A/N: Part deux.
Disclaimer: In a time where dragons are the primer intelligent beings and humans are an enslaved species, there is one woman who owns Final Fantasy. And that woman is AmazonTurk!
Zack: Uh, AT?
AT: Yes, Sex Slave #2?
Zack: Uh...wait! Number 2?!
AT: Yes. You were saying?
Zack: That (points above) is a fantasy.
AT: Let me have my dream! (sobs)
Rude: Be nice, Zack. She's depressed. She's been out of high school for ten years.
Zack: Ah.
AT: Thank you, Sex Slave #1.
Zack: Hey! I'm second to HIM?!
Rude: (smirk)
Kandi looked up from her sandwich as her front door beeped, indicating that someone had scanned their eyes and was entering her domain. A large man entered, his blue eyes hidden behind sunglasses, his hair short and shagged.
"Hey! Grease Monkey! You cut the hair!" she exclaimed with a grin. "Nice. What's Lily think of it?"
Joel ran his fingers through his now short locks. "She likes it," he said with a smile. "She convinced me to get it cut. What can I say? I'm a sucker for that girl."
"Aw, how touching," Kandi said, rolling her eyes. Joel sat at the bar across from her and reached for a pickle. "Want something to eat? I figure I can pay you for the services you will performing for me. Mwah ha ha."
"Sounds kinky," Joel laughed. "Yeah, I'll take a sammich."
Kandi started slapping together the snack and shoved the sandwich at him. "We need to hurry, though," she told him. "Rude will be back tonight and I need to make sure there is no evidence of you being here."
"Yeah, I really don't want that guy kicking my ass," Joel said through a mouthful of food. "I'm big, but he's bigger. I gotta admit, I'm a little nervous about this."
Kandi snorted. "I know for a fact this ain't your first time," she said lowly. "Nilto's told me what you've done for her."
"Ah, so I come with recommendations?" Joel smirked. "Yeah, I've done this with Nilto, too."
"So what are you afraid of?"
"If I would have gotten caught, Randak and I are basically brothers-in-law," he explained. "He wouldn't have maimed me over this. Rude might."
"Only if we get caught," Kandi said, leaning forward and poking his nose. "But we won't if you hurry up."
"You want it done right?" Kandi nodded. Joel smirked again. "Then I need to take my time."
"Do you value your testicles?" she countered. Joel swallowed and nodded. "Then hurry the fuck up. He'll be back from his mission in less than four hours."
Joel stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. "Let's do this, Babe."
"Ouch! That fucking hurts!" Kandi hissed.
"I'm doing the best I can," Joel grumbled, switching positions. "And you're not helping."
"I thought you were a big guy," she countered. "You should be able to handle this."
"Not in an elevator!" he exclaimed.
Kandi's head slammed against the side of the elevator with an audible thwack! as she was propelled backward. "Knock it off!" she screamed at him.
"I can't help it!" Joel yelled back. "It's heavier than it looks."
"Rude handled it all by himself," Kand snapped, trying to get a better grip on the dirty recliner. "He carried it all the way up here without any help."
"Well then maybe you should ask him to get rid of it," Joel retorted. "Oh. That's right. You can't because HE DOESN'T KNOW!"
Kandi shoved the recliner at Joel, slamming her co-worker against the other side of the elevator. "Fuck you, Asshole," she snarled. The elevator dinged and the door opened on the sixth to the last floor, revealing a middle-aged man on his cell phone and holding a briefcase. He stepped inside and pressed the "Close Door" button, never once stopping his conversation.
"No, I told you to tell him that the deal would be no less that 2.5 million gil," he exclaimed, turning around and setting his briefcase on the recliner and opening it. He pulled out a document and scanned the contents. "No, I'm looking at the document right now, Harris. It's signed by the client. I don't care if he says we had a verbal for 1.8 million. We have a signed contract for the 2.5!"
Kandi was about to spew every curse word she knew at the guy when the elevator opened again on the second to the last floor. An elderly woman looked at the full elevator and smiled. "I'll wait for the next one," she said.
"Yeah, we're full, Granny, thanks," the man snorted closing the door again. He closed his briefcase and turned around, leaning against the recliner still in the precarious grasp of the two Turks. "Some people. Listen, Harris, I'll be at the office in 20 minutes. Bye."
The elevator opened and the man stepped out, not bothering to hold the door for them. Kandi did a wicked maneuver, balancing on one flip flop clad foot while the big toe of her other foot held the "Open Door" button, allowing Joel to back out of the elevator. They collapsed into a pile on the floor, the recliner landing between them. Kandi scrambled to her feet to try to save her other flip flop from the elevator before it closed, but failed and watched as it rode to the penthouse. Maybe one of her Sista's would get it for her.
"Hey, Kandi, let's get this thing in the truck," Joel said, nervously glancing at his watch.
Kandi nodded and walked over to him, one flip flop on, one flip flop off.
The pasta was boiling and the chocobo and broccoli were simmering, a jar of Alfredo sauce sitting off to the side, waiting to be added to the mixture. She'd never gotten her flip flop back. Sad thing, really. Those were one of her favorite pairs.
Joel had taken the recliner off to the Sector Six slums where he'd given it to a furniture dealer in the area. The chances of Rude finding out where it was or who it had gone to after that were slim to none. Unlike at Best Intentions, furniture in the Sector Six slums didn't last long.
Andria was shaking her head as she prepared a spinach salad. "Mom, you should just...let it go," she told her.
"I have, Andi," she said with a smile. "It's gone forever."
"Oh boy," Andria sighed, cutting up some cherry tomatoes and cucumber. The microwave binged, singling her bacon for the salad was done. "This is going to keep on until someone gets hurt, isn't it?"
"Don't be silly, Andi," Kandi said stirring the broccoli and chocobo. "It's over."
The door beeped and they looked up, smiling when Rude walked through the door. Andria set the bacon next to the salad and ran to him, leaping into his arms. Rude caught her easily, hugging her to him. "Miss me?" he asked, kissing her cheek.
"Only a whole lot," she replied, squeezing him hard. "Just as much as Axys missed Uncle Reno."
Kandi waved at him as she continued with dinner. "How'd it go?" she asked.
"Good," Rude said, setting Andria down and tossing his bag into his and Kandi's bedroom. He went to sit down and stopped. "Where's my recliner?"
Kandi looked up and gestured to the black leather recliner. "Right there," she said. "Where it's always been."
Rude looked again and took his sunglasses off. "No," he said patiently. "That's the recliner you've always had. I mean, where's my recliner?"
"That's the recliner you claimed as yours when you first moved it with us," Kandi told him with a saccharine sweet smile. "That's the only one you've ever had here."
"Where's the ratty, old one you hate?" he asked returning the smile with one of his own.
"Oh, I gave that to Best Intentions when you first moved in, remember?" she said, her voice dripping with sugar.
Andria rolled her eyes and continued with her salad. "Oh brother," she grumbled.
Rude went into the kitchen and kissed his girlfriend sweetly. "I'm going to go take a shower," he said. He leaned in close and growled into her ear. "This is not over yet, Hot Mama. Not by a long shot."
She batted her eyes at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, Dear," she said, doing her best Mrs. Cleaver impersonation. "Don't be long in the shower. Supper will get cold."
Rude glared at her and walked into their bedroom. Andria laughed. "Well played, Mom," she said, tossing the salad. "Pretending he never brought it back. Nice."
Kandi smirked. Oh yes. She had won.
A/N: I know she's an OC, but damn does she and Rude work good together! Besides, he's never with anyone cannonically, so it's cool to give him a bitchin' girlfriend. Reviews/reviewers are loved!
