Author's Note: Ok, guys! You have spoken and I'm back with more! Thanks to all my readers, but especially those reviewers! What's an author with out an audience and I'm just glad you're enjoying it!

Warning dear reader: This chapter may contain... shall we say suggestive scenes... and for those of you, who are staunch womens libbers... you may not exactly love everything Carly has to say... then again that should be nothing new...

Anyway, you may get a little annoyed with me for this chapter because… I'm sorry I couldn't just go with the obvious route! Part of what I adore about Carly is her twisted logic. It keeps Jarly interesting as a couple when so many of their other pairings fall flat. You've got your left brain, straightforward, organized thinker(probably because AJ took out a big chunk of his right brain in the accident) and this crazy, pretzelly, right-brained plotter. Throw them together and you've got… 24 points of perfection! Lol (I'd like to see how JaSam fairs in the same testing! Just saying.)

So, if you hate me now for this, feel free to tell me. LOL I'm going for a walk thru Jason's brain next chapter… Which is always fun! Luv ya and ENJOY!

P.S ~ Don't expect any consistency in chapter length. It's just gonna depend on the muse! I've got a little too much right brain activity to be that organized... :)


What Happens in The Dark

I stared out the window, my mind running back home while Michael and Morgan leaned against the opposite window trying to see what sites were visible from the air. My boys were thrilled about seeing Africa. Although, they were a little disappointed that it wouldn't be Jason showing them the many fascinations he had taught them about, they were planning to tell him all about when we returned. God, going to Africa was supposed to be about saving jax, but how could I let myself forget that this was supposed to be our family's someday trip… Me, the boys, and Jason. Thinking about what could have been with Jason My mind conjures one memory after another...

Bobbie laughs, "Looks like he's having the time of his life."

"He was," I agreed. "I mean, we all did. Michael loved the-the beaches and the water and everything. And AJ was-was the perfect tour guide-slash-romantic partner."

Bobbie watched me as I refused to make eye contact. "Hmm. And you? What were you?"

I cleared throat, and tried to figure out how to explain while avoiding another argument. "Hawaii's really, mmm, paradise, you know."

"Carly—"

"I've never been any place that romantic, you know," I admitted, helplessly. "So if every sunset and every beach made me think of Jason, so what? It didn't hurt anybody. I was the only person who knew." I lifted my chin defensively, preparing to take whatever she threw at me. "We just never had anything like that. We never had vacations and moonlight and romantic dinners, walks in the—we never had the-the enjoyable things, you know, the easy ones. Only the hard stuff. It just doesn't seem fair."

Fair. Fair. Fair. As the word echoed through my mind another conversation took over my brain.

Lila rolled into the room. "I thought I heard someone in here. Would you prefer to be alone?"

"Of course not, Lila. I always enjoy hangin' out with you," I reassured her tearily coming to sit in front of her chair.

Lila smiles gently. "Even when you've been crying?"

I look away drying my tears. "I was just looking at garden." Where Jason first walked away from our family, I thought. "The last roses are blooming. I remember you telling me that the prettiest ones always bloom before the frost. I hate thinking of the rose garden barren and desolate. The house surrounded by snow. It was like that when I came here last year and it's so… isolated. It just feels like you can never get away."

She watches me carefully. "Do you want to get away?"

Only Lila would ask that question without an ounce of accusation. "I shouldn't. This is everything I ever wanted… when I was a kid. I used to cut out magazine pictures of, you know, houses and jewelry and clothes—and always told myself that I would be married to the perfect man." I began picturing the perfect man. In his dark suit with no tie. Tan skin. brown hair. Piercing blue eyes. "He'd be rich and powerful and—I promised myself I would be powerful… someday. That I would always dress right and act right. I just thought that was what mattered, you know. I though it mattered more than it does." I take a deep breath and tried to rationalize my decision to be in that house. "Except Michael, he seems happy here, doesn't he?"

Lila raised an eyebrow slightly, and answered carefully, "He seems to be."

"And that should be enough, shouldn't it?" I asked discouraged. "If my child is happy, then I should just let go of the things that I can't have?" I take a breath remembering the little things I missed the most. "How it feels to play pool and slow dance to the jukebox. Or watch somebody come out of the water holding my baby and know that I gave him the best." I come back to reality clutching my hankie tears streaming down my face. "I'm not making sense, am I?"

"My dear, I understand you perfectly," she assured me with her gentle smile.

I wipe my face before emerging with a self-deprecating smile. "You know what? I think you do. And you don't even seem to hate me for it. You're like him, you know. I mean, you're really like him. You're a great listener with a beautiful heart. You would never do half the things I've done in a million years, but you seem to know or you seem to understand why I did them. I'm more like Edward, you know." I grinned at her noting the twinkle in her eye. Maybe that's what she sees in me—why she likes me so much. "Whereas I've always got some sort of scheme or a plan or I'm always gearing up to fight over something that half the time once I get it, I don't even want it." I pause and asked gently, "He's hurt you a lot, hasn't he? Edward?"

She smiles ruefully, "From time to time."

"Well, you know what? He didn't mean to. He just—he just knows that you're so much stronger than he is and so much more true to yourself that he made the mistake of thinking that because you could understand what he did that you couldn't be hurt by it." The tears began falling again. "See the thing is you forgave Edward and the two of you got to try again. But what if you never got that chance? What if love never came back and all you were left with was this house and the jewelry and the little tiny bit of hope that maybe, you were doing the right thing for your child? Could you stay? Could you be happy?" I begged her to give me hope.

But she was honest to the end. "I can't answer you that, dear. You see, I'm married to the man I love."

And I never have. I jolted as the words whisper through my mind unbidden. Of course, I did. I loved Sonny… sort of. As I fight that thought, another memory takes hold. One far more recent.

I pulled back long enough to try to regain some kind of sanity. "Wait, wait, wait. What happened? WHY, Jase?" I ask desperately.

"I've loved two women more than I ever thought possible and lost them both because I pushed them away," he begins explaining, breathing harshly. "The first was and will always be the one I loved the most. She slept with my best friend." His intense blue gaze seared through me like a laser, slicing my heart. "The second slept my worst enemy, Ric Lansing, tonight."

My mouth dropped. "Sam." As soon as her name left my lips, I regretted speaking. I could feel fresh pain and torment, pour from his heart, and see it fill his eyes. I caressed his face. "You've never lost me and you never will. No matter how hard you push me away, I'll always be standing right here by your side. It's the only place I've ever truly belonged. Don't you know I'd do anything for you—be anything for you?"

"Can you be mine tonight?" he rasped, lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair from my face.

"I've never really been anything else, but yours. But if you need me to say it, I always have been yours and I always will be yours in anyway you want me and for however long you want me that way," I whispered, pressing kisses all over his face.

"I need all of you tonight, Carly," he groaned. I responded by kissing him with all of the passion I had in my soul, determined to heal him with the bottomless well of love I been saving for him alone all of my life. As he returned my kiss, I felt his arms band around, lifting me; I instinctively wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to the pool table.

When his mouth tore from mine, journeying down my neck, I whispered, "It's yours. You can have me tonight and always. I'll do or be anything for you." I lost my breath for a moment as his teeth found purchase on that sensitive spot that only he ever found. "Please," I moaned. "I just want to make you feel good again."

Jason pulled back, eliciting a groan of need, as he reaffixed his gaze on mine. The heat in his eyes was enough to scorch his name on my soul—if his name wasn't already permanently engraved there. That sexy smile I'd missed so much began taking over his face stealing my breath yet again. "We're gonna start here on the pool table. I saved it just for you to christen it." His words sent a jolt like fire through my veins. "Then, we're going to make love in every inch of this penthouse. I want to fill this place so full of us that neither of us can ever enter a room again with feeling the other. can I have you like that?" he growled, pulling the tie on the wrap dress I had changed into for the flight. Who knew when I was thinking about comfort on the 12-hour flight, it would pay dividends. Shivers of delight and craving raced through my body until all I could say in my desperation was "Finally."

"Mom?" my son's voice interrupted my thoughts causing me to fight a blush as I turned back into a mom.

"Yeah, Mr. Man," I answer as nonchalantly as possible.

"Are you sure Uncle Jason is ok?" he asks full of concern. "I know you were worried about him. you took really good care of him, right? You made him feel good again, right?"

Such innocent questions that caused such delicious images to try to overtake my mind. Oh, son you have no idea! "Of course! I made your Uncle Jason feel better than he has in years," I reassured him. That sex had been so amazing I was tempted to ask if it was tantric! "You know, I always your Uncle Jason my best. Last nigh was no different. I made sure he had a smile on his face all night long, honey." I had to fight the cat-that-ate-the-canary grin that was threatening my composure as the image of Jason's shit-eating grin as he broke me in all the right places until I could only whimper. I still managed to beg for more.

"He'll be ok while we're gone, right, Mom?" he asked, his interest weaning as his worries eased. He began glancing over at Leticia and Morgan looking at something in a book.

"Would I ever leave your Uncle Jason if I wasn't absolutely sure he was ok? He was still smiling when I left this morning," I told Michael.

"Good," he approved with a nod. "I don't want Uncle Jason to be sad. Me and Morgan are gonna make him a scrap book while we're in Africa, that's just for him. And next time we'll do it together as a family; even dad can come if he wants."

With that said, he rejoined his brother and nanny while my mind turned back to leaving the penthouse only hours before.

I woke up wrapped in Jason's arms with a smile I couldn't have removed with the best plastic surgery money could by, not that I cared to. Feeling him shift onto his back, I rolled onto my stomach to enjoy the rare pleasure of watching this incredible man, my Jason, sleep. My heart soared at the sight of his beautiful face so peaceful, so serene,... so smiling. That smile is ALL me. Feeling love and hope well in my chest, I pressed a kiss into his chest as I let images of the most incredible night of my life control my brain. It had been a night of firsts. I smirked, still unable to believe we'd killed a box and a half of condoms. The man was insatiable. THANK GOD!

I reluctantly rolled out bed careful as I tried to stand. I felt a million unused and underused muscles scream at me for the abuse. The things that man could do to a woman... I only remembered three-quarters of that from our old days at Jake's. I hate to think who taught him the rest, but my Lord, if the man ever wanted to turn pro he could teach porn stars and gigolos the world over a thing or twelve. No one since Jake's has ever hurt me so good. I stretched very carefully before standing to make my way to his bathroom. I detoured to his closet planning to grab one of his shirts, when I saw something that stopped me short and brought reality careening into view. Clothing fit for a pixie. Sam's clothing obviously. I quietly checked his drawers as well and found more. In that moment, his words from last night hit me.

"I was actually afraid I might do something stupid this time."

"Can I have you tonight?"

"I need all of you tonight."

As the words 'stupid' and 'tonight' echoed through my head, I began feeling like an idiot. I was the 'something stupid' he did because it was clear that last night was just that. And there I was again, building up this grand romance in my head where none existed. The man was on the rebound and as his best friend, I knew that better than anyone. This was always supposed to end with the sunrise. I looked out the window at the dawn of a new day, and let myself mourn, like Lainey taught me. I remembered her telling I had a right to my emotions no matter how irrational others believed they were. I'd just lost the best thing I never had one more time, and still I couldn't regret our night together.

As I wiped away my tears, a new resolve hit me and I began dressing clearing the apartment of all evidence of my- WHAT THE HELL? Who rips a bra in half? Suddenly, the memory of that moment runs through my mind and a smile drifted across my face and I thought, There are other bras. Maybe more men should try it. Unfortunately, his haste required me to take my walk of (anything but) shame braless, a feat I hadn't attempted since my 20s. That was back when I was always looking for trouble w/a certain blue-eyed hottie. Maybe if I'd kept at it, I could have worn him down. Nah, that damn 'Jason Quartermaine/Dudley Do-Right' instinct that drew him to his endless line of pixies would have ruined any chance of that.

Looking back over the penthouse that now held my most incredible memories, I hesitated to go. One more look can't hurt. I ran up the stairs as quietly as possible and took long last look at the most amazing man I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. He still had that smile, but now he was reaching towards my empty place in the bed. I played with the tie of my wrap dress so tempted to rejoin him. So I shook myself, pulled that image into the deepest, most hidden recesses of my heart, and I bolted silently.

He had looked so cozy and peaceful. I just wanted to roll around in that bed with him forever. Thank goodness, sanity returned before I screwed things up irreparably. And all because of these crazy dreams of us together that I could never just let go of. But that was the last thing Jason needed: more complications in a complicated life. I would never take advantage of him that way, but I certainly know who would have. Thank God I was there to keep that little tramp Lizard from sinking her claws into my Jase. He must be the most naive enforcer on the planet because I just know if I wasn't there he would have fallen for her 'woe is me' routine. Lord knows what would have come from that considering how fertile the little thing is... She could procreate w/a rock and a drunken, needy Jase would have fallen right into her snare with her swearing she never meant for it to happen. Please! You don't climb twenty flights of stairs in a blackout for a shoulder to cry on... especially when that shoulder is tall, gorgeous, chiseled with incredible blue eyes and a blind spot for pixies in distress. She would have pulled another Snow White just like Robin did all those years ago and screwed w/Jase's head six ways to Sunday.

Thankfully, I arrived just in time to dodge that bullet and save the day... no strings attached. Well, no new ones anyway. So what if I have to get over a few dreams again. I'm on my way to Africa with my boys and there's a gorgeous, successful, great guy there waiting for me... sort of, maybe. For once, I did the right thing and didn't ask for more than he could give. I was a true friend. I put my life on hold to take care of him until he could deal with what comes next without drowning in the pain. Then, I left him to work out the rest on his own. I mean, I'm only a phone call away if he needs me so... Who am I kidding?

No point in lying to myself. My reasons were definitely at least partially selfish. One, I didn't think I could handle being his rebound fling, if I had to watch him reconcile with Sam. Just need a little space for that one. Two, not really in a headspace to hear him explain away our night together as anything less than the earth-shattering experience it was. And three, I'm not sure if I would be strong enough to remain unselfish, if I had to do it while looking into his soul-piercing eyes or hearing that voice without an ocean between us. It's true. I'm weak when it comes to Jason. So I ran away and thanked God for the timing of this trip abroad. The phone beside me rang, jolting me out of my thoughts. I knew exactly who it would be before I answered. Still I was not prepared for what he said.

"Why?"

~TO BE CONTINUED~