CHAPTER 2: TRAVERSE TOWN, WUT AR THOSE CRETURES?
AN: Yayayayay, so I finish the 2 chappie! In dis one I to explain some things.
Disclaimer: I don't worn Kingdom Hearts but I do own Sakura! She is my OC so DON'T STEAL HER. I have her copyright and I can sue u if u take her. SO DONT.
"OH YAH SEXY BABY BABEE BABI BABY OH BABY BABY BABY OH BABY BABY BABY AAAAAEEEE BAYBAY."
Dese wer de words Sakura a woke to from he eternal darkness plese let me out of des hell whole. She instantlyly thougt 'wut' becuz at the sam time she feltapressure on her secdon to the left boob. What is it?!/
She open her eyes and see an old man over her sexay body w/ his mittens RIGHT ON HER BOOBIE! "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
Sakura scream mighty and jumped right up into teh air landing on here feet and kickin that old man right in his crotchal area where it will make him cry and no what he done to her! He let ot an AAAAAHHHHHH scream of pain! Good! Sakura flipeded her hairs over her should er and smile that sexy/cute/kawaii smile of her as teh man hit teh floor bitch and cried real trears. "Take that u bitch whore NO ON touch my tittays un less I want them 2!"
It was goode she thought that pervy a lesson but WAIT a MINUTE Sakura had even big biger issues to deal w/ here! "You pervy!" she yell. "Whut did u do to my home land and to me and to meh parents and meh slaves and ppl!" You didi it didn't DON"T LIE TO ME I CAN SENSES FEAR?!"
Teh man took a minuite to recover from her power full crotchal kick butt when he did he look up at her in surprise he look up at her. "I be very sorry you sexy young thang! I just saw u fall from teh skye outside of my shop like a shooting lucky charm and I wanted to save u! And so I tooked you into my shop here and then I couldnt help butt notice ur lovely Lady Humps and wanted to wanted to watned to touch them! SO SORRY!"
"SHUT UP" scream Sakura! "TELL ME ABOUT THOESE CRETURES! WUT WER THEY!? I KNOW YOU KNOW I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW!" She whip out her Key Blade out of cyberspace or where ever it is that god makes Key Blades and held it in her hands which had fingers on it and showeded it to the old man so that he could see it with his face wihich had eyes in it. He let out a gasp like gasp!
OMG" he said "You have a Key Blade!?" "How the Heck do u kno what this is?" ask Sakura.
"Pleze just calm down and I can tak you to some1 who can explan all of this crap to u so that you will know all of this crap!" Said the man in his old man voice which was like that of a old man.
"O K" said Sakura. "I will gave you one chance to take me to sum1 who can tell me wat is goin on and if u dont I will cut off your uvula! I WILL DO IT DONT MAK ME!"
So the old man got up and bowwed to Sakura cause he was greatful and he needed his uvula if he was evr gonna have children, which LOL was soooooo unlikely to ever happen cause I mean look at him! O YAH I forgoted to say what he look like cause it does no really matter but I will tell you n e way so that u can laugh at how pathetic he is. Okay he had yellow hair and a whit shirt and a toothpick and googlys on he head and looked about 50 yrs old so he was ugly of course and omg he had a dumbass country accent NOT the cute kind like Hannah Montanna but the kind like "I lost meh house and meh dog and meh girlfriedn and meh pickup truck" yeah that kind. HOLY SHIT, just die old man!
Sakura look around at wheree she was and it did look like she was in a store just liek teh old man had said. It was small and didn have any cute close in it so that must be why the old county man looked poor cause holy carp who would go to a stor w/ no close?! Not me or Sakura I can tell u that!
And as she look around teh old man said "O yah my name be Cid. Whut be ur name?" LOL CID!? WUT A FUCK NAME!? !
But like I said Sakura is sooo nice so she didn'tn' laugh at the old man just said my name is Sakura Anastasia Neko Lily Jasminetigerbaby III. I am teh princess of Kawaiicrystalandia u have prolly herd of it cause it is the shit."
"Oh said Cid. I have never herd of it but that is prolly cause I suck eggs LOLZ!" Cid drooled.
"Yeah, whatevers." Said Sakura. "Now take me to get sum impertant info!"
But once again Sakura be interrupted but this time it was by something not old and country and smelly touch boob! A little animal came down a ladder from the floor upstairs of Cid shop me SQUEEEEEEEEE it WAS soooooooo CuTe! It look like a baby cute thing with tiny little tiny wings that were purptle and a big red nose and a little antenna things from its held that had a red ball at the top that was soooooooo cute!
"OMG" say Sakura! "What IS that!?"
"Kupo!" say the baby animal in a cute little voice!
"SOOOOOO CUTE!" say Sakura in a cute little voice!
"Oh" say Cid in a pedo voice. "That is what we call a Moogle. They r very cute little animals that own stores! And the say Kupo all teh times!"
KUPO
KUPO
KUPO
KUPO
KUPO
OKUP
Sakura ran over 2 the little moogle gave it a big hug and kiss Amanda hug and kiss! "Oh u r so cute little bab living with this pervy?! U should com home w/me and I can have u as my pet in Kawaiicrystalandia and we will be good friends and I will play games w/ u and every1 will be jealous and I will feed u and you can sleepe on my bed and I will take u for walks and when I am doen with u we will slaughter u and make a coat of u so even in death u will always b w/ me!"
"Kupo!" said the mooglee. (AN: in moogle that means yes this time!)
So Sakura picked up the moogle that she would name Beyonce and put her in her put her in her magical backpack that she had just now that she could have whenever she wanted and it could change sizes and stuff. And now that that was done she decided to follow Cid to teh person who could teel here all about teh cretures!
As they walked out side of teh shop Sakura looked around her and saw that she was in a town called Traverse Town. A Traverse is like a bar. The town was ok but not that that great and had some glowy signs and stuff and hotels or somethings and a big clock tower. So they walked but they had to walked slow cause cid was so old and when u are old u have no purpose so u never walk fst or nothing. Eventally the made it to a place that had like a whole in the wall w/ water goin to inside of it and teh water kind of smllied like poop but cid was goin into the water!
He said Come on we gotta go into dese whole to get to where be get to.
Sakura was like OMG BARF but a gurl gotta do what she gotta oh heeeeeeeeeel yeah. So she went into the water and fallow Cid into teh tunnel omg I would never do that cause omg wut if he was agonna rape her in there!? RATED R! But that didn't happen all that did happen was that they were now in the sewer and there was a torch on teh wall and Sakura could see some people down in here. Here and Cid looked at the people and this is what they saw.
The fist person they saw was a man and he was muscley man. He haded brown hair that was actwoally girly but I guess he kinda pulled it off in a scene kind of way lolz. And he was wear all black to show jut how ba he think he is and he had a jackt with a red lion mark on teh arm fuzzy on the neck and black pants and black boots and black gloves and lol he musta been afeared his clothes were a gonna fall off cause he had on a tonna belts lololol. And he was had a shiny sword that he was using to TRAINING.
And then there was a girl with brown hari and a bow in the brown hari and she had on a pink and white dress and it was pretty cute but omgaaaaawd it woulda looked liek SO much cuter/hotter on Sakura lol mayb she will barrow it later ok? ok. OK. OK! And then lasted their was was a short azn girl with short black hair and a black headband and a black vest and little hoochie short shorts and some boots that were kinda cool BUUUUUTTTTTT! YOU GUESSED IT! They woulda looked so much hotter on Sakura!
Anyway that was teh pply who was hanging out in the poop cave and now Cid and Sakura were there too! When they came up the ppl turned around to look cause duh how could you not look at Sakura and Old Man cid said howdy YALL this is Sakura and I find her when she fall from teh sky like a dynaMITE in front of teh shop and now I bring her here. lol.
And girl with brown hear was like "Hi! Im Aerith or Aeris or wtf idklol wut is ur name?"
And Sakura was like "Hi I'm Sakura from Kawaiicrystalandida I was havin a bomb partay when all of eh sudden this weird cretures came outta no were and started killin all my guest and u sure cant have a pimpin partay w/ out the guests lol amirite and then suddenly a big creture was a trying to get me but then I saw ed an angle and he said SAKURA and then next thing know I had a Key Blade to sav the universe and so I kill the creture and then I was suk up into teh sky and then I wake up and Old Cid is gropping me and I said NO and kick him in his nuggets and then be like TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN and he was like FOLLOOOOOOOW MEEEEEEEE and so I did and he took me into the poop cave and I saw u and you were like Hi I'm Aerith or Aeris or wtf idklol wut is ur name and OMG is this like time paradox what I am doing rite now LOLOL?"
And the new ppl and Cid look at each other and nod like they know a big sekret that is sekret like when ur uncle takes u into the bathroom and is all LOL DONT TELL ANY1 OK! Just like that and Sakura wanted to know the sekret! "Plz tell me what is goning on and how can I get back to my kingdom and what is this place!?" she cry.
And the man, not cid but the hot 1 lol, was liek "I am Squall or Leon lol wtf wut is up w/ all the poop cave ppl havin two names LOLOL uknowwhatImean! But anywayz, I think that u have been CHOSEN!"
Sakura was a kind of suprised to hear that but not really caz a part of her just always knew that and it was just how she was born lol liek if u a born a homo and u just cant help it cause that is how ur born lol DNA or whatever but too bad if u a homohomo man caz then u cant get Sakura LOL losers! But u homohomo lesbians can keep on wantin it lol UKNOWWUTIMSAYIN?
But anyway WTF were we a talking about? OH YEAH CHOSEN LOLOLOL I GUESS I NEEDA TAK MY MEDS?!
But yeah and the short girl was all "I am Yuffie and I only have 1 name lolol isn't that weird rite? But yeah u have a Key Blade! Liek OMG that is soooooo cool! We knowed another person w/ a Key Blade and that was Sora and u must be Spechul Chosen just like him!"
And Sakura say "Sora? He haded a Key Blade thing too? That musta been the guy was talked to me in a angle voice and give me strong!"
Tuffie said "YEAH prolly that would mak so much scientific sense!"
" I know!"
And then Lion was like "Once upon a tyme an evil darkness cam and spread all over and made it to da place were Sora lived and it was called Density Ilands and teh evil was take Soras firend Riku and mak him bad and evil and bad and teh Heatless came and all over the iland and they wanted to take all the ppl's hearts cause they dont got any and Sora friend Kairi got her hearted eat or something and Sora got his Key Blade and was flew all teh way her to Travers Town. And then we saw him about teh Heartless and said it IS the only thing that can KILL the Heartless?! And then he met des tow Disney characters name Donald and Goofy and they go off on a magical journey to sav de worlds and kill heatless and find Mickey Mouse and Kairi! And to fite that shiteater Riku who was evil now! WE HATE HIM!"
Aeris say "You got a Key Blade so you musta have to go on a journey like that too! The Heartless have run ur world and u gotta try to stop teh evil and stuff to get it back!"
Sakura listen to this and was surpise a little. Was all dis true?! Dis was a place were there were cretures called Heartless and dey take hearts? And only Sakura could fit them to git her home back? Wow! So Sakura say "Well if this be what I hav to do then it be what I have to do. DO u guiz kno were I shoulda go to kill all them Heartless?"
And Yuffie wasd like "Well wen Sora comed here he fite the Heartless here first and fite them and then he go 2 other worldz and fite them there. We didnt go so I don't knowed all teh deets and stuff, but from dere he jut keep goin to more and more worlds. And I guess he find clues and stuff like in a mastery and they tell him how 2 beat all teh Heatless! U need 2 do that 2 we tink." De others nodded that they though this 2.
"Well OK." Say Sakura."How do I get 2 other worlds? I didn't remember how I got 2 this one."
"! OMG!" Say Cid who the others had forfgot about when they talking bcuz he so ugly. "That was a time when I really did something! I give Sora Gummi Bear Ship that can tak him to other worldz! I can giv u one too since you gotta go gotta go girl gotta go."
"Well OK." Say Sakura because she not liek cid but if she need a Gummi Bear Ship and he got a Gummi Bear Ship well then that was a Gummie Bear Ship. So Sakura and her new frends leave de poop cave and start to go 2 were the Gummi Bear Ships grow when a really old man wlak right in front!
"Who be!?" Sakura ask.
"I Merlin" say old man.
"Well what is Merlin ask Sakura.
"Oh" say LEon Merlin live is a old crap house in a hole or smoething. He knkow a lot of magic on account of bein so old because when u get old u have a lot of wrinkles and magic gets stuck in those wrinkles. And Merline is REALLY REALLY old so u know what that means! And he teached some magic to Sora when he camed here. Mehbe he can give u sum 2 2 help u?!"
Merlinda say yes that be true. He want to a give Sakura magic. He take out he wand and wave it at Sakura. And sparkles fall on to her and shje smile. "Well dat is interesting. It look liek Sakura already have magic that is a lott better than mine! There is nothing I can do 2 make it better cause she so awesome!" say Merlin.
Sakura smile while everyone agape becauze well of course she allready learned magic as a little girl in Kawaiicrystalandia! But she didn't want to be mean and not let Lerlin help so she say, "Well I already have magic, but I know wut u can do to help me!" So she pik up Beyonce from her pocket and take Merlin's wand and swished it on Beyonce. Beyonce glowed and shined and went "Ooooooohhhhaaaa!" and she puffed! When it was done Beyonce have a cute little pink wand with A heart star on top and she point it at Cid and he turned to be black!
Every1 said "Wow Sakura, that was a goode Idea to give Beyonce magic too!" And Sakura say "I know huh. You said to me that Sora have people to help him on he journey so I thinked maybe Beyonce could help me lik that! And now she have magic so she can! TOGETHER WE WILL FIGHT THE HEARTLESS!"
And Sakura and Beyonce strike a awesome pose together and Yuffie and Aerith and Aris clap and cheer and Squal go oh yeah and Cid chomp on some watermelon because he was balck now. And Merlin said "Well there is my magic lesson 4 you. You now have magic, Beyonce. Use it wisely with great power comes great power." And Beyonce nod yes and Say yes because she could also talk now! I mean talk words beside because of Sakura. But don't worry she will still say Kupo sometimes because it's just soooooo cute! Then Merlin open the wrinkles under his arms and fly away on the breeze and the others keep walking to place where Cid keep Gummi Ships.
But when they were walking Lion was like "Okay guys you guys go to the place where Gummie Ships are I want to tak Sakura to show he how to fight some of the Heartless for prracitce!" "Ok" say Aeris and Yuffie and they go to where Gummie Ships are, but Cid follow Leon and Sakura because he looking at Sakura's butt.
Squall take Sakura and Beyonce to the place where the big clock tower was near. "Ok, he said. The Heartless like to come near here and fight ppl to steal there Hearts. I am gonna watch u while u show me ur best moves."
"Well ok" said Sakura even thou she had fight like a ton of those Heartless in chappie one remember? If you don't it must be cause u didn't read chappie one! WHY DID U DO THAT U NEED TO GO BACK AND READ IT ONLY THE REST OF THE TORY WON'T MAKE SENSE!
So Sakura make her Key Blade and Beyonce jump to be next to her with her cute little wand out and ready to do magic. After a minute they didn't have to wait no more because here come the Heartless! They appear out of no hwere and they were the little kind and aloes the kind with helmets on their heads! And there was aloso the big fat ones that were eating cake and that was how they got so fat! Sakura get ready and leap right at the bigger ones whie Beyonce point her wand at the small ones. Sakura whip her Keyblade WHIP IT GOOD! She cut up those fat Heartless who were so slow on account of how fat they were! That will teach them no to be fat any more! BUT LOOK OUT! Some of the fatties had seen how hot Sakura was a lookin in her booty shorts and crop top and they were jealous! They a look down at their rolls of lards and didn't feel pretty because they weren't! So they stick they hands down they throat and BARRRFFF! It flew and made acid on the ground just like used to do when I did that!
But tit was ok because Sakura was dodge because she was skinny. So they still died and that is actually good because if you die no one can see how a fat your are! LOL!
Beyonce make a squeak and then wave wand and then magic! The little heartless were fire and then they fall on the ground and wiggle and die! And wiggle and Die with brains coming out! While this was happeneing Squall was watching and there was liek cool music playing in the back like on TV cause I LOVE when that happens!
Sakura and Beyonce had almost kill all of the Hertless in Traveerse Town when they said "Hey where is Cid?!" Because no one had been watching Cid because he was black now and that made him blend into the darkness and be hard to see. Squallo said "Omg there he is!" And he pointed right by the fountain and Cid was hanging from the clutches of a BIG BOSS Heartless! "Help me!" Said cid. The Heartless shook him like a dead dog and he sreamed!
SAKURA" Say Suqll. "This is ur chance to SHOW ME UR MOVES! Beat that boss Heartless and I will kknow ur good enough to go on this journey and do it all night long. And Squall jump and hind in the fountain.
"Okay" said Sakura. "I am a gonna beat that thing! Beyonce, cast the Super Fast spell on me!"
So Beyonce wave her wand and cast the Super Fast spell on me. Sakura moved and when she did she move like a cheetah that was on the prowl. So fast! Move! Run! Jump! Uppercut it! STIKE! She swuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnngggggg her sword Keyblade and it cutted the boss's legs off its body. It screamed and flew around and Sakura jump and leap again into the air after it.
That boss jump on the roof of those hotels you know the ones that are some red and some blue and some green I think. The boss climb upa tower and hump the tower liek that Donkey Kong movie. And he was a shaking Cid a so herd that his brains were making watery noises!
Sakura growed his angel wings that I mentioned from before. They were soft liek down pillows and they were pinkish because she was a pinkish angel. She close her eyes and rise up into dey sky. She swoop down onto the roof and stand in frond of the Heratless Boss. She did a powerful smash onto the roof that destroyed the whole roof and sent it down to crush every1 in side but it is ok because my history teacher tolded me that you hve to make SACRIFICES in war! So those people were a sacrifices but thye didn't mind!
The Heeartless droped down to the ground again. Sakura flew down from roof ran up to de boss and She did five twists around and around and around and cut it's head RIGHT off! The body was dead now and it fell to the ground and so did Cid. Sakura and Beyonce ran to Cid and see if he was ok and his teeth all fell out with blood on his shirt.
Squall came ranning to them. "Good job Sakura, you can DO it! You and Beyonce beated that Heartless and I kow u can do it again laterz. You beated ur first boss!"
Since they beated a boss Beyonce and Sakura leveled up a buttload! Sakura was now level 32 and Beyonce was lvl 15.
So now that the hotel was destroy and ppl dead by the town was saved they kept on going to where the Gummi Bears were. They walk up to the warehouse and Because he was black now Cid had to break in lololollol WHEN U SEE UR TV FLOATING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT PUT MY TV DOWN, BLACK MAN! And they all go inside and Sakura say wow this is where Gummie Bear Ships come from! And all around her was Gummie Bear Ships a growin.
Cid was like "Ok Sakura, pik which 1 you want!"
So Sakura looked at all the Gunni Ships for to find the perfect one. She stop at one that was hot pink with stars and hearts and flowers on it and it say Sakura on the side in cute bubbly letters! "Oh this is the one I just knowed it!" She said and Cid gave it go her he gave her the keys OMG I am liek so jealous cause not only did Sakura have carriages back home but now she have a Gummie Bear Ship too! LUCKY. And the Gummi Bear ships came with a fridge 4 martinis and had an Abercrombie store inside in case Sakura need new clothe while traveling de universe because HELLO u gotta look good 4 deh universe! MS UNIVERSE.
So it was a time fro Sakura to saw goodbye to her new friends. She get hugs from Aeris and Yufie who was a crying becuz she leaving on a jetplane downt' know when I'll be bak again. They give her items like Poenix Down to save death and potions to heal boo-boos. And they hug Beyonce good bye too. Squalo trie to kiss Sakura because he had fall in love with her that day, but she say "I'm sorry Leon, I am saving my virginity for my wedding." And Lion was a crying but at the same time he know that he was a never good enough for Sakura cuz he was emo. So instead he just make out w/ Beyonce. And Cid was try to touch Sakura's boobs a one last time but she said "LOL I'm not into black guys!" But it ok because Beyonce cast magic so that Cid was black no more and was just a hick again.
So Sakura jump into the pilot chair of Gummi Bear ship w/ Beyonce at the shooting things chair. They lift off into space w/ Star Trek (or is it Star Wars lololo wtf is the difference btween those 2? Do da fuck even cares?!) warp speed. The firneds wave good bye.
Beyonce and Sakura were sucked into a black hole and in space now. Sakura say "Ok Beyonce this map I have say that there is another world in the south from here. So we just a gonna flow south!"
"Kupo!" Say Beyonce. (AN: And that means OK!)
So they fly south for a few mintues! But! They see other gummis a flying toward them!
"Omg, say Sakura. Leono did a never tell me that Heartless can flew Gummis too!" She did a warp drive manuver so they didn't a hit any Heartless ship. "Beyonce, used a fire cannons to blast dose bitches!"
Beyonce use the fire canon and blast those bitches. The Heartless burn baby burn disco inferno and they died from 2nd degree burns in outerspace and so they also couldn't breath and they heads exploded from no air and they try to scream but IN SPACE NO 1 CAN HEAR U SCREAM. So yeah.
As all de Heartless crahs and die Sakura and Beyonce laugh and say "Yeah BOOIII." But oh NO! Up right behind them was a comming a Heartless ship that was a much bigger than the others! That ship take out a huge gun and a fire a shot at our hero.
The canon laser shot hit right on one of de wings of the Gummie Bear Ship! "Oh no," scream Beyonce. "Mistress Sakura, we have damage on the right side wing! We are a gonna crash! DO SOMTHIGN!"
So Sakura do the only thing she can a think to do! She see a round planet only a little bit away and say "We r gonna be to make a crash landing there on that world! Hold on Byenoce!" So they a did a barrel roll HARD and zoom zoom zoomed into the side of the planet!
CRASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!
All was a quiet in the burning wreckage of de Gummi ship.
AN: Lolomg! Dat a end on da cliffhanging I guess! But lol tat was apretty gu think you introduze 2 more charies like Beyonce! Lol I am a gonna by a doll of her.
