Ch. 2
The old playground is deserted and has been for some time. It is full of leaves and most of the equipment is almost completely rusted. In the past, all the kids in the neighborhood used to hang out here. That was until the town built a new playground in a supposedly nicer area of the town. Quite frankly, I think they just wanted to spend money. There is nothing wrong with this part of town. It's actually a very nice and charming small development of suburbs. It's quiet and not too big, and it's close enough to the city that Lucy doesn't die from being away from a major shopping area.
Once we arrive, Sean and Greg immediately run to the old carousel. They jump on it and it creaks under their weight. They begin running and jumping on the spinning platform of rusted metal.
Tom and I make our way over to the swing set. I sit myself in one swing while Tom sits in the one next to me. Jimmy and Lucy take the next pair. A slight breeze makes the autumn air chilly and I shiver. "Hey, you want my jacket?" Tom offers.
I shift my eyes look at him. "Sure."
He slips off his letterman jacket and hands it to me. I take it and pull it around my shoulders. It's warm from his body heat and it feels good, cozy even. I push off the ground a little in my swing. The chains creak in protest. I sigh remembering the better days of the past, back when things weren't so complicated.
It is not until a moment later, I notice that Tom has been staring at me. "What?"
"You're just so beautiful, you know that?" he answers.
I give him a little smile even though deep inside I want to get sick. It's not that I don't like Tom, he's a very good-looking and sweet guy, but it's just when he always shows affection toward me whenever Lucy is around, it just breaks my heart. He keeps saying and doing things like this, pushing, thinking it'll help me hurry up and make a decision about him, but in reality I think it does more harm than good. Pressuring me isn't going to help anything. "Thank you," I manage.
He stands up out of his swing, steps in front of me, and offers me his hand. I place one of my own in his and he easily pulls me out of my swing and onto my feet. I don't have time to react before he wraps his arms around me and kisses my lips so tenderly, so lovingly… I feel absolutely disgusted with myself that I can't return these feelings. "I love you, Angel," he says softly.
I almost miss hearing Lucy's little snort of disgust and disapproval. I shake my head and begin walking to the other side of the playground, away from the swings. Tom follows me and I find myself resenting it. "Don't let her bother you," he says.
"She doesn't bother me," I correct feeling my agitation building. Him making it seem as if I don't know my best friend when in fact, I know her a whole lot more than he ever will, just really grates on me.
"Then why are we-"
I turn back to face him, almost running into him. "Because I think about her feelings," I say quietly trying to keep my anger from boiling over. That is the last thing we need.
"What are you talking about?"
I gawk at him.
He hesitates. He knows this is something he should know.
"Tom!"
"I'm sorry, okay?"
I let out a long breath of frustration.
"I thought she would've gotten over it by now," Tom explains looking back at Lucy. "I mean I did." He turns his gaze back to me with a grin.
I shake my head.
"What?"
"You don't give any thought to the consequences of your actions until after something major happens, Tom. Then you say 'I'm sorry'."
He sighs looking at the ground. He knows I'm right. What happened earlier today when he was bugging me about going out with him and it brought Doyle into the mix is a perfect example. He's known Doyle is one of the reasons I won't go out with him but he was too caught up in his own personal agenda that he didn't give any thought to that. He just doesn't think, and sometimes I can forgive him for it because it's kind of who he is, unconscious of those around him. Other times such as this, it's very hard to overlook his flaw. He means well, I just wish he would use his brain more.
"Listen, it just didn't work out with us, Angel. Yes, I will admit that it was good while it lasted, but things just began falling apart, you know? They became too complicated and it got to where we fought all the time over every little thing. I just wanted out."
"She still cares a lot for you," I say.
"I still care a lot for her, too, just not in that way anymore."
I nod quietly trying to understand why. He and Lucy were a pretty hot couple and other than the fighting, I'm not sure how or why he ever let her go. Lucy's beautiful. She's got the small, pixie-like face with long lashes over her stunning blue eyes, an adorable little nose that Tom always loved, alluring lips, the gorgeous long, curly blonde hair that I've always been a little jealous of, a great figure, and all the confidence to go with this entire package. A lot of people get the wrong impression about her because she's always worrying about superficial things like how she looks. They think she's a snob, a brat, a bimbo, among a few other unmentionable things. She can be prissy and she's not the most observant person, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be. They just don't know her and some girls see her as competition and they don't like that. She's a great friend though. We can tell each other everything and trust each other fully. She probably would've talked to me more about the breakup if Tom hadn't professed his love to me just days after it happened.
"So that's the other reason you won't go out with me: Lucy and, well, you know."
"Lucy is still in love with you and I don't want to give her more pain than she already has. I can't do that to my best friend."
We stand there in silence for a moment. Then, Tom turns his soft gaze to me. "I just fell for you," he says quietly. "Lucy and I broke up and one day you just happened to catch my eye. It was like my world opened up. Look, I love you, Angel, and I'm not going to give up on trying to make this work. I get that you need time, but-"
I sigh. "No, stop. Please, just stop. Tom, she cried, bawled her eyes out when she found out that you liked me and knew that there was a possibility we could get together. It just really complicates things and makes them awkward. It's hard for us all. Greg and Sean don't care for the drama. They prefer we get over this whole thing."
Another moment of silence makes itself present and I watch as another breeze makes a few leaves tumble across the playground.
"Well, is it so wrong to be with someone you like?" he ejects suddenly. "I wish I'd never been involved with Lucy," he says kicking at the gravel.
"You don't mean that-"
"Yes, I do mean it! If we'd never been together, then things wouldn't be this way."
"It wouldn't change anything, Tom!"
"And you know that for certain?"
I stay quiet not wanting to start getting into hypothetical situations -anything can happen there and I know some unforgivable things would be said- and hoping the high emotions will have a bit of time to recede. I soon get my answer. "I mean I just hate having to feel bad for the choice I made. Shouldn't she be happy that I'm happy or want to be anyway?"
"Tom, it's the situation-"
"Tom, it's the situation," he mocks. "Man, just forget it. If you don't want to be with me, then fine, don't be with me."
He turns and walks away back to his car. I sigh yet again. There's no way he's going to make me feel guilty about this. His selfish wants are getting in the way of his judgment. I just wish he would learn that it's not all about him. He says he understands what I'm going through, but his actions speak otherwise. I watch as Tom gets into his car. I know this is the end of our little field trip. "Okay, guys," I call. "It's time to head out."
"Aw, really?" Sean whines as I make my way past the carousel. I see him glance at Tom in his car. "Is Tom in a bad mood?"
"Let's just go, okay?"
"That would be a 'yes'," Greg confirms jumping off the carousel.
"Wait," Sean protests still spinning slowly. "I want to see how fast this thing will go."
"With its condition," Greg notes. "It'll probably fly off into space with you on it."
"Dude that would be awesome!"
I stop walking and turn back to face the two boys. Jimmy walks up to stand beside me. "Okay," I sigh. "But hurry."
"Greg, spin me," Sean orders.
Greg, Sean's keeper and forever loyal partner in crime, jogs back over and grabs one of the metal handles. He runs with the carousel a few times and then stops, grabs a handle and forces it even faster. Eventually, he has it going pretty fast; fast enough I actually start to think it will fly off into space with Sean on it. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing…
Tom honks the car horn and we realize we should get going. Sean then thinks it will be a good idea to jump off the carousel while it's at its near top speed. When no one objects, he jumps. Like a cat, he lands perfectly on his feet, not wobbling or anything as we walk back to the car. On our way back home, though, is when it hits. "Oh," he groans. "I think I'm gonna puke."
"Not in my car you're not," Tom says sternly looking at him critically in the rear-view mirror.
"And not when you're next to me," Lucy adds. "I don't want your chunks all over my lap."
"I'll try and humor you, Lucy," he says leaning his head back.
I sit up front between Tom and Jimmy and find myself busy staring straight out the window. I shift my gaze to Tom when I feel his hand on my knee, but he is concentrating on the road. I know it's his way of apologizing for earlier. I stare back outside.
We arrive back at my house to discover that my parents are home. Both of their cars are in the garage. The crew follows me inside the house each getting more kisses from Max. A familiar scent tickles my nose as I draw close to the kitchen. It is mouth-watering, tangy, delicious, and it bothers me that I can't place what it is. "Angelina?" my mother calls from the kitchen. "Is that you?"
"Yes," I call back, leading the group into the den. "It's me and then some."
I see my father sitting in his favorite recliner reading the newspaper. "Hello, Angie," he greets.
"Hi, Dad," I reply.
My mother walks into the room with her dark red hair up in a perfect bun and a wooden spoon that is covered with marinara sauce. Now I realize what is cooking, but the word for the dish won't come to mind. That bothers me more. "Oh, so you're all here?" my mother beams. "That's good. So, what have you guys been up to?"
"We went to the old playground," Greg decides to announce as he, Sean, and Lucy take their usual spot on the couch. Jimmy takes his place in a chair in the corner of the room. Tom and I stand.
"You know that's not a safe place to be," Mom scolds softly.
"They're pretty safe when they're in a group the size of theirs," Dad notes.
"Well, I'd just prefer if they didn't hang out around there. Anyway, why don't you all stay for dinner?"
"We wouldn't want to intrude," Tom responds putting an arm around me.
"No, you wouldn't be intruding at all! I love having company over, especially you guys."
"Thank you, Mrs. Bennington."
"Of course," Mom says lightheartedly as she sashays back into the kitchen.
'What are we having for dinner?" I finally ask annoyed that I have yet to think of the word I'm looking for.
"Spaghetti with either meatballs or chicken with your choice of marinara or Alfredo sauce, breadsticks, and salad," she answers from the kitchen.
I smile at the fact we are having my favorite meal. Then, I look at Lucy. She has her compact right up to her face, pretending to fix her eye makeup. "Excuse us," I say slipping away from Tom. "I have a shirt I need to return to Lucy. Lucy, why don't you come and make sure this is the one?"
Lucy looks at me warily and responds in the same tone. "Okay." She slowly gets up from the couch and follows me upstairs and into my room. I close the door behind us, turn around and look at her. "Are you okay?"
As she leans against one of the posts of my bed, she's looks at me in a way that hints she thinks this is the most ridiculous question I could have ever asked. "What are you talking about? I'm fine."
Of course she would deny it. I know as well as everyone in the group the rule that none of us ever talk about, but we just know: we don't talk about the tension, no matter how bad it gets. We deny it's there even though it's completely obvious. It's like trying to read a book at a rock concert. Lucy and I both know we can tell each other anything. We have the bond of best friends, but obviously that isn't as strong as the unspoken rule.
"So, there isn't a shirt I need to get, is there?" she asks though she already knows the answer.
"No," I admit.
"Oh, okay, then I'll just go back down-"
"No! Wait, just wait."
"Angie, what is it?"
I stand there for a moment just looking at her. I just want so badly to explode with all of this stupid stuff we've put on ourselves. I want so badly to just express everything and release the pain and hurt to her because I know she understands. I simply cannot though. "Nothing. Nevermind."
"Okay, good, because you're kind of creeping me out."
"Sorry. Hey, tomorrow's Friday. How about you stay over tomorrow night?" I offer.
"That could be good. I like the sound of that."
"We just need to check it with my mom."
She nods and we make our way back downstairs. Music flows from our entertainment system. I recognize it as Tom's mixed CD of mostly Maroon 5. He's a huge Maroon 5 fan as am I. In fact, the whole gang is. They are all helping set the large oak table in the dining room and are singing along when She Will Be Loved starts playing. I help mom bring the food out and place it on the table. Mom tells us to wait for just a few more minutes and then we can eat.
The gang goes ahead and takes their seats at the table, but Tom decides he wants to dance and pulls me to him. I give him a warning look, but he simply smiles at me. "Come on, loosen up, girl."
I roll my eyes and give in. We quickly fall into the familiar flow of Sunday Morning. Our steps are perfect. Our movements are fluid and crisp. Tom sings softly along as he slides his hands lightly onto my hips and brings me closer to him. Oh, how he can push his limits…
I smoothly turn from his grasp to try and gain some space between us, but he just pulls me right back and he is dancing with my back to him. I want to be frustrated, but I find myself starting to laugh instead. He easily turns me back around to face him as the song ends and stands there looking down at me. "See, you can have fun if you let yourself," he says. "We haven't done this in a while."
"Yeah, I know," I respond as my mind goes down Memory Lane. The gang used to always take turns hosting a dance party on the weekend and it would just be the gang, all of us friends. There would be pizza, soda, candy, cake, music, and lots of dancing. It was always a lot of fun. I lose myself as thoughts of Doyle make their way into my mind. It felt so nice to dance with him, being close together, having no worries…
"Earth to Angel," Tom says interrupting my thoughts.
"Sorry, I just got lost in my head."
He nods at me seeming to understand where exactly my thoughts were. I look past him as Mom gets everyone's drinks. "Tom, what would you like?" she asks pleasantly.
"Just water, please," he answers not taking his eyes off me. Mom doesn't ask me what I want to drink. She knows I am a Mountain Dew addict.
Meanwhile, The Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte has started to play and I find myself quietly singing along. "He was always giving her attention… Looking hard to find the things she mentioned… He was dedicated, but most suckers hate it… That girl was fine, but she didn't appreciate him…"
I slowly look up at Tom with those words echoing in my ears. There seems to be a complete standstill as our gazes lock, but I close my eyes and turn my head slightly as I see him start to lean in for a kiss. He gets the message and backs off. I open my eyes again and am so thankful when Mom announces, "Dinner's ready!"
Dad walks into the room to take his seat. I feel Tom's fingertips slowly slide from my hips. He sighs and goes to take his seat at the table as well. I do the same.
Dinner is good. I ask Mom about Lucy staying over Friday night and she is fine with it, as I knew she would be. All we need now is Lucy's mother's permission. I know that won't be too hard to get.
I have just gotten over the tense situation that had occurred between Tom and me when something else happens. As I am telling my parents about the school day, Tom, who is sitting next to me, places his hand on my knee. The pressure comes flooding back and I hate it, but I do my best not to show my disgust.
Finally, the night ends and the crew leaves. I cannot remember a moment where I've been happier. I blow a sigh of relief that I don't have to worry about Tom anymore. I don't have to worry about hurting Lucy anymore. I just really wish Tom would get over this fixation of his. It's killing me. Max is at my heels as I creep upstairs to my room. I pluck some pajamas from the drawers of my dresser and go into the bathroom down the hallway to take a long, relaxing bubble bath to try and forget all about my worries. I slip on my pajamas, go through the rest of my nightly routine, and pad back to my room. "Night, Mom! Night, Dad!" I call from my doorway.
They give me 'goodnight's and 'I love you's.
I close my door and climb up into my large bed. Max is curled up in his own bed next to mine and is already asleep. I am glad to fall back onto the mass of pillows that surrounds my head. I close my eyes and hope heavy sleep takes me.
The next morning, the alarm clock on my nightstand buzzes waking me from a fitful sleep. Groaning, I reach over and flip the switch to off. I sigh letting my hand drop and stare up at my ceiling. It is Friday. This fact is what gets me out of bed. I shove the sheets back and swing my feet over the edge of the mattress. Max looks up at me from his own bed. "Well, Lucy's coming over tonight."
He wags his tail.
"All I have to do now is get through the day."
Hopping down from my bed, I stumble to my closet. I find a pair of black jeans and a fitted, sequined, lavender shirt. After nearly walking into the doorframe out of my room, I head into the bathroom, change, and wash my face. I shuffle back into my room and brush my hair. I find my pair of black leather knee-high boots, slip them on, along with my favorite heart-shaped locket Doyle gave me for Valentine's Day, and head downstairs with Max behind me.
Once in the kitchen, I grab a pop tart from the pantry, heat it in the microwave for a few seconds, and take a seat on the kitchen counter. I enjoy the warm gooiness as I take a bite of my breakfast. The house is quiet. I know my parents have already left for work. They are usually gone before I wake up.
I hear the front door open. Max barks and runs into the other room to the door. A second later, I watch as a short, heavyset middle-aged woman with tan skin and black hair enters the kitchen. "Hilda!" I exclaim hopping down from the counter and hurrying over to hug her tight. "It's so good to see you again! I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too, Angie," she greets in a pleasant voice hugging me back. "It's good to be back. I missed being here."
"We've missed having you here."
Max enters the room, then. "Hello again, Max," Hilda says. "I bet you would like some food, wouldn't you?"
He wags his tail in response.
I finish my pop tart as I watch her fill Max's bowl with food and easily fall into her usual house-cleaning routine. She's been gone for quite a while on a vacation my parents had provided for her. We knew she was going through a rough time with her ex-husband and so we gave her some time to relax and work through things. I smile to myself happy to have her back. She's like a part of the family. I'm glad that at least one thing seems to be back to normal. "Well, I guess I should be heading off," I say.
"Okay, I'll see you when you get back," she replies.
"Mom and Dad are going to be so happy when they find out you're back!" I squeal grabbing my house key from the hook on the wall and I hear her chuckle as I skip out of the house.
Tom is waiting in his convertible, top down as usual. "Hi," he greets me when I reach him.
"Hello," I counter getting inside and closing the door.
He starts the machine. "Thank goodness it's Friday, huh?"
"Oh, yeah."
He pulls out of the drive and we are well on our way to school.
The day should have gone by smoothly, but it doesn't. As the gang is waiting for me to finish putting my books in my locker at the end of the day, out of the corner of my eye, I see somebody walk past and run into Jimmy, forcefully pushing him into the lockers causing him to crumple to the floor. The guy cranes his head around and smiles wickedly at us. It's Chance and his posse. "Hey!" I call after them.
They stop and turn around to face me. "Yeah?" asks Chance. "You want something?"
I slam my locker door shut, ticked. "Yeah, I want you to say 'sorry' to my friend."
The guys snicker.
"Something funny?" I question.
Chuckling, Chance steps closer to me with an intense look in his eyes. He's sort of a large guy, pretty muscular and tall, but I don't let my guard down. I don't care who it is; nobody messes with Jimmy and gets away with it, especially Chance's group, who think they can. "Yeah, actually," he answers with a smirk. "You seem to forget that we don't give apologies, baby."
His guys snicker again from behind him.
"Well, I'm afraid you've forgotten something, too, Chance."
"What's that?"
"I'm not your 'baby'," I say lightly with a smirk of my own. "I don't belong to you and I can't believe anyone would ever want to."
Anger flashes in his eyes and he starts to step forward, but Tom and the rest of the crew -excluding Jimmy- step beside me. "You're really going to go after a girl?" Tom asks even though he knows very well that Chance has done some damage to several students in the school, regardless of gender. "You're pathetic, Chance. Back off."
He sneers. "One day," he says to me. "Just you wait. You'll see how great it really is over here." He and his crew depart from us.
I sigh as Tom slides his arm around me. Ever since I or anyone else can remember, Chance has wanted me to join his gang. I'm not sure why, but it's some sort of fixation of his. I figure he wants his group to be the biggest in the school because right now our groups pretty evenly matched; just something cheesy like that. I'm a caring person though, and that's opposite from what Chance is. If somehow I ever ended up with him, he would most likely chew me out for being too nice to people or worse. I couldn't stand that.
I walk over to Jimmy, slipping out of Tom's grasp, and help him up. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he replies quietly. "I think so."
"Come on, let's head home," I suggest putting an arm around him.
We make our way down the hall and to the main doors of the school building. As we near the doors, again, we see Duane leaning up against the wall watching us as we exit the building. Tom stares back harshly as we pass him. I nudge him in the side to get him cut it out. He looks at me, but doesn't say anything.
Once outside, Tom claps his hands together. "Alright, so I'm driving Lucy and Angel home."
"Yeah, we're all the way down there," Greg mentions thumbing behind his shoulder at the far end of the parking lot with one hand and shielding his brown eyes from the sun.
"Stupid younger kids…" Sean mutters under his breath, looking down at his Converse shoes, his fists in his pockets. "Always taking the good parking spots."
"We're way opposite from you guys," Tom says. "I guess we'll see you later this evening."
"Yeah," Greg replies.
After we all say our good-byes and give each other hugs, Lucy and I follow Tom to his car. I jump in the passenger seat and Lucy sits behind me. Tom, of course, takes his place behind the wheel and starts the car.
He begins to pull out of the space, but stops quickly as a car pulls up and stops right behind his. Chance sits proudly in the driver's seat and has his arm around Drusilla or Dru as we call her, another member of his group. Meg and Brent, a couple of other members, sit in the back seat. Chance flips Tom the bird and Tom just hands it right back to him.
Chance winks at me and I roll my eyes. He lurches forward in his car squealing out of the parking lot, a huge grin painting his face.
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