Disclaimer: These characters are based on those by Annie Proulx, and I'm not making money from them.
AN: Thanks to wannabebrit for the beta.
Chapter 2
Jack threw his head back and busted a gut to the The Devil's Right Hand. It was on WMZQ, but they were playing more and more of that rock-pop-country that Jack didn't like much. Ed hated country, and that was something Jack loved about Ed. Jack used to hate it himself, back when he was just a kid, crazy to be anywhere but Frederick, Hicktown, U.S.A.
He'd been sixteen when Ennis had showed him what was what in the backseat of a sky blue Chevy Celebrity. That same country song'd been playing on that radio too-- Steve Earle singing about a gun going off. Jack had been a sucker for country since that day. So much so that even being stuck in traffic on the BW Parkway, takeout Chinese growing cold in the passenger seat, could not ruin his mood.
Staring at the sea of taillights after the song had ended, Jack fumbled for his cell phone, hit #1 on the speed dial, and waited patiently for the other party to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hey there sweet cakes." Jack smiled at his own stupidity.
"Jack. Listen, we are up over our heads here. I am not going to be home any time soon."
"Shit." Though that wasn't terribly new, for Ed.
"Yeah. Sorry. So sorry. I know you were planning Chinese."
Jack eyed the brown bag sitting in the passenger seat, the bill stapled to the top like a flag. "It's alright." But he knew it really was alright, since he changed lanes that very moment, angling towards the nearby exit-- 197 North into Laurel.
"I'll be home maybe nine? I hate this, I really do..."
Jack could hear genuine stress and sadness in Ed's voice, yanking him back to the here and now. "Yeah... I know," he sighed. "It sucks. I'll see you later."
"Yeah..."
"You'll be ok."
"Yeah I know..."
"I gotta go. Driving. Love you."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Jack didn't even bother dialing the other number he had on his mind. He dropped the cell phone into his jacket pocket, trying not to be the little bit angry he was feeling. Ed was always working late. If anyone asked Jack to work late, he'd throw a 'fuck you' over his shoulder and head home, but he was different than Ed.
Jack never called, Jack never knocked, but Jack always did spend a good ten minutes fumbling with the keys before swinging open the door to Ennis's apartment. He usually beat Ennis home, delighting in that little moment of surprise when Ennis walked through the door, the sparkling instant when he and Ennis could pretend, just for a second, that they weren't just friends.
He swung the door open, and came face to face with a grimy man gaping at him from the hallway. Ennis clearly had not been home for more than ten minutes, as he had not changed out of his work uniform. They starred at each other for a minute, this tiny role-reversal somehow a major hitch in their routine.
"I brought Chinese. I know you don't like orange beef, but I thought you ought to give it a try."
Ennis stared at him.
"What do you say. Somethin' new?"
"Ed liked orange chicken I guess?"
Jack's cover was blown. Jack heaved a sigh. "Yeah, an' he's workin' late tonight. Unexpectedly. Again."
Ennis opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again and shrugged. "Make yourself at home," he answered, though Jack swore he could detect a hint of irony in the sentence. "I need to shower, though," Ennis continued.
Jack nodded, and started unpacking the Chinese food.
Ennis felt a little something rise in his throat the moment Jack busted through his door. It was an odd mix only this man brought: acid, adrenaline, and tears of all kinds. But now for the first time he noticed that something'd been added. It'd been there, rising like a storm cloud on the horizon. Weather-eyed, he should have seen it. But he hadn't been watching to see.
It was anger-- anger at Jack. Jack could still bust into Ennis's place without knocking or calling, bringing dinner but nothing else, and no promise of anything else either. Jack just assumed Ennis didn't have anyone, wasn't going anywhere, wasn't planning anything. The fact that Jack knew Ennis well enough to know the sure-fire safety of those assumptions only made Ennis madder.
He gathered up all his mad, gathered it up in his head and wanted to have it out. He wanted Jack to hear what Ennis was feeling, the conversations that had been running over and over in his head, but he didn't want to acknowledge the part of himself that was getting desperate enough to edge on begging Jack to listen, and he could never risk letting his anger loose on Jack. The result was that he was learning for the first time ever in his life to control it, that anger. Feeling his control slip, he said something about a quick shower, removing himself from the situation, and walked to bathroom.
He stood under the hot deluge just long enough to burn away the inside pain with outside scalding. He needed to stop being a jerk. Isn't that what Jack'd called him during that last fight?
This was not a good time for Ennis to think back on that. There was food getting cold. Ennis had said so much he didn't mean, but he bet Jack meant every word he'd said. Ennis jerked off the water hard and dressed in a hurry, back into his dirty clothes before leaving the bathroom. It was not his ordinary procedure, and Jack would know it, but this is how things were between them. Friends don't walk out of the bathroom naked in front of each other.
When he returned the table was set, the food was out. They ate in comfortable silence, and Ennis had to admit that, while spicier than he liked, the orange beef weren't half bad. And when it started to burn his mouth, Jack seemed to notice without him saying and swapped it out for Jack's own beef with broccoli. Jack always had kept one eye open for Ennis's discomfort.
Ennis ate alone when he could, but he often had to eat with the rest of the building maintenance crew in the winter. Luckily, Monday, some girl had gone and spewed in the main office. This wasn't usually the sort of thing Ennis had to deal with, since his main job was with the cooling and heating, but he supposed it said something about him that he would rather deal with vomit than have to sit and eat with the people he worked with.
He was just finishing up in the office when a familiar voice pricked his ears. "I didn't start it."
It sounded just like Jack when he'd been in high school, and Ennis whipped his head around to see a vice principal writing out a demerit slip for some kid. Ennis was just shaking the voice out of his head when the vice principal began speaking.
"I don't care if it's only your second week here, Robbie, fisticuffs are not acceptable at Laurel."
"It's Bobby," the boy huffed.
Ennis had finished his clean-up but he didn't move from his spot. There was no mistake. The last time he'd seen Bobby, Bobby'd been about twelve, but he'd been living in Massachusetts at the time, visiting Jack from there.
Bobby'd stayed with Jack two weeks in the summer and some holidays ever since Jack and Lureen divorced what seemed like eons ago, when Bobby was just a little baby. Bobby knew Jack was gay, something Ennis could not get his mind around. If his girls knew-- if his girls thought he was gay... A few years ago Bobby got involved in sports at home and stopped coming to visit regularly. Jack'd taken it hard, but tried not to show it, especially not to Bobby.
The last time Ennis'd seen Bobby, the boy'd been dragged to Ennis's on one of his visits, as he usually was, and had publicly declared Ennis "dad's boyfriend" in the Denny's down on Rt. 1. Ennis-- he'd just... left the restaurant. Jack'd taken Bobby home, and never brought him over again. Ennis missed the little bugger, but Ennis figured he was no good to be around a kid, corrupting him to think and say things like that. Or maybe he was just a coward, like Jack'd said at that last fight... might be even Bobby was braver than Ennis and Jack didn't want Bobby to learn Ennis's yellow-bellied ways.
Bobby must have noticed his stare, though, because it was being returned now. And Ennis was feeling about as foolish as a man could feel for throwing his man's son out of his life on account of a kid's remark at a Denny's, and a remark that was as good as true, because there was nothing but sadness and accusation in the eyes that were staring back at him, and they weren't kid's eyes no more, but the eyes of a man who knew what was what.
For the first time Ennis wondered if Bobby's sudden lack of regular visits had anything to do with him.
"Bobby?" Well, they couldn't go on staring forever.
"Mr. Ennis." It's what Bobby'd always called him.
"You... you're going to school here? I thought you were living in--"
"Massachusetts? We just moved here, actually. Mom got a real good job offer."
"Does your dad know?"
"Not yet."
Ennis couldn't stand the amount of sadness he was seeing in Bobby's eyes. "You gotta go to class or something?"
"It's my lunch, actually."
"Mine too," Ennis nodded.
The vice principal cleared her throat.
Ennis turned to her. "Ms. Turner. Bobby here's a, uh, family member. You think I could borrow him for lunch?"
Ms. Turner sighed. "I guess maybe a role model couldn't hurt him. Just borrow him elsewhere than the main office, please, Mr. del Mar."
"Alright. Come on, Bobby, show you the boiler room."
Bobby shouldered his back pack, shoved his ear-length dark hair back where he wanted it, and lumbered along behind Ennis. Halfway there, though, his steps slowed until they stopped entirely, and he said, "Hey man, thanks for helping me skip class. I owe you." Bobby turned and walked quickly away.
"Wait!" Ennis called after him. But like his father, another Twist back was turned from Ennis and leaving. Ennis swore under his breath.
That night when Ennis got home, he nearly called Jack for the first time in, well, in possibly ever. No, Ennis had called him a couple times through the years, when he got the new apartment, when the divorce went through. Once, Christ, some other guy'd answered the phone, out of breath. Maybe Ennis had meant some of the things he'd said to Jack during that fight, after all. But Bobby didn't know the names of any of those guys. Ennis didn't have to ask Jack or Bobby to know that. He just knew. Bobby hadn't stopped visiting his dad on account of what any of those guys had done.
But he decided not to call. Right now, that memory fresh on his tongue like a sour taste, he couldn't anyway. What if Ed picked up?
But something was up with Bobby, and Ennis was determined to find out what. The kid had always been a good one, getting high grades. He didn't skip classes or get into fights.
The next day at school, Ennis waited, slowly unloading the trash after classes, by the main exit. Most of the kids left through here, but it was a big school, and the chances of seeing Bobby weren't great. He knew he should wait until later like usual, when the halls were less crowded. Didn't matter, 'cause he didn't see Bobby.
The week went on like that until, one day, Ennis was walking through the hallway on his way to check out the heating in a classroom the teacher said was mighty cold when he ran into Bobby. Literally. His head was down as it usually was, though he was deeper in thought this time. He'd missed seeing his girls at Christmas this time, and he was thinking about whether they would be able to visit (and whether he even wanted them to given the state of his apartment) for Junior's birthday when he collided with the shaggy-haired boy.
"Whoah there. Sorry about--" Ennis started before he saw who it was.
"Oh, hey." Bobby was already scurrying away.
But Ennis'd seen what he'd seen. "Bobby! Wait. Where'd you--" Ennis darted an arm out as Bobby dodged, but Ennis's reflexes had always been particularly good. He caught a black shirtsleeve and held firm. It was during class and Bobby was cutting again, but Ennis didn't notice that. His attention was arrested by the swollen welt around Bobby's left eye. "What happened."
"Nothing."
"You get in another fight?"
"I didn't get in any fight! I didn't get in that fight last week, either! He shoved me!" Under this teenage exterior, Ennis saw the whiny twelve-year-old he remembered peaking through, and he knew Bobby wouldn't lie to him. Or at least, the Bobby he'd used to know wouldn't lie to him. But he'd severed those ties himself. Ennis fought down the regret, wishing he could take back every minute of the years this boy had probably thought back on some Denny's in Maryland with a heap of emotions and wondering what he'd done wrong. Jack should have left Ennis then, not years later.
After a moment of silence, measuring Bobby's words, the pleading in Bobby's eyes, Ennis let go. "Alright. I believe you. But then where'd you get the shiner?"
"I dunno, I guess I... I tripped. I mean, I was playing baseball and I fell."
"You fell?"
"Yeah."
"Playing baseball."
"That's what I said."
"In the middle of winter."
Bobby just stared at his shoes.
"You are the worst liar I ever met."
"You aren't-- I don't have to tell you shit. You aren't anything to me." But Bobby didn't leave.
They stood a moment longer before Ennis started. "I'm less than anything, Bob. Don't know how much you been keeping up with your dad, but you say I'm not anything to you, and it's surely true. Guess I'm still your dad's friend is all." That part was true, because Ennis'd been trying hard to be that much, and right now he was grateful he had that much to offer to Bobby.
"Yeah?" Bobby's eyes snapped up, a paler blue than his dad's, but deep with emotion.
"Yeah."
"Sorry to hear that." He sounded as genuine as a man could sound.
Ennis nodded. "And I sure am sorry to hear how tough that winter baseball season is being on you."
Bobby smiled then, just a little one, but it was the first time Ennis had seen Bobby's smile since he'd seen the boy a week ago, and it was worth seeing. Not a little tyke no more, for sure, but a man with a smile.
"Bobby, you want to tell me the truth?"
The smile dropped right off.
"Something happen here at school? Someone picking on you?"
"No! No, school's fine. Ken shoved me, but we were just horsing around, not even fighting! Ms. Turner blew that way out of proportion!"
"Someone else then? Someone at home?"
"No! Just leave me alone, alright?" Bobby finally shoved off of Ennis, who hadn't been holding him at all, and ran down the hallway as if heading for somewhere, though it couldn't be class if he was cutting. Ennis stared after him wondering what he'd said, but remembering having a conversation not too different with another blue-eyed boy in another high school. Back then, though, when he'd found out Jack's dad was beating on him, he'd been too young and powerless and stupid to know what to do about it. Now he was the adult.
That night Ennis got home and he did call Jack. No one answered but Jack. There were no background sounds, just Jack and what sounded like a dishwasher. Ennis kept the conversation short, just long enough to ask if Lureen had ever remarried. Jack said yeah, but only in the last year, some guy named Jay, why. But Ennis hung up before Jack got to thinking too hard.
