In which Ezra is diagnosed, and still drives a hard bargain, Hera nearly spills her drink and Rex and Kanan cope as usual, in the best ways that they can.
Rex is just finishing up picking up the last of the weekend's requisitions and grabbing a snack at the Rebel Encampments central marketplace, when he hears the words from two tables over, via the base's seeming endless scuttlebutt generator. "So, it looks like Bridger's just landed himself in some kind of trouble yet again."
His head cocks to the side, attention sharpening though he determinedly does not look in the direction of other table's occupants – he has no intention of encouraging the gossip spreading around base regarding the Ghost Crew's current situation if it can possibly be prevented. Kanan and the rest of Specter Crew all have more than enough stress to deal with already without this kind of Bantha poodoo adding into it.
Still, it's not like at this point he can actively stop hearing the gossip either. It might be wise to have some clue what other people on Yavin are actually saying, and through whom the news is spreading, so he knows what asses need to have a potential little chat with his boots.
"What happened this time?" The Gold Squadron pilot asked, taking a sip of her milkshake.
"No clue…I wasn't in Medlab myself at the time." Her dark-haired colleague replies, "But my friend Cadgeson was picking something and he swears on his Nonna's secret fudge recipe that Garazeb Orrelios himself came barreling into the place looking for one of the emergency medics to bring them back to the Ghost with him. It sounds as if Bridger took a nasty fall while he was on the ship. The Lasat was apparently 'pretty frantic.'
"Zeb doesn't get frantic. He usually only gets mad."
"Yeah, well, Cadgeson says that this time he essentially did. He was so wound up the medic grabbed a triage kit and left with him in under three minutes."
Rex doesn't bother to wait to hear any more details after that. He's already up and out of his seat by the end of the sentence, bag slung up and onto his right shoulder, mind mentally mapping out the most efficient path through the Yavin 4 Complex as he recreates his current itinerary. He'll stop at his ship first to quickly stow away his newest supplies, then at the set of 'boardrooms' where the rest of the command staff usually holds their daily meetings. If Hera's still there then that'll serve as an indication that the fall was minor enough Kanan didn't bother to inform her and he'll know that the rumors were probably greatly exaggerated. If she's been pulled out her meeting though, well that's another matter entirely.
There's no point getting all riled up either way though until he has more information.
His mind's eye goes back to porcelain fragile-looking child he'd seen while visiting the Ghost earlier this morning, recalling the way the child's balance had wobbled precariously on the galley's countertop as he'd gone looking for his breakfast. Ezra Bridger can be incredibly stubborn sometimes, Rex knows this quite well. The Padawan's always been, in Rex's experience, almost fanatically independent about taking care of himself.
If Hera's not in her meeting, well then in light of what he's just heard, it certainly can't hurt for Rex to just pop over to the Ghost himself for a little while to check up on things. He can always pass it off as just checking back to provide more trip information.
A few minutes later he's abandoning his glance through the windows into the briefing room (No Hera) in favor of heading for The Ghost's assigned Yavin 4 parking berth directly. He doesn't intend to butt in where he's not needed if he can possibly help it - he knows better than to needlessly inflame any high-stress situation by trying to, but that doesn't mean that Hera and Kanan might not be happy to have someone volunteer to act as a - he doesn't exactly know what to call it - a public gatekeeper? To deal with other base crew that will be coming eventually to check in? Because if the rumors keep spreading like they are at present – which he doesn't doubt for a second they will, then he's likely not the only person on base who'll hear and become concerned enough to come or come check in. Ezra and the Ghost crew tend to be pretty well liked by just about everyone, and a bulwark on the boarding ramp may be of tremendous help in the short term while they try and assist Ezra if Rex handles the dispersal of updates and information.
'And if that's not necessary either,' Rex acknowledges to himself with a little shrug, 'Then at least I'll find out straight away what has actually occurred instead of being stuck with half-formed gossip and rumor-mongering.' Which he much prefers to the endless web of maybe's that his own mind currently trying to weave.
When he gets to the Ghost's docking slip roughly seven minutes later it's to see the vessel's disembarkation ramp still open, despite the mild drizzle of rain that's started in the last half or so. Rain on Yavin 4 tends to be relatively frequent, but also incredibly brief, and this particular burst of precipitation has had very little effect on the day's overall visibility, which is why in very short order Sabine catches Rex's eye.
The twenty-one year old is sitting in the cargo main hold, on one of the room's larger boxes, she's gazing down the ramp and out into the continuous drizzle with an anxious little frown on her face, playing with the cuticles of first one than the other of her nervous, restless hands.
"Hey, Wren!" Sabine raises her hand in a half wave of sorts when she sees him, then jumps off the box and heads down the slope of the ramp to meet him as he continues his approach. "Hey, Rex. How're you doing?"
"There's a rumor going around the market that…" He starts.
Sabine cuts him off before he can finish. "It's true. Ezra fell about an hour or so ago while he was in the Galley and busted open his head. Hera, Kanan and the doctor are all with him right now dealing with the gash on the back of his head."
Rex winces at that, "Let me guess? The kid was climbing up somewhere where he shouldn't be?"
"No!" Sabine's reply surprises Rex a little – it's gone from glum to defensive and a little bit angry at the mere suggestion at the same time, which is surprising given her earlier comment. "He…I…There was a water spill on the galley floor that he didn't notice when he carried in the tray of he and Kanan's dishes from breakfast. His view was badly blocked and well…he just slipped, couldn't recover his balance fast when he flailed fast enough. By the time I heard the crash of Hera's china breaking and made it into the galley to find out what had happened there was blood all over both him and the floor. His eyes were closed and…well…he scared the kark out of all of us basically."
Rex winces a little at that mental image. "Yeah, scalp wounds do tend to bleed like the Sith's Own Hells when they happen. It usually looks way worse than it is though. So, do they think that he has an actual concussion or?"
Sabine shrugs, "Well, Kanan sure thinks he does, at least. Either way, they made him get checked over by a medic. Normally a head wound like this wouldn't be such a big deal – I mean we've all had to be monitored for concussion once or twice after a mission went south, that's just the nature of the work, but Ezra's just so kriffing small right now and kids' skulls are so much softer apparently…I think they're worried that…" She lets the words cut off, looking down at her hands, which Rex notices have clenched into tight fists. "They're worried that he might have... Karabast," She mutters, changing directions abruptly, "The past few days: I've been so kriffing petty and stupid. The kark that I've given Ezra over what amounts to nothing and then this had to happen to him...and he's lying there on the floor bleeding and making awful jokes like it's his job at the moment to try and make me feel better…the idiot."
Rex smiles sympathetically, then makes a point to turn her, and nudge her back up the boarding ramp and into the ship for the rest of this obviously needed conversation. "I take it you're feeling pretty bad about how you guys have been getting over the past few days?"
Sabine nods, almost convulsively in response to the question. "Yes. He could have…he could have ended with a skull fracture, Rex and it was…it is my fault, I'm the reason he's even injured first place. Kriff, I try I really do but sometimes I'm just so damn stupid." She mutters the last bit again.
Rex pokes her shoulder with one finger, gently. "Now enough of that, Lady Wren – it isn't going to help anyone, least of all Ezra for you to fall into this particular mindset. Why do you figure you're even responsible for his injury?" Once they're inside the bay again he settles down on one of the room's various piles of cargo crates, patting the space right beside him and making sure this time not to choose something directly within sight of the ramp entrance.
"I…I'm the one who got distracted while I was painting and accidentally left water pooling on the floor in the galley after cleaning my brushes, Rex. I should know better than that. Karabast, I *do* know better than that, I just let myself get distracted, which is not an excuse. Kanan's right it was selfish and childish. I've been giving Ezra ten levels of hell the last few days about how reckless and stupid he's been ever since he saved me on that planet and then the minute he's out of sight *I* go and…" She shakes her head disgustedly and beats her fists against her own knees. "Somebody ought to beat on *my* ass, honestly." She finally grumbles, her eyes downcast, her lips pursed and face full of self-loathing.
"Why bother, though, when you're so clearly handling that job all on your own?" Rex replies a little dryly.
Sabine's head flies up – she glares at him unhappily over the words, but Rex still opts not to back down in the slightest - after all if he's learned anything in his long years of living it's that there's almost nothing in life as useless as a mire of guilt or self-pity that doesn't almost immediately lead to a significant move toward action in order to make amends.
If accountability is necessary for personal growth, then penance, in Rex's opinion at least, is downright holy.
"I mean yes, it sounds on the outside like you screwed up big time, and someone else got hurt. It happens to the best of us – unfortunately. Did you deliberately mean for it to happen?"
"Of course I didn't, Rex!" That's better – now the girls gone straight from self-loathing to righteously indignant at the idea. It's a much shorter trip from there to the actual choice between restitution of wrongs or the continuation of pointless brooding. He shifts his body enough to face hers almost head-on.
"Then the way I see it, Sabine Wren, you've got two options on how you're going to proceed at the moment. One – you can frown yourself in the shame of what just happened and the part you played in it, or you can commit yourself to learning something from it so it never happens again. And well no, I'm no Ezra Bridger, maybe, I still I can still guess exactly which one he'd tell you to pick if he were the one talking to you right now, both because he hates when the people he cares about are hurting and because, to state this completely bluntly, restitution's far, far more functional and healthy than shame on any kriffing day of a week."
"You're probably right about that."
"I'm rumored to be decently observant. And I know the kid fairly well these days now that I'm buried the hatchet with Kanan, and Hera likes to occasionally sneak a quiet night," Rex's lips quirk a little, "Not to mention if Ezra really just cracked his skull open and is going to be stuck in bed for a few days as a result than I'm betting he'd encourage you to pick penance over self-loathing just because he'd love to have a 'slave' for distraction purposes to bring him things and keep him occupied. That particular penance in specific certainly makes a whole lot of sense."
Sabine lets out a wet little giggle at that assessment from the Clone trooper. "Actually, Rex the last I heard Ezra's still swearing up and down and left to right – to Kanan, to the doctor, to Hera, to everyone he comes in contact with, that a 'tiny little gaping head wound' unfairly acquired should not deny him the opportunity to go up north and fish."
Rex raises his eyebrow at that, lips quirking. "Do tell…" Zeb had mentioned Ezra likes fishing when Rex had first suggested the trip yes, but likes it this much? It seems that he and Kanan had indeed come up with an effective antidote to the Padawan's earlier malaise if he was defending their little excursion that vociferously.
Sabine snorts, "Apparently Ezra took to the news of your trip with about as much excitement as a zealot takes to the idea of a pilgrimage?" She shrugs, "I don't really know why. Kid's weird as kark sometimes, I've never fully understood him."
Rex's smile grows fond, "Well fishing's an honorable sport all on its own– he certainly could have done a lot worse I think, in terms of acquiring hobby. Do you happen to know who taught him to fish and when? Was it back on Lothal? Was it one or both of his parents? Or did he pick it up from a friend?"
Sabine opens her mouth then closes it, her expression clearly poleaxed by what Rex had assumed was a pretty unremarkable question. "I…I don't know." She admits after a moment. "We've never really talked about it, or any of his other hobbies really, just about my art and tech and the mundanities of his rougher days training with Kanan. Which is odd when you consider how long I've known him, I suppose."
"Well if you want to change that then you ought to ask him about it sometime if it's something he seems to enjoy that much - I bet the reason he likes it is tied to a who every bit as much as why. For most of us, hobbies stick in part because of the positive memories or relationships that we associate with having them. We stick with what we remember made us feel good the last time we did it essentially."
Sabine nods at that, chewing on her lower lip, her dark eyes thoughtful "We don't really tend to ask Ezra a lot about the time before he joined the crew truthfully, Rex. His background is…well, it's rough, and sometimes he gets touchy or snappy. Or sad – which is a thousand times worse, at least in my own opinion. When someone's past is that painful to talk about then there's no point in rubbing their history repeatedly into their faces, or at least that's what I've always thought. Why salt a wound if there isn't a need."
Rex snorts, then chuckles softly at the comment, rubbing his eyebrow.
"What?" Sabine tilts her head at him.
"Don't take this the wrong way okay – but elephants in the room don't ever really leave. They just create a lot of kark that has to be shoveled up later. Whether you guys are talking to him about it or not I guarantee Ezra's past is front and center in his mind at the moment. I mean it has to be every time he looks in a mirror, don't you think Sabine?"
"…I hadn't really considered the subject all that much."
"Well I honestly can't think of anything but that at the moment. Karabast, but the kid's got to be even mentally tougher than I gave him credit. It can't be easy staying sane when one day you're eighteen and the next you're waking up seven."
"He actually claims that he's closer to eight or nine…or that he remembers looking like he does at that same age. Which I personally think is Banthashit, but…"
"But?"
Sabine's lips tighten, "His early childhood wasn't exactly reliable, Rex in terms of when or how often he got the chance to eat. If he says he was still this small at age eight or nine, then he may be telling the truth, but that doesn't mean that he was necessarily that way naturally or healthily. Kriff he's just so karking small." Sabine mutters. "It makes me a little paranoid really, if I let myself dwell on it too much, that something else bad is almost inevitably going to happen again sometime soon. Our lives have never been what you'd call quiet."
"Something already has happened. And he's surviving it just fine from what you're telling me so far" Rex points out with a gentle smile, "Well enough that he's concerned about fishing not healing, even. So no matter what else happens before all of this finally gets sorted out by the people who saved his life in that cave, at least you'll all know that in this time around age seven can't be any worse than the last one was, anyway."
Sabine chokes aloud at that comment. Rex frowns and pounds her back, "You okay, Wren?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just, well that's not much of a benchmark, Rex. Seven for Ezra last time around was…pretty much hell on earth, actually. His parents were arrested by the Empire on the day literally on his 7th birthday and he spent the next seven years living alone on the streets until the mission we crossed paths with him I'm pretty sure by that point he'd grown comfortably used to occasional runs of starvation."
Rex winces, then spread his arms a little, gesturing as if she's just made his point, "Well at least this time around there's no need for him to fear that'll repeat, is there. He's got you guys after all, doesn't he? And it's not like he'd have any reason to think you're going to dump or abandon him."
The Mandalorian looks at him a long moment, utterly silent then finally shakes her head, as if clearing it of a cloak of clinging cobwebs.
"Yeah. I guess he does have a better support system to help him get through this, now that you put it that way." She pushes herself upright onto her feet, beginning to walk toward the ladders with a motion of her hand for him to follow. "Come on, let's go upstairs and check in on them all right? It should be safe by now I think. Ezra'll be happy to see you so he has another chance to plead his case, I think."
Rex protests a little, even as he matches his steps to Sabine own. "I don't want to intrude…especially if the kid is feeling cruddy or is still with the doctor. I just came to check. I try whenever possible to get the facts over accepting the rumors. When I heard the scuttlebutt I just got a little worried – especially the way he was climbing around like a monkey earlier this morning."
"They gave Ezra something for the pain over an hour ago now. I don't think he's feeling anything but loopy at the moment, so you don't need to worry about that. Which reminds me…" Sabine stops suddenly, turning to face him. "His probable concussion…along with his drop in age – I don't know which is really more responsible - it's apparently done something to his psychic shielding. Be careful about avoiding extremes of emotion in his presence if at all possible, just to be safe. Kanan says he's helping bolster the Kid's shielding now but that doesn't change the fact that earlier Ezra got so worked up by all our anger and panic after he fell the galley that he literally ended up throwing up all over himself and Kanan when his shields overloaded and crashed."
Rex winces at that, then pauses where he is for a moment or two to deliberately clear and steady his mind, via the same meditative pattern he'd learned years ago while watching over Obi Wan and Anakin. Obi Wan, in particular, had been more than happy to share his knowledge on the subject with any Vod who wanted to learn -claiming it made for less cluttered more focused pre-battle planning and first engagements. He hadn't needed the skill in years, perhaps, but he also hadn't entirely forgotten it.
"Thanks for the advice. Are you going to be doing the same yourself?" Rex asks as Sabine leads him down the corridor to stop and ring the chime in front of the Medbay entrance.
"Oh I'm not going in there right now…" Sabine is quick to inform him wryly. "Kanan's with Ezra right now at his request…there seems to be some injury induced separation anxiety at play in the Kid at the moment – maybe because Kanan's doing most of his shielding right now, maybe just because he's spent the most time since the fall just, well, hanging out around him. Either way, I'm the last person on earth that Kanan needs to see if he's going to keep Ezra on an even keel at the moment. Hopefully, that'll change later. If he actually lets me apologize."
Than the Mandalorian painter is turning on her heel, with nothing but a tiny nod of her, leaving Rex to wait for the door in front of him to slide open as he tries to ferret out what precisely that all had meant, and how it might affect the coming weekend.
"Heeeeeeeey Rex. Howya Doing?!"
And okay, yeah the kid is definitely doped up to gills right now.
"Hello, Ezra." He says with a bemused little smile, stepping into Medbay and letting the door close behind him.
xxx000xxx000xxx000xxx000
Ezra Bridger is currently lying in the middle of the med bed. Well okay not so much lying down as half laying down and half in a bizarrely uncomfortable looking sitting position. He's in one of those poses that adults usually shun and young children always make look easy – cross-legged and partially reclined against the elevated upper half of the bed – his face deeply relaxed and his body all but apparently boneless.
Which doesn't change the fact that he's also tremoring noticeably – body twitching with hundreds of like shaking motions that are making his teeth chatter just a little as he lays covered in what looks like at least three separate layers of blankets. "Are you still feeling cold Ezra?" Hera murmurs from her spot on the right side of the bed, frowning as she looks down at the way the blankets only half cover his narrow shoulders, before tugging them up slightly and tucking them in firmly around the edges of his body.
"I wasn't all that cold to begin with," Ezra tells her with a wry grin, "Like I told you and Kanan earlier, my reaction to this particular medication can be odd from what I remember. I'm not like allergic to it or anything - but it always makes me shake at first. I'm not sure why."
The doctor at Hera's side chuckles softly, while on the other side of the bed Kanan reaches out a hand to stroke through the hair on his Padawan's forehead with low soothing tone. "It's called an atypical therapeutic response, Ezra, and if it makes you feel any better to hear this it was actually a fairly common reaction among the humanoid Jedi at the temple as well."
"Stoooop it," Ezra whines, in response to his master's touch, even as his eyes slide shut. "You keep on doing that and I'm gonna fall asleeeeeeeep, I already told you that Kanan."
Rex can't hold back a chuckle as he comes through the door and approaches the foot of the bed, near where Kanan's standing. "Right now, Ezra, I'm pretty sure that's the point. You look more like bait than predator right now, Vod'ika, at least from where I'm standing. It's probably wise we delay awhile and let you get some sleep."
The look that that observation earns Rex is wounded and pitiful: betrayed. "It's just a stupid cut and a couple of stitches, Rex. I've had worse by far believe me." Ezra mutters rebelliously.
"And psychic shock. And an admittedly mild concussion." The doctor dryly interjects, earning herself an equally tragic look from the Padawan. "Though honestly the first issue, at least from what I've read, wouldn't be hurt that much by a quiet, nature focused mini vacation. At least it'd be a lot quieter up northe than in this psychic fishbowl you're trapped in right now. But of course, that's just my own personal thoughts on the subject, as opposed to your Master or your CO's final call on the subject."
"My CO?" Ezra snorts at that. "Do I *look* big enough to be allowed anywhere near a cockpit at the moment, Doctor Agel? Hera's just my...Hera, right now. To have a A CO requires my having access to an actual squadron, and I am indefinitely grounded at the moment. Even if I am technically four months away from actually turning 18." The boys lips quirk up a little, on the left side of his mouth, "The ironic part of that, in this case, being that this time around I didn't even do anything particularly boneheaded to deserve to lose my wings. I just tried to help a friend and so get to live like this now..." He gestures downward, "Without the benefit of having been asked if I even wanted to be stuck with this body."
Neither Hera or the doctor can completely hide their blink in response to that statement. Kanan frowns his shoulder stiffening…
"Ezra…" He shifts his jaw, clearly looking for the right words to speak.
Which is when Rex surprises them all by simply laughing.
Ezra looks confused, then a little indignant "What's so funny?" He demands. "It's rude to laugh like that, you know."
"Probably yes, it is Bridger," The clone trooper shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, "And I'm sorry – I really didn't mean to be a bantha's ass or anything, …it's just, well you're just not the first person I've listened to bitch about the indignities of atypical aging in the past few days. I guess that just found it a little funny, because usually, the complaints are coming from the opposite end of the spectrum."
"Huh?" Ezra looks completely baffled by the statement, which is good because it means Rex has managed to boot him out of his ongoing pity party. The Ghost crew seems to be having a run on those this week. So Rex puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head, and asks bluntly "Ezra do you have any idea how old I am?"
"Sixtyish?" The Padawan guesses. "Maybe a little younger. The white could be throwing off my estimations..."
Rex snorts aloud "I'm a little older than your master is, Kid. I just turned 33 years old. If you count my creche hatch date as a birthday."
Everyone in the room blinks at his dazedly for a moment."Clone Trooper." He says very slowly as if they'd all missed the memo or something. Then he shrugs, "People who don't know me well, or who forget how and why my Vod and I were originally made tend to forget as well that thanks to the way we were bred to mature rapidly in order to get us ready for the realities of combat, me and all my 'freed' brothers still get to experience the wonderful daily realities of constantly progressing rapid aging."
"I …I'm sorry." Ezra mutters shamefaced, after a moment, even as beside him the Kanan has gone very, very still all of a sudden, his forehead creased in deep thought. Well Karbast: Rex really hopes the Jedi Knight hadn't taken that as some kind of personal dig aimed at the Jedi order.
They hadn't created the Clones after all, not deliberately, just accepted the help of the troops that had literally been brought into existence to serve (and kill) them.
"You've got nothing to apologize for Vod'ika… I wasn't trying to belittle your frustration by bringing it up, just the opposite really. It's just, well the whole 'actual vs physical age dichotomy' you're talking about, I understand it far better than you probably think. I just never thought it I'd hear the same kind of sentiment come out of the mouth of someone so much younger than I am, or that us clones and any of our Brother Jedi would ever walk such a similar path essentially."
He reaches out and squeezes Ezra's shoulder affectionately, earning himself a shy little grin, "But I guess you could just say that now we really are cut from the same kind of cloth now, Ezra. Even if right now you literally got the shorter end of the stick than me."
Ezra actually giggles a little at that observation, though he looks surprised to be doing so. Then his whole body seems to deflate into depression. "Bedrest is boooooring." The boy all but whines. "My brain is literally atrophying every time I even think the word, Rex. I've lived through much worse than slipping on a puddle of water…Force, I was literally stabbed once and I still had to be up the next day to work or I wasn't going to be able to eat the rest of the week. So why in kark is it so unreasonable for me to want to sit on a blanket for a few days and pull fish out of the water while I'm recuperating? How is healing that way – in the sunshine and open air without having half the damn base staring every time I venture out - anymore inherently damaging or dangerous than climbing around in the vents to try and fend off the boredom?"
Hera blinks at that pronouncement, even as Kanan sigh heavily. "Ezra, you may want to look up the definition of 'bedrest,' again." Rex informs him dryly. "Because if that's your version of it then you're failing at the concept pretty badly." Kriff this kid is so much like Obi Wan in some ways it's ridiculous. He wishes he knew now with planet the older Jedi had hailed from, maybe it's a heritable trait and Obi Wan and Ezra were cousins or something.
"I don't do lying around and staring at the walls for any length of time, Rex." Ezra informs the older man more than a little bit grumpily, "Because sooner or later, they only end up staring right back or worse – they try to talk back in reply. Which doesn't strike me as particularly healthy."
"Ezra," Hera begins again, her tone frustrated. "You just sustained a serious concussion. You're nearly to dizzy to stand.
Kanan interrupts by laying a gentle hand on her arm and pivots to face the doctor, "You seriously don't have any concerns about it setting back his physical recovery if he goes out to the woods north of here with Rex and I, Dr Agel?"
The physician shakes her head. "So long as there's no major change between when I see him today and when I check in later tomorrow, no. Though you''ll have to make sure that he takes it very very easy activity wise and that you keep his wounds clean and covered. You know how to change his bandages and add spray on bacta as needed I presume?"
"If he doesn't I do," Rex interjects genially. "Anyone lieutenant level or above in the GAR got standard combat medic training during the end phase of the War, mostly as a common sense precaution. The only useless skills being the ones that you didn't have."
Kanan looks at Hera, "Dr Agel is right about one thing, Hera: it would definitely help Ezra to be somewhere less crowded for a couple of weeks if we're going to get any real work done in terms of repairing and then bolstering his shielding. Ezra and I's only two real viable choices in terms of that are either to go up north for awhile with Rex or get off the planet entirely. If that's your preference than maybe we could visit Lothal's outskirts for a month or so - take the phantom or something. But I figured you'd prefer we stuck closer to home."
"Kanan…" Hera's voice isn't forbidding, but it also clearly isn't happy, in the slightest, with the current conversation. "Couldn't all of this wait for a few more days? He's just gotten more than eighteen stitches. He can't stop tremoring…I really think that..."
"That's just the affect of the meds, Hera." Ezra interjects "And I don't really need to take them anymore. My headache's back to being just the normal kind now – and it'll pass on its own like they always do as long as Kanan keeps helping me with my shielding. This thing with Rex is important...not just for me and my shielding but for everyone just generally. It'll help increase the bases' selection of fresh protein sources, and I'll actually get to do something truly useful again, finally."
Hera sighs, "Is it really so unreasonable of me, Ezra, to point out that fishing, no matter how passive, is not sleeping, and a dirty riverbank is not a real bed? You just suffered significant brain trauma, and right now I'd just feel a whole lot better you here at home where someone can keep watch. Th first day or so post concussion what you really need to get the most is sleep."
Ezra considers this a moment silently, then bursts out, "Fine. Then how's this for a deal for you guys. I'll go to sleep literally right now – no fighting and no trying to get up at all except if I need to the bathroom." Ezra bargains, "If in exchange for me doing so without complaint, Rex, Kanan and I can go out to the lake sometime tomorrow late afternoon or evening instead..."
Hera frowns, but this time it's Kanan speaks up, turning his head so he can better hear Rex, "Would that still fit your timetable,Rex? If all three of us left tomorrow in the latter half of the evening? You'd still be able to accomplish everything on your itinerary?"
Rex nods, "That'll work easily enough, yes. Hell, we could even leave the following morning in an absolute pinch…though I admit I prefer to fly up there and make camp the night before, sleep in the bunks and then hit the lake just before dawn, since you tend to have the most luck around that time of the day with the fish, at least in my experience."
"In that case then let's make our agreement last one complete twenty-four-hour cycle. It's 12 pm or so now, right? Ezra tomorrow at say around 2 pm or later we'll have you checked over by Dr Agel -assuming she's free - to give us an all-clear essentially. To make sure you're stable and your scans have continued improving. And until then you'll be expected to spend the whole time in bunk -no complaints, no monkey business, and absolutely no vent crawling. You stay in your bunk, and you sleep or rest quietly if you want us to honor our part of the bargain. Agreed?"
The boy chews his lip. "And if I agree to this then you absolutely promise we leave for Up North before nightfall unless Dr Agel finds something new and forbids it directly?"
"Yes. If you agree and comply to the letter than tomorrow we'll all proceed up North just as we've planned. Well with a few reasonable restrictions of course, given your current circumstances."
"Those being?" Ezra asks, his eyes 200% locked on nothing and no one but Kanan.
Kanan shrugs, "Well you do have an open head wound, Kid, and until the Bacta finishes its work you're going to need to keep it clean so one: no swimming or running around in the rain and no spearfishing at all without my okay until the stitches have dissolved and the head wound is completely closed up." The Jedi hedges for a moment and then adds on three more conditionals, fairly impulsively. "Also - two you can only sleep at night on the ship and not outside at least initially, three: you don't go anywhere while we're there unsupervised without me, Rex or Chopper unless you've been asked and granted specific permission and four: if you're starting to look worn down than I'll expect that you'll go without protest if I tell you to go hit the bunks for an hour or two..."
"Done." Ezra replies. "Done done and done. Also done one final time...assuming I correctly counted all of the above."
Kanan apparently isn't finished, though, because he leans in just a little more closely. His expression is stern, serious, laying down the law now and no longer negotiating as he puts a hand on Ezra's shoulder and squeezes. "Understand me, Ezra, and know I'm dead serious when I tell you that we will turn right back around and come home instantly, the moment that Rex or I catch you violating any of the above stipulations, or if you start showing even the slightest hint of infection. Because I'm not playing games with your health. Are we clear?"
"We're clear. I'll be good Kanan. I promise." Then the boy makes a face, "Though knowing my luck lately I'm probably going to follow all that too the letter and still end up having to come home early because of some stupid infection."
"Uhm…about that. I was going to be giving you a course of oral antibiotics to take over the next ten days regardless." The doctor informs them all softly. "That gash was submerged in nonsterile water on the floor of the galley when he fell, after all, and considering the depth of the dent on the back of his skull it just seems like a reasonable precaution for us to take . I'll give him tablets to take tomorrow when he sees me - 2:45 2ould be fine with me, by the way for an appointment, and before I go today we can also hang a stronger broadspectrum antibiotic IV, just to be cautious since you've already got a port active from your other meds."
"And then we'll go fishing." Ezra echoes, confirming all that he apparently cares about in this entire bargain yet again. Rex had forgotten how hypserfocused someone could become in the midst of concussion.
"Yes Ezra," Kanan says with a bemused little huff. He glances over at Hera, who's still frowning, but nods back, nonethless. Rex is guessing from the look in her eyes that Kanan will be hearing more about this bargain of his and Ezra's once the two of them are in private, but she'd decided to cede to his and Ezra's wishes for the moment. "If you keep up your end of our deal, and if the doctor still gives the green light at your checkup tomorrow, then we'll leave base tomorrow a couple of hours before sunset and the following morning you, Rex and I –will hit the lake or the river and we'll go fishing."
Ezra smiles in response to that promise, weary but also clearly triumphant. "In that case guys, it's settled and sealed. Though I'm not going to bother kneeling on it this time around because, if I tried to do I'd probably fall on my ass. Still, - I'll see you all later cause I'm now doing exactly as I promised..."
Then finally blue eyes slide shut and literally twenty seconds later, Ezra Bridger asleep, the blankets covering him falling and rising with every lift of his small chest.
Rex feels himself chuckle again. Dr Agel gawks at the scene before her for moment, that shakes her head and whispers, chuckling. "Did he really just...?"
"Yes. He did." Kanan answers. "What can I say. He was finally found sufficient motivation to stop fighting unconsciousness."
"Unbelievable." Hera mutters under her breath, as the doctor smirks and shakes he head, then moves to drop the head of the exam table down to a more reclined position. "We've only been telling him for the last forty minutes that he should rest now. But now, he holds out for no reason I can think of…other than to be stubborn."
"Actually," Kanan rubs his forehead wearily, "My personal guess is that he was hoping he'd manage to stay awake through at least one actual visit from Sabine. He wanted her to know he's all right after how upset she got about everything that happened in the kitchen."
"Well, either that or he's the exact kind of stubborn that decided he was going to refuse to yield until he wore us all down concerning the fishing trip," Hera murmurs, rolling her eyes heavenward. "Which he finally did."
Rex snorts, "Vod'ika appears to drive a hard bargain - even when concussed."
"Indeed he does. Is he always this …well… persistent?"
The word you are looking for is stubborn." Hera informs her with a small sigh. "And the answer is yes."
"Actually, he's usually far worse than we just saw when he's operating on all gears. He's just more subtle about it." The Jedi Knight informs Agel dryly, gently straightening his Padawan's legs out into a more natural sleeping position to assure he doesn't wake him up before recovering him with the blankets and putting the rail guards up on the bed. "I have learned over the past four years how and when to pick my battles regarding some things, so that when I need to win most urgently I do quickly.."
"An astute battle tactic." Rex intones with a twinkle in his eyes.
Hera snorts, "What Kanan means is that he spoils him. Not often maybe, but Sabine's at least right about that. You can be a real pushover about some things."
The older Jedi merely shrugs, raising an eyebrow in the Twi'lek's direction. "If that's the way you want to look at it Captain, then go ahead. I see it a bit different at present - more like I'm tipping back the scales for him that have recently leaned so far out of balance by everything he's been forced to adjust to that he's practically hanging off of his weigh pan by his fingertips. As was more than adequately demonstrated by the vomiting in the kitchen." HEr frowns at that, even more, opens her mouth but then closes it, apparently lacking sufficient rebuttal. Kanan shrugs again, his lips quirking. "And even if I'm wrong, Hera, or as you and Sabine insista going too easy on him initially, well by the looks of things I'm going to be the one dealing with the consequences of that decision most of the time, since I seem to be Ezra's primary caregiver at present. The rest of you have had other priorities and responsibilities that take precedence. "
The Doctor shakes her shakes her head bemused . "You know, the two of you remind me a lot of my husband and I. We were always sniping back and forth when he was younger about the way his dad handled out youngest at the time, Tim. He was a real firecracker too reminds me a lot of Ezra truthfully...smart as a whip, and a bargain maker. Could talk his way into our out of almost anything, or so it used to seem," She gestures to the boy asleep on the table. "He used to drive me absolutely barmy until he hit late adolescence and I stopped worrying so much about how easily he could get hurt, but that didn't stop him from growing up into a responsible, dedicated ma- as well as a talented pilot. He was a member of gold squadron. Their second in command I beleive. He..he died during the escape from Atollon." Agel's smile is wry, her eyes a little wet, as she looks up at them "He got himself blown to bits along with Sato's people during the evac, but they cleared the way for a bunch of other people to survive thanks to their bravery. Gods were his Dad and I proud. Though also, does it pain us some days how much we miss him." The older woman wipes at her eyes with the back of her hands then smiles again, this time more genuinely. "Ah well. The price of freedom I guess. I'm just saying: keep sniping if you have to you guys, but also try and enjoy the wild ride ahead as much as you possibly can, because you're going to have an interesting next decade or so ahead, unless your alien friends come up with some miraculous way to fix this mess. And truthfully, I'll envy you both even if that does happen."
That seems to refocus both Kanan and Hera, as it was no doubt intended to. "We're still hope for a cure," Hera murmurs, reaching out to stroke her own hand across Ezra's forehead "For Ezra' sake. He's lost so much already...and it's clear he really isn't enjoying this."
"But even he stays like this indefinitely then I'll still take him as he is- be it seventeen or seven." Kanan interjects his voice oddly tight and choked up, "Ezra just being alive at all is a miracle at the moment as far as I'm concerned. I'm not jinxing it by getting greedy and demanding anythin more than that." Kanan reaches out a hand then, offering a shake to the doctor. "Thank you for everything you're done for him today, Dr Agel. And thank you for your openness in sharing your own experiences concern your son. I grive with you in your loss, and appreciate both your wisdom and perspective, just like I know they're probably missing your wisdom back at the clinic. I don't want to abuse your kindness if you need to start heading back."
"Pah. It's not a problem, Kanan, I assure you. House calls are just part of the service around here some days. We were actually having a slow morning anyway." The dark-haired woman looks down at the boy on the bed for another moment or so, then turns to her med kit and pulls out a smaller IV infusion bag - likely the aforementioned antibiotics, and starts connecting it to his IV Tubbing before pulling out a scanner again. "I'm glad you sent for me as quickly as you did – head injuries in children are never something to be taken lightly because their skils aren't as solid yet, and the brains are growing fast - something I have no doubt is doubly true when you're dealing with telepaths or empaths." His scanner beeps and she looks down at it with a small frown then sighs and roots around in her bag for a blood collection kit. "Still, to be honest, JArrus, I am probably more concerned about some of the hormone and neurochemical levels his blood tests are indicating then I really am about his concussion. Probably because I have so much less personal knowledge or reference materials to help me know how to properly treat psychic shock as opposed to concussion. May I ask you a couple of quick questions, just to make sure I've covered my bases thoroughly enough on the subject?"
Kanan shrugs, "Of course you can ask. I can't promise that I'll be all that helpful answering, though. My own education on the subject is unfortunately extremely limited. Advanced biology and Jedi Healing were taught in the temple not out in the field for the most part. I had some basic readings on the subject of course, and some training from our company's medic in the GAR when he had the time, but the reality is that what little I do know about psychic injuries was that they always mandated rest and variety of different types of neuro inhibitors like the one you first gave Ezra when you got here to help lessen his pain - after which it was recommended that the patient was be transferred back to Coruscant for care there by better qualified mind healers." His face twists up in frustration, "Neither of us have access to the knowledge or healing techniques they did, other than my ability to enter a basic healing trance. Something I intend to teach Ezra as well over the weekend. Well okay not teach so much as review with him." "So you're saying there's nothing else we can do at present but keep him out of pain and let him heal at his own pace?" "As far as I know? No. That's how I've had to heal myself in similar situations. Though the good news is I don;t really think the damage to be repaired is all that extensive. Ezra's walls haven't been functioning as well as they ought to for a while now, true but the good news is they were only completely down for a matter of seconds before I was able to intercede earlier this morning, so any psychic bruising should be minimal and heal without much need for further assistance. With any luck at all, Ezra's headache may not even be present anymore by the time he wakes up, muchless by the time you see him again tomorrow. I', certainly hoping that's the case."
I do as well. But i'm also leaving another single dose of the pain cocktail behind for you to have on hand if he needs it all right? I'll give it to Hera and he can have it starting 4 hours from present."
"Thank you. Now is there anything else you wanted to know before Sabine or Zeb help you walk your equipment back...?"
The doctor frowns looking down at Ezra again, "Just one thing. Jarrus, I really don't mean to be impertinent or repetitive asking this. This is all just so new to me as a physician and I 'm the type who wants to understand..."
"Which I value. Just ask your question, Aliyah. I won't be offended, I promise."
"All right, I know that you said earlier that Ezra's shields most likely collapsed the way they did because of his concussion. I'll even concede that such occurrences are documented in what few psychically aimed medical references I was lucky enough to have currently on file, but it still took more than double the normal initial dosing of Nylol for someone in his weight range in order to bring his neurochemical levels back to their age-appropriate ranges, and I'm trying to understand why they were that out of whack after such a short period and low level of actual trauma. I remember reading awhile back during my years in med school that a psychics shields are more vulnerable to failure they're already healing from a previous psychic trauma of some sort or another, so I was wondering...Has Bridger recently experienced any other significant psychic events that could account for his brain's level of over-reactivity. I mean he has markedly heightened levels of both cortisol and adrenaline but it looks like that may be an ongoing problem not a new on and I'm just trying to make sure that neither of us are missing something more obvious like thyroid or pituitary problems that I should be checking for with more blood tests."
Kanan snorts dryly at that. "You mean have Ezra or I experienced anything more mentally or physically stressful over the past month or so than the complete shattering and abrupt reformation of our training link the day he died? No, we haven't. But yes, that would more than account for the stress your tests are indicating he...we...have both been under." He sighs as he senses the shock in the older woman's expression. "I'm sorry if that came across as sarcastic...I appreciate your thoroughness I really do. It's just...hard, at times, to adequately vocalize some experiences to non Jedi who've never experience them."
"You and Bridger's bond was *broken?*"
"For a few minutes yes. It remade itself as soon as he was healed enough to regain any level of consciousness."
"I see..." The doctor's next question is hesistant. "And you and the boy are *both* recovering from that in the normal ways I assume?"
"Yes, as much as there is any kind of precedent. It'll take some time, of course, before things settle down completely."
And until then?"
Kanan shrugs, his voice dispassionate, or at least as close to it as Rex imagines he can currently manage. "Until then, Dr Agel, there'll be occasional headaches and nightmares for both of us, as well as the occasional minor emotional meltdown or panic attack, which is probably why I'm prone, right now, as Hera put it, to go easy or be a little more lenient than normal. At least until Ezra in particular's feeling a little less fragile emotionally speaking."
Hera slowly lowers her coffee cup from her lips, her gaze on her lover's face suddenly both much more shocked and much intense. Rex barely hides a little wince, because yeah judging by the rapidly shifting emotions on Hera's face, Kanan's lover had probably only known at perhaps a third of that. Either because of miscommunication or because as Kanan had hinted at this early this morning, the Twi'lek had been working so much lately she hasn't been around enough to fully become aware of it..
Still, Rex thinks, looking first at the boy asleep on the table, then at Kanan himself, who's never been more than just a few yards away from his Padawan if he can possibly help it since he and rex both returned to the Ghost this morning, that new little tidbit of information clarifies a hell of a lot of previously unconnected strange things that he has noted about Kanan and Ezra but not been able to string together into a coherent picture or conclusion until Kanan acknowledged that there'd recently been a temporary break of their training link. That one additional details places literally everything else in context.
Padawan-Master relationships by nature are incredibly close. They involve tremendous amounts of both slowly built trust and mutual sacrifice and suffering. And in the presence or wake of illness, danger or threat, any clone trooper worth their salt quickly learned to work around the fact that any two Jedi with a training or pair bond active between them had a tendency to be both interdependent and deeply, protective of eachother, with the majority of a Masters 'crazy side' becoming most evident when their younger charge was or had been injured, harmed or threatened.
Jedi 'family relationships' on a good day were complex and exhausting to see, much less navigate, and Jedi with recently damaged or mending pair bonds were…
'Well BANTHASHIT' summed it up that particular situation pretty nicely. It also explained Sabine's comment before she'd left him right outside the door of Medbay about how she seemed to be, unusually, being treated like a threat by Kanan at present, who was having a hyper protective reaction to her slightly higher than usual amounts of snarking.
From what he'd just shared, Kanan and Ezra's link had been broken and reformed less than two weeks ago with no warning and now real treatment for it after, and unless Rex doesn;t misjudge the situation, that aftermath has left both Kanan and Ezra wobbling dangerously on their feet. Both Master and Padawan are no doubt still struggling as a result to find their personal balance.
This kind of situation, regretfully isn't covered in revision five of the sarcastically nicknamed GAR memo, 'So now you have your own Master and Padawan : A soldier's guide to guarding their GEnerals/Commanders.' Which Rex damn well knows because he and Cody essentially COAUTHORED versions 2-5 of the damn thing. The closest practical comparison he can think of is probably when Anakin and Asohka had watched Obi Wan 'die' before accepting an undercover mission. And hadn't that just been the ultimate nightmare situation.
What he does know right now is pretty simple really – Ezra has clear psychic damage, has been de-aged against his will and desperately wants to run the kriff away from his current life and go just go fishing rather than deal with any of the above. While Kanan? Kanan is so relieved the kid is alive he is more than willing in the short term at least, to let him.
Because it's not like the older Jedi is any less in need of the time away from himself, from what Rex is guessing, whether he's aware of it or not. This little excursion, for lack of a better way of putting it, is both Kanan getting the hell out of Dodge for awhile and circling up the wagons while they both catch their breath. While Ezra comes to terms with his new body and Kanan comes to terms with what happened just generally.
If he can 'come to terms with it' Rex means.
And that? Seems like a pretty high order. How in kriff does someone adjust to feeling someone you love die literally in your mind and then just go on afterward without completely losing your composure eventually? Muchless adjust to it happening twice – even if the later time the death you share only ended up being temporary?
Rex doesn't know. Neither does Hera. And neither does Kanan Jarrus, from what Rex can see. The Jedi Knight is, per his reputation and norm, just basically punting. Taking one day at a time as making it up as he goes along. But that tactic isn't going to work - at least not indefinitely.
Kanan and Ezra are both going to hit a wall soon, and hard. Just like Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had all those years ago when both men had gone from being literally the greatest heroes in the GAR to being two human sacrifices who gave and gave and gave over until they literally bled themselves near dry. Until they fell for lack of knowing when or how to stop essentially.
Like kriff will Rex sit back the next two weeks and watch the same thing start happening in miniature to Kanan and Ezra. Not when he has the time, the will and best of all, in this case, previous traumatized Jedi wrangling experience. This fishing trip of theirs, intentionally or not has just become Rex's working vacation. His primary objective has just been switched from site scouting and protein access, to emergency Jedi post-trauma repair, analysis, and maintenance. It is time, in short for Rex to buckle the kark back up and start earning his (admittedly utterly fictional now) princely Clone Trooper salary again.
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