At long last Dianbo came upon a village. In all honesty the glare of the sun did not bother him much, after all he was built for this kind of weather. Still the small sign was a welcome one.
It was not particularly large, and was set at the foot of an exceptionally tall hill. The buildings were dull, unimpressive little structurres of mudbricks and reed roofs. Stretching out along the path ahead of him seemed to be a kind of carpet of indiscernible colour- as it must have once had many, but was now old and a dull grey.
The jackal retrieved his map, turned to the sign and began to decipher the language. Chinese was his mother-tongue now, no matter what his accent said to the contrary. And unfortunately, Chinese did not have an alphabet- the very idea of one had been exceptionally hard for him to wrap his head around. It did not help in the slightest that there were at least a dozen dialects.
There came the sound of shuffling and Dianbo looked up from his map. It was like looking into a funny mirror- the kind that warped one's reflection into something humorous.
It was a thin jackal with the usual sandy fur of their species. Only his was far more disheveled and dirty. The jackal wore a pair of pants with more pockets than Dianbo cared to count, along with an old-looking brown vest torn down the middle. At present he was also wearing a pair of fluffy pink slippers.
Dianbo raised an eyebrow. The newcomer's face was furrowed into the most powerful look of concentration the jackal had ever seen.
"Can I help you?" He did not want to sound demanding or rude, but in all honesty his fellow jackal looked like he'd been run over by one of the rickshaws... And the elephants driving them.
"Are you okay?"
The other jackal remained silent as he continued to shuffle forwards.
Dianbo could not help but stare. For one thing he had never seen anyone as rundown as this, yet at the same time there was something uneasily familiar about the jackal's appearance.
The stranger was right in front of him now and with a small 'boop' proceeded to poke Dianbo on the nose.
With a sensation rather akin to getting struck by a (small) bolt of lightning, Dianbo shot into the air. He gave an undignified yelp upon landing, his fur puffed-up to thrice their regular size so that he resembled an excessively large jackal-shaped pillow.
The other jackal had ran back a few feet, laughing his head off. Of course the ceaseless spasms of comedic instinct brought him down on his back. All the better to kick one's legs in the air and clutch at shaking ribs.
Dianbo recovered first, or rather his temper caught up to him before his fur went back to normal... Not that it would go flat for a while... Stomping over to the laughing jackal he was overcome with a sudden, overwhelming urge to kick him. He however, decided against that course of action. Master Flying Rhino would not approve of it... Instead he crossed his arms and tapped his foot, waiting for the 'comedic genius' to recover.
His foot was still tapping the ground twenty minutes later, when in-between fits of giggles the other jackal managed to blurt out his excuse.
"Well I've been doing this for a while so when everyone noticed the slippers they figured something was up. I can't shuffle very fast so it's kind of unfair that they all run away from me. Hehehehehe! You're new here aren't you?"
"Yes." Twenty minutes later and the effects of static electricity had yet to subside.
"Nice to meet you. The name's Sanjay." He offered his paw but pulled it away upon noticing Dianbo's complete lack of interest. Instead he decided to carefully replace the slippers with a pair of sandals-all of which somehow fitted into his pockets. He rose to his feet, but did not bother to dust himself off.
"You know it's considered polite to give your own name."
Dianbo could not surpress the indignant growl. To be schooled in the art of manners by the same person that had greeted him with an electric shock! Still he managed to spit out his name, as viciously as he could. "Dianbo."
"Diablo?"
"It's foreign." He admitted. "Here, repeat after me. Dian."
"Dian."
"Bo."
"Bo. So you're Dian Bo?"
"It's one word. Dianbo."
"Hmm, can I have that in writing?" From his pockets, the jackal extracted a quill and a clean sheet of paper.
The scowl. The sigh of resignation. Dianbo accepted the quill, and placed it onto the parchment.
"Oh wait, you need ink, right?" Sure enough the jackal also had a jar of ink. Sanjay gave the lid a twist but it refused to budge. Gritting his teeth, he proceeded to try and pull the lid clean off. This worked, for him at least. The sudden shift in the jar's momentum as well as the lack of protection, gave Dianbo's unprotected, puffed-up face a generous coating of the unusually-sticky substance. "Believe me when I say that was unintentional." It was hard to believe him when he was grinning so hard.
"You have three seconds to live."
"Accidents happen man. Besides, it could be worse."
"Oh, I doubt it was an accident."
"Come on! I don't want to run for my life now! I just ate!"
"One."
Sanjay sighed and pulled out a brush. "You left me no choice."
"Two."
The brush shot forwards, and drew a quick pair of spectacles and mustachios on the jackal's muzzle.
Dianbo blinked, there was the sudden urge to unleash his full and complete knowledge of Kung Fu upon this other jackal... Well it wasn't actually sudden, there had been a lot of build-up to it. "Three!"
Sanjay darted a few feet ahead, but Dianbo, though he wanted to kick the other jackal's face in... Had been trained differently. The jackal turned away, grabbed his suitcase and proceeded to walk away as determinedly as he could.
"Hey man, there's no need to get all emotional about all that. It was just a joke. Come on, I bet you joke all the time."
"I am not getting emotional, I'm saving my time and energy by walking away, there is a difference."
"But you just got here Diablo-"
"Dianbo!"
"Okay, at least let me fix your fur."
This made Dianbo stop for a second. On one paw it was likely this was another prank, on the other he couldn't really travel... Like this... It was probably a good thing noone here knew him. Anyways he wouldn't be staying for very long.
"Fine."
The town, contrary to expectations, was bustling. Children raced from one corner to another whilst vendors shouted increasingly cheaper prices to attract the customers darting between one cart to another. The air stunk of people and at least a dozen different species, but he was unsure how much of that was just his nose remembering the Rickshaw. There did not seem to be any hippopotami here, anyways.
Of course the large amount of people and the fact that he was both a new-comer and closely resembled a stuffed animal attracted a large amount of stares. Not that Sanjay seemed to mind, his grin was just as wide as ever.
"So what brings you to my domain?" Asked the jackal, casually removing the belt of a rhino stooped over some vegetables. A gale of laughter followed, just as they moved out of sight. "Actually, scratch that. Where're you from?"
"China."
"Bless you."
"No! I'm from China."
"Huh, so's my sister. Well, half-sister anyways. That's West from here right?"
"East. China's east." Dianbo corrected. "What is this place called anyways?"
"Roti."
"Like bread?"
Sanjay shrugged. "I didn't name it. Besides it was either that or Papa Doom-"
"Papadum! Papadum! Six rupees a plate!" Shouted a vendor.
Sanjay waved away the fennec fox. "No! It's fine, I wasn't talking about you."
"Five with a side of laddu! Okay!"
Sanjay facepalmed. Then shrugged. "Must be my karma. You'd think that with ears that big he'd know what a 'no' sounds like though, right?
Dianbo shrugged noncommittally. He waited patiently as Sanjay accepted a plate of wafer-thin crackers and payed the amount due.
"So where you heading?"
"It's a small village not too far from here, called Upma I think. It's not on any maps though so-"
"Well the reason it's not on any maps is... Because..." Sanjay gave a shrug. "No clue I'm not really a map-maker. More like a social... Hmm experimenter?"
"I'm sure one day you'll change the world." Dianbo replied through gritted teeth.
Sanjay exploded into laughter, and smacked him on the back. It probably would have hurt if not for the dense layer of puffed-up fur. "Nope! No ambitions here whatsoever!"
"Why am I not surprised?"
Sanjay gave another (exxagerated) shrug. "Maybe you're psychic." He paused briefly to haggle an orange- no, mango, off a vendor. Dianbo understood some small chunks of the conversation (it was a different dialect), but it seemed that Sanjay had earned the horse's ire- something about itching powder.
After what felt like half an hour of standing and getting stared at by everyone that walked by (not to mention having some children play with his flurrier-than-usual tail), Sanjay heaved a great sigh and turned to Dianbo. "That is why you don't give people underwear for their birthdays. I think he didn't like the pattern- lots of hearts and rainbows- but you know, having itching powder round the rump is an acquired taste."
"I'm sure it is." Was Dianbo's deadpanned response.
"Well it was either his underwear or the socks- and I did socks last year so I didn't want to beat a dead horse."
Dianbo 'humphed' contemptuously, before taking the opportunity to change the subject. "So how do I get to Upma from here?"
"Oh, it's just around the hill. I'm on my way there now, anyways. As a matter of fact I live there, just have to pick up the kids."
"Kids? You have children?" From what he'd seen of Sanjay so far, he'd make a terrible father. Even worse however was that this other jackal lived there...
"Of course not! But I get a couple of rupees for picking them up and anyways I need to get a new whopee cushion." Whether Sanjay was oblivious to Dianbo's look of utter disapproval or just didn't care, was a mystery worthy of any detective.
Right on cue Sanjay found his supplier and got his brand new whoppee cushion, which he proceeded to 'test' every time the duo passed another villager. This was often accompanied by loud snickering from Sanjay's part, and a scowl of disapproval on Dianbo's.
It was a while before they reached the school, and was one of the most humiliating experiences in the jackal's life. Sanjay waited patiently until a gong struck, signalling the exodus to come. A veritable stampede of young folk flew out the gates, shouting words like 'freedom' or 'to the sweet shop' at the top of their lungs.
Yet none of the children seemed the least bit interested in Sanjay or Dianbo. The latter was about to ask, in a tone of annoyance, what was taking so long, when he found his mouth full of whoppee cushion. Sanjay had pulled out his ink jar and brush and was proceeding to paint silly faces on all the passing children. Tears and glasses, beards and mustachios. If Dianbo had been an artist he'd have been impressed. As it was he was simply annoyed.
"Hey kids, let me introduce my new friend Diablo-" Dianbo growled. "Dianbo. He's come all the way from China to visit this place so you had all better be on your very best behaviour." This advice was of course, hypocritical, but in all fairness Sanjay had not unleashed the itching powder...yet...
The children chorused in greeting, looking almost as ridiculous as him in their new coat of ink. One offered to carry his bag, and two others snatched it from him. Then no less than fifteen of them grabbed him by the paws and half-dragged, half-lead him away. Sanjay pulled up the rear and Dianbo realized with a horrible sinking in his gut, that now there was no way out of his predicament.
I should have probably stayed in China...
Footnote: Yeah, another chapter that was entirely re-written. I didn't really like the way I skimmed over some things in the original- and Dianbo's arrival is something I really wanted to expand on. He's a foreigner so there are some language difficulties, but these won't be emphasized *too* much. I also skipped over his and Sanjay's meeting the first time which bothered me a little so yeah, had to have some fun here.
First of all since this is something I usually end up forgetting... Sanjay belongs to and is the property of Berserker88. You may have heard of him... He's kinda popular...
The pacing of this chapter and the next might be a little off, but somewhere around the middle of Chapter (counts fingers) Four the action should kick in. For now just introducing the cast.
