So, as you might have guessed, updates are going to take a while. This is the first story I've tried to write in so much depth, so I'm going to take my time and write mega chapters as opposed to shorter ones. I'm aiming at 10,000 words per chapter. This chapter was re-edited because I accidentally called Larry a blonde when I imagined her a gorgeous Emma Stone-esque shade.
Enjoy.
-TheseLonelySkies
*.*.*
Uncle Billy. I need to go to a party. Well, I don't need to. I don't even really want to. But I have these friends now, you see, and the thing with friends is that you have to do things with them outside of school or else they think you're boring. And then I start thinking I'm boring. Plus there's this boy who's flirting with me and I wish he wouldn't because it makes a pretty girl ugly with envy. The boy is the one who invited me to the party. So. Can I go?
"Uncle Billy," I began at breakfast, "Can I go out Saturday night?"
His eyes cut to me across the table. "Where?"
"Just outside Forks."
"Where outside Forks?"
"Um." Pass? "It's a house party. I think I have an invitation somewhere." Or did I throw that out with my Kitkat wrapper?
"Who's party?"
"A guy named Mac."
He paused to sip his coffee. Black. Like his eyes. Bitter. Like his relationship with his only son.
"Who would you be going with?"
"Some friends from school. Larry said I can stay at her house."
And in comes Jacob, dishevelled again. He smiled tiredly at me. "Morning, Mu."
"Morning. Coffee's done."
He yawned. "I think... I think I'll just go to bed. Embry will take Mu to school."
"Dishes are here," Billy barked after him as he retreated. Jacob raised a weary hand in acknowledgement, continuing on his way.
Billy turned back to me. "You can go."
"Thanks."
"No drinking."
"Okay."
"No sex."
"Um." Uncle Billy, I'm not a slut. "Wasn't planning on it."
He regarded me over his coffee mug as he raised it for another sip. "Good."
Embry turned out to be one of the people I met on the beach. He pulled up beside the house and tooted, grinning from the interior of a car that seemed far too small for his bulky frame. Was everyone around here into weightlifting or something?
He wore a shirt and scruffy denim shorts that were entirely inappropriate for such a cold day, but once I climbed into his crappy car I understood why the jacket I wore wouldn't be necessary. His heating was cranked right up, filling the whole car with warmth and a woodsy scent. I shrugged out of my top layer and buckled in as he reversed.
"Mu, right?" he said, eyes scanning the road as he backed onto it. "As in pounamu."
"Um. Right," I replied, surprised. "I think you're the first one to remember that."
He smiled cryptically. "Oh, I doubt that. So, how's the pale school?"
"Racism goes both ways," I informed him. "It's alright. I've only been two days."
"Give it time," Embry said ominously.
I glanced over and saw that he was teasing. "You taking bets on how long I'll last or something?"
"You bet," he replied with another grin. "Jake reckons you'll last until senior year. Billy bet on graduation. Quil bet on next Tuesday."
"And you?"
"Two months. I figure that's enough time to realise that people on the reserve are way cooler."
I laughed. "People in particular?"
"Or just me," he drawled. "Naw. I'm just kidding. But seriously, you should get to know some more people around here."
"Like who?"
"Like..." he paused to think. "Like Nessie. And me and Quil. And Seth."
"Nessie?" I frowned, trying to remember what Jake had said. "Isn't that Jake's friend's kid?"
He raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Yeah. She's cool."
"Isn't she... um... ten?"
He shifted in his seat. "Something like that. But she's really smart for her age."
I hummed neutrally. A ten year old wasn't really a compelling argument for me to quit Forks. "So. Um. My choices are a variety of pale faces or a ten year old and three boys?"
His lips twitched. "And your problem is?"
And a few seconds later, "She's pretty cool for a ten year old."
"Don't you have anyone to offer who isn't part of your pack?" I asked.
He flinched, swerving a little. "Uh... what do you mean?" His voice was slightly higher than normal.
"Everyone you're offering is in the same group of people," I explained, wondering why he sounded strange. "Surely other kids live here."
Embry visibly relaxed. "Oh! Yeah. Sure. But they're not as cool."
I rolled my eyes to myself and looked out my window.
"So..." Embry said, drawing out the word. "Any boys at this school of yours?"
"Um. Seeing as it's co-ed, yes."
He reached over to poke my side. "You know what I mean. Any boys caught your eye?"
I frowned. "I, um, really don't think that's any of your business."
"It's not," he agreed cheerfully. "But I sure am nosy."
"No," I replied after a long pause.
"No?" We pulled into the parking lot, and Embry turned to look at me as he cut the engine. "Well, that's good then."
"Um. Why?" I asked, a little uncomfortable.
He gave me that cryptic grin again. "No reason."
Someone tapped on the car window, making me jump. I turned and saw Larry waving at me through the glass. She glanced at Embry curiously, lingering on him for a moment, before moving to the side so I could open my door. On the other side, Embry was getting out as well and striding around to her with a big smile.
"Hi," he said a little breathlessly, eyes roving her face.
"Hey," Larry replied, fiddling with the hem of her woollen dress. It was blue and white striped and she wore bright red stockings underneath it to match the bright red buttons stitched in single file down from her neckline to her waist.
"Um," I said, "This is Embry. Embry, this is Larry."
"Hi," he repeated.
"Hey," she returned again before glancing at me. "Uh, Bree's on the steps waiting for us, I just came over so that you'd know we were here..."
Warmth. Warmer than Embry's car. I had friends who looked out for me on icy mornings.
"Um. Thanks." I slung my bag over my shoulder and glanced at Embry. "Thanks for the ride, Embry."
"You're welcome," he said without looking away from Larry, who was studying him from under her eyelashes, a hint of a blush on her cheeks.
"Bye," she said with a smile, turning to leave.
"Bye," he replied.
I turned back when we were halfway across the parking lot and halfway through Larry's story about falling on her face during some complicated and French-sounding ballet movement. Embry was still rooted to the spot, watching Larry. He noticed me looking and gave me a sad smile.
So. Embry himself wasn't the reason he wanted me to stay at La Push.
Who or what was?
Larry stopped me as we reached the end of the parking lot and glanced back to where Embry was now talking on his cellphone.
"Mu," she said, "Who was that?"
"Um," I said, confused, "Didn't I just introduce you guys?"
"I know his name," she said. "But who is he to you?"
"He's friends with my cousin," I told her. "To be honest, this is the second time I've ever met him."
"Oh." She peeked his way again. "So... he lives in La Push?"
"Yes."
"He's very good looking."
Was he? I could honestly say I hadn't thought about his looks at all. "If you say so."
She sighed. "Bet he'd run a mile if he knew how much of a freak I am."
"Um." How are you a freak?
"My ballet," she explained. "The fact I have no down time and hardly any fun scares most boys off before anything happens."
"Embry's nice," I offered unhelpfully. After all, my brief and confusing car ride with him made me an expert, right?
"It's not meant to be," she said dismissively.
But she still turned around and watched him get into his car and drive off, a thoughtful expression on her face. I fidgeted uncomfortably until she turned with another sigh towards the buildings.
"Welcome to Tuesday morning," she said glumly.
*.*.*
Every morning, as it turned out, was destined to be rather similar to Monday. The only discernible difference was that I knew my way to English, although Larry still waited for me and escorted me just in case.
It still felt weird to have a locker. I was so used to the familiar weight of my bag of books bumping into my thigh with every step, to the feeling of keeping one shoulder especially hitched so that I didn't sag under said weight, that to walk around without any bag at all was completely foreign. I kept getting the feeling that I was forgetting something, because I just wasn't used to not having all my things with me.
To be honest, I could have had a bag anyway. It would save me carrying my books. But I had to conserve space in my suitcase for important things like underwear and my mum's old music box, so the bag I used to have remained in New Zealand, packed in a box at Dad's new house, waiting for me to unpack it should I ever return. The bag I currently used was of the lame supermarket freebie variety and so was shunned to the depths of my locker until home time.
I regretted the decision to leave it behind when a girl with long, incredibly straight, incredibly blonde hair slammed into my shoulder in passing.
I spun with the impact, dropping my load of books, a pencil case, and a scientific calculator on the floor. For a moment I froze, blinking at my things. Then I knelt with a sigh and began to gather them into a tidy, manageable pile.
"You okay?"
Glancing up, I saw Sally standing with a hand on one hip, alternating between eyeing me speculatively and frowning down the corridor. "What a bitch," she muttered. "Seriously, you need help?"
"I'm fine," I assured her, straightening and clutching my small pile protectively lest someone else repeat the slamming action.
She appraised me. "I saw the hit and run. I know who did it. She headed right for you."
"Who?"
"Jade. Llana's right hand." Sally dug in her pocket and offered me a stick of gum. "Looks like you've made quite an impression. Usually they start with more subtle means of torture."
"Torture?" I snorted. "Um, she walked into me. It's not a big deal."
"To you it's not," she said. "To the rest of us..."
Annoyed that she was being dramatic but extremely curious regardless, I took the gum and looked at her expectantly. "What?"
"Llana Stanley is starting a war," she replied.
"A war," I said skeptically.
Sally shrugged. "It's happened before. Ask Breanna."
"Did Llana pick on her?"
"By proxy," she replied. "She was really after her brother, Max, because he dumped her and no one dumps Llana Stanley. So she decided to make him miserable, but he went to college pretty much right after so he was beyond her reach. Or so he thought."
"What happened?"
"Well, like I said, no one dumps Llana Stanley. Especially not the star quarterback. She had this whole cliche relationship going on in her mind, and then he went and ruined it. So she decided to get even. You know Better than Revenge, Taylor Swift?"
"Yeah."
"There was no other girl to get him alone and steal him," she said, "But believe me when I say there is nothing she does better than revenge. She made Breanna's life hell as soon as she stepped into the school grounds. Rumour has it she even has dirty pictures of Breanna from when Breanna was dating this Senior guy called Billy - he's gone now, works at a Starbucks in Seattle - and if Breanna ever so much as steps out of line, she'll upload them to the school server and send it to every male student, teacher, and janitor."
"How do you get all of this?" I asked, fascinated.
She shrugged again. "I make it my business to know the gory side of Llana Stanley. She called me a dyke. Know your enemy and all that crap."
"You're very nonchalant about this."
"I have to be," she answered, eyebrow quirked as if to say duh. "Otherwise she gets under my skin and feeds off of my decaying soul."
"Nice imagery."
"Thank you."
"So..." I started walking, heading for my locker so I could dump my books before lunch. "To sum your points up, Llana Stanley is a vengeful, spiteful, parasitic being who will stop at nothing and no one to get what she wants, including revenge?"
"Precisely. Your thoughts on the matter?"
I shook my head. "I still think it's no big deal."
"Famous last words," she remarked dryly.
The cafeteria was almost full by the time we got there. Sally steered me into the line, chattering about whether Elemeno P making a comeback would be good or not, and had I seen Kimbra live? She seemed disappointed at my lack of knowledge about New Zealand bands.
"Six60?" she demanded. "What about them?"
I shrugged. "I think my cousin saw them live, once. They're cool."
"They're cool?" she repeated incredulously. "Seriously, I am going to educate you in music. Come over to my house on Saturday."
"I'm going to Larry's," I said. "She's taking me to Mac's."
"Then I'm going to Larry's too," she said grimly. "And I am bringing you a CD."
"Whatever," I said, laughing. "I don't have a CD player, by the way."
She flapped a hand dismissively at me. "Burn them onto a computer. Shove them in a DVD player. Lick them and see if my musical taste will rub off on you."
"Creative," I said.
We turned and walked over to the table we sat at yesterday. Larry waved as we drew closer, scooting over to make room for me.
But on the other side, Breanna filled the gap and slid her bag where she had sat previously. She looked right past me. Larry looked at her in confusion, her brow furrowing. The twins looked at each other, then at Chris, who was studying his lunch tray intently. I came to a halt at the edge of the table, puzzled.
What had changed?
"Breanna," Sally said. "Move."
Breanna's glance flickered to her innocently. "For who?"
"For Mu," she said.
Breanna blinked. "Mu?"
"Breanna," Sally said dangerously, "Don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Breanna!"
"Mu, come and sit beside me," Nate said suddenly, patting the bench.
"You don't want to do that," Tom objected. "Come and sit by me, Mu."
"Thomas smells, and I am far more devilishly handsome," Nate said with a wink.
"I smell lovely and Nathaniel does not have the cranial capacity to carry out socially adequate conversations," Tom said.
"Thomas," Nate turned to his brother. "I can only think of one solution to our dilemma."
"I believe I have reached the same conclusion, Nathaniel."
"Mu," Nate said.
"You can sit between us," Tom finished.
I didn't know whether to laugh at them or cry with gratitude for what they were doing. I settled for grinning and sitting between them.
"Tom doesn't really smell," Nate confided in a whisper when I was seated. "But I'm still the handsomest."
Breanna sniffed and toyed with her food.
Sally slammed her tray on the table, smiling with satisfaction when Bree flinched. Then she sat down and started murmuring to her. Bree nodded, then muttered something back. Sally looked furious. Her head turned to look at something or someone.
"Mu." Nate nudged me. "Your boy is watching you."
I followed his gaze to see Sid, who smiled at me, obviously not ashamed at being caught out. I blushed and went back to eating.
"He probably thinks you're a pimp," Nate continued.
Tom tutted. "Probably wondering why 10s like us are sitting with a seven like Nate."
"10s like you?" Nate scoffed. "Hey, Mu, don't look now, but I think his guard dog is watching too."
"Llana?" I guessed wryly.
"You really do know how to make friends, don't you?" he said mockingly.
I sighed and risked another glance at Sid, who was now talking to Llana. "Doesn't matter. I'm not interested in either of them."
"Ahh," he said, "but they are oh-so interested in you."
Tom slid his pudding cup to me. "I'm sorry about Bree. She's usually a nice person, until Llana gets her claws in."
"She started early," Nate added. "Second day here and you're already on her hit list. I'm impressed."
"Do you need bodyguards?"
"Will two strong, muscular, handsome, rather similar men suffice?"
"Make that one strong, muscular, handsome man, and one scrawny chicken."
"Thomas! You're not that scrawny!"
I laughed. "I don't need bodyguards. I'm fine."
"Eat," Tom ordered, removing the top and stabbing the spoon in for me. "You can't handle Llana Stanley on an empty stomach."
*.*.*
I zipped my bag up and sighed, wondering if my dress would wrinkle by the time I got to Larry's, and if this was a heels or flats kind of party, and if she had two sockets in her bathroom because I needed to straighten or curl or do something to my hair.
I slung the strap over my shoulder and walked out into the hallway.
"Jacob, I'm ready to go!"
"Hang on a minute," he called back, sounding frustrated. Frowning, I walked into the living room to see him and Embry sitting on opposite couches, apparently just finishing a deep conversation. They both didn't look happy.
"Where are you off to?" Embry enquired, forcing a smile.
I chose not to pursue whatever they had been talking about. "Larry's house. You know, the one in the parking lot?"
Embry knew. He'd been driving me every day since, and he got the same look on his face every time he saw her. Kind of like the one he wore now. Happy, content, like the very thought of her made his whole body relax.
"How is she?" he asked, failing to hide his interest.
Jacob snorted.
"She's fine," I replied, amused. "Jacob? You almost ready?"
"I'm good to go," he assured me, standing. "The Rabbit's unlocked. I'll be out in a minute, okay?"
The Rabbit's smell soothed me. It smelled different now than it had yesterday before Jacob had driven away for a few hours. Sweetness lingered over the woods-and-leather scent, a light perfume. A feminine presence? I wondered suddenly if Jacob had a girlfriend. Or maybe he still held a candle for this Bella girl?
Something snapped loudly in the small copse of trees around the side of Billy's yard. I froze, then peeked over my shoulder in the wing mirror. Nothing there. I turned and peered through the late afternoon shadows.
Still nothing.
Weird.
I got in and slammed the door shut, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling. Something was watching me. Someone was watching me.
I rummaged in my bag for my notebook, ideas blossoming in my head.
The truck sagged as Jacob swung himself in. "What are you doing?"
"Writing," I replied absently, finishing my sentence and shutting the battered pages. "Um. What were you and Embry talking about?"
As I watched, his lips pressed together and he looked angry for a second before he relaxed and reached to insert his keys. "Nothing much. Just some community work. The Council want us to build a garden, but they keep changing their mind on where."
A garden. A garden?
I slid my notebook back into my bag and clipped myself in as he reversed out through the gate. "Oh. Cool."
"Gardens aren't really that cool," he said wryly, glancing sidelong at me before accelerating onto the big old road. "Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah," I said, surprised. "Why?"
"Just wondering if you're nervous," he said. "You're quiet. For you."
"Oh," I repeated. "Um. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
I shrugged, looking out the window. I hadn't been thinking about my nerves until he brought it up.
"So," he said after a while, "How long have you had that music box?"
I flinched, startled, turning my head sharply to stare at him. "What?"
He frowned, glancing between me and the white line stretching in front of us. "Your music box? I can hear you playing it sometimes."
Oh. I looked down to stare at my hands. Overreaction, Mu. Again. "Um. Not long."
"Oh."
"It was my mum's."
"Oh. Oh. Crap. Sorry, Mu, I didn't think..."
"It's alright," I mumbled. "I'll get used to it sometime."
Scenery rolled by in blurs of green and brown and paddock until we reached Forks. I gazed at the uniform little houses, giving Jacob the directions that Larry had given me.
We pulled up outside her house. I stilled for a moment, breathing in the comforting leather-and-Jacob smell.
"Mu."
I glanced at Jacob. His gaze was trained on his hands, two and ten on the wheel.
"My mom died too," he said to the wheel. "It was a long time ago, so long ago that I can't even remember what she looked like without a photo there to help me out. I was just a kid. But I still expect to see her sometimes, on the couch, reading some book or just talking to Dad. I know it's weird."
"Um..."
"What I'm trying to say," he said, turning to lock eyes with me, "is that it's okay to be weird about it, because I'm living proof that you might never get used to the idea of not having your mom around. So you never need to feel like you should cover up that you're sad around me. I get it."
I fled.
*.*.*
"So," Larry said conversationally as we straightened our hair, "Are you going to kiss Sid?"
I snorted. "I've only talked to him like five times. Of course I'm not going to kiss him."
"He likes you."
"So?"
"He walks you to Homeroom every morning."
"So?"
"So..." she ran her brush through her long, red hair. "You think he does that to everyone?"
"I don't care," I said. "If he wants to kiss me, he's going to have to wait a while."
"He'll wait," she said confidently. "You're the first bit of fresh meat Forks has had for three years."
I set down the straightener and switched it off. "You make me feel so special."
"You're welcome. So..."
I sighed. This was beginning to get irritating. "Yes?"
"Do you think Embry will come?"
"I didn't think he got invited."
"He did."
"He knows Mac?"
"No," she said, eyes fixed on her reflection. "But I invited him."
"When?"
"When I saw him at the grocery store," she replied.
I raised my eyebrows. "Love over a quart of milk?"
"Shut up, asshole."
I shut up and started outlining my eyes with kohl.
"But seriously," Larry said after a few seconds, "do you think he'll come?"
"I don't know."
But I did know. I knew from the stupid smile on Embry's face whenever he heard Larry's name that he would come.
"You like him," I stated.
She shrugged. "He's smokin'."
"You're not that shallow, are you?"
Larry shrugged again. "I don't know. There's just... something about him. I've only met him a few times but I really, really want to kiss him."
"That's called lust," I said dryly.
"Asshole," she repeated, blushing. "But you have to admit, he's gorgeous."
"Mmm," I said. "I think it'll look like he's kidnapping you. He's huge."
"I like that," she said. "Most of the time I'm taller than boys. It'll be nice to feel... small."
"Like a child?"
She glared at me in the mirror. "Who is Rum-Eyed Boy?"
I paused in my careful application. "What?"
Larry grinned triumphantly. "Ha! You do like someone!"
"Do not," I retorted.
"But if I recall," she continued, as if I hadn't spoken, "Sid's eyes are green."
"Hazel," I corrected. "And where did you hear about Rum-Eyed Boy?"
"You left your notebook in English the other day," she said nonchalantly. "I took a peek. You've written a lot about him."
"He's... interesting to write about."
"He sounds like an ass," she said.
I laughed. "He kind of is. But I have a theory that he never used to be."
"What do you mean?"
I leaned forward to continue my makeup, sighing. "His broken shards lie at my feet, waiting. I cannot move for fear of pain. I stare at the mess, and I see myself."
"Deep," she commented. "What does that mean?"
"Something broke him," I said simply. "And he seems to want me to put him back together. But I can't."
"You said you see yourself," she said. "Are you broken too?"
"I'm mending myself," I replied. "He's given up."
"What broke you? If you don't mind me asking."
"My mum," I said.
"What'd she do?"
"She died."
"I'm sorry."
I stood back to check my handiwork. "Don't be. So, do you think flats or heels?"
"Flats," she said decisively. "It's outside."
"What if it rains?"
Larry snorted. "Get drunk fast, then you won't care."
"I'm not meant to be drinking."
"Are you on meds?"
"No, it's just that Uncle Billy said..."
She glanced at me again. "Mu, you're staying at my house. If you want to drink, you can. Your uncle won't see you until tomorrow afternoon at least, right? So just drink heaps of water before you go to bed, and you'll be fine."
"I don't have any alcohol," I mumbled.
"Mac always supplies some," she said dismissively. "And plus, I have vodka we can mix."
"Badass."
"That's me." She pouted at her reflection. "What do you think? Does this scream, 'Embry, kiss me now!'?"
"Do you want him to pash your face off?"
"I don't know," she groaned, suddenly looking nervous. "I mean, I do, but what if he doesn't want to? And what if he's a bad kisser? What if he doesn't come?"
"He'll come," I assured her. "He asked about you today."
"Really?" Her face lit up. "What did he say?"
"He asked how you were."
"What did you say?"
"I said you were fine."
She groaned again. "Mu! You should've made me sound more exciting!"
I quirked my eyebrows again. "I'm sorry. I'll be sure to mention your penchant for shark wrestling next time."
"Whatever. Are you read to go?"
"Sure," I drawled, running my fingers through my hair. It really was getting long.
"Your hair is so nice," Larry said enviously. "My hair's too stressed to grow that long. Plus, it'd make a massive bun when I do it for ballet."
"Thanks," I replied absently. "Flats, you say?"
"Yep. And a jacket. It's going to be freezing."
"That's so weird," I mumbled, shaking my head as I exited Larry's enormous bathroom.
"What is?" she called, pouting at herself and picking up a tube of lipstick.
"It's coming into winter."
"And?"
"And it's September!"
"So?"
"So..." I snatched up my puffer jacket and marched back into the bathroom to see how it looked. "I'm from the other side of the equator. Heading into December is when it gets warm."
Larry rolled her eyes. "Oh, how crap, you get to experience a white Christmas like every other normal kid."
"I go to the beach on Christmas Day," I protested. "Do you know how depressing that's going to be when the beach is covered in snow?"
She shrugged. "I like the snow."
"I've never seen it."
"Weirdo."
"Larielle," her dad called from the door of her bedroom, "Are you ready yet?"
"Five minutes!" she yelled back, nearly deafening me.
I blinked and rubbed my ear pointedly.
"You can't wear that," she said.
"You said it was going to be freezing. Hence the jacket."
"I meant a stylish jacket." She flounced over to her enormous closet, walking in and rummaging through.
Larry's room was just a tad different from mine.
"Here," she said, her voice muffled. She emerged and tossed something black at me.
The scent of leather wafted up, and I realised that it was a bomber jacket. The leather was soft and supple under my hands. I shedded my puffer jacket and slid into the leather one.
"That's better," Larry said approvingly.
*.*.*.*
I regretted conceding to Larry's jacket demands as soon as we stepped out of the car. It was freezing.
"Don't drink too much," her dad instructed her. "You can't have a hangover when your mom gets back."
"She's coming back late," Larry protested. "She won't even see me hungover!"
"Larielle..."
"Okay!" she interrupted, flashing him a grin through the wound-down window. "Love you, Daddy."
"Love you too, sweetie. Take care of your friend."
"Okay."
"And yourself."
"I will."
"And have fun."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm leaving now, Daddy, I suggest you do the same." She linked her arm through mine and dragged me towards the party. "So, have you ever been to a party in the woods before?"
"No."
"You're in for a treat," she promised. "It's so creepy when you get away from the music."
"I thought the party was at his house?"
She laughed. "That's what the parentals think. But seriously, do you see any partying here?"
I looked around and shook my head. "So, what, they just go into the woods? How do they have any music?"
"Cars," Larry explained. "Mac's truck has a huge amp on the back."
Oh.
She squinted through the trees as we passed into the woods behind Mac's house. "I can hear it, but I can't see it yet... you?"
"Um. No."
"Keep walking, amigo," said a familiar voice, and I looked to my side with surprise to see that Nate had materialised.
"Where's Tom?" I asked, distangling my arm from Larry's to look around.
"Right here!" Tom said cheerfully from behind me, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me.
I squealed, freezing for fear of him dropping me. "Tom! Put me down!"
"I quite like you at this height," he said conversationally, turning us to face Nate. "What do you think?"
"Effective battle armour," Nate remarked.
"Do you realise what this means, dear Nathaniel?"
"What would that be, dear Thomas?"
"I won't have to beat girls off of me with a stick anymore, Mu will do it for me!" He squeezed me tight enough for me to squeak again, then set me down. "Mu, I think you need to take tips from Larry."
I scowled at him. "What?"
"Allow me to demonstrate," he said, then turned to Larry and bowed graciously. "May I have the honour of this dance?"
She curtsied, mocking and graceful at the same time. "Of course."
And then she took several quick steps towards him before leaping. He caught her and spun her around, somehow ending up with her on his shoulders, assuming a regal pose before dissolving into giggles.
"Ta-da!" he sang out, doing jazz hands.
"Don't be too impressed," Nate stage-whispered. "They practised that a lot."
"You can put me down now, Tom," Larry said.
Tom dropped to his knees, allowing Larry to disembark. He straightened and frowned at me and Nate. "Enough hijinks, you two. We have a party to attend! Milady?" he extended his arm to Larry, ever the gallant gentleman, and they both marched ahead.
"Come on," Nate said, crouching down. "I'll give you a piggy back, and we'll sprint past them."
I clambered on, giggling in his ear. I particularly like the part of this plan that didn't require any effort from me.
"Three, two, one... BREAK!" Nate yelled, surging forward. I jiggled around on his back, clinging on desperately to his shoulders as I tried to breath through my laughter. Tom and Larry shouted after us, and I looked back to see them not far behind, Larry now on Tom's back shouting directions and pointing at us.
"Go, Nate!" I cried, spying lights through the trees. "We're nearly there!"
"Good!" he replied breathlessly, "Because I'm nearly - SHIT!"
We tumbled down into the needles and grass. I couldn't stop laughing, rolling off of Tom and groaning as my aches and pains from the fall shot through my limbs.
"Losers!" Tom called as he and Larry staggered past, navigating around us.
"Are you okay?" Nate asked between curse words.
"Yep." I sat up and started running my hands through my hair to get the pine needles out.
"Good," he said, "Because I feel like I just got completely squashed."
"Baby," I said.
"My God!" he shouted, startling me.
"Um. What?" I asked nervously.
He sat up too. "You're teasing me! Mu, this is enormous! I was beginning to think you were too shy to have fun!"
I shoved him back into the ground and got up before he could repay the favour, brushing myself off. "Come on, you idiot."
"Mu!" he called after me, grabbing my arm. "I know we just met, but I need a wingman that isn't Tom, because as soon as he realises I like someone he pretends to be me the moment my back is turned and makes me out to be an asshole."
"Um. Harsh," I commented. "What do I have to do?"
"Keep Tom away," he said, "And give me advice on this one girl I've had my eye on for a while."
The one girl turned out to be a pretty redhead that I recognised from Gym. She served lethal spikes in volleyball. I tried to be on her team whenever the opportunity arose.
"What should I do?" he demanded.
I glanced at him, incredulous. "Um. Go say hello?"
"Brilliant," he said. "Come with me."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because," I said slowly, "If I go with you, she'll assume I'm with you. Understand?"
"Oh. Oh." He glanced over at her again, then back at me. "That's genius. You're genius. I'm going to go and say hi."
"Don't take too long," I begged. "I don't know anyone here."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," he said cryptically, then boosted over to Red before I could question him.
"Mu!"
I turned and saw Sid coming towards me, smiling. Please don't let Llana be here, please God, don't let Llana Stanley be at this party..
He held a bottle out to me.
I shook my head. "I'm not drinking."
"Neither. Read the label."
In the meagre light provided by the headlights of three parked trucks through the trees, I saw that it was grapefruit juice. Oh.
"Thanks," I said, feeling stupid. "So, why aren't you drinking?"
He shrugged. "I don't like alcohol. You?"
"My uncle doesn't like alcohol."
"Fair enough. Cheers." He touched his bottle to mine. "Did your friends run off?"
"Pretty much," I said. "I was drafted into being Nate's wingman, and I haven't seen Larry since she won the piggy back race."
"Should I ask?"
I shook my head, smiling. "Trust me, it's really not that interesting."
"Okay. So..." he was suddenly focusing very hard on his bottle. "You're not here with some guy then?"
"Would it matter if I was?"
"Are you?"
I studied him for a moment, realising that he was nervous. "No. I'm not."
He smiled at me. "That's a relief."
"Why?"
"Because," he said, tossing what I realised to be an empty bottle into a nearby empty oildrum - which by the noise it made already held several bottles - and holding his hand out to me, "I think you're great, and I was wondering if you wanted to dance."
I bit my lip worriedly, then squished my uncomfortable feelings down. Tonight was about fun, not worries. "Sure," I acquiesced, taking his hand. He laced his fingers through mine and gave them a quick squeeze before leading me towards where a mass of people were moving to the music.
Shouldn't have done that... Now what? I fought to keep my expression bright as we got closer.
But he didn't grab me and try to grind on me like everyone else seemed to be doing. He placed my hands loosely around his neck and placed his own on my waist, and we moved, awkwardly at first until we knew each other's height and feel, to the music.
I focused on the collar of his shirt, which was near enough to eye level. I could feel him smiling at me, looking away, looking back.
Eventually, I raised my eyes to smile back at him, because I appreciated that he was letting me do this on my own terms. I slid my arms more securely around his neck. He slid his arms around my waist, loose enough for me to escape if I wanted, until we were pressed together. Moving together.
I began to wonder if he was a good kisser.
And then I mentally slapped myself for being stupid. I was not going to kiss anyone tonight.
Someone ripped me out of Sid's grasp, and I stumbled back into a broader chest.
"Seth?" I cried, confused as to why he was here, now, looking furious. "What are you doing?"
"What am I doing?" he shouted. "What is he doing! He had his hands all over you!"
And then I got angry too. "So? He had permission! We were dancing!"
"He had... he..." Seth began shaking, and all of a sudden Embry appeared and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Sorry, Mu!" he yelled apologetically over the noise, and then he was dragging Seth away.
I jumped when another arm slid around my waist, but it was just Sid again. I relaxed.
He bent down to speak in my ear, wrapping his other arm around me for good measure. "Who was he?"
"One of Jacob's friends," I replied.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"No! No, he's... I've only met him, like, twice."
"That's good," he said. "Do you want another drink?"
My own drink had long since been drunk and dropped into the gloomy forest floor, so we walked over to one of the trucks, which was apparently Sid's. It looked blue, but i wasn't sure in the dim light. He unlocked it and grabbed out four bottles, handing two to me and keeping the remaining two for himself.
"I feel bad," I said, tiptoeing to speak in his ear so he could hear me as he locked the car again. "I'm pretty much stealing your drinks."
He smiled. "I've still got a four pack of ginger beer left. I think I'll live."
"Badass."
"You know it." Sid looked at the dancing, then back at me. "Hey, do you want me to help you find your friends? They probably think you've been kidnapped."
I considered this. "Well, I spy Nate with his redhead on the dancefloor, and I'm pretty sure if Embry's here, Larry will be busy, which leaves Tom..."
"Screw Tom," he said with a grin. "Come dance."
I eyed the dancefloor, still unsettled by Seth's sudden appearance. "Um. Actually, can we go and find Larry?"
"Sure." And there it was again, the arm snug around my waist. "I think I saw her over by Casey's truck."
*.*.*.*
Larry wiggled her eyebrows at me as we approached. I stepped out of Sid's hold, embarrassed.
"I'm just going to hang with Larry for a bit," I told him, feeling guilty for brushing him off.
He nodded, smiling again. "I'll find you when I crack open the ginger beer. It'll be a real party then."
As he walked away, Larry snatched one of the bottles out of my hand and inspected it.
"Non alcoholic!" she screeched, looking offended. "Mu! No! We're having fun, remember?"
"Sid doesn't drink," I explained.
"Oh..." she said with entirely too much emphasis. "So you're trying to impress him, is that it?"
"No! I didn't want to drink anyway!"
"You're a teenage girl, Mu, that excuse won't fly!"
I frowned. "I'm not trying to impress Sid by not drinking."
"Good!" she said cheerfully, producing what appeared to be a hip flask. "Because I'm spiking your drink."
"Did you see Embry?" I asked her, handing over my bottle in resignation.
She almost dropped her flask. "He's here?"
"Him and Seth."
"Who?"
"Rum-Eyed Boy."
"Oh..." she stuck her tongue out in concentration as she poured, and I began to suspect that she had already had a few nips herself. "Well, I don't really care about him. Seth. I just wish Embry had come over to me."
"He was kind of busy stopping Seth from attacking Sid..."
Larry nearly dropped her flask again. She hastily screwed on the lid and shoved my bottle back at me. "What did you just say?"
"Um..." I took a swig, noting the subtle warmth of the vodka. "Embry stopped Seth from attacking Sid."
"Where? When?"
"On the dance floor... when we were dancing..."
"You were dancing with Sid?"
I nodded, finding my bottle fascinating.
Larry laughed. "Man, that Seth guy must like you bad if he strolled on into a Forks party and tried to break you and Sid apart!"
"I barely know-"
"Barely know him, got it," she said dismissively. She glanced past me and her face lit up. "Oh, sweet Jesus, here comes my future husband."
I turned to see Embry weaving his way through the crowd towards us. He came to stop in front of Larry.
"Hey, Larry," he said, smiling his goofy smile.
"Hey," she said.
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure!" she practically shouted, then giggled nervously. "Um. Yeah. Sure."
"Cool," he said, looking relieved. He guided her away with one hand protectively at the small of her back.
It was then that I realised I was alone. Again. Excellent.
I started back to the party. I was still freezing, and Larry had managed to make me slosh my drink all over my arm in her excitement.
Larry and Embry were sitting on the ground, legs tangled, her arm still tucked in his. She was talking and gesturing animatedly with her free hand, and I could see that he was listening intently. I looked away and scanned the crowd through the trees for people I knew.
Someone slammed into me from behind. My bottle, now mostly empty, went sailing away into the dark and I faceplanted after it. Groaning, I rolled over and looked up to see Llana Stanley and Jade standing over me.
Llana delicately placed one shoe on my stomach and pressed as she leaned in.
"Listen," she said, "and listen good. I saw you dancing with Sid before, you slut. Keep your grubby hands off him."
"Um..."
"I will ruin you," she added, cutting me off. "I've been here longer, I'm prettier, and I have way more influence than a bug like you. Don't. Mess. With. Me."
But I wasn't, was I? She was the one pinning me to the forest floor.
She raised her foot and stomped, hard, on my stomach. The air whooshed out of me and Llana Stanley was gone with a swish of hair and another hissed threat. I curled up in a ball tried frantically to suck in cold air through my teeth but that only made it worse, so I forced myself to take slow breaths, as deep as possible, until I could relax a bit more.
"Mu. Mu!"
I made myself sit up, wincing, as Seth came striding towards me. He dropped to his knees beside me.
"Are you alright? What happened? Was it that jackass? What did he do to you?"
I shook my head. "The correct pronoun would be she, as in she stomped on my stomach."
"A girl did this to you?" he repeated, sounding slightly put out. "I was really hoping it was that jackass, so I could go beat the crap out of him."
"He's not a jackass," I said. "He's nice. And his name is Sid."
"Do you like him?"
I stood up, dusting myself off. "Um. That's not any of your business."
"Does he like you?"
"Does that matter if I don't like him?"
"So you don't?"
I sighed. "I don't know. Why do you care?"
"I care about you."
"Why?"
"Why?" he repeated, frowning. "It's complicated."
"So simplify it."
"We're meant to be in each other's lives."
I snorted.
He looked put out. "Hey! I'm not being an ass, or trying to get your ass, I'm saying that I genuinely know we are meant to... know each other. I'm meant to know you."
"Do you tell futures to everyone, Madam Seth?"
Seth stepped closer and placed one large, warm hand on my shoulder, looking me square in the eye. "Mu, I swear I'm not joking. I want to get to know you. As your friend, your boyfriend, your brother, whatever, I'll do it."
"Um," I said, trying not to notice how nice he smelled, "Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"Because...?"
"Just because."
I frowned. "That's not a satisfying answer."
He shrugged. "I can't explain it yet."
How could I say yes? How could I say no?
I wasn't really in a position to be fussy about my friends.
"Um, okay," I said. "You can be in my life. But you're not my boyfriend. Or my brother."
He stepped back again, dropping his hand. "Friend?"
"We'll see." I turned to leave again, then paused and looked over my shoulder. "And by the way, Seth, you were already in my life. You just didn't know it."
"What do you mean?"
"Um," I shrugged, feeling awkward now at my admission. "I write. Sometimes about me. Sometimes about you."
"Together?"
"No," I said. "Definitely not together."
*.*.*.*
"There you are," Sid said in my ear, making me jump.
I turned to him wide-eyed. "Don't do that!"
He grinned at me. "I had to punish you for vanishing without a trace."
I opened my mouth to answer him, but Llana Stanley arrived with a high-pitched squeal, draping herself around him. "Sid! Come on! Taylor has tequila!"
"I don't drink," he said, frowning.
"Then come and watch me!" she sang, throwing him a dazzling smile.
"Llana," he said, looking amused, "You're a messy drunk."
"A hot mess," she said, looking at him coyly before bursting out into giggles again. "Come on, ditch the noob and come party!"
"Naw," he said, shaking his head, "Mu's the only other sober person here, I think I'll stick with my kindred spirit." And he stepped away from Llana Stanley to wind his arm around my waist again.
Whether I liked him or not, I certainly liked the look on Llana Stanley's face.
"Oh," she said, her mask forming again into a pretty smile. "How nice of you! But seriously," she leaned in and stage-whispered to Seth, "You don't have to hang out with her just because she doesn't have any friends..."
Sid laughed. "Shut up, you mess, go have your tequila shots."
And in the glare Llana Stanley sent me before she turned and sashayed off, I realised that she hadn't been drunk at all.
"Sorry about her," Sid said, "She's just a mean drunk."
Oh, Sid, don't you think I know exactly how mean Llana Stanley is?
"So," he said, "I really want to take you out sometime."
"Um. What?"
"On a date," he said. "Spend some time together. I like you, Mu."
"You don't even know me," I pointed out.
"Which is why I want to spend some time getting to know you," he said. "What do you say?"
"Um..."
"Cinderella!" Tom shouted, running up and snatching me from Sid. "The hour is nigh, your carriage has arrived! Don't be a pumpkin!"
"Bye!" I called guiltily over my shoulder to Sid as he dragged me away.
Sid waved.
"Tom, stop dragging me!" I demanded, trying not to trip over the unseen forest floor. "I can walk!"
"Larry said to get you to the carriage, Cinderella!"
"How much have you had to drink?"
He grinned lopsidedly, slowing down. "A bit. Anyway, Larry's sick, so Natey-Nate called her dad."
"Oh."
Larry really did look miserable by the time we got to her. She was sitting on the curb, leaning against Nate while he rubbed her back soothingly. I wondered what had happened to his redhead.
"Thomas, old bean," Nate said when he saw us, "I think I might be done with this party."
"Didn't get lucky with the ranga, then?"
"How did you..." he began, then sighed. "No, she has a boyfriend in Seattle."
"Can we focus on me being sick?" Larry moaned, her voice muffled by Nate's shoulder.
"Don't worry, darling, the spotlight's on you," he assured her, shifting so that she was more comfortably settled. "Everyone will be talking about you and that guy from the reserve on Monday."
I started, then realised that he was still talking to Larry. What had happened between her and Embry?
"Uuungh," Larry said.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Larry was trying to get away from him and I tried to help Larry," Nate explained glumly. "I'm going to have a black eye for school."
"Oh, shit," I said, noticing for the first time the way his eye was puffy in the orange streetlight. "Did Embry do that?"
"He didn't mean it," Larry said quietly. "It was an accident. He didn't even see Nate."
"He punched me in the face, Larry!" Nate exploded, furious. "Of course he fucking saw me!"
She shook her head, but didn't bother protesting further.
I frowned. The Embry I knew was more goofy than anything else. He certainly wasn't angry. What wasn't Larry telling us?
Headlights illuminated us where we sat, and the thrum of Larry's dad's truck grew louder. He pulled up in front of us. Nate stood, carefully pulling Larry up with him. She stepped out of his hold and grabbed on to me, her breath quick beside my ear as if she was trying not to cry.
What had Embry done?
I let her hold my hand tightly on the way back to her house and valiantly fended off questions from her dad.
"Goodnight girls!" he told us cheerfully when we got inside, leaving me to get Larry up the stairs to her room. I towed her behind me. She wasn't wasted, I had decided, just shocked and scared.
It wasn't until we were lying in the dark that I asked her again what had happened.
"He knew," she said softly.
"Knew what?"
"Me," she said. "He knew what I'd done."
I stilled, then turned slowly to face the vague outline of her bed. "Larry," I said, "What did you do?"
"You can't tell anyone, Mu," she said urgently. "If anyone, anyone, finds out, I'm ruined. My parents will make me stop dancing."
"I won't," I promised somewhat nervously.
There was a click as she switched her bedside lamp on, and then she was pulling up her shirt to show me her ribs. They were covered with lines.
No, not lines. Cuts.
"I don't do it deep," she said, her voice breaking. "But he... he knew."
I swallowed, trying not to panic. "Larry, how long have you been cutting yourself?"
She dropped her shirt back down so it covered her stomach with baggy cotton folds again. "Since I was twelve," she admitted brokenly. And then she started to cry. "W-what am I going t-to do?" she gasped, choking back her sobs. I wriggled out of my sleeping bag and approached her cautiously, sitting beside her.
"You're going to stop," I said firmly. "You're going to stop cutting yourself."
"I've t-tried!" she wailed. "I'm a freak! Embry's going to hate me!"
I shook my head. "Embry likes you, trust me. Why do you think he's been driving me to school so much?"
"He can't," she said, "He doesn't. He was so angry at me. He hates me."
And because I couldn't think of anything to say, because I'd only known this girl a week, because I still didn't really know what had happened between her and Embry and how he had found the cuts on her torso, I rubbed her back and said soothing nonsense until she had calmed down enough to go to sleep.
I lay awake long after.
