As tired as I was, I couldn't sit still for longer then a few minutes but I couldn't run anymore so I walked, hoping I'd come across a town soon. The still woods offered no distraction from my thoughts so I had no distraction from one nagging thought which was that I knew I should have killed him while he was paralyzed and I had weapons, it would've been fast, a quick slice across the throat or a snap of his neck but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My steps slowed, it wasn't long before I began to wonder why I couldn't kill him, after all he'd killed many people. It had to go past gratitude, after all he had held me prisoner for months so I should've been angry with him, not regretful that I'd left him defenseless and laying on a couch.
I stopped, how could I even think that? I should be relieved that'd I'd escaped but I didn't feel that way, I couldn't really decide how I felt. I made myself walk again, one foot in front of the other, my thoughts went around the same things for the hours that I walked. I eventually found myself in a very small town, it had only a few buildings in the town center and a very crummy inn but it was my only choice so I took it. The old man behind the desk was sympathetic to my situation and allowed me to stay one night without pay, I smiled tiredly at him and said I could find a way to pay him in the morning if he liked, he just smiled at me and said it wouldn't do him any harm to allow one lady a free night.
Once I was inside the room and locked the door and went instantly to the window, to try and figure out where I was. The window looked out the side of the inn, showing a few buildings that looked old and beyond those, more tree's. I couldn't see a path into the woods but I was sure there had to be a road to somewhere, not that I could take it because if he wanted to take revenge on me I was sure that would be the first place he'd look. I just wanted to find out where I was and in which direction Konoha was in or even a larger city that would surely have Leaf ninja looking for me.
I feel asleep on the small bed a few minutes later and I slept fitfully for the first time in six weeks. I woke, still tired, a little after sunrise, I grabbed my bag and headed back towards the front desk, intent on finding my way to the largest village around. Some of my chakra had return, the block he'd put on it must have weaken and I didn't stop to wonder why it had, I was just grateful I had some of my chakra back, chakra I could use to run. I rang the little bell that was sitting on the desk and waited for the old man to come and greet me.
A few minutes later he showed up, he smiled and asked how I had slept, I lied and said I had slept wonderfully, he had given me a free room for the night and he didn't need to hear my troubles. "Are you sure there is no way I could repay you?" I asked, smiling brightly at him.
"No, no, I have plenty of free rooms. We only get the occasional visitor around here, is there anything else I could help you with?" He had a wheezy voice that was a little hard to understand but I kept the pleasant smile on my face.
Of course there were a few things I needed to ask, but I wasn't sure how much to ask him because Itachi could always follow my steps and ask him if he'd seen a pink haired girl come through. I thought for a moment and it didn't take long to come up with a way to stop this man from answering any questions Itachi might have for him. "Sir, I do have a request and I do have a question or two, if you wouldn't mind answering." I gave my most innocent smile, slipping into the role of a helpless female.
He smiled and said encouragingly, "Not at all, please ask."
I lowered my eyes, in a way that would make it look like I was ashamed or scared, both worked to my advantage. "Well, my boyfriend and I had a rather rough brake up and I left. Unfortunately we were on a trip and I don't know where I am. I was hoping that if a tall, dark haired man comes asking after me, that you'd say I wasn't here. I was also wondering if you knew the way to the nearest city?" I tugged at my fingers, in a way I'd seen Hinata do as a child, tiring very hard to look helpless and frightened.
His eyes lost the happiness and his smile fell from his lips before he said, "You young people and your affairs, they never end well. But yes I won't tell this man you stopped here. The largest town is almost twenty miles west from here, there is a path." He gave me an appraising glance before saying, "I don't like the thought of you, a young women traveling alone. Perhaps I could find some one to escort you."
I was against that, I couldn't be slowed by some civilian, I wanted to run like a ninja, over tree branches and faster then the normal eye could catch. I cursed the fact that I pulled off the defenseless girl so well but I could maybe work this in my advantage again. I looked at him again before saying, "Actually, have you seen any ninja around or in any in the other city?"
He seemed confused at my question but he answered me in a hesitant voice, "There aren't any ninja in the other village, other then the few that travel through. This village hasn't seen ninja in years. Why would a young lady ask about the harsh world of shinobi?"
I smiled and said, "Oh, when I was traveling I heard a rumor about...leaf?" I played stupid, placing a finger on my lip and tilting me head to the side, "Yes, Leaf ninja searching for someone? I was just curious if you'd heard anything? And was curious if a ninja could escort me, they'd be able to protect me..." I little a little awe leak into my voice, hoping beyound hope that he'd say leaf ninja had passed through a near by village resently.
He seemed pleased by my answer, probably thinking I was some small town girl in love with the heroic idea of a lost girl being searched for by strong ninja. I kept my eyes wide and tried to keep a excited look in my eye, like a child would look when hearing a fairy tale, or so I hoped. Unfortunately he said he hadn't heard anything but since the village was so small he rarely got news about the activities of ninjas. I schooled my expression into that of disappointment, which wasn't hard since I'd been hoping he'd say something about my search party, so I thanked him again and made my way out of the inn and in the direction on the road he'd pointed to. Very pleased with myself for distracting him about my escort.
Before I left the inn I removed my cloak from my bag a securely tucked my hair under the hood, to make sure no one else would notice me I stuck the shadows. Strangers would be remembered so I was very glad that I didn't see any other people out at this early hour, once I was a mile out of town I took off, leaping over branches and curving off the path just a little but keeping my bearings west, towards the city.
My chakra thankfully lasted until I reach the out skirts of the town, I didn't need to rent a room, I just needed information on how to reach Konoha and maybe some supplies. Money was my only real concern, I hoped my feminine whiles would get me the information I needed without drawing to much attention to myself. Once the village was insight, I felt relief flood through my system, it was big enough for a stranger to go unnoticed but once again my hair posed a problem. I had a little chakra left, I could use a weak technique and change my hair color to a soft brown, if I did that though, I wouldn't have enough to sense Itachi if he got close but maybe I could hide well enough by masking my chakra so that he wouldn't notice me if he passed through. I cursed under my breath, angry that I hadn't slowed down and saved some chakra for this, but I really had no other choice, I had to change my hair and hope that he wouldn't find me.
I took my weapons out of my belt and stowed them in my bag, hoping none of the villagers would be able to tell that the belt was meant to hold weapons. My clothes were strange but I couldn't do anything about that so I made sure to keep my eyes lowered but not show to much weakness. It didn't take long for me to find a local tavern and, with a few bats if my eye lashes, entice a few drinks out of the local men. Eventually I found one who seemed to take delight in frightening me with stories of ninjas and great battles.
He wasn't a ninja, but he was versed enough in the comings and goings of ninjas for me to ask, with a coy look and a frighten voice, "So, have you seen any ninjas around here lately?" He was engrossed in the role I was playing, Naruto had once said I was a terrible actress, but this man didn't seem to know that or maybe he thought I was going to put out after a few more drinks, sadly enough for him I could hold my alcohol better then most men could.
He laughed and said, "Don't worry, sweetheart, I've only seen the occasional one pass by on their ways back home." That wasn't what I wanted to hear, this village was large and I remembered the inn as the last one Itachi had kept me in. My friends should have tracked me here or somewhere close to it by now. I decided to ask again, but rephrase my question a little, "No...packs of them have come through? I heard they hunt people..it would be so scary to run into a pack of them." I had dropped my voice into a whisper.
He laughed again and pulled me close enough that I could smell the drink and smoke on his clothes, I didn't like how low his hand was dipping on my back but I didn't say anything. He said in a loud laugh, "No! My dear, there are none in this village and I haven't heard of any of them being in any of the surrounding towns either." His lips dipped to my ear as he said that. I knew he wouldn't lie to me about this, he seemed to like playing hero and if there was shinobi around here then he'd take to the roll of protecting me from them.
I fought the urge to recoil from him, I had to keep my act up just a little longer, after all, I needed some supplies. I kissed just below his ear, not focusing very hard on what I doing, I said in the lowest most sultry voice I could, "Why don't we head back to your place?" That was all it took to make him place his hand around my waist and pull me down a few streets and into a small apartment. The moment he closed his door, I pressed the pressure point that would knock him out, not letting him get any closer to me. Once he'd dropped to the ground I reached into his pocket and removed his wallet, I hated to reduce myself to such pettiness but I had no choice. He didn't have a lot of money but it was enough for two nights in a crummy hotel and maybe a meal or two, but since he'd be out for the rest of the night I didn't see anything wrong with eating the only apple he had and stealing a few pieces of jerky I found in his cupboard. Typical men to have nothing but dried meat and old left-overs in their kitchens.
I couldn't leave him in the hallway, so I moved him to the living room floor, removed his shirt and pants, tilted a few pictures and knocked some things over, I also smeared some lipstick on his lips and neck. When he woke up with a massive hangover, he'd think he goten lucky and probably think he'd spent all his money getting the girl drunk the night before, he looked like the type who'd done it before. I walked quickly out of his apartment building and back to the main road, I needed to find the route to Konoha or another large village who might have heard about my search party.
I walked to the edge of the town and found a run down looking inn, happily for me, this one had a map hanging on the wall. It was an old map, faded and stained but the villages hadn't changed so it was relatively easy to find Konoha, finding the little village I was currently standing in, however, was harder. After ten minutes of staring at the map, I gave up and walked over the man behind the desk and asked the name of the town.
He looked at me oddly before I clarified, "I'm not from around here, I'm on my way to visit some family, and I just wondering how much further I had." He gave me a strange look before walking around the corner and pointed to a village I hadn't even noticed before, it was almost two hundred miles from Konoha. I barely contained my first instinct, which was to curse in a way that the proper lady I was pretending to be never would, instead I nodded my thanks and walked quickly to my room before the man could question me.
Once my door was closed I sunk to the floor, I couldn't believe he'd managed to get me so far away, every hotel move must have been further and further away. Of course if I had all my chakra the trip would only take a day or so but since I couldn't risk staying in one town long enough to regain it all, I'd be leaving with less then half my chakra which meant it'd take a three or four days. I raked my fingers through my hair, resigning myself to the next few days that would be filled with running, hiding, staying in dirty inns and stealing. I felt cowardly, running like a rat from dirty inn to dirty inn, stealing to pay for the inns and probably hiding in the shadows but I didn't have another choice.
I slept fitfully again that night, well I didn't really sleep, I tossed and turned and I woke up before dawn in a cold sweat. Once I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep, my heart was racing and I felt as if I was being watched but I could detect any chakra signature and when I looked out my window I didn't see anyone. I left shortly after I looked out my window, I didn't know if I was being paranoid or if he was catching up to me, the temporary paralysis should have worn off recently and it wouldn't be crazy to think he'd caught up, he had all his chakra and was at least Anbu level.
I found myself running through the forest at a pace faster then I thought possible. I ran straight through lunch and only stopped when the next village came into view, but I didn't run straight to the inn like I had thought I would, I instead found myself staring at the buildings and wondering if I should go in. If I went into the village people would see a stranger, even if I didn't have my pink hair I'd still be a stranger in a village that didn't get many of those but if I stayed outside of the village I wouldn't have the protection of people. I knew Itachi, he wouldn't harm people just to take revenge out on me, so if I stayed outside the village he wouldn't have any reason not to kill me in a loud and very painful way. This was the smallest town I'd seen, a few buildings with what looked like apartments above them and a few people wandering home to their dinners, they'd notice me right away, the gossip of a stranger would spread in minutes in a town this small but I had no other choice but to go in and spread the same lie I'd told the first man, if i had no other choice.
I walked into the village and found the dirty inn, I then bought a room for the night and went to the local bar to find some poor unsuspecting guy to steal from. The guy I found wasn't at all like the last one, he was attractive and actually kind of funny. His dark hair and eyes attracted me to him and my flirtatious glances and coy smile brought him to me. He answered my questions the same as the last guy, no news of my search party but instead of grabbing my ass and licking my ear, he kissed me in a very heated way. What surprised me was that I returned the kiss, I wound my hands in his hair and he pulled me into his lap, I didn't mind very much. I'd never really had one night stands but it felt so good, so librating to just kiss someone without worrying about seeing them ever again.
When the kiss paused, simply for a breath of air, he whispered against my neck, "My place?" My answer was another heated kiss, which only ended because I pulled away and dragged him into the alley. His hands had just slipped under shirt and were slowly creeping up my sides when he was rather violently pulled off me. The first thing I thought of was that is was freezing outside without someone else▓s heat warming me, the next was how angry I was that someone had interfered with us and the third was that the guy was on the ground and a very angry Itachi was glaring at him, even though he was knocked out and laying on the ground. I didn't stop to think about why I wasn't dead or anything else, I just ran.
I took off down the street at a speed that I knew was attracting attention from the civilians, but all I could think of was getting away. I didn't even get outside the town before my chakra forced me to slow to a normal pace. I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid him at such a slow pace but I hoped that since my chakra was low and that I'd masked it, that he wouldn't find me. I wished I hadn't left my pack at the inn, it had my money and supplies but I wasn't about to risk going back to the inn, I also knew that I wouldn't make it very far out of the town before he caught me so once again I only had one option, to find another bar and sink into a dark corner and pray he'd think I left the village. It didn't take me long to find one, it was packed, which worked for me, I found an empty booth and slumped.
It wasn't until I'd stopped moving that I realized he should've caught me before I even got out of the alley. He also should have grabbed me the moment the guy was off me, he shouldn't have glared at him liked he'd done something wrong. My eyes stayed glued to the door, praying I didn't see him come in and also looking for another guy to hind behind. My heart was still pounding and I realized I probably looked terrified, not the kind of girl anyone would want to approach so I worked to control my emotions, burying the fear and bringing out the excitement I had felt at my almost one night stand. Even though I was still on alert, my mind went back to that feeling of freedom, of total abandonment. I could have never done that in Konoha, it would've been all over town the next day and my friends would never let me live it down, because at home I was not the kind of girl who did that.
I hated that about Konoha, the gossip and stereo type that people had labeled me with, everyone thought I was some goodie goodie who always followed the rules and had a crush on Susake. Maybe all my time away from that had changed me or maybe it had only brought it out of me, either way I knew I wasn't that girl anymore but I had to go back to being that girl, what else could I do? I suddenly felt cold, almost trapped but I pushed that aside, all I had to do was find some guy who wouldn't hesitant to take me to his house where I could stay safely for the night.
It wasn't hard and no sooner had the guy, whose name I hadn't even bothered to learn, took me to his house and I had him knocked about before the door was shut. I was relieved that I didn't have to sleep with him, I just wasn't in the mood for that now, I stole some money from his wallet and grabbed something to eat, I also slept fitfully on his couch for a few hours before I left. It felt strange to sleep on his couch with him past out on the floor but I didn't much care, when I woke up I calmly walked to the inn with my belongings still sitting right where I left them. I grabbed them without looking before I ran out of the village, I was only hundered or so miles away and if I killed myself I might be able to make it to Konoha's borders before sunrise tomorrow.
So I ran and I kept running, I didn't stop for lunch and I didn't stop for dinner. When I didn't have enough chakra to run at ninja speed I ran at normal pace, I didn't even pause at the little village, my only thoughts were of getting to Konoha. It was about eight at night when I had to stop, I collapsed under a tree in the snow when I couldn't find the strength to walk anymore. I instantly started cursing at myself for not stopping, even if I had only stopped for a few hours, but I hadn't because I'd let my fear of being caught out rule my smarter instincts. Now I was defenseless, sitting under a tree, in the dark and freezing. Of course it wasn't long before I fell asleep, some vague part of my mind told me I'd probably freeze to death but I couldn't stop myself of slipping into unconsciousness. My last thought was that atleast I wasn't going to die as Itachi's captive and Konoha would never have to know of my betrayel.
I woke up, warm, dry and most importantly alive. It took me a few moments to remember that I'd passed out in the snow and freezing to death, not on a bed with a blanket tucked under my chin. When I opened my eyes I was met with a blank wall of a hotel, I hoped that some kindly people had been traveling and had found me, saved me and brought me to a hotel but the rational part of my mind told me that probably wasn't true. I pushed myself into a sitting position and I saw the only person I didn't want to see, Itachi, who was sitting calmly and watching me with eyes that showed the barest hint of relief, which startled me.
I wasn't scared, I really should have been but I wasn't, I knew he'd be the one to find me, after all no one else would be running through the words after dark. He was watching me but he wasn't glaring at me, like I thought he would be, I had left him immobile on a couch but the only look I could discern was relief and I didn't understand that. We sat there, watching each other, for more then ten minutes before he spoke, "That was foolish of you." he said that in a very bland voice.
I had to work very hard to keep the shock off my face, that wasn't at all what I'd expected but he always surprised me. I glared at him before I said in an annoyed, "My second mistake then." I didn't like the fact that I was sitting on a bed, not only did it remind me of our first meeting but it made me feel vulnerable. I shifted, turning towards him and placing my feet on the ground, had I been alone I would have hissed at the cold but I wasn't about to show anymore weakness to him.
His eyes swept over my body and I was suddenly very aware that I was no longer wearing the black outfit I had on when I passed out. I couldn't look down and see what I was wearing so I focused on where my skin felt cloth, I could still feel my bindings and underwear, which had relief flowing through me stronger then it should have but on top of them I had some sort of dress on. It was thin and reached mid thigh as I sat, there weren't any sleeves but it wasn't cut very low.
I was freezing, the stupid dress didn't help me retain any of my body heat and Itachi's eyes roaming over my body had me fighting the urge to either shift or blush. He got up and walked over to me, stopping when he was less then a foot away, he dropped into a crouch so our eyes were almost even, I had to look down slightly to meet his gaze directly, I had no idea what he wanted from me but the tension that had been building seemed to double.
His hands were laying across his knees but it felt like he was restraining himself from touching me. His eyes stayed locked on mine as he said, "Second? I believe this was my second your first." He smirked at me.
Again, he confused me. He never spoke unless necessary yet here he was, talking and joking with me. I figured if he wasn't playing by the old rules then I shouldn't either, part of my mind was saying run, run away and get back to Konoha, get away from him. The other part was saying he'd catch me, he was close and even if I managed to get out of the room he would still catch me, even though I had full chakra I knew I wasn't a match for him. So I leaned forward and said, "No, I had a first mistake, probably more but I'm only counting two."
I smirked at him, watching his reaction, I had become very good at seeing emotions in his eyes and in his body language so I watched and waited for a reaction. He seemed amused and maybe a little pleased, at what I didn't know but that▓s what I saw, I had more of a problem with the amusement, why did he find me amusing? It also looked like he was waiting for me to say something else, but I wasn't about to say more, mostly because I had spoken last but another reason was I wasn't sure what we were doing. I knew he could be toying with me, luring me into a false since of security before slitting my throat. I didn't see the point in dwelling on that thought, if he wanted me dead I probably wouldn't be able to stop him, I could hurt him though and if he attacked me I planed on hurting him.
He sighed and said, "That was a very useful trick you used on me, I've never seen someone paralyze someone else so quickly and only using chakra." That sounded dangerously close to a complement. The tension was still growing and our close proximity didn't seem to be helping at all, I was getting very sick of this weird game we were playing. But that didn't mean I shouldn't play the game for just a little while longer.
I put on a sickly sweet smile and said in a sarcastic voice, "Thanks. So are you going to tell me why you've taken me hostage, again, and not killed me?" I kept my overly sweet smile on my lips, it seemed to be working because his lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes got a tint of confusion. I knew it wasn't smart to be irritating him, let alone be inquiring after my own state of life to the very man who was most likely to kill me. For the first time since he'd walked over to me, his eyes left mine and focused on my lips and the tension increased and I realized it wasn't the kind of tension that would grow between a hostage and captor, it was sexual tension and it was very strong.
My clenched the sheets on the edge of the bed, I was angry at myself for feeling that kind of tension between us but more then angry I felt intrigued. That had to be my third mistake, I should feel nothing but anger and hate towards him, not attraction but I felt it anyway and I vaguely wondered what it'd be like to kiss him, touch him and I shouldn't have wondered that because now I also had to focus on keeping my blush from coming to my cheeks. His eyes went back to mine and he looked angry, for the first time since I'd woken up, he looked angry with me.
I shrunk back onto the bed a little and before I could blink he had pined me to the wall, I was momentarily grateful that it wasn't the bed but either way I was trapped. He was leaning over the bed, his head bent but he wasn't as tense as he had been before. My back was pressed against the wall, my hands were clenching at the sheets and his hands where on either side of my shoulds, his head bent before mine but I still wasn't scared of him, I was startled at his sudden movement but I still couldn't bring myself to fear him.
I knew it was stupid and that I probably should keep quiet at a moment like this but instead I spoke up, saying in a softer voice then I had planned on, "Ita-" Was all I managed to get out before his finger pressed against my lips. He was looking in my eyes again, this time it was like he was looking for an answer he expected me to hold but I had no idea what that would be.
He sighed and said, "Your like a poison, I'm sure you know that, after all I've heard you've infected many of the men in Konoha. Not to mention one man in every village you've stopped in." He glared as he said that last part, I still didn't know what he was talking about, he wasn't making any sense to me and it wasn't like him to talk in circles. He shock his head, maybe at my slowness or whatever it was he was talking about, either way I just sat there, watching him and wondering if he was going to keep his finger over my lips until he was done talking.
He didn't look angry when he spoke again but he wasn't amused, "Your still not scared. You never were even though you should have been terrified." So he'd noticed my lack of fear, I wasn't sure why he cared so much, maybe it was an ego thing but no matter the reason it seemed to bother him. "You even had the courage to talk to me, question me, people who don't even know who I am shrink away from me when I walk into bars, but even now your not cowering." His lips press against mine, his finger was still on my lips and he didn't remove it as he kissed me. It was barely more then his lips pressing against mine but that didn't stop the tension from increasing to a point until I felt like it was going to crush me.
I kept my hands very firmly at my sides, it was hard not to reach over and pull him against me. When he finally pulled away I found myself breathing heavily, even though the kiss was one my mother had given me when I was a child. He removed his hand from my lips and placed it back on the wall next to my head, now he seemed to be bracing himself not pinning me.
He wasn't looking at me anymore, his head was bent and his eyes were still closed, "How did you make me trust you without me realizing I did? How did you get under my skin and make me care what happens to you?" He sounded strained, but when he looked at me he his eyes were clear, they weren't exactly open but it didn't look like he was hiding from me.
I said, "Why did I never fear you? Why couldn't I bring myself to hurt you? I think we have the same problem." The tension was still there but it wasn't as strong and I realized that this, whatever it was between us, was as close as either of us would get to admitting feelings for one another. I saw him freeze and I felt myself go very still, I guessed he realized what I just did, that I had felt something for him and that he probably felt something for me. It was way to weird for me to focus on what was happening, or even to really think about the fact the a missing nin liked me and I was pretty sure I liked him, it sounded so childish to me but I doubted he felt anything stronger then lust and maybe a tint of attraction.
He smirked after a few minutes of what was becoming uncomfortable silence and he moved very slowly towards me, stopping when his lips were antagonizing close to mine and he said in a low voice and had my heart pounding, "You have the strength to run back. I won't follow you, if you leave. Perhaps it would be better if you leave." I could feel his breath fanning across my cheeks and his body heating mixing with mine.
I thought about what he said, it wasn't exactly what I wanted to here and it made me question what I had been planning on doing. Konoha hadn't sent a search party out for me, and he'd saved my life twice. He'd taken care of me for months, he'd never harmed me even though he had every opportunitie to so maybe I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was for wanting to care for him and for wanting him to care for me. It only took me a few seconds to come to my conclusion and I didn't think Itachi was the kind of guy who'd be gentle so when I kissed him, it wasn't gentle.
He also wasn't very gentle when he shoved me onto the bed and I didn't really care, most of the guys I was with treated me like a glass doll but judging from the way he was trying to rip my dress of, I doubted he would treat me like a fragile girl. Once he'd relieved me of my dress he went right to my bindings, I glared, he was still fully clothed and that wasn't far. So I flipped us so I was stranding him, he looked surprised before he smirked and I returned the gesture and leaned down to kissed him.
I lived happily with him for two months, we lived in his house, and took little jobs. Of course I had to hide my identity when we went out, I kept my hair a light brown so I wouldn't have to change my eyes or skin tone, no one had to learn our names because we never stayed in one place very long. I would never refer to Itachi and soft or gentle, but he did show a certain level of affection towards me, never anything romantic but smaller things like, he would hold me on the couch or kiss me without the intent of getting me to bed, although we almost always ended up in bed. He would also give me this look when he thought I wouldn't notice, it was the closest to soft he'd ever come and when I saw him give me that look I had to smile to myself.
Of course all good things come to an end, it was near the end of our third month together when I began to miss my old friends in Konoha, my old life and more then anything else I missed healing people. I wondered what my old friends were thinking, if they were still looking for me or if they had ever started looking for me, did they think I was dead? I was crushed with guilt, what if all my old friends thought I was dead? Naruto would have been crushed, Tsunade would've been devastated and she drank to much before I left, what about my students? They needed me to teach them, to guild them through all the tricky medical procedures that no one else understood. How many people had died because I wasn't there to heal them, I wasn't being arrogant, I had the best chakra control and knew things that most people couldn't even begin understand, I'd saved many lives that would've been lost had I not been there.
He was out on a mission the day I decided to leave, I couldn't keep ignoring how badly I wanted to go back to Konoha, to show my former friends that I was alive and to save people again. The decision hurt, it hurt me more then I thought possible, I couldn't cry though, I wouldn't let myself because this was my choice and I didn't deserve to cry. So I packed my clothes and supplies, I dressed in my traveling clothes and even though I was ready to leave, I couldn't go without saying goodbye. I put my bags by the door and sat on the couch, I had brought a book out and had intended on reading it but instead found myself staring at the same page for two hours, wondering if I should un-pack my bags and forget about leaving but they were packed and I couldn't make myself un-pack them, I could even make myself move or turn the page.
The moment he walked in he must have picked up on the change in my mood because he dropped something and walked over to me. He stood in front of me arms crossed and I looked up at him, waiting for him to say something because my intentions were clear. He wasn't looking at me though, he was looking over my head, towards our bedroom and suddenly his intentions were very clear. I didn't want that and suddenly I wished I had left without saying goodbye, I stood up slowly, careful not to touch him in any way, I turned on my heel and moved towards the door but his hand on wrist stopped me. I didn't turn around to face him though, I just waited for whatever it was he planned on saying, I knew I could've pulled away and that I probably should have but I couldn't make myself.
"Your leaving then." It wasn't a question because he knew the answer already, my packed bags was enough proof of that. However, I still felt the need to answer him and escape before the slowly growing tension grew to hard to resist. I couldn't look at him though, because I knew his smoldering eyes would break any resolve I had left, so I nodded my head and pulled against his wrist.
He heard him smirk as he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, I wasn't aware that I had closed my eyes until he turned me around and kissed me. I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't resist him and I knew this would be the last time I saw him, unless he was captured but that would end with his death so I hoped fervently that this would be the last time I saw him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer and I felt him tighten his arms around my waist. Eventually I pulled away for air, I was already breathing heavily and I was pushed closer to hyperventilating when his lips moved to my neck and down my shoulder, I thought I should return the favor a little.
I ran my hands down his chest to the end of his shirt before I feathered my hands across his chest, his skin was hot and I heard him hiss as my cold hands moved across his chest. Soon cloths were coming off and I was down to my panties by the time by back hit the bed, he somehow managed to retain his pants though, when I moved to rectify that he push me roughly back onto the bed and smirk from above me, "Not so fast, if your leaving I'm going to make you scream first."
I writhed, he sounded like he meant what he said but I didn't have much to time wonder about it because the kiss he gave me wiped all thought from my mind. My hands went to his hair, trying to pull him closer as my hips ground into his, I heard him growl at my movements and his hand pushed my hips rather firmly back onto the bed. I glared at him, normally he'd never have pushed me away but he just smirked and I was suddenly very nervous about his previous comment.
His hands ran down my body and his lips followed closely behind, I had only two thoughts in my head, one that he was torturing me and I loved and hated him for it and two, that I knew what he was doing, he was trying to convince me to stay and it was working very very well. Every inch of my body was screaming for him, every brush of his skin and me screaming for more and he was slowly driving me crazy. Itachi could never be called gentel and I knew that by tomorrow I'd be covered in brusies and I'd be sore for days but right now all I wanted was him he to push into me and be as rough as he could without killing me.
He kept his promise, I screamed and I was pretty sure I even begged, not that I'd ever admit to it. When I had come down from my orgasmic high I was covered in sweat and I could feel my hair sticking out at very unattractive ways. I laid in the bed for a while after we were both done, trying to get the physical strength to get out of bed. My arm was lying across my eyes as I tried to get my breathing back under control and my heart to stop racing, it wasn't a task easily accomplished when I could feel his heat against my side.
Eventually I sat up, bringing the sheet up with me, not for modesty, he'd seen everything a few times at this point, but because I was naked and I no longer had another▓s heat keeping me warm. The floor was freezing against my bare feet and I was reluctant to get out of bed and leave, to willingly walk into the cold night. I shivered at thought of the cold wind blowing into my face, through my hair and freezing my hands, I considered staying here until it was warmer but that would mean more deaths on my mind and I'd put people I cared about through more needless pain. I heard him shift behind me and felt his hands brush across my bare back, the warmth that that little touch caused me was ridiculous but that didn't stop me from leaning into it.
His arms wrapped around my waist again, though not possessively this time and his chest pressed against my back, I greedily stole his warmth. His chin rested on my shoulder, it was an intimate gesture, one he hadn't done before because this gesture was one of caring not of simply getting into my pants. I held the sheet more tightly against my chest as I turned towards him, his eyes were closed and his breathing was coming out very softly. I wondered briefly if he'd fallen asleep but his grip was to tight for him to be sleeping, I leaned over and kissed the corner of his lips softly, it would be our last kiss because I stood up and moved away before he could kiss me properly.
I dressed quickly, feeling his eyes roam over me as I did and when I had pulled on my shirt I looked over at him, the sight almost had me gasping for air. He looked far to much like a sex god for anyone▓s good, his pale skin contrasted greatly with his dark eyes and hair, his well toned chest gave me the urge to touch him all over again. The sheets were slung low enough so that I could see a thin line of dark hair above the sheets. I figured it was only fair for me to be taking one last look, he'd been watching me very intently as I dressed after all.
I sighed again before I walked out of the bedroom, grabbed my bags, calmly walked out the front door and launched into a run. It was after midnight but I knew I wouldn't be stopping until I past through the gates I had so confidently strode through more then seven months ago. The cold air was worse then I'd pictured it, it pulled my hair from it's bun and I could feel wind-burn beginning to form on my lips. My hands were going numb but I just ignored it, I got hungry but I didn't stop, I didn't know how long I'd been running before I saw things I recognized but the sun was starting it's desent into the western sky.
I slowed when I saw the path that would lead to the gates, I jumped down onto the path and looked in the direction that would show the gates just around the corner. I walked towards the gate, not because I didn't have the energy to run but because I needed time to think. I had already formed a reason as to my absence, I was held hostage and had my chakra drained daily, I never learned the name of my captor and had managed to kill him one day after retaining enough chakra to short circuit his brain. My lack of injuries would be explained because I was a medic, I had healed myself on my way home. I doubted any one would question me after that but if they did I had various details filed away as needed, what I needed time to think about was how much I had changed since I had left.
I wasn't the same person on a lot of levels, I was definitely more assertive and more self reliant but I knew there were differences in how I acted that I couldn't really pinpoint. If I had been the same girl who had left, I wouldn't be slowly walking towards home, I'd be running, full speed and full of happiness that I was finally home. Instead I kept having flash backs of Itachi, not all of them were graphic but some were, I remembered the looks he'd give me and how he'd watched over me when I was defenseless. I considered turning around and running back to him, I had been happy there and here I wasn't always happy, here I worked hard to make sure everyone else was happy and often pretended I was happy.
It's not that I wasn't happy in Konoha, I was but being with Itachi, being free, had made me happy, a different kind of happy but I knew that I couldn't run from my duties and my life here, people needed me. The happy I was with Itachi was the kind that having no responsibilities made you, it was the kind teenagers wanted, the no rules no consequences but everything I did had a consequence and I couldn't ignore that any more. I sighed, pushed all my memories of the last few months deep inside my mind and walked into the village.
It was late evening so people were still out, having dinner and going shopping, some looked at me, shock written on there faces. I recognized a few as people I had healed, I could name most of them but I didn't stop to say hello and I didn't smile; I didn't want people running up and saying hello or welcoming me back, I just wanted to get to the Hokage▓s office and figure out why I hadn't heard anything about a search party for me. I was still confused and angry about that, if I had actually been held hostage for the entire time, or if I had been taken by anyone who had actually wanted to hurt me, then I would have been tortured and I probably would have either broken or driven so far into my mind that I couldn't have been brought back.
The guards in front of the Hokage tower looked just as shocked when they saw me, they were to surprised to ask for my papers or reason for entering the building, I would have to have a chat with Tsunade about them. I heard the one to my right stutter something but I just pushed past him, my anger at having not been searched for was increasing and I didn't have the patience for two incompetent ninja to stutter questions at me. I ignored the people who stared at me once I was inside the buildings, I heard a few more half formed questions but I just walked past them and up the stairs to the large doors which blocked the Hokage from my view.
My chakra was still masked but if I knew the Hokage then she was either drunk or ignoring people who walked by her office. I knocked, loudly, on the door, the noise echoed throughout the hallway and a few people poked their heads out of their offices, I heard a few gasps and shocked whispers but I didn't focus on them because I heard her call to me to come in. I pushed the anger back down, schooled my features into a blank expression before I walked into the office. She was staring out the window, papers in her hand but she wasn't reading them, her desk was covered in papers and she looked the exact same as she had when I left. I hadn't realized I'd that I had been hoping for her to be upset over my absence or maybe bent over maps planning the next area for my search but she wasn't, she was calmly looking out her window and ignoring work like she had everyday.
I wasn't going to be the first to speak so I waited for her to say something, I knew silence would annoy her and I knew she'd snap at me soon enough. I was right, I saw her shoulders tense and her hands clench and she said, without looking at me, "Well? Are you going to ask me whatever it was you came here for or stand there like a fool?" She didn't sound happy. I found some amount of pleasure in that, after all it doesn't look like she'd put any effort into getting me back. Once when a Kakashi went missing for a week she had her whole office swarming with people and maps, she organized three search parties and sent two single man cells out to look for him, yet when I disappear for months, she doesn't even have one map of the place were I vanished.
"Well, I was just curious as to what you were up to these days. I see you've gotten on well enough with my absence." My voice was calm, even and I kept my body posture closed but not defensive. I took her a few moments before she whipped around and looked at me wide eyed, disbelief coloring every inch of her face. She just stared at me for a few minutes, not knowing what to say I suppose, her hazel eyes looked over every inch of my body, looking for wounds I guessed but that didn't make any sense because I would've already healed them. She stood up slowly and walked around her desk, coming to stand just a few feet from me, this wasn't the greeting I had expected but it made sense the more I thought about it. After all, my chakra was masked and it seemed I was supposed to be dead, however, I wasn't about to unmask my chakra and have every person I knew come running here to see me.
"Show me the scar you got when we were training." She raised a thin eyebrow at me, apparently she was testing me, not trusting that I was really back. If someone was impersonating me then they wouldn't know all my scars and that certainly wouldn't know which scar she was talking about. My lips pulled into a small smile as I pulled my shirt up to show the underside of my forearm, where a thin, curved scar was. Her eyes zoned in on the mark, not for long because soon her arms wrapped around my shoulders and she hugged me with bone crushing strength.
When she pulled away her eyes were shining with tears but she was smiling at me with happiness I hadn't expected. Her hands rested on my shoulders as she said, "We thought you were dead, we found a sight on the path you would have taken, burned to a crisp and several burned body▓s. Two of the body▓s were so badly burned that they couldn't be identified." Her eyes searched mine again, looking for something. "When we couldn't find any sign of you leaving or sightings in the first three months we thought our worst fears were realized..."
So they had looked for me, I lost a little of the anger but they had only searched for three months, I'd been gone more then seven. Still, I smiled at her because her relief and joy at my arrival showed she did care about me and that I'd been a fool to assume she hadn't looked for me. She pulled me over to her couch and sat me down, her hand grasped one of mine as she said in a soft voice, "Sakura, what happened?"
I looked away, I couldn't lie to her while looking at her, she was my mentor and a mother figure to me, I'd knew she'd think I was remembering some horrific event. I told her the story I'd come up with that was only half true, that I'd been taken hostage and held there, that he'd tried to get information about Konoha from me but I hadn't given him any. I explained that he'd taken my chakra away, leaving me with barely enough to stay alive and how one day he left me with enough to over load his brain and kill him.
She asked a few questions but she believed me whole heartedly, after all, to her knowledge there was no reason for me to lie to her. After a few hours of questions and answers I was allowed to go home and rest, my apartment hadn't been rented out and no one could handle removing my things. When I walked in, it was dusty, dirty but untouched but it still looked different from what I remembered, my bright colored walls looked out of place with the ninja and medical gear that laid around. My plants had died and books that I'd left opened looked abandoned, papers that were classified were strewn across my coffee table, I'd forgotten how messy I'd lived.
I walked around for a few minutes, observing the belongings that I owned with different eyes, it was kind of like walking through a dream. After a while I started cleaning, something I never would have done with a free night but I couldn't stand the mess, it felt suffocating. I brought all the books and papers to my office, which used to be a spare bedroom, I tossed the dead plants and moved the ninja and medical things back into my closet or office. When I was done, my apartment looked different, it was uncluttered and neat, before I thought about it I threw open all my windows and allowed the cold air to removed the musty smell, I left them open when I went to bed.
The next day was a blur of friends coming over, hugs, tears and yelling. I'd told the same story I told Tsunade, Naruto came over first and stayed until late at night, I saw just how hard my 'death' had been on him and I regretted waiting so long to come back to see him and when he hugged, for the first time, I remembered just how much I loved and missed him. He was the only person I cried over seeing and the only person whose presence didn't bother me.
He left just before midnight, reluctant but I knew Hinata was waiting for him and I wanted some time alone. When I was finally alone I opened the tall windows in my bedroom and swung my legs outside, the air was warmer out tonight then it had been the night before, spring would be upon us in another month or so. It was still my favorite time of year, despite all the changes I'd gone through, everything was alive again in spring, the air was warm and the wind carried smells of leaves and grass instead of ice.
It was to cloudy to see the stars or moon but that didn't stop me from staring up at the sky, wishing I was away from the city lights. My changes in character hadn't gone unnoticed but people chalked in up to my resent traumatic events, I didn't bother to correct them. Naruto had asked me a thousand questions, most of which I didn't have to answer because he fired off the next ten to quickly for me to even consider answering. The next few weeks passed by in the same way, Naruto, and some times Kakashi, would come over in the morning to take me to breakfast or out to train, they'd stay with me most of the day unless I had a shift at the hospital. I didn't mind the company but I knew they were waiting for a break down of some kind but after a month the visits were shorter and after two months we were back to seeing each other once or twice a week and after two and a half months Naruto asked the question which made me consider leaving again.
He didn't mean it in a perverted way, "So, Sakura have you found a guy to settle down with yet?" He smirked at me. The moment the question left his month I was bombarded with images of Itachi, it's not like I hadn't thought of him since I'd gotten here but the images were much stronger. He must have seen the sudden change in my eyes or something because he smirked at me and nudge my arm, "You have! Who's the lucky guy?"
I rolled my eyes at his over-excited voice before I said, "It doesn't matter, Naruto, so leave it alone." I was glad we were eating at the time, it gave me something to focus on so it wouldn't look like I was avoiding his eyes.
"Come on, Sakura! Who is it?" I should've known it wouldn't have been that easy. I started to think of a way to get out of this without lying to much because he would sense a lie and bother me forever about it then, I needed something that sounded boring but satisfied his curiosity. I couldn't think of anything boring but I had a story that wasn't fully lying and should sway him from asking further questions.
"It doesn't matter, Naruto. He doesn't care for me the way I do for him." I was extremely angry at the sadness that had leaked into my voice. I looked over at him, his eyes were wide, like I'd said something he couldn't believe. He put his hand on my shoulder and shook me slightly, I new he was going to say something I didn't want to hear but I couldn't stop him.
"Ehh, you could have any guy you wanted. Don't look so sad, Sakura." I didn't realize I looked sad until he sad that and suddenly I felt the sadness wash over me. I tried to push the thoughts of him away, I couldn't leave here to go back and I wasn't even sure if he'd want to see me anymore, I could've been just a fuck buddy to him, I probably was. I could still feel Naruto's eyes on me, I didn't know what to say to him or if I needed to say anything. His eyes stayed on me though, so I had to say something to him.
"Your not going to let this go, are you Naruto?" I slid my eyes over to him, letting annoyance color my eyes and tone. He just smiled a very bright and very big smile at me, I sighed. I had two options, tell half truths now or try and tell him more truth then lies tonight, I looked over at him, I wanted to lie because it would be so much easier but I knew I'd never be able to get a coherent lie out with him looking at me like that.
I looked back at my food before I said, "I can't tell you everything, Naruto but if you want to know so badly then come over tonight." I could see his confused look but he didn't question me and further and I couldn't stay to regret what I said, so I paid for our food and walked back home. I walked into my apartment and instantly needed something to keep my mind and hands busy so I wouldn't dwell on what I had just done, I had pretty much agreed to turn myself in to Naruto, I had no doubt that he wouldn't take what I had to tell him well, of course I wasn't planning on mentioning any names but I realized I didn't want to keep this to myself anymore. It was weak of me, to need to tell someone my secret, to have someone else in this village know who I spent to much time thinking about and know about the one person who had managed to get under my skin.
The task I picked to keep myself busy was paper work, I started helping Lady Tsunade with her paper work again and I had some of my own that I needed to do so it was the perfect task to keep my mind off the stupid thing I had promised to do. Time passed faster and slower then I would have liked and soon I heard my door creak open and then click shut, Naruto had started just walking in again, the first two months I had been home he'd knocked but whatever had made him start clearly didn't matter anymore because he simply walked in now.
I pushed away from the desk and hesitantly walked into my living room, where Naruto was standing, looking around, he still wasn't use to my house being clean. He smiled at me when he saw me and I gestured for him to sit with me and I waited for the questions to start coming before I started telling him things that maybe he wasn't even interested in hearing. We just looked at each other, he was apparently waiting for me to say something and I was waiting for him to question me, I decided to speak first so we could get this over with as fast as possible.
"So, Naruto, what did you want to know?" I looked at him, as much as I wanted to just spill out the whole story I knew that just telling him everything would be stupid. He blinked at me a few times, thinking about what questions he would ask that would be answered and which ones I probably wouldn't answered. I had no idea what he would come up with to ask me, I realized I failed miserably at making this story seem boring but maybe I had never actually wanted him to give up, either way it didn't matter. He looked like he was thinking really hard, which was a little confusing to me because normally he'd just ask a question without thinking but right now he was putting a lot of thought into his questions, it made me nervous.
I started to mentally yell at myself, I should have just said no one, not some cryptic answer that had him hungry for the story. Eventually he looked at me and I knew he'd decided on his questions and judging from the resolve in his eyes, he wouldn't be leaving until he got the answers. He shifted so he was fully facing me before he asked, which made me berate myself a little more because now I had to look at him while I answered and he would probably see any blatant lie I said.
"Well, I know you don't want to tell me, or anyone, about this guy. So the only question I have right now is why don't you?" He didn't say that in his normal high pitched voice or the eager way and for the first time I realized just how much he'd grown up over the years. He wasn't the same annoying twelve year old I met and hated, he was all grown up and maybe he'd be mature enough to understand the edited story I was going to tell him. Unfortunately, he asked a question I couldn't answer one-hundred percent truthfully so I'd have to change a few things without diverting to much from the truth, vaguely I wondered when he'd gotten so smart.
"Ok..well..it's because he doesn't live here, Naruto. I can't leave to be with him, I don't even know if he still wants to be with me. So I haven't talked about it because there really isn't a point to." I was a little proud of myself, I hadn't lied, I had told a lie of omission, I hadn't told Naruto that it was Itachi I was talking about but I don't think he expected a name anyway.
He nodded, maybe not happy about the lack of information I'd given him but pleased that I'd answered him at all. His bright blue eyes locked with mine, as he asked the next question, "So, how'd you meet him then?" Again, I wondered when he'd gotten so good and interrogation. I had a half-truth that would answer that question, since I couldn't tell him the full truth and I doubted I could make myself out-right lie to him.
I broke the eye contact with him, moving my eyes to the window, I knew he'd pick up on the fact that I wasn't going to tell him the whole truth and some how I knew he wouldn't press me for the whole truth. It wasn't long before I moved my eyes back to his and smiled a little before saying, "You've gotten good at questioning, Naruto." He smirked at me. I shook my head before saying, "Well, I met him on my way home, from my last..mission. I was injured from fighting the men and he took me in and helped me get better. I stayed with him so I could regain my chakra heal my injuries." I saw him giving me a look, one that clearly asked, 'did you sleep with this guy?' I returned the look with a pointed one of my own. "Well..I got feelings for him and it seemed like he had some for me but I knew I couldn't stay with him anymore because I knew people here would be crying over my...death when I was alive. So I came back." I sighed, memories I'd repressed came back, his kiss, touch, smell, taste, everything just hit me. Things I'd forgotten like how he'd laughed at me when I split my drink all over myself, the way he'd glared at every guy who so much as looked at me when we were out, they weren't romantic things but it proved that he cared about me.
Naruto was just looking at me, I guess digesting everything I'd said. I hadn't given him a lot of information but I guess it was enough to satisfy him or maybe he knew I couldn't really give him anymore information. It looked like he understood but I felt compelled so say, "So, you can see how it doesn't matter. I have to stay here, I can't just leave to be with him or if I did I'd become a missing-nin. Hunted, a traitor."
Naruto gave me a sympathetic look, it looked like he was trying to think of something, probably trying to come up with something that would make me feel better but I knew there really wasn't anything he could say. After awhile he said, "Sounds like you've gotten yourself a little bit of drama, Sakura." I looked at him, a smile pulling at my lips. It wasn't long before I started laughing and he soon joined in, I was the only person who could fall in love with a missing-nin while being held hostage by him. I knew this would be the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, if it wasn't happening to me. If this was happening to some other girl, I'd think she was weak for allowing that and tell her that her choice was simple, her village came first and everything else second. I wished it was that easy, I'd spent a great deal of the past months telling myself that this village was more important, that nothing should ever make me question my loyalty to it but one guy brought everything I use to hold dear into question.
After we calmed down, Naruto looked seriously at me and said, "I can't imagine that, if you weren't telling me yourself I wouldn't believe it." He pulled me into a hug before saying, "Maybe you should talk to Tsunade, she might have an idea about all this...." I pushed him away a little so I could look at him, he meant well but I couldn't even picture myself telling the Hokage my fairy-tale like star-crossed lovers story, she'd think I was either crazy or lying through my teeth. Either way I doubted she would just let me leave, to go stay with him or if she did she'd want to know why he couldn't just come here and I knew telling her who he was so far out of the question that it didn't even warrant thought.
I just shook my head and said in a sarcastic voice, "Yeah, I could just walk in and tell her, of course she'd just let me leave to be with some guy she doesn't know." I saw him wince at my tone and I regretted using it, he was just trying to help me, I changed my voice to a softer tone, hiding the bitterness that I felt, "She'd want to help me bring him here and he can't live here anymore then I can become a missing-nin." I smiled at him and he smiled sadly at me, we stayed silent for awhile before he said goodbye and got up and left. I walked over to my window and waved at him as he walked away, I did feel a little better after opening up a little and I knew he'd keep it a secret so I didn't have to worry about my sad little affair all over the village tomorrow.
I thought about his idea, going to the Hokage and all, it sounded crazy and stupid but I wondered if there was a way I could take extended missions or something. I knew it was wishful thinking, there was no way the Hokage or Naruto would ever allow me out of the village by myself again, I was a little angry about that, after all I was a competent ninja but I also knew that they only did it because they cared about me. It wasn't long after Naruto left that I walked into my bedroom and lied down, trying to sleep but as usual, sleep evaded me for several hours and in that time I had an idea. I wondered if I could take missions that would bring me close to his house and that if I couldn't go alone that maybe I get make some new ninja come with me then I could sneak away for a few hours at night, to see Itachi.
It sounded plausible but I knew it would probably sound much different in the morning. I feel asleep hoping that my idea would sound just as good in the morning as it did now, in my sleepy mind. For the first time since I got home I slept soundly. My dreams were full of trees as I ran through them, the sounds of Konoha behind me and the freedom of Itachi in front of me and myself stuck in the middle and not moving, although the threes around me did move. It wasn't a nightmare though, it was like having my life in Konoha filled with the freedom that Itachi offered. When I woke up I ached for to be back in my dream but no matter how hard I couldn't find sleep again.
My idea still sounded reasonable in the light of day, I didn't know how likely it would be that I could get a mission in the area that he lived in or if Itachi would even be there when I got there. Still, I knew even if I got a mission there and managed to see him, it'd only hurt that much more when I left or if he rejected me. After a few more hours of going over the plan, the more I wanted to try it, even if I only did it once, I had to try it. If he rejected me then I could move on knowing that he didn't want me, I would have to spend my days regreting leaving him and regreting my feelings of remorse about leaving him. If he still wanted me, if he was stil there and if he was exactly what my mind told me he was, well, I had no idea what I'd do then. All I knew was that I had to try because if I didn't try and see him, then I spend many more nights wondering about him. That afternoon and walked to the Hokage tower and up to her office without pause, the guards didn't even glance at me this time.
