I was taking a soothing run on my mustang Sheikra (AN: Shee-K Ruh). She was a beautiful paint and I loved her to death. She was the foal of my last two horses, Sheik and Liberty.
*How could I ever love a murderer!?*You disgust me!*I never want to see you again, you pathetic little half-blood!*
I halted Sheikra and went to the big oak tree that was a few yards away. Curling myself up into a little ball, Sheikra lay beside me and nuzzled her big nose into my hair. She spoke to me right then.
Don't cry, sugar pie.
I lifted my tear streaked face to the mare and saw the kind coal black eyes of my best friend growing up. Her voice was still the same bell like with a twang worse than mine.
I shook my head, trying to get the crazy idea of Ginger talking to me. The tears fell faster and heavier.
Sheikra ran her nose up and down my back in a soothing gesture.
This quiet Dust was gentlemen and ladies,
and lads and girls;
Was laughter, ability and singing
and frocks and curls.
This passive place a summer's nimble mansion,
where blooms and bees
performed their oriental circuit
then ceased like these.
I hadn't heard that lullaby since the night before mom and Ginger were killed, when Ginger put me to bed before retiring herself. My head snapped up and looked towards the mare. "Ginger?" I reached out and ran my fingers from between her eyes down to her nose.
Yes, child. Yo' momma sent me back to watch over you. Your guardian angel. Every time I get killed I come back as somethin' else. Before Sheikra was born I was yo' dog, Shep.
"You've never contacted me before, why now?"
I never had a reason, until now. I've always believed that it was best to stay out of yo' life. But now, I see that wasn' right. I shoulda never let that James fella near ya! Yo' all skin an bones any more. Put some meat on dem bones, girl! Go back and talk to him. It will make you feel better. I promise.
"I will. I swear. Can I change your name back to Ginger?"
Sure. Go back to the house. I'll be in the barn. I love ya honey.
"I love you too, Ginger." I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the nose. There was a whoosh and I looked up to see Jasper looking down on me.
"You talking to your horse?" He cocked his head to the side, chuckling.
"Yes I am, got a problem with it?" Okay, that came out a little bitchier than I meant.
"No, no. Sorry. You just kind of ran out in a rush, feeling all kinds of things. You used to do that a lot. I just wanted to check on you." His eyes held only concern. "Are you okay?" He offered me a hand, which I took.
"Yeah. Fine." I dusted myself off and Ginger ran to the barn.
"Bella." He said sternly. "Empath. You can't lie to me. Now tell me what's the matter."
"You. You're alive. After waiting for all those years, I finally accepted the fact that you weren't coming home. I lost you. For years I just wanted to die. Do you know what that did to my dad? Not to mention, Alexa, to see her mother like that!?" My voice grew louder and louder with each word. "I even went as far as going to the Volturi." Tears welled up in my eyes. "They wouldn't. No. Couldn't. It was and is impossible to kill me. So many bites from newborns and you become invincible to even the strongest of vampires."
"Don't ever think that your only way out is death! Do you hear me?!" He shook my shoulders and I lost it. I clutched onto him like a baby. Crying and sobbing. He rocked us both back and forth, whispering soothing words to me.
"I'm not done." I sniffled. "After you left. I left, too. I left Alexa with dad. She inherited some pretty good strength. She beat the crap out of newborn Edward every time they fought. I joined the Confederacy. And eventually was recruited into the Southern Vampire Civil Wars. What Emmett said was true. That's why I'm so strong. Their venom, like, upgraded me past full bloods. Hurt like hell, but it benefited me in the end. Every newborn that bit me gave me their gifts. The only ones I don't have are yours and Edward's. I already was a psychic as a child. I had to live through seeing my mother and best friend shot to death by Yankees. My dad and I didn't get there in time."
"And you laugh at me for talking to my horse. That's my guardian angel, Ginger, my nanny as a child. She was actually a free black woman, but chose to stay with me. After she died, so she says, my mother sent her back to watch over me."
"I'm sorry." He hugged me tighter.
"I tried so many times to get over you. Dad sometimes helped me by taking big, extravagant trips to far away places. I fell in love with a vampire named James, in Paris. Alexa warned me not to trust him, but I did." Jasper stiffened. "I was just being manipulated by his power. Since I was so strong, he wanted me to help wipe out the Volturi. We were going to get married. The night before the wedding, I had to tell him what I'm telling you now, and show him my biggest shame." The tears flowed faster.
"He called me a murderer and a pathetic, worthless, little half-blood among other things. After that, I moved back to the states and Alexa, Adrian and I and I lived in peace for about thirty years."
"What, dare I ask, is your biggest shame?" He asked into my hair.
"These." I wiped the makeup off my face, revealing the hundreds of crescent shaped scars that covered my cheeks, ears and neck. I raised my t-shirt and showed the ones that covered the pale skin there. Jasper surprised the hell out of me when he leaned down and kissed almost every one of them, and there's a lot.
"You should never be ashamed of something that shows your strength." He unbuttoned his shirt and showed me his rock hard abs that were also covered in them, just not as bad as mine. I, in turn, kissed the ones that peppered his pecs and stomach.
"I missed you so much. I should have never left." He pulled me close and kissed my forehead.
"So, who's the hormonal ass that was lusting after my little girl?" He asked, lightening the mood.
