his eyes. They were usually so bright, alive and aware. They could melt defences with a single charming glance. Now, though, they were red, dull and empty.

Several seconds passed before he grasped exactly who it was standing there.

"Sarah."

His throat sounded irritated. He must've been crying.

"Oh, Neal..."

Right away she regretted her reaction. Sarah could tell her compassion was adding insult to injury for him when he was probably overwhelmed by guilt. His entire person slumped down further still.

"I guess you've heard...everything," he said, directing his statement to the floor. He didn't make any gesture to invite her in, just left the door open as he went and sat on the couch where Sarah suspected he'd been all evening. He heaved a great sigh and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

Sarah warily stepped inside after him, following to gently sit beside him. She wasn't sure what to say so she quietly waited for him to start.

"I fucked up," he said, shrugging weakly.

"Tell me," Sarah urged, wanting to know his side.

With effort, he shifted to face her, his expression stricken.

"I would never have let this happen. If I'd had any idea Keller would do this I would've stopped him, I would've done anything..."

He was becoming distressed so Sarah took his hand on the couch between them and squeezed it. He didn't withdraw it, perhaps didn't even notice as he rubbed his temple fretfully with his free hand and continued.

"If I'd just told Moz the truth from the start..."

This gave her pause. She eyed him curiously.

"What do you mean?"

She could tell he wished he hadn't said anything. She couldn't help but feel a touch insulted that he would suddenly decide to shut down when she was only trying to hear him out.

"This isn't an interrogation Neal, or a lecture. I just wanted to give you a chance to talk."

Neal had the decency to look shame-faced at having questioned her motives, softening Sarah's defensiveness. She gave his hand another encouraging squeeze and this time he returned it.

"Okay...Moz, he...he took the treasure for the both of us and from the minute he brought me into the plan I felt...off. It took me a while to get that I wasn't prepared to just up and leave my life as Neal Caffery."

"So you stayed..."

"And I lied to Moz. One of the few times I have since I've known him. There was something he needed my help to get for the plan to work and I found it. I had it in my hand when I told Moz over the phone that it wasn't there. He was...less than impressed when he found out, more so when I said I wasn't going with him."

"Where is he now," she asked, a frightening thought having occurred to her. "He hasn't disappeared with the treasure has he?"

If he had, trying to track him down could delay already time sensitive conditions. Neal managed a small smile, shaking his head.

"Soon as I knew what Keller had done I got word to Moz. Luckily he didn't ignore me. He's willing to bury the hatchet for this and already has an idea in the works. He couldn't walk away with El in trouble. Honestly, I think he'd do anything for her. Hell, he might even give up his biggest score to...", the fondness in his voice died as he finished, "...get her back."

His jaw clenched and he gripped Sarah's hand tighter.

"And now Keller thinks I have access to the treasure and I know he'll do whatever he has to to get his hands on it. El is in danger because I brought this into their lives. Peter will never forgive me, Moz hates me, I've effectively destroyed any relationship you and I had..."

"Slow down, Neal. I'm here, aren't I?"

She moved closer to him on the couch. He gratefully leaned his shoulder against hers.

"Is it awful that I'm glad you stayed," she admitted softly.

"No," he assured her.

He brought their joined hands to rest on his lap, studying them intently.

"I just couldn't do it, Sarah," he admitted. "I wasn't ready to leave all of this – Peter, the Bureau, June...", he turned his head slightly in her direction without lifting it, "...you."

He began stroking her palm with his thumb. He was emotionally spent and speech was becoming difficult.

"And I wanted to tell you. So badly. I meant it when I said I was never going to say goodbye to you because I'd already decided by then I wasn't going anywhere. Every time I pictured telling you I was leaving, it seemed impossible. Scared the hell out of me, actually. I just panicked...I..."

He didn't bother hiding his tears.

"...I love this, the life I've made here. I love all of this! I love..."

He broke off, biting his bottom lip before going on.

"But Mozzie is my family. I didn't know what to do!"

He finally met Sarah's gaze, searching for answers or absolution, she wasn't sure which. She had neither to offer. When he didn't find what he sought, his face crumbled and he sagged forward.

"I'm really sorry." He said with a sob. "I'm sorry."

Sarah didn't think twice about pulling him into her arms, resting her cheek on his head in an act of comfort. His apology wasn't to her alone but all the same she told him what he needed to hear.

"I know."