Chapter 2- Allies And Potential Hostiles


"You cannot be telling me that you actually liked that one!" Kurt crowed, tipping his head back as he laughed.

Sam was sat, leaning on a raised knee, on the sink space. "It's true! I mean, okay, the plot wasn't fantastic, but the acting was good and the cinematography was really nice."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Okay, so you're saying I was good and it was nicely shot, that doesn't make a good movie, Sam."

"It got a screenplay nomination!"

Kurt smirked. "Yeah, at a national guild…that's known for giving random nominations. Trust me, nobody was expecting anything major. It made a profit and that was all the studio wanted."

Sam chuckled. "Must be strange, living your life movie to movie. Script to script. Never really having time to breathe."

Kurt shrugged, banging his feet together idly. "It's strange, sure, shaking off one character only to completely immerse myself in another one. But I'm not going to pretend like it's a chore. It's the most interesting job there is and I wouldn't change it for the world."

Sam frowned. "But you did. You came here. You won't be acting for the next three years."

"Not true," Kurt retorted. "I can do school plays and the musical. I heard you guys did Cabaret last year?"

Sam smiled. "Yeah. I wasn't in it, but it went alright. They had to change the director and the lead so it was postponed, but it was a good show. I have no idea what this year's musical is though. Probably something catered to Rachel's tastes, knowing Mr. Schuester."

Kurt stared blankly. "Am I supposed to know these people…?"

"Sorry! Uh…Mr. Schuester is the director of Glee Club and this year's school musical. He also, for some reason, teaches Spanish class. Do you sing?"

"Me? Sometimes. I don't know about joining Glee Club, if that's what you're getting at."

"I don't blame you. It's not the ideal extra-curricular to maintain your rep, but we have some jocks and cheerleaders."

"You sing?" Kurt's eyes seemed to brighten, but for only a second. Long enough for Sam to catch, though.

"Yeah. I'm not the best vocalist in there, but I assist with guitar backing and do some duets and stuff. It's fun. Different than football."

"I'll say."

Sam tapped against the sink. "Have you thought about extra-curricular?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "I considered something academic, like French Club or something, but I also want to do the performing arts stuff. I noticed the Drama Club got disbanded but there's still a musical? I didn't realised that was a thing, so I'll probably do the play and musical this year."

"Sports?"

Kurt shrugged once more. "Not for me. Well, maybe cheerleading. Though I'm not sure about having all the extra attention drawn to me at pep rallies."

Sam smiled kindly. "Not to poke holes in your strategy or whatever, but you're gonna get noticed everywhere you go. Maybe by March people will get used to you as a normal person, but it's going to be pretty crazy for a while. The last girl had to move and she only looked like Leighton Meester. But, like I said, I'll teach you the ins and the outs of what to do and what to avoid."

"Maybe bumping into you wasn't the worst thing to happen to me so far."

"It was entirely your pleasure," Sam rebutted, smirking. "People should be gone by now if you want to get started with our tour?" Sam offered his hand.

Kurt laughed as he took it, jumping down from the sink. "Yes, Mr. Tour Guide, I'd love to."


As Kurt and Sam exited the bathroom, they didn't get far before…

"KURT HUMMEL!"

Kurt turned to his right as a body almost crashed into him.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Oh god."

Kurt frowned as the girl in front of him began to speak.

"Kurt Hummel, my name is Rachel Barbra Berry and I'm a sophomore just like you and I'd really love to take today and possibly even this week to brainstorm some possible ideas with you that I think you'll really be interested in. We can meet at my house or in the auditorium each night because what I have to tell you and show you is of utmost importance and if you don't hear me out you'll really missing out on an opportunity that's going to blow you away. Hi Sam."

Kurt's eyes widened. "I don't know what just happened."

Sam sighed. "Kurt, this is Rachel Berry, co-captain of the Glee Club."

Rachel frowned angrily. "Sam, I'm not merely just co-captain of the Glee Club! You're missing out the fact that I am the president of several club and a member of every single society, group, club or union that this school has to offer."

Kurt put a hand up slowly. "Isn't there a black student union at this school?"

Rachel beamed. "I'm more of an ally. One of my two gay dads is black."

Kurt raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Two dads? In Ohio?"

Rachel nodded as Sam rolled his eyes. "It's a most challenging obstacle. Having two fathers is not generally seen as the norm here at McKinley. As well as my Jewish nose, it's one of the things that ostracises me here. Though I don't let that stop me, I'm merely channel it into my singing, dancing and acting, all of which I've been doing since the age of one. I have medals and trophies and plaques to commemorate all of my achievements thus far. You're more than welcome to come over to my house one night after school and look at them!"

Kurt paused. "I don't know whether I'm being hit on or pitched to."

Rachel giggled falsely. "Oh, you're funny! Don't worry, I know that you're not interested in women otherwise we'd totally be dating and be the power couple that Finn and Quinn could never be and the rule the school with an iron fist! Also I have a boyfriend, his name is Jesse and you two should meet sometime. As for the pitch, think of this as more of a character introduction. As we traverse our journey through the years of high school, we'll only become better friends and together we can work on my career into the industry."

Kurt sighed. "So this is just a business pitch? Let me guess, you want my industry contacts?"

Rachel pretended to be shocked. "Oh, goodness, no! Though if you're offering them, who am I to decline?" She batted her eyelashes comically.

Kurt turned to Sam. "Can we go? Or will she follow us?"

Sam smirked. "Rachel, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be in class right now. I remember because you talked at me once for ten minutes about Mrs. Davis' monotonous roll call system."

Rachel gritted her teeth. "That's because it's ludicrously long and I could shorten her time by fifty percent if she'd just let me." She turned back to Kurt. "Just one example of how efficient and forward thinking I am."

"I'm an actor, Rachel, not an inventor. Look, you seem…ambitious. And that's good! But I just want to have a normal time at high school. Is that too much to ask for?"

Rachel opened her mouth and closed it. "Of course not. Though…an autograph?"

Kurt laughed, sighing. "Sure. Do you have a—."

By the time Kurt had thought about it, Rachel had brandished a pen and notebook for Kurt to sign. Scribbling his signature, Kurt smiled politely at her.

"Thank you! My dads are going to freak out!"

Rachel scurried away, bursting through the nearby doors.

"That was the most intense thing I've ever been a part of. And I've shot a suicide scene."

Sam whistled. "That's Rachel…she's the most driven yet irritating person I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, she's very talented, she just knows it way too much."

Kurt nodded. "Been there. Is she going to cause problems should I join Glee Club?"

Sam smiled widely. "So you're thinking about it?"

Kurt pursed his lips. "I might be…"

"Take the day to think about it. There's a meeting after school, you could audition then if you've decided?"

"Sounds good to me. Where shall we see first?"

Sam led Kurt around the school at a good pace, Kurt committing everything to his admittedly superior memory. Sam showed Kurt the interior, telling him the various shortcuts to cross-campus classes before leading him to the exterior. They walked around the courtyard, the coffee cart and the football field before Sam realised people were going to be emerging from their classes at any given moment.

"Where are you now?"

"Bio, where are you?" Kurt asked, hopefully.

"Physics. My worst class. Don't worry, though, there are some good people in Bio. Look for Santana, she'll do right by you. She'll be the one sitting with her feet up in the cheerleading outfit looking mildly unimpressed by the entire world. You can't miss her. Though she might walk in late…"

Kurt nodded. "Santana…good, okay. If that fails?"

"I suggest Tina. She's always on time. Gothic look, stripes of dye in her hair, probably wearing some type of beanie."

"Santana and Tina, thanks, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "Hey, no problem. The least I can do after you gave me The Fall Of The Night."

Kurt gaped. "You did not…I was nine!"

"You kicked ass, Kurt! I loved the original and you made sure the reboot didn't suck."

"I'm glad I can help…"

"Come on, I'll walk you to class."

As Kurt and Sam slipped inside the school, they still had some time before classes ended.

"Are people going to talk about this?"

"I'm not following," Sam frowned back.

"This. You and me. From what I know, people aren't used to the idea of a gay guy being friends with a straight guy. At least that's what it's like in movies."

Sam opened his mouth to say something, then thought against it. "Uh…no. Well, maybe. But it won't be bad, you're too famous. I doubt you'll get any backlash around here for being gay. If you do, well, I'm sure you can handle it. You took down that reporter last year pretty damn fine all on your own."

"Do you have a Google alert on me?"

Sam said nothing.

"Oh my god, you do! That's so cute!"

Sam blushed. As he did, the bell rang. "Shut up and go to class. I'll meet you out here afterwards, okay?"

Kurt smirked. "Sure. Thank you. See you after."

Sam waved shortly and walked away, looking back only once.

Kurt leant back against the wall and sighed. "Boy, am I in trouble…"

The door near him opened widely as students rushed out in their multitudes. Kurt turned his face quickly to the wall, whipping out his phone and pretending to text. A shadow appeared next to him.

"Nice save, but I'd know that posture anywhere."

Kurt's eyes flickered up, smart enough to not turn around while the footsteps pounded against the floor behind him.

"Good, you know how to evade them. You might make it through the day. Let's get to the back of the class. That's where I usually sit anyway. I'm going to put my arm around you now. People will be too busy staring at my ass to even notice you."

Kurt chuckled. "Good to know."

The girl nudged him into the classroom and guided him to the back of the class. Looking up, Kurt saw that it was empty. The teacher wasn't even around yet. The girl pushed him gently into a seat. Kurt turned to her.

"Cheerleading outfit…vaguely displeased expression…am I right in thinking you're Santana?"

Santana grinned. "Looks like I'm even more famous than you, Hummel. But you're right. Santana Lopez, the pleasure is entirely yours."

Kurt blinked, remembering Sam's similar words. These people were proud of who they were. Kurt liked that. After being around insecure actresses and doubtful directors all the time, it was nice to know that people were going to be confident around him. Confidence instilled confidence, he rather thought.

"Kurt. Obviously you seem to know this."

"Duh, only a woodland creature wouldn't know who you are. Look, let's cut to the chase. You're rich, famous and hot and I'm a ruthless bitch who wants nothing more than to see people unhappy. We're going to be best friends so you might as well roll with it."

"I've already had one obsessed fan hit me with information today, I don't need any more."

Santana smirked. "From what I can gather, you met Rachel today."

Kurt chuckled. "The Berry same."

Santana licked her lips. "Interesting. I hope you tore her apart."

Kurt shrugged. "I gave her an autograph and asked her to leave."

"Not bad, DiCaprio, but you have to lot to learn. I noticed Sammy lurking, is he bothering you?"

"Are you my new security guard?"

"You didn't answer the question."

Kurt blushed.

"Ah. So that's how it is. Yep, Sam is fine. He'll do very nicely on your arm. His hair colour and skin tone discordantly complements mine perfectly."

Kurt leaned back. "You seem to think your place in my life is confirmed. Do I not get a say in this?"

Santana put her feet up on the desk. "Listen, Kurt, I've seen your press interviews and I know that's not the real you. In the spotlight, you're the biggest wallflower I ever saw. You trashing that pap guy was the real Kurt Hummel and I want to bring him out of his cage."

Kurt gaped. "Does this entire school have me on Google Alert?"

"They do now," Santana replied. "Being seen with me will increase your standing higher than you thought possible."

"Santana…I don't want more attention. Hollywood is bad enough with that shit. I just want to graduate in one piece."

"And you will. But these first few weeks are going to be a bloodbath. In order to survive, you're going to have to trust me. Follow my lead at all times. Whatever Sam tells you to do, you consult me first."

"Well he told me to look for you, are you saying his advice was misguided?"

"Touché," Santana smiled. "Looks like Sammy isn't so clueless after all. But despite what people will tell you, I'm top dog around here. It may look like it's Quinn Fabray, but I'm pretty much her life coach so whatever she does, I'm pulling the strings."

"You talk more than Rachel Berry."

"Zip it, Gosling. All you need to know is that I'm going to exploit you for your celebrity standing. I can get there on the back of my talent and my smoking body. I don't say this a lot, but I genuinely want to be your friend. I can point you to the people who are going to want the same thing and lead you away from any missteps. All you have to do is learn to trust me."

"So you're my life coach now? Excellent, I have a dilemma."

"What's that?"

"Joining Glee Club."

Santana shrugged. "Well, hit me with your pros and cons."

Kurt smiled, nodding. "Pros: I like to sing and it could give me more opportunities to do it. Cons: I think Rachel might get in my way and, honestly, the less time I have to spend with her the better."

Santana nodded as people started to file in. The whispers began immediately. "All I'm gonna say is that Rachel Berry is not a big deal. She's easily manageable, even Sam could take her down. If you genuinely want to join, then do it. Plus, I'm in there."

"You don't strike me as the Glee Club type."

"Oh honey, I'm not anything's type."

"A woman after my own heart," Kurt grinned, clutching at his chest dramatically.

"It's really him!" Someone whispered.

Santana leaned over. "Sorry, but your life's about to get a lot more cluttered once people realise you're here."

Kurt rubbed his hands together. "Bring it on."