A Constant Reminder
A/N: This was meant to be a one-shot but Telemnar-xo convinced me to make it a chapter story. I would also like to thank her for being my Beta for this story. R & R
Chapter Two:
Hermione stared at the man lying beside her, sound asleep. She had woken up just as he fell asleep, his hand still resting flat against her stomach. Her hand found its way to his and she traced small circles over the back of his hand. He shifted and her hand stilled. Once he was settled again, she gently turned as not to wake him and buried her face in his chest. His arm snaked its way around her, pulling her closer. Smiling softly, she closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.
She could feel their eyes on her as she pushed the food on her plate around. They had been watching her all day. They watched her during conversations, while she read, and as she walked. And she was sick of it. Sighing, she put her fork down and sat with her hands on her lap, staring at her food. Sirius knew she was waiting. She was going to tell them tonight. He put down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. Sitting back, he picked up his drink and cleared his throat. Taking a drink, he motioned towards her with his eyes when the rest of the table looked at him. They looked at her, putting their forks down as well, and he set his drink down, keeping his eyes on her, making sure she didn't break down.
"Mione?" Harry started.
Hermione looked up. She looked at each of them, never looking them in the eyes until she reached Sirius, sitting across the table from her. There is was. That something in his eyes that she couldn't pinpoint. And just like that, any fear she had been feeling was forgotten. She licked her lips nervously and took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth to say something but the fear clenched her heart again.
Sirius could see her hands shaking. "Kitten," he said softly.
Hermione opened her watery eyes. She met his gaze and he nodded slightly. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm pregnant."
The group was silent for a moment. The whole time Hermione never looked away from Sirius. Then she was attacked with praise of congratulations, smiling faces and questions of whose child it was. She answered in barely a whisper and the table died down in a crushing silence. She told them she didn't want it. She told them she was afraid she would hate it. She told them how she was afraid she would look at it and be caused pain. And finally, taking a deep breath, she told them she would keep it.
He had been taking care of her for over two months. And she still hadn't a clue to how he felt about her. Perhaps she was just clouded by the fact she was having a baby. Perhaps she knew and didn't feel the same way, so she decided to just ignore it. It could have been, of course, because he hadn't the courage to tell her. They had, however, begun sharing a room. She had come to him one night in tears. She had read in a book about the dangers of having a baby and all the complications that could occur. The next night she had broken down into tears after reading about deformities the baby could have. He had comforted her both times and calmed her nerves with ease. After the third night, however, he began hiding the baby and parenting books. She still managed to find them and he had to threaten Kretcher to throw them out.
No one said anything about them sharing a room. They believed it to be for support and comfort as a friend. They hadn't a clue of his feelings for the brunette witch. Making his presence known, he decided it was time he told her exactly how he felt. She looked up from the book she was reading and smiled at him. Closing the book, she patted the seat beside her. He entered the library and joined her on the couch.
"Is something wrong, Sirius?" She asked with worried eyes.
Reaching over, he brushed some hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. A smile tugged at his lips. He had to tell her. "I need to tell you something, kitten. And I'm not sure how you'll react."
Hermione fidgeted a bit and nodded. "What is it?"
Sirius took her hands in his and stared at them. They were so small compared to his, so fragile. 'She's still fragile. Tell her gently. Don't just blurt it out,' Said the voice in his head. He heard her faintly call his name and he looked up. His blue eyes caught her brown orbs and his breath was pulled from his lungs.
"I love you, Hermione." he whispered, mentally slapping himself for blurting it out. He wanted to build up to it. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
He watched her with desperate eyes, hoping she would say something instead of staring at him. He shouldn't have told her. He should have waited. Suddenly she pulled her hands from his touch as if she'd been burned. She stood up, her book falling from her lap to the ground. He watched her and she avoided his eyes. She ran her hands over her face and they came to land on her stomach.
"I'm late for my appointment." She said and walked out of the library.
By the time Hermione got back to Grimmauld Place, everyone was already asleep. Taking a quick shower, she changed into her pajamas and sat down on the edge
of the bed, a picture in her hand. She stared at it, not sure whether to be happy or not. The bed behind her shifted and there was a rustling of blankets and sheets. Sirius moved to sit beside her and she instinctively laid her head on his shoulder. She handed him the photo and snaked her arms around his torso. Sirius glanced down at her, a bit surprised, and watched her eyes begin to flutter close. Wrapping his arm around her, he ran a hand through her hair. He stared down at the sonogram in his hand and he felt a pain his heart. He wanted this child to be his. Yes, he could take care of them. Care for the child as if it were his own. But he would always know that no matter what he did, the woman he loved was not carrying his child.
Putting the sonogram on the nightstand, he looked down at Hermione, who was sleeping against his side. He held her in place as he stood up. Laying her down, he pulled the blankets over her then climbed in beside her, his hand on her growing stomach. That night he dreamt of Hermione and their child.
