Chapter Two: Forever

Leah's POV

Some days, like today, she caught herself staring down at her left hand.

There it was, proof. A princess-cut diamond set in a 14-karat white gold band of proof; proof that Sam Uley loved her; proof of his promise to love her forever.

When it happened, she was someplace completely mundane, running an errand she could do in her sleep. Last week she was in line at the grocery store, this weekend, pumping gas into her brand-new silver Honda Accord (an engagement present from Sam).

It started off as a simple glance at her hand, a "Holy shit, I forgot how huge that thing is." She'd flex her fingers and watch as the diamond caught the light. And as it erupted into a kaleidoscope of glaring brightness, she'd blink.

Then it happened.

She'd be in the same Forks grocery, standing in the same line, tiny crows-feet spreading out from her dark hazel eyes. Sam would be beside her, his hand on her neck, talking about what she would be making for dinner that night. A slow, dark panic would start to spread throughout her chest, a heaviness in her heart she would try to push out.

But then she'd be pumping gas at the gas station she'd been using her whole life, the one on the corner of Bayview and 6th with the peeling blue and white paint. But now instead of her Honda, she'd be driving a minivan. A look into the back seats would show her faceless toddlers with sticky hands and running noses. They'd be screaming at each other, throwing their sippy cups and crying for their mama. Gold fish crackers would be crushed into the grey carpet, cold french fries wedged between belt buckles. She'd glance down and notice herself wearing an old t-shirt of Sam's and cheap black stretch pants, the diamond still glowing on her left ring finger.

"Mama, mama!" Their cries surrounded her.

By now, the panic was full-blown. If only she could wake up, if only she could take a breath. Oxygen felt like prize, one she couldn't obtain.

The white-gold band of proof tightened around her finger.

"Lee-Lee, baby. Are you okay? You look pale." She snapped out of her reverie, quickly shoving her left hand into the back pocket of her jeans.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she raked her free hand through the thick, dark waves of her hair then gestured at the room of flowers. "It's just overwhelming. There's so many of them." She tried to laugh, but it came out like a cough.

They were in a florist shop in Port Angeles, choosing arrangements for their wedding in three weeks. The owner of the shop, Gretchen, was in her 40's with a thick southern accent, flaming red hair that was too bright to be natural, and skin that had been tanned a deep leathery brown. The shop was void of customers besides Sam and Leah, so she hovered over the couple like a vulture, circling them until she could make a sale.

Sam gave Leah a warm smile, then lowered his voice. "They're just flowers, Lee. No one's going to notice them anyway when they see you walking down that aisle."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "You're going to be the most beautiful bride Clallam County has ever seen." His lips met hers in a soft kiss.

Gretchen cleared her throat.

Leah broke the kiss and took a step back, glancing at Gretchen who had her lips pursed, as though she had been assessing the interaction.

"I think I've got the perfect thing for you two lovebirds," she remarked. "Come with me."

Sam linked hands with Leah and they followed the petite red-head through the maze of blossoming bouquets.

Thank God. They had been there for over an hour and the smell was beginning to get to her. She had no idea how difficult it would be to color-coordinate the flowers to the bridesmaids dresses, purchase enough arrangements to fill the venue, and create an elaborate bouquet for herself to carry down the aisle. The possibilities were pouring from Gretchen's mouth and into her head like a whirlpool of colorful petals and overwhelming perfume, it was making her dizzy.

The red-head lead them to the back of the shop where they stopped in front of a display of exotic-looking flowers. They had long stems and plum petals that folded into a funnel-like bloom.

She had to do a double-take. They look like fuckin' vaginas.

Sam raised his eyebrows and smirked. He saw the resemblance too. The shared observation made her smile.

See, Sam and I are perfect together. We look at flowers and see genitalia. If that's not soul mate status then I don't know what is...

Interpreting her expression as interest, Gretchen started spewing off information. "They're burgundy calla lilies. They'd go great with these purple carnations we have over here." She gestured toward the other side of the store with a manicured-tipped hand.

Sam's phone vibrated in his pocket. He looked at the screen.

"Damn service. My phone's been acting weird all day. Somehow I missed a call, whoever it was left a voicemail though. I'm going to go check it, it might be work." He gave Leah a quick kiss on the cheek, and whispered in her ear, "Let's not have vagina flowers at our wedding." Leah chuckled, then watched as he weaved through the aisles of bouquets. The shop's door dinged as he left the building.

Gretchen gave Leah a calculating stare. "Calla lilies are used in weddings and funerals."

Leah inclined her head in an attempt to feign interest. The stranger seemed almost angry...It was odd and Leah wanted to appease her.

"That's...interesting."

"It's their exotic beauty that is most appealing. People take one look and are intrigued. You see," she reached for one of the deep plum flowers and gently removed it from the stand. "Their blooms aren't petals, they're leaves. They are actually quite deceiving, they're not what they appear. They lure individuals in with their distinct appearance, but if one were to ingest any of its elements, he or she would get quite sick and possibly die."

Leah stayed quiet. The incident earlier- the images, the panic- it had left a dark, sticky residue inside her. The combination of Gretchen's intensity with the pungent aromas of all the various flowers were beginning to unnerve her. She glanced back at the door wondering what was taking Sam.

Gretchen placed the flower back into its bouquet. "You're lucky. You're so lucky and you don't even know it." Her voice was cold steel, her words reverberating through the empty shop. "I married someone like you once. I was young and he was handsome. I would have done anything that man would have asked of me." Her voice was filled with such certainty, such clarity. "He had me wrapped around his finger. But, he didn't actually love me. Not the kind of love I gave, not the kind of love I deserved in a husband. He was just with me for... well, not for the money, I can tell you that." She barked out a humorless laugh and gestured at the lack of customers in the shop. "For comfort I suppose. He felt comfortable with me. I was a safe bet. I would have done anything for him, I never would have hurt him the way he hurt me." Her voice was soft in the end, her eyes looking into a past Leah couldn't see. There was a hardness to the woman's mouth, a shadow of a broken heart.

"I love Sam," Leah choked. She felt the sudden urge to defend herself. She wasn't like this man who had broken Gretchen, left her calloused and scarred.

What did Gretchen think she saw in her? If this stranger could see something not right about her, could Sam? The thought of him noticing her- what? What was it she had? Cold feet?- made her head spin and her throat thicken.

I love Sam. I do. I do...

Gretchen nailed Leah with her icy blue stare. "You might love him, but it's obvious you don't want to spend the rest of your life with him. So either you get your shit together or you let him go and find a woman who actually deserves him."

Her words cut through Leah. She staggered away from the red-head and her flowers with leaves instead of petals.

Her voice came out hoarse as she grasped for words. "You know, I think we're going to shop around... Than-thanks for all your...help."

She let the door slam shut behind her, the bell echoing behind her.

By the time they got home it was close to midnight. They had had dinner at her mothers as was tradition on Sunday nights. After they had finished eating, they discussed the wedding, which seemed to be the only topic up for discussion since the engagement. Leah had elaborated on all the last minute wedding preparations she still had to do, hoping Sue would offer to help. She did. And now flower arrangements were no longer Leah's problem. She was thankful that she wouldn't have to see that witch, Gretchen, again or be bombarded with all those nauseating floral scents.

As she unlocked the door and walked over to the kitchen, she tried to push Gretchen's piercing blue eyes and spiteful words out of her head.

She leaned over to the counter to place her keys on the hook when she was pressed against the cool tile.

"You know how hot it gets me thinking about marrying you?"

She could feel his erection pressing into her lower back.

She bit her lower lip. "You're not scared at all?" Please God, tell me you're seeing our future in grocery stores and gas stations. Tell me you're freaking the fuck out. Please tell me I'm not crazy.

He had pulled her hair back to expose her long, carmel neck and drug his tongue from the slope of her shoulder up to her ear.

Unfff, she loved that.

A moan escaped her mouth.

"Nope, none." His voice was muffled against her skin. The rush of his hot breath sent shivers down her spine.

"The thought of spending the rest of my life with you makes me so hard, Lee. Fuck." He thrusted against her, pressing the evidence into her lower back- the evidence, the proof of his attraction, his devotion, his commitment. "It's going to be me and you, forever."

Forever.

And there it was, the heaviness. Black panic flared inside her gut, spreading it's hot sticky fear up into her chest.

Oh, fuck. No, no. Not now. She pleaded.

Spinning around, she pressed her lips against his.

She tugged at his pants, ripping the zipper open and yanking them off his hips. Breaking the kiss, she pulled her top over her head and threw it into the kitchen, then pulled herself onto the countertop. "Take me, Sam."

His eyes were black with lust. His thick cock twitched visibly.

"Let's go to the bedroom."

Of course. She tried not to look disappointed. That was the thing with Sam. She could surprise him buck-naked on the dinning room table, dripping wet, begging for him to ravage her body, and he'd still want to go to the bedroom.

He's a gentleman, she reasoned. But for Christ's sake, it's not like I'm asking him to tie me up and whip me. Her pussy throbbed at the idea.

She hopped off the counter and began walking back to the bedroom, discarding pieces of her clothing on the way. She didn't like how close the darkness loomed, just on the outskirts of her thoughts, ready to sweep in and consume her.

When she reached the bedroom, she laid back on the bed. Sam came in naked. He seemed to have picked up on the fact that she wasn't fucking around. She wanted him now.

He crawled on top of her, sliding into her easily.

It was as though her cunt had molded to the shape of him, it had been so long since she'd been with anyone else... the thought made her heart clench.

She spread her legs, positioning herself so she could get a good footing and meet his thrusts.

The young, wild part of her- the part she had spent the last two years trying to suppress, wanted to come. It wanted her to get lost in the sheets, arch her naked body into the air, and come. She wanted to forget her name, to scratch her nails along Sam's back, bite his neck, scream as though they didn't have any neighbors, and come.

But it hadn't happened in months and it wasn't going to happen tonight.

Tonight all she needed was to forget, all she needed was for Sam to make the darkness go away. The young, wild part of her could go to town with her dildo tomorrow while Sam was at work.

His face was buried in her neck, his breath hot against her skin. His thrusting had begun to lose its rhythm and his hips bucked chaotically against hers.

She squeezed her eyes shut, clutching at his shoulders. She clenched herself around him and let out a moan, hoping it was enough to convince him that she had orgasmed.

One last plunge and he erupted with a grunt.

Kissing her cheek, he rolled off of her.

They lay side by side, Sam breathing heavily beside her.

"You're so fucking sexy, do you know that?"

She gave him a sideways glance and her best smirk.

He leaned over and gave her a deep kiss, then got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

She listened as he turned on the sink and began to brush his teeth.

She lifted up her hand and looked at the ring, being careful not to gaze too deeply, then glanced over at the open bathroom door. Sam was standing shirtless in his low-slung sweats in front of the sink, gargling mouth wash. He looked over at her and smiled, some of the blue liquid spilling out over his lips.

She laughed, genuinely laughed.

What am I thinking? Sam is my high school sweetheart. He knows me better than almost anyone. He makes me laugh, he's sexy, he's kind, has a great job, buys me presents...We'll be happy together. He'll never leave me...

She heard Sam spit and the water turn off.

"Oh hey, baby. I forgot to tell you earlier- we left the flower shop in such a hurry- I got a voicemail from Jake this morning."

Jake. Her heart seized.

"He's in Denver, but he headed out today. He's coming to our wedding."

He turned off the bathroom light and walked over to the bed.

"I asked him to be my best man and he said yes." His voice was filled with such affection, such hope, such happiness. She didn't know what to feel. She hated herself for feeling anything at all.

"What about Paul? I thought Paul was going to be your best man. What are you going to tell him?"

"I know, I feel like such a dick about that. But Paul will get it. We were all so close growing up and Paul knows how Jake and I are practically brothers. I honestly didn't know if I could get ahold of him, but Billy gave me his most recent number and I left a message and he called me back. I think he might still be with Bella Swan. He asked if he could bring a plus one, so I'm assuming that's who it's for." He looked over at her as he got under the covers. "Baby, are you okay? You're shaking."

She absentmindedly looked up at him. "Oh yeah, I'm just exhausted. All this wedding planning, you know." She forced a smile. "I'm so happy for you, Sam. I know how much he...Jake...means to you." Her voice caught on his name, as though her tongue wanted to hold it there. She hadn't said it out loud in two years.

Sam looked down at her, his eyes warm and soft. They matched his voice. "It's going to be the best day of my life."

She remained still as he leaned over to switch off the lamp, planting one last kiss on her lips.

It didn't take long for his faint snore to fill the room.

Then it was just her and the darkness, the ring heavy on her finger and Jake's name on her lips.


Author's Note:

Hello loves,

I cannot believe how long this chapter ended up being. But it was important for me to write about Leah's relationship with Sam and for you all to see their dynamic. Our poor Leah is a conflicted soul. She loves Sam, but is it REAL, PASSIONATE, UNDYING love? Or is it safe, friendly, comfortable love? Is one really better than the other? There are parts of Sam that Leah loves and that make them compatible, but something is off. Which is evident by her "cold feet." Poor thing isn't only suffering from anxiety about the whole Sam and forever business, but she's also sexually frustrated and obviously still hung up on Jake, who left behind some broken bits in her when he left two years ago. (ARE YOU GUYS DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM!?)

Next chapter...Jake's return to La Push! Unfortunately, with Bella... And there will definitely be a run-in between our two favorite characters.

Do you have a preference for Jacob POV or Leah's so far? Or do you like the switch on and off? Let me know!

xxExtremeWaysxx