Joker - now

Joker wasn't the most patient person on normal days but today his patience was wearing especially thin. Shepard had been standing behind him for twenty minutes now without saying a word. She just kept looking out of the window in front of them. Armored arms crossed, hair in a bun, eyes cool and observing, although not always focussed as far as he could tell from her reflection.

He had tried to fill the silence with his own chatter but after a while it became perfectly clear that she had little interest in answering. It wasn't unusal that she was quiet but today the silence seemed heavier than most days. And it drove him crazy.

So much in fact that he even toyed with the idea of talking to her about the big, fat elephant in the room that was still standing between them. It had been weeks since they'd first met again but until now he hadn't been able to work up the nerve to say what needed to be said. He'd tried looking for an apology card but there were surprisingly little "I'm sorry I got you killed" cards out there. Then again, most people were not Commander Shepard and they usually stayed dead.

But even if he were able to be brave enough to say something, he hardly got to see her alone long enough to even open his mouth without worrying someone might be witness to the pitiful monologue he had already mapped out in his mind. They never were alone, not ever. Not on this ship. Even though he already loved the SR2 after a few weeks with her beautiful drive core and comfortable leather seats, he knew that she came with a catch. The catch in this case was an annoying blue orb, hovering next to him like the creepy, stalking Cerberus-AI nightmare it was, ready to report back every word they uttered. So for now he kept his mouth shut and pretended, hard, that everything was alright.

While stealing a glance over his shoulder Joker saw that Shepard's eyes were glued to the space station they were approaching, probably already thinking about the mission and the package they were about to pick up.

"Who the hell needs something picked up on a prison in space anyway," he mumbled while checking the readings before him again, fingers flying over the holo displays. "This is like the shittiest place to store something valuable."

"Or the best," a voice behind him remarked that was definitly not Shepard's. Scratched blue armor came into view. Garrus' eyes were probably on the readings but Joker pushed back that particular annoyance being only too happy someone in the cockpit finally talked to him.

"Yeah, well, forgive me if I don't plan on storing my valuables in a high security prison anytime soon."

"You have valuables?"

"Sure, I have."

"Your porn collection doesn't count."

Joker smirked, opening his mouth with the perfect retort.

"Mr Moreau stores his explicit images on -"

Wonderful. Pun-blocked by the AI again. "Shut up, EDI."

"Very well," the AI said with a tone that might sound sulky if it would come from a human female.

Like one sulking female on this ship isn't bad enough already, he thought, instantly feeling guilty. The female in question was standing behind him next to Garrus, still staring straight ahead. The look on her face showed that she was somewhere else entirely. Where he could only guess.

The last mission a few days ago had been anything but easy if he could believe the people on her ground team. The salarian scientist kept chattering about how fascinating it all was while Garrus was less impressed and more worried by what they had experienced.

On a scale from holy shit to FUBAR Horizon probably reached the same level of fucked up as Eden Prime once did with the tiny difference that nobody died this time. Well, nobody on their team anyway, not counting the civilians in the colony. No matter what Garrus had told him about the stasis pods they had found, Joker had a hard time picturing the collectors taking the colonists with them and actually leaving them alive. Well, he hoped they did but hope was a flimsy thing, not strong enough to bear any weight.

"ETA seven minutes, Commander," EDI supplied helpfully as if anybody had asked. He rolled his eyes. In the corner of his eye he saw Shepard nod and turn around, heading for the armory.

"Airlock in five, Garrus," she said before marching off.

Garrus' eyes followed her as well as Joker's.

"Wow, it's a miracle the windows don't freeze with her nearby," Joker said before turning around.

"The windows -"

"Shut up, EDI."

The blue orb hovered for another second before vanishing without a word. Great, now he had pissed off the AI. Well, that wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass later.

"She probably needs time," Garrus supplied but his mandibles betrayed him.

She probably needs Kaidan, Joker thought more bitter than he'd expected but for once he didn't open his big mouth to give his thoughts a voice. Instead he said: "Or someone to talk to."

With a sigh Garrus crossed his arms, talons of this left tapping on his right arm. "So she doesn't talk to you either?"

Joker snorted. "Of course she doesn't. If anybody had told me on the SR1 that there would be a point at which she talked even less, I'd have laughed."

Another sigh from Garrus. "If would be much easier if Alenko was here. She always talked to him."

"Don't be so sure about that," Joker mumbled, remembering the last time he'd seen the freshly promoted Staff Commander during Shepard's funeral. He hadn't said a word to Joker but he didn't need to. His eyes said everything the pilot needed to know, everything Joker probably thought about himself and worse. It also confirmed his suspicion that there'd been more between the former Lieutenant and the Commander at least from Alenko's side. Nobody looked at someone who got their CO killed the way Kaidan had looked at him that day.

Kaidan had always refused to comment on even being friends with the Commander, hiding behind regs and the bullshit line "marines stick together". Not like Joker ever believed him. Still, gave him lots of munition to tease the biotic, especially after he developed a hilarious foot-in-mouth-problem whenever their CO was near.

"Have you heard anything about him at all?"

Joker snorted. "Yeah, because the Alliance loves to keep their ex-pilotes updated after they joined a terrorist organisation."

"Good point."

"Yeah, whatever. Last thing I heard was that he'd been promoted and put on leave but that was pretty much directly after ... well, you know."

Garrus' mandibles twitched again but he said nothing.

"He dropped off the radar after that. Haven't heard a word from him since."

"Special Ops?"

"Hell, if I know. I only fly the ship." He looked at Garrus and then back through the window. The station was drawing closer and it would only be a matter of minutes until docking. "Whaddaya think you're going to pick up?"

"Hell, if I know. I only shoot the bad guys."

"And people say turians don't have a sense of humor," Jacob commented while suddenly emerging next to Garrus.

"Who told you that?"

"Same person who told me that you took the stick out of your butt to now beat people to death with it."

Before either Joker or Garrus could react to that, Shepard returned from her trip to the armory, probably wearing more weapons than a small army even if most of them were hidden.

"Joker, docking protocol. Jacob, Garrus, with me."

With that she vanished in direction of the airlock. Joker and Garrus shared a last look while Jacob just tailed behind the Commander.

"Good hunting."

"It's only a simple pick up, Joker, not a planned fight against the geth."

"Yeah, like anything involving Shepard ever was that easy. Wherever that woman goes, explosions surely follow."

"I head that," came her reply over the comm. Joker smirked.

"Only speaking the truth, Commander."

"Just dock the ship, Joker."

"Aye-aye, ma'am. You kids have fun out there. Try not to blow the station up."