SLASH-BOOOOOM!
The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.
The review must go on!
Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.
Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.
Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.
The review must go on!
Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.
That's the theme of this song!
Although the waits may be long,
Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.
Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.
Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.
I am a Swords of Justice. . .
Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.
The review must go on!
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.
Keldeo the Critic
"Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer" by Pete the Rock
It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!
When Nintendo revealed me to the public on February 15, 2012, well, acutally I was leaked leaked on a photo of a page from CoroCoro magazine two days earlier. . .Anyway, many people weren't sure what to think of me.
For instance, on the Gamfaqs website, a message board had this title:
The deer trio was awesome, then I saw Keldeo the MLP reject. :/
(Keldeo laughed in disbelief and raised his hooves to gesture in amazement.)
Alright. . .people who believe this. . .first of all, I was before Friendship is Magic caught on. And second, well, you do realize that MLP has scenes like this:
A fierce Manticore jumped out at the Mane Six.
A Cockatrice slithered up from a bush and screeched
Rainbow Dash flew into the air and crashed down into a barn, blowing it up in a huge rainbow colored mushroom cloud.
Fluttershy tackled a huge grisly bear to the ground and pulled on its leg. She then grabbed it by the neck and twisted it until it snapped.
Princess Celestia and the ugly half pony half insect Changeling Queen have a lazer beam battle.
The Mane Six fought off an army of the Queen's minions. Twilight fired lazer beams rapidly at them, as the others beat the snot out of the rest of them. Soon the Changelings all lay beaten to pulp around them.
A Cerberus jumped over a house and roared.
The entire empire slowly turned dark and corrupted as a huge evil spirit of black smoke slithered across the land towards the palace. An evil looking head with green and red eyes and curved red horn could be seen within the smoke.
So. . .you think being connected to something as. . .awesome. . .as that is a bad thing?
You might wanna do a little thinking about that.
Well, I'm sure you all know where this is going. It's time for a Pokemon/My Little Pony Crossover!
Now, these kind of crossovers are actually kind of rare. The only other crossover I've found was Friendship is Aura on FiM Fiction Net. I did an Editorial on the main character of that story back in Season One. But lets focus on the task at hand. Namely, "Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer" by Pete the Rock.
This actually sounds interesting. Fluttershy loves animals and can talk to them, so she'd probably love Pokemon and can talk to them. Kinda like N. . .
Could this story bring up the negative connotation of Pokemon battling? Will Fluttershy be upset that Pokemon are fighting? Will Fluttershy meet N. . .or even join Team Plasma? Well, let's read the story and find out.
Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer
Author: Pete the Rock
A spell from a mysterious book sends Fluttershy to the Pokémon World but that's not the only problem. Rated for mild violence. PonyShyShipper
Always a book. Why is it always a book. I mean, we got the Dark Prognosticus in Super Paper Mario, the book from Time Warp Trio, The Great Big Book of Everything from Stanley; why must there always be a magic book. Why not a magic scroll?
So, this mysterious book is found just lying in the middle of the forest.
(Keldeo nodded and stood there. Then he nodded again with more emphasis)
What, I'm serious, the book is just lying in the forest.
What, don't believe me? Look!
A black book. What was a black hard cover book doing in the grass in the middle of a forest? There was no title. Three little ponies were approaching the spot.
Maybe it fell from the sky, I don't know. It's a world of magical talking multicolored horses.
So, the book is found by three little fillies, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. Okay, how did they come up with these names? Well they don't open the book because they think it's a private diary, but they bring it the library run by the main character, Twilight Sparkle, the worlds most powerful unicorn spellcaster.
"The books pretty big for a diary. It might be a new spell book Twilight ordered." A spell book? The voice coming in would want to beg to differ.
"Why would I need a new spell book, Spike?" spoke a purple horned pony with a dark violet mane fitted with a couple pink streaks. She also had prints of sparkles around her tail. Sparkles? As in Twilight Sparkle?
Okay, I just love how even the author is making jokes about her name. It's certainly better than all of those Chester A. Bum Fanfic parodies that make a whole ton of Twilight jokes. Really? Is that the best they can do?
Anyway, it turns out the book is an advanced spell book, and Twilight wants to try them out. Her friends even come to watch.
And now, this author makes use of a lot of detail from the show to make some really funny jokes. for instance:
"Why am I not surprised that you have a new book you're reading? More proof that you're an egghead." Twilight sneered at Rainbow with an unsettling smile. Oh, boy! "Hey, I know that look! Don't gimme that!"
"Oh, yeah? I recall a certain Pegasus pony who tried to sneak back into the hospital to read Daring Do and caused a lot of ruckus because of it." The cocky winged filly was now rather sheepish and the Crusaders were neighing in laughter. That's embarrassing.
"Yeah, and maybe there's a spell which could make me irresistible to Rarity!" he chirped. Twilight was about to tell him to get real but Sweetie Belle delivered that to him.
"What makes you think you're worthy of my big sister?" she snapped. "Huh?" Sweetie Belle's Rarity's sister?
"Well...I-" The evil eye from Sweetie Belle forced Spike to shut his snout.
Yeah, Spike is a dragon that has a crush on a pony. Nothing to see here! Just think of a Dragon-type having a crush on a Ponyta.
(Keldeo stopped and thought about this and shuddered nervously.)
Nevermind.
"Every pony, I need complete silence from the gallery," she warned. "It's the first time trying it so I need full concentration." The crusaders, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Spike, despite not being a pony per say, remained quiet. Twilight focused, her horn glowing like Sweetie Belle earlier. A beam of purple shot out of Twilight's horn and enveloped a circular shape. The circle then began warping with swirls of color. The gallery couldn't hold their excitement and chided their amazement.
"I may not be a scientist but I think Twilight created a portal," Apple Bloom believed.
(Keldeo stood there and looked around innocently. Then he frowned.)
No, I'm not going to make that reference. You all should know by now that I hate Friendship is Witchcraft with a burning passion. So you are not going to hear-
(Suddenly, a scene depicting the "Pinkie's Brew" segment from "Cute From the Hip" slid in from the right side.)
"Watch as I work my Gypsy magic-!"
(Keldeo shoved the scene back, only to have it come back from the left)
"Eye of a newt and cinnamon!-"
(Keldeo shoved the scene back again, but then it came up from below him.)
"Watch as the matter turns to batter-!"
(With a final shove, Keldeo forced the scene back down. Keldeo chuckled, feeling very pleased with himself.)
Aha, it's gonna take more than that to stop-
CRASH!
(The scene fell from the sky and landed on top of Keldeo, just in time for the end of the song.)
"Open the portal, jump in!"
Stupid abridged series. . .why did it have to make such good songs. . .
So, anyway, when the portal disappears, Twilight tries to create another one.
"What's every pony doing watching Twilight?" spoke a pink pony with a curly pink mane and balloons for prints by her hide. The voice forced Twilight to spin at the crowd.
"Pinkie Pie!" she shouted, forgetting the glowing horn which fired another beam. Incoming! The beam was heading toward Fluttershy who wasn't moving fast enough. This was going to hurt. The beam hit Fluttershy...KABANG! A huge blast. A mushroom cloud rose above the track. Was everyone okay? In Fluttershy's case, her ordeal was more than just surviving the blast.
Three guesses to where this is going to lead, the first two don't count!
Where-" I hiccuped. I couldn't get my hooves down to lift my body up. One flower came over and put a leaf on me to settle down.
"Take it easy!" it spoke. This was the first time I heard a flower talk to me, let alone tell me to relax. "We're all wondering how a human like you got beyond the gates." H-Human? Wait a second, I'm a Pegasus pony, not a human!
"Hold on...I'm a pony!" A few of the living plants glared at one another, not believing me for a second. I am a pony!
"Could it be that she was a Ponyta?" the seed questioned. That's when a green pod with a yellow flower full of water hopped on over.
"You may disagree with all of us," it warned. "But we are being honest. Take a look!" I saw my mane, still as pink as ever. Then I saw...that's me? What happened to my face? I didn't see a snout on me but a face of a human girl. That's not suppose to be me. I checked my hooves, only they were human hands. I also found myself wearing a yellow dress, the same as the fur on my body...which wasn't there. It was skin. I...I was...human?
A year before Equestria Girls, ladies and gentleman! Okay, the ponies turning into humans was a popular thing in Fanfiction, but still, this promises to be very good.
So in the next chapter, while the ponies are all running around wondering what happened to Fluttershy, Human!Fluttershy is introduced to the leader of the Pokemon she ran into.
"This is the first time I've heard of a human, let alone...become one. I wonder if Twilight knows about humans. She's highly educated from Canterlot." Before the creatures could wonder who Fluttershy was mentioning, a giant blue creature with a flower that was like a palm tree on it's back stomped onto the scene, curious about the human who found herself in their forest.
"So, this is the human that had appeared," the giant discovered. Fluttershy turned her body around and tried to stand in front of the new creature. Unfortunately, her feet were new and she fell onto her tail...bone. Not the same as trotting on hooves, huh? At least the ground was soft. The other creatures bowed to this creature, a notable feeling of royalty in their sights.
"Your highness, we've checked her out and she doesn't appear to be a trainer," a pink pod with weeds protruding from it's crown figured. Trainer?
"It has been sometime since we've been in contact with a human, let alone a Pokémon trainer." Pokémon? Were these creatures Pokémon? The human comment wasn't sitting well with Fluttershy.
"I'm sorry if I have to correct you...uh, your highness," she expressed her disapproval. "But I'm actually a pony from Equestria. More over, I'm a Pegasus pony...at least, that's what I use to be." Hearing that, the lord of these creatures stuck out a green vine. Was he offering friendship to Fluttershy?
"Can you walk?" Fluttershy tried to get up again, way unsteady on her feet. When her footing gave way again, she snagged the vine and stopped from falling onto her tail. She pulled herself to standing again.
'Okay, Fluttershy. Spike could walk on his hind legs. Take it one step at a time.' She moved one foot forward. Then the other foot. Who knew walking was so difficult? She finally reached the royal Pokémon, collapsing onto it's sturdy structure. She shivered. She looked rather frightened. 'That was scary. Who knew walking wasn't as easy as Spike does it?' Has there ever been a pony that could walk on it's hind hooves? The bulb-back creature had an idea.
"I'm gonna get you something," she offered. "It's the first human who've we befriended since we've had the gates built." It scampered off without much of a warning.
"Careful, Little Wonder," Fluttershy tried to offer that warning. Little Wonder... Compared to the highness, it's fitting. The king of this forest wanted to give the "Pegasus" human a tour of his kingdom. A hand, not hoof, to the king's back helped steady Fluttershy's balance.
"I should let you know that I was once like Little Wonder," he grumbled. "I was a Bulbasaur before I evolved and grew up to be this, a Venusaur." Fluttershy seemed intrigued by Venusaur's proclamation.
"Can I still call you highness, Venusaur?" A scoff seemed like Venusaur wouldn't mind. "So the gate..." Venusaur realized that she'd be asking about it.
"In the past, trainers would enter this forest and try to take us for battles against other trainers. It became a disaster since every Pokémon that was taken out of this forest brought desolation and wilt. The trainers were unknowingly destroying the place we call home. Before the forest became a wasteland, a group of humans stopped the continuous flood of trainers. They even erected a wall to prevent these trainers from gaining access to us." The fear of losing their Pokémon brethren had humans coming out and having to protect them as a metallic bird was carrying something in it's talons. It was red.
That's right, this is the sanctuary in which AG073 : Grass Hysteria takes place! In fact, it actually takes place during that episode! That's right, after the Skarmony grabs May and drops her into the Pokemon Sanctuary, after which she saves a Bulbasaur from falling off a cliff, and then Ash rushes in to save May from the angry Grass-type Pokemon, just like in the episode. However, Fluttershy, being the Advanced Generation version of N, acts as mediator/translator between them. I know, since this is Advanced Generation we won't get to see Team Plasma or N, but this story still has potential.
And about Advanced Generation, that was a pretty good season. It was fun, bright, full of adventure, comedic, and kid friendly. And best of all, the characters finally stopped acting weird and stupid!
I really wish I could've met Brock, May, and Max.
Okay, back to the review.
"How does that girl understand Venusaur?" May gawked. Not even Ash was sure. Fluttershy then looked at Ash and remembered him entering this valley, only understanding why he trespassed.
"Then the reason you entered here was to rescue her?" she pondered.
"Yeah," he snapped a reply. Fluttershy figured that these two were close but understood his intent. Little Wonder entered the scene and saw the crowd, wondering if anyone was hurt. Ash and May saw it too. "Hey, a Bulbasaur!" Little Wonder looked up to Fluttershy to tell her that May was the one who saved her.
("That's the girl who kept me from falling,") she pointed out. Fluttershy nodded to acknowledge the Bulbasaur before turning to Venusar.
"Your highness, I don't think we need to worry about these humans," she concluded. Venusaur trusted her word but used it's vines to pat down the trainers, startling the trainers.
"I think it's checking us out," May hummed. After that pat down, the vines picked Torchic up. Venusaur heard the explanation but groaned about Torchic.
"The highness disapproves of your Torchic being in these lands." Ash knew the reason.
"I know why," he spoke up. "Grass Pokémon don't like Fire Pokémon like Torchic." A note May quickly realized.
"Oh, yeah," she recalled as she snagged a red/white ball and pointed it to her chick. "Torchic, return!" Torchic turned into a red beam and entered the ball before May put it in her fanny pack. "I'm sorry for entering this forest and I promise that I wouldn't hurt anyone." Fluttershy and Venusaur finalized that Ash and May weren't going to be a problem.
"I understand," Fluttershy accepted the apology. "We'll guide you two around the area." She turned to Venusaur with an order. "Your highness, advise the others that these two can stay with us until the gates are opened." Venusaur went with Fluttershy's word and turned to the rest of the Pokémon. If Ash and May, not to mention their Pokémon, were shocked to see how one girl would be able to tame the wrath of Grass Pokémon, they weren't alone.
Indeed, because Team Rocket saw the whole thing and has big plans for Human!Fluttershy.
"Venusaur is telling the rest of the Pokémon that the twerps helped their Bulbasaur friend and that they can stay for as long as possible," spoke a white cat with an oval coin in it's forehead. "And dat's dat!" Two uniformed humans watched on with the cat. One was a female with wavy blood red hair. She wore a white mid-drift shirt with a red 'R' on it, white skirt and black thigh-high boots. One was a male with dampened blue hair. He donned a white uniform with that same red 'R' on it.
"That female twerp really has taken control of the Pokémon just by voice commands," the male awed. "She's make a great speaker for Team Rocket." The female seemed to want to agree.
"It's true what they say," she summed up. "Great minds think alike. We could take her and use her to help snag rare Pokémon." The cat gulped. Did he not like the idea.
"Now, wait a second, Jessie!" he meowed. "Dat's not Team Rocket's operation of existence! We're not kidnappers!" Jessie grinned, not worried one bit.
"We did kidnap Pikachu's twerp. What's wrong with someone like her?" She scampered off and left the other two wondering her scheme. The cat could only think something bad happening if they tried to take Fluttershy from Ash and May.
"There's some days dat I feel better in your hands, Jimmy boy."
"Appreciate the support, Meowth," James thanked before they trailed Jessie. What plans did they have in taking Fluttershy?
(Keldeo face hooves.)
Oh come on! Meowth can talk, why not use him! And do you really think Fluttershy's going to go along with your evil plan? But to be fair, Jessie is the only one who thinks this plan will work. And did Meowth just call James "Jimmy"?
Well, in the next chapter, Fluttershy shows her new friends all around the forest.
Chapter 3: Fierce Flutter
Ash, Pikachu, May and Fluttershy returned into the forest where there was a waterfall and a rock formation that made it look like a miniature mountain. The Grass Pokémon were pretty tame at locating themselves in peace. "Look at this place!" Ash awed. May and Fluttershy were equally awe-stricken with the site. "No wonder the Pokémon wanted to protect it." Fluttershy would agree.
"The Pokémon here do intend to call this place home," she explained. This would explain why they were territorial. "After all, many trainers came by and unwillingly were destroying the place by taking them from here." The note of people coming along and taking Pokémon to harm the forest implanted ire in the two trespassers.
"You must have been left in charge of this place in order to prevent more of the same," May incorrectly concluded. It would make some sense but Fluttershy wasn't even there for an hour, let alone years.
"Oh, no. I haven't been here that long! The highness has been here longer than the other Pokémon, let alone me." The perplexity on Ash's and May's faces were priceless. They knew Fluttershy meant Venusaur who was watching the humans and Pokémon from above...but to hear that she hadn't been here for any longer than say a new arrival baffled them.
("You're not from around here?") Pikachu gasped.
"No, I'm afraid not." Disbelief read the faces of even Ash's Pokémon. They don't know how complicated this was. "As a matter of fact, this isn't my real form." Neither of the three were sure how to take that info.
Well, I think the Pokemon world would probably have an easier time believing your story than the "real" type world in Equestria Girls.
("Everyone!") grunted Little Wonder. The group turned to see the Bulbasaur with a yellow flower wrapped in it's vine.
"Little Wonder?" Fluttershy shyly gasped. Bulbasaur extended the vine and wanted to give the flower...to May.
("For you for saving me.") May seemed stunned that the Pokémon who were going to beat her up now have shown a soft side with this little gift.
Ah yes, this story sticks to the plot of the actual episode very well.
And if you're wondering what's happening in Equestria. . .
(Keldeo rubbed his forehead with his hooves.)
Oh my gosh. . .I hate bickering so much. It's just so annoying and uniteresting. The brief Equestria cut away in this chapter can be summarized thusly: Twilight is upset, they can't find Fluttershy is random, Rainbow Dash and Twilight are angry, Applejack has to keep the peace. I'm not really complaining because I'm more interested in what's happening in the Pokemon world, but I'd rather the author just keep it one world per chapter and take a whole chapter to develop what's going on and what the characters are going to do.
And you know what else is annoying? The author has to go and describe every new character in detail.
The ponies and Spike turned to see an orange pony with a cowboy hat over a blond mane and apples imprinted by her tail. The other pony was white with curls in her violet mane and diamonds by her tail.
Oh come on, we know what Applejack and Rarity look like! It's Fanfiction, we're fans! We know the characters! Imagine if my reviews did something like that!
(Said the quadruped, colt-like Pokémon with a cream-colored body, a short, rounded snout with large nostrils, blue eyes, a large, feathery red mane, long, dark blue, ridged eyebrow-like protrusions, a single cream-colored horn that curves slightly, fluffy, light blue fur on the back of his head and neck, blue hooves, which are capable of ejecting water, and a light blue with white spots and resembles an elaborate feather in a cap.)
"Say, what town or city are you from?" Fluttershy pondered if maybe saying where she's from could help with the mysterious mental fog clouding the humans that she herself became.
"Actually, I'm from Ponyville," she answered. A village but the name of Ponyville had Ash scratching his head. It wasn't a village he's heard of.
'Ponyville? Is that in the Hoenn Region? I know it ain't in Johto, Kanto or the Orange Islands.' Before Ash could interrogate her further, he remembered that there were others who were waiting for them back beyond the gate. 'Maybe we can have her tag along so that she could tell us about Ponyville.' He now turned to May. "May, we should find our way out of here. Max and Brock are pretty worried about us." May turned to Ash, knowing about their friends just beyond the gate.
"I know," she smiled. "I mean...this place is beautiful and all, but we're not suppose to be here." Ash and Fluttershy bobbed to agree. That's when May remembered Fluttershy. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why not come with us? I mean, you're not from around here yourself, right?" An invite...that Ash was just thinking about. Fluttershy wasn't sure if she wanted to go with Ash and May over the gates. Perhaps if she stayed with the Pokémon, whatever brought her here could bring her back with Twilight and her friends. Then again, if she found a way back, would she return to pony form? Would her human form scare off the other ponies? Maybe going with Ash and May sounded like a good idea after all. Suddenly, a wail of cries from the Pokémon snagged their attention.
"What was that?" Fluttershy heard the cries. Trouble. May realized there was panic.
That's right, like in the episode, it's Team Rocket's giant robot on the attack.
"Prepare for trouble, we've got the Pokémon in the bag," that female from the robot chanted.
"Make it double, or better yet, waive that rag," the male added. What's this, a motto?
(Keldeo looked around awkwardly)
Well. . .yeah. . .of course it's a motto. . they're Team Rocket. This can't be Fluttershy's point of view, because it said "Fluttershy said" and "she heard", it's third person. Is the narrator from Equestria?
(Keldeo smiled and jumped for joy)
Well, whatever! Nothing can ruin a catchy Team Rocket Motto!
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all people's within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above." The head opened up where Jessie and James emerged.
"Jessie!
"And James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!" That's when Meowth showed up.
"Meowth, that's right!" he meowed with a Brooklyn accent. Ash realized that there was trouble with the appearance of these three.
So after it's revleaed the robot is, of course, Thunderbolt proof, Team Rocket goes after Fluttershy, but grab Bulbasaur, oh I'm sorry, Little Wonder and May. This causes Fluttershy to decide she's had enough.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Even though the anger wasn't at Ash, he and Venusaur still flinched at the yelled from her. "You think that just because you have a giant robot means that you can bully everyone and everything in this world?" James and Meowth stuttered from Fluttershy's tone. Jessie? To her, Fluttershy was like Ash and May, just a twerp.
"Well, duh," she defied. "The bigger we are, the better our chances of getting away." Fluttershy wasn't going to throw in the towel just yet. Instead she reached for the balls by Ash's belt.
Hey!" he yelped. "What are you-" Snagging a ball, Fluttershy chucked the ball out which opened where a light spurt out and a red lobster-like creature emerged.
("I'm here!") it cawed. Ash was shocked that Fluttershy would release one of his Pokémon...but grinned with a plan.
Wait. . .so. . .she just releases a random Pokemon? How could she have known what she was doing?
So, Corphish smashes the anti Electric-type attack mirror and tears open the back, freeing Little Wonder and May. But wait, what if Fluttershy had picked some other Pokemon at random?
FLASH!
Ash: "Alright! Go now. . .Treeko. . .use. . .bullet seed on the hard metal robot. . ."
Fluttershy: "You're not very smart, are you."
Ash: "You're the one who chose Treeko!"
So then the guardian of the gates to the Pokemon reservation named Old Man Obee has his Poochyena hit the robot with Shadow Ball, and Venusaur finishes the robot off with a Solar Beam.
KABOOM! The robot was toast and Team Rocket went flying.
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" the three yelled as they left the forest. Bye bye! It was a moment for everyone to calm down and relax. As the sun set, the humans and Fluttershy were back beyond the gate. The Grass Pokémon were saying their goodbyes.
(Keldeo stomped)
Okay, this story is written very. . .weird.
I mean, the narrator is all over the place. It's like it was written by the Curiosity Core from Portal, either that or Zorua. It's like, "Is that a motto? The robot's toast. Bye bye!"
(Zorua suddenly ran in)
"Hey! I resemble that remark!"
Oh, go do a review of Grass Hysteria!
"Okay!"
(Zorua ran off happily)
And why did we just skip from Team Rocket blasting off again to sunset at the gate? Maybe they did it in the episode, but can't you add in the aftermath? And if you really want to do a time skip, then put in a horizontal line, or just say "1 hour later" or something!
"The Pokémon are grateful that we came to help them despite the fact that none of us were allowed inside," Fluttershy explained. "I am grateful to be friends with those who wish to preserve the lands for future generations." That was rather heartwarming. May did have a question for Fluttershy.
"By the way, Fluttershy," she started. Guess she told her name with some confidence. "How were you able to calm the Pokémon down with your voice? When we met, you said that you weren't there for a long time." That was a mystery that Ash had to be desiring answers to, too.
"I take care of different animals back home, even my bunny, Angel. So for me to understand Pokémon sounds rather natural." It's as if understanding creatures was a talent for her. The old man came forward with a question of his own.
"By the way, how did you infiltrate the gates?" he wondered. Fluttershy had a feeling that her answer would not help the mystery but thought it would start a reason.
"To be honest, the last thing I remember was Twilight Sparkle trying a spell from a new book and the spell hitting me. When I woke up, the Pokémon wondered about who I was." Twilight Sparkle? Even to Pikachu, that name was not normal.
"Who would name someone Twilight Sparkle?" Brock itched his head in confusion.
Does the author not like that name? Cause this is the second time there's been a joke about it.
Well, you know what happens next. Little Wonder, sheesh, could you come up with a name any more clichéd. So Little Wonder decides to travel with May.
And that's it. Kind of a misleading title. I mean, did Fluttershy even do anything? Sure, she got angry. She threw a Pokeball. So there's that. Okay.
So in the next chapter, "A Shy Way Home," Fluttershy and May go. . .clothes shopping. . .
(Keldeo blinks)
Really? Clothes shopping? We go from fighting Team Rocket to clothes shopping? You have a world of creatures with incredible power, and a being from another world who's been thrown in a new body, we have all these emotions of homesickness and confusions and stories of what our characters have been through, and the most you can think of is clothes shopping?
(Keldeo threw up his front hooves and picked up a Berry Juice.)
Well, this is going to be a boring chapter. I guess I'll just relax with a nice cold Berry Juice.
"We, uh...stopped by for some new clothes," Fluttershy tried to get her attention. Still in a really happy place, the owner ran off for some of her line of clothing.
"Of course! These are top of the line gowns that would no doubt go with the hairstyle! Come to the dressing room and try it out!" The green-haired owner dragged Fluttershy to her tiny dressing rooms for her to see what she'd look like in her wardrobe. She lifted her dirty gown off, revealing rather lacy lingerie and there were small bumps on her chest. If this was what Fluttershy looked like as a human, could you imagine what the other ponies would appear as should they come by here. Speaking of ponies, a piece of herself was found above her waist at her back: her cutie mark! She may be human but a piece of herself was still on her.
(Keldeo almost did a spit-take, but he managed to keep his mouth closed and swallowed the juice. Once he composed himself, he spoke in a strained and shaky tone)
Oh. . .my. . .gosh. . .
First of all, why does something like this have to happen whenever I'm drinking something!
Second, if this story is rated K+, then why in the name of justice and honor are we peeking into a girl's dressing room?
Third, assuming Pete the Rock is male, isn't it a little creepy that a guy is writing about a girl staring at her breasts while wearing nothing but a lacy lingerie? Ughhhhh!
And fourth, when Hasbro made Equestria Girls and designed the characters, they took their Cutie Marks and changed them into patches or buttons or designs on their clothing because, oh, I don't know, seeing a human with a Cutie Mark on their butt has to be the creepiest thing ever conceived! Look, maybe you're okay with humans having tattoos on their butts, that's your opinion. But me? I find it very unsettling. I mean, isn't their a negative connotation for when a woman wears a symbol on that part of their body?
So, while in the dressing room, Fluttershy discovers that win her clothing was a picture of her and the rest of the Mane Six.
"I still have my cutie mark? I thought it might have disappeared when I became human." Apparently, that wasn't all. Peering down, there was what appeared to be a photo. She picked it up and nearly wept the fitting room with flowing tears. It was her...as her old self and along with the other ponies: Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow and...that other pony. What was her name?
(Keldeo stomped the ground)
Okay, I'm getting real mad now. Why is the author picking on Applejack now? Is it because she only had the starring role in 3 episode? Uh, she's pretty important in like, 80 percent of the other episodes! And what's worse, the way this story is written it makes you wonder whose point of view this story is being told from. It's supposed to be third person, but the narrator is reacting to every little detail as if he's surprised by every little thing. He doesn't know Pokemon names, he describes every new character, he makes all these weird comments.
So you wonder if it's supposed to be from Fluttershy's point of view, which would explain why the Pokemon are nameless and have to be described and why there are all these weird little lines, but then that would mean she's forgotten Applejack's name! The first time I read this, I thought Fluttershy was slowly loosing her memory the longer she spent in the Pokemon world. Now that would be a clever plot device. But since Fluttershy doesn't express any concern about not remembering the orange pony with the cowboy hat, you know it can't be from Fluttershy's point of view, so that means that comment was just a cheap shot at Applejack that came out of nowhere.
This narrator is acting like the Pokemon Narrator, the Power Puff Girls Narrator, and the Word Girl Narrator all rolled into one.
"My friends..." Let's let her reminisce while we check back with the ponies. A portal was opened by Twilight where the forest of Grass Pokémon could be viewed. The ponies got to maybe a few feet of the portal in Twilight's home but it abruptly closed and vanished. Twilight was exhausted.
There wasn't even a transition! It's just, right in the middle of the paragraph, we go back to Equestria! Seriously?
"I'm sorry, every pony," she apologized weakly. "I'm out of... energy to..." The orange pony positioned her head in time to catch Twilight fainting. Poor Twilight wore herself out trying to find Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle fainted! Her eyes are swirly!
(A large crowd could be heard booing at Keldeo)
Alright! Alright! Come on! I don't hear you booing at how this author's really milking this "who's Applejack?" joke.
So guess what? Nothing happens. Literally, they all just sit their and mope. Of, in the name of Celestia, do something! In fact, that's an idea, send a letter to Celestia! She's powerful! I'm sure she could do something. But seriously, just seeing the characters moping and saying, "I hope Fluttershy is okay, I hope we find her soon," is not entertaining at all.
So we go back to the Pokemon World, alright stop.
(Keldeo held up a hoof)
Seriously, just stop. I mean, I think what the author is trying to say is that Pokemon is better than My Little Pony. That has to be the message because the plot back in Equestria is as dry as dust. The characters aren't doing anything. Maybe I'm reading too far into this, but if I'm not, well I believe both shows are great and there's no point in comparing them. Watch them both, they both have good points and bad points, they both have adventures, and they're both fun. Not like in this Fanfic where you want to slap a pony whenever we go back to Equestria.
So, Little Wonder and Ash's Bulbasaur become friends, and May's Skitty and Ash's Tailow have a Pokemon battle. Now, you'd think Fluttershy would have something to say about little creatures fighting each other, kind of like that story arc with N in the Anime. But it seems the author continues to frustrate us by having Fluttershy have a heart-to-heart with Pikachu instead.
As the two battled, Max saw the picture of Fluttershy as her old self with her friends. Pikachu saw the photo, curious about if the six were Pokémon.
("What are they?") he asked. Fluttershy decided to let the little one know about her origin.
"That's...suppose to be me," she confessed. Pikachu did a double-take, gawking between Fluttershy in the photo and Fluttershy in person, literally. "There's Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and myself." Seeing all these ponies on the picture began to question who Fluttershy really was.
("You're really a pony, not a human?") Pikachu looked hard at Fluttershy on the photo, noticing the wings. ("You can fly?") Fluttershy was a Pegasus pony.
"If I could turn back, I would be able to." Strong interests fueled Pikachu's mind, desiring to see Fluttershy and her pony friends. "Although when Ash protected me from the king landing on us, I felt a warmth from him that I never felt even as a Pegasus pony." Was there something about Ash that had her feel this warmth?
She has a crush on Ash? You know what? I don't care! I would have much rather seen Fluttershy's reaction to a Pokemon battle!
And Skitty, I noticed that your Blizzard attack's gotten stronger." Skitty meowed, happy to hear the compliment. Fluttershy wondered what Blizzard was. She was paying more attention to her photo and Pikachu.
(Keldeo stared blankly)
. . .
How the heck do you miss a Pokemon bat-NEVERMIND!
"I'm gonna make something to eat," Brock offered. The others couldn't wait for food but Fluttershy had a special request on his menu.
"Can you make something without meat?" she asked. Fluttershy's a vegetarian? Formerly being a horse, it might not be too farfetched.
Stop with comments!
Look, in cartoons like Power Puff Girls and Word Girl, narrators that keep saying random stuff is fine because it's a cartoon! You don't need a narrator to tell you the story, so you can kinda turn the narrator into a character and get some laughs out of it. But when you're reading a story, you need the narrator to tell you what the heck is going on. If the narrators starts spouting random stuff, it gets really confusing and distracting.
So, anyway, Fluttershy shows everyone the photo- WAIT A MINUTE?!
Where did that photo even come from? She didn't have it when Twilight zapped her? I mean, okay, the same could be said about her clothes, but we can't just have her be naked! But, how is there just some random photo?
You know what, I know this is a cop out, but I'm gonna say it: The Magic of Friendship.
"Well, the orange pony is Applejack who helps run Sweet Apple Acres. The pink pony is Pinkie Pie. She...pretty much does everything around Ponyville. The blue Pegasus pony is Rainbow Dash, out weather manager and lastly, the purple unicorn is Twilight Sparkle who came to Ponyville from Canterlot." Seeing the cast on the photo, Max sneered at Ash. Why?
"These are girls, right?" he asked. Fluttershy bobbed a nod. "Maybe one of them could fawn for Ash." That was terrible, Max. POW! And May cemented that with a punch to the crown. "OW!"
"Apparently, bad child comedians could do better than that," she groaned
What the heck am I reading? What was the point to that scene? I can't even comprehend its purpose? Would Max even say something like that? And also, annoying narrator!
Fluttershy picked Skitty up to pet while Taillow perched itself on Ash's head.
"I would like to meet your friends, Fluttershy," he said, somewhat willing to make new friends. Fluttershy giggled at Ash's curiosity.
"Trust me," she smiled. "They're some of the best friends a pony...or human could ever have." That's when a flash blasted behind them. The flash was a portal...from Ponyville! Twilight's horn from the other side of the portal was glowing. She, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow, Applejack, Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders watched the portal open.
"Look at that!" The kids gasped at seeing the ponies.
"I told you some rest and a glass of apple cider would give her the strength to keep her portal open," Applejack grinned.
Oh, thank goodness. Now go home so this boring story can end!
Fluttershy was stunned. It was her friends. Holding Skitty, Fluttershy approached the portal.
"Twilight!" she gasped. "Applejack!" The ponies turned to what should be a reunion with a friend...only it didn't quite dawn on the ponies about one of their own.
"Who in tar-nations are you?" She didn't recognized Fluttershy. She had to help out.
"It's me, Applejack! It's Fluttershy!" Even Spike and Pinkie Pie didn't want to believe that this...whatever she was, was their friend Fluttershy. That's when she remembered that despite becoming human, she still had her cutie mark. "I can prove that it's me!" She turned around and hoisted her blouse
(Keldeo just stared at the Fanfic. His face was emotionless. All he could was stare at the words. He just stared and stared and stared for a solid 3 minutes. Then, he got up and walked away. He soon found himself sitting on a grassy hill, just staring at the sunset. . .)
We'll be right back!
The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.
