Y'all I had to sit down and go through all the episodes of SVU on Hulu to make a legit timeline for this story so I wouldn't screw it up. A lot of people liked the one-shot so I turned it into a two-shot.

I know, I know… I need to work on my other stories but I'm still trying to figure out where I want to take them and this one came so easily for me…

Please review.

When they got to the bedroom, Olivia decided to remain in her black tank top and gray sweat pants. Normally, she'd change into a large t-shirt and strip down to her panties but she wasn't going to do that if she was sharing a bed with Elliot.

He stripped himself of his shoes, socks, and jeans, leaving his boxers on. When he took his shirt off, Olivia was relieved to see he'd been wearing a white tank top on up under it. But when he began to take that off, she stopped him.

"Leave it on," she told him. Her voice was even and demanding, it was almost a warning.

Elliot nodded his head and complied to her request. He pulled back the covers and got on the right side of the bed, then Olivia joined him, getting in on the left.

The dim light from her lamp on her bed side stand was still on and that's how she left it.

Olivia buried herself under her covers and turned on her left side, facing away from Elliot. She was going to try to go to sleep but she didn't know if she'd be able to accomplish it. Too much had happened over the past two days. Elliot had been through way more than her but it was still all at the forefront of her mind.

Elliot was laying on his back with his hands propped behind his head. There was plenty of space between them and he was deep in thought. His mind was swimming with thoughts and memories of his children and his wife, even a few thoughts of Olivia had been thrown into the mix, not that he could control what was in his head right now anyways.

Olivia had gotten him off just a day and a half ago. It was a rare occasion but one that he had greatly enjoyed.

He could still remember the first time she'd gotten him off after they'd had sex. And while she'd never let him do the same for her, there had been a couple of occasions that she'd gotten herself off as well.

Flashback:

The first time she'd made him come after their first intimate encounter, she'd been on her knees. It'd happened almost a year after they'd slept together.

They'd had a hard case and it was only her second case since she'd been back from Oregon. A dying man by the name of Jud Tierney had decided to confess his crimes since he was set to die soon of lung cancer. Tierney had sent his daughter and grandkids a birthday card each year with a hundred-dollar bill in each card but his daughter had never opened a single one.

At first, they'd thought Tierney had molested his daughter and was trying to buy her forgiveness but they later found out that she was his adopted daughter, he'd saved her from being burned to alive as a baby. Tierney was a murderer and a bank robber, but apparently, he drew the line when it came to kids.

By the time his daughter found out the whole story, she'd reached his room too late and her father had passed. She had never been able to say goodbye or tell him she forgave him.

Olivia was alright, the case was hard but she could deal. Elliot was having a bit more of a problem. Being separated from his wife was difficult but the fact that Kathy had sent him divorce papers a few months ago was hitting him hard. He didn't want to sign them, he couldn't, it meant that he'd lose his kids.

Right before this case happened, the twins had had their church ceremony where they got to be baptized and choose the name of their saint to watch over them.

Kathy and Elliot had been fine at the ceremony, more than fine, which had given him hope that they could work things out but Maureen had planted herself between her parents on the church pew and Kathleen flat out refused to speak to him.

Then the case happened and he did what he shouldn't have, he let it get to him and he saw his kids in the place of Tierney's daughter. All of his children hated him at the time but Dickie and it was probably just because he was a boy.

After Tierney had died, Elliot had walked Olivia home to her apartment. Something he hadn't done since she'd been back from Oregon. She'd known he was looking at the case from a personal perspective. Olivia could also tell he'd been having sleepless nights in his apartment that he was forced to call home.

So, when she invited him into her apartment that night, she'd been planning to give him a release, only he hadn't known it.

"Beer's in the fridge" she told him once they were in her home and her front door was shut.

He'd gone to retrieve the offered beer and she'd gone to change into black sweat pants and a t-shirt.

When she came back, he was standing in front of her living room window, looking out at the city.

"It bothers me… that she didn't get to say goodbye or tell him that she understood…" Elliot told Olivia when he heard her enter the room. "She hated him almost her whole life… like my kids hate me…" he trailed off, taking a sip of his beer.

"They'll come around…" Olivia promised him as she came to stand beside him at her window.

"This divorce is killing me… it's killing them…" Elliot responded, sounding defeated. He was so full of stress and anxiety that what should have been a relatively simple case for them, he'd turned into one of their worst.

"Everything's fucked up right now… I'm just fucked up right now…" He told her in an honest huff.

Olivia looked at him, wondering when he'd started to refer to his separation as a divorce. That was a new development for him. She was aware he'd been served divorce papers. He'd been served them months before they'd slept together but he and Kathy had tried to reconcile.

Elliot had ripped up the divorce papers when he and Kathy started counseling but with the way he was talking now, it sounded like he'd been served again.

"You can't kiss me…" Olivia told him quietly and he turned his head to his left, looking at her with confusion.

"I wasn't gonna," he'd replied confused, his accent thick. He sat his beer in the window seal and looked at her.

"And you can't say my name when you come…" She'd told him, then instantly dropped to her knees in front of him.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. Yeah, they'd slept together months ago, but this was still new territory for him and she'd been very clear about them not having sex again.

"What are you doing?" He asked in one quick breath even though he knew what she had planned because now she was grabbing his belt and unbuckling it.

Olivia remained silent as she moved on to the task of unbuttoning his jeans.

Elliot grabbed her wrists quickly, one in each hand, stopping her movements.

"You don't have to do this… I know I'm a mess and I'm stressed but… this isn't your job…" He'd told her, trying to get her to stop but he was weak and he'd dreamed of seeing Olivia Benson on her knees in front of him before. It wouldn't take much for her to persuade him to comply and that's exactly what she'd done.

"When was the last time you slept?" She asked him softly and his grips around her wrists tightened slightly. Olivia looked up from her position on her knees and met his eyes. "When was the last time you felt good or even content, like the weight of the world wasn't on your shoulders?" Olivia continued.

Elliot declined to answer her questions.

"Exactly…" she stated and he dropped her wrists and began gazing out the window again.

He huffed. "You don't have to do this." He told her again in a whisper with an uncertain face, not looking at her.

"I want to…" She replied as she pulled his jeans down along with his boxers. He was already semi-hard. He'd been that way ever since she dropped to her knees in front of him. What man wouldn't?

Olivia took him in her hand and massaged him up and down, fondling his balls as she worked.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, bracing himself with both hands on the window seal.

"Mmhmmm…." He let out a low moan as he rocked into her hand. She could tell it'd been a long time for him.

"Remember my rules…" She told him lightly.

Olivia didn't know why she didn't want him to moan her name or kiss her. Maybe it was easier for her, maybe it helped her distance herself from the fact that she was on her knees in front of a married man who happened to also be her partner.

She'd been away from him for so long. Sure the computer crimes transfer was volunteer. They'd been too close and had slept together, but the undercover stint with Dana Lewis was not her choice. It's something the FBI had pushed her into and they'd threatened to give Cragen hell if she didn't go.

When she'd gotten back, Elliot had looked older and like he'd aged. She was only gone a few months but she could tell some shit had gone down. On top of that, she knew about Dani Beck. They hadn't talked about her much and Olivia wasn't sure she even wanted to know more.

From the moment Olivia had gotten back from undercover, she'd wanted to do this, she'd wanted him in her mouth. He clearly needed it and more but she wasn't going to give him more. They weren't sleeping together again.

Just giving him head was wrong… he was still legally married even if he had divorce papers in his possession. She didn't think he'd ever sign them though. But for now, she had her two rules of no kissing and no saying her name.

It wasn't long before he began rocking his hips into her hand. His eyes were closed and Olivia half wondered if it was because he was trying to imagine Kathy on the floor in front of him instead of her but Olivia thought about it for a second and realized that she knew better than to wonder that.

They'd admitted there were feelings between them when they'd been too close months ago. He was enjoying her touch right now, not Kathy's.

Olivia leaned forward, her tongue made contact with his ball sack and she licked, lapped, and sucked at his skin. She heard his sudden breath intake and she now wondered if Kathy had ever given him a blow job. She didn't seem like the type but then again, anything was possible.

"Jesus Christ…" Elliot moaned as Olivia licked from the base of his dick to the tip and began to take his length into her mouth.

She bobbed her head up and down a few times and then let him go with a sucking sound. She began to lick up and down his dick as if it was a popsicle stick on a hot summer day.

"Fuuuuck…" He hissed at her and popped his eyes open to watch her work. "Am I… Can I touch you? Am I allowed to touch you?" He asked, almost scared of her rejection.

Olivia's eyes were filled with fire and she remained silent, still working on his manhood but she took his right hand from the window seal and placed it on the back of her head, giving him the green light as she took him in her mouth once more.

Her movements were fast and he gently gripped her hair to thrust into her mouth careful not to hurt her and not going too deep. He let her control the pace and how deep he truly went in her mouth.

"Ummm…" he moaned, having to bit his lip so her name wouldn't slip out, afraid that if it did, she'd stop.

After a few more minutes, he was ready to blow. Elliot removed his hand from her head and placed it on the window seal and stopped his hips from thrusting even though he was still in her mouth.

"Okay, you gotta stop… I won't last much longer…" He warned her and she took him by surprise as she wrapped her arms around his waist, grabbing his ass, and forcing him deeper into her mouth.

If Olivia Benson had any gag reflexes, there were currently not present.

"Ohhh…." He moaned and his head lolled back in ecstasy once he realized she was set on him cumming in her mouth.

She looked at him with hooded eyes as she began to deep throat him. It only took two, maybe three times and he was cumming down the back of her throat.

Elliot's face scrunched up and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the window seal as tightly as possible.

"FuckFuckFuck!" He said loudly and groaned through clenched teeth as his sperm filled her.

Olivia waited until she was sure he was done spurting sperm before she released him from her mouth. Then she licked his tip clean of the left over residue and planted a small kiss on the tip of his penis. She'd only given head a handful of times but she'd found each time they'd liked it when she'd done this.

She pulled his boxers and pants up for him once she was standing again. He seemed to be trying to get his bearings back still.

She left his pants and belt undone though, he could do that.

Elliot wiped a hand down his face.

"Jesus, fuck, how are you single?" He asked her in disbelief and she rolled her eyes at his remark but kept a small smile on her face.

"Can I… Do you want me to…?" Elliot was trying to ask if she wanted him to get her off. Her face was flushed and her breathing was uneven. He could tell she was turned on and she'd just done something amazing for him, it was only right that he returns the favor but she turned him down.

"No," she responded.

"Are you sure?" He asked, looking at her face.

She walked closer to him and turned his body to face the window again. He complied, realizing she was going to do something and needed him to work with her.

"Okay…" He told her, letting her know he was game for whatever she needed.

As Elliot stood looking out at the window once more, Olivia placed herself behind him, her left arm coming around his side to rest her left hand on his chest.

"Just… stand here, okay?" She asked him with a whisper. Her voice was laced with arousal.

"Yeah." He agreed. Elliot felt her move behind him. He was trying to figure out what she was doing and he'd felt her right elbow graze his back lightly.

It took him a few seconds to realize that she was pleasuring herself with her right hand. He'd finally concluded that while her left hand had balled into a fist gripping his shirt, her right hand was in her sweat pants going to work between her legs.

She was going to be the death of him…

"Damn, Olivia…" He growled out as he made sure to keep his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants.

Olivia responded by ramming herself into his back and tightening her left arm around his chest, holding her body against his back.

"Goddammit El…" She gritted out. "I said no name calling…"

He smiled to himself. He could feel her pressed against him, he could feel her right arm's motions against herself.

"You told me I couldn't say your name while you got me off…" He said her. "But I'm not the one that's getting off now…" he replied in a whisper. He was definitely getting hard again.

He enjoyed the side of Olivia Benson.

She pressed her forehead against his shoulder and her left fist tightened as she slightly sped up the motions against her clit with her right hand.

"Mmmm…" Olivia moaned into his shoulder when she hit a sensitive spot. Her eyes were closed tightly. They had been for a while now.

Elliot bit his lip. He was torn between playing with her and remaining silent while she did her thing.

"I gotta tell ya, Olivia," He said, making sure to draw out her name as he turned his head sideways to make sure she could hear him. "This is fucking hot…" He whispered.

She let out a small whimper. "Why can't you just shut up and let me work?" She asked him in a breathy whisper as she pumped in and out of herself.

Elliot could tell she was close. She was so close. Her movement was fast now and her breathing was giving her way. She was about to cum.

"You're close…" He whispered to her and if he could see her, he'd see that her eyes were slammed shut and that her mouth was slightly open in ecstasy.

"Yeah… I ummm… mmhmmmm…" She tried to respond to him but nothing coherent came out.

"Oliviaaa…." He hummed with a smile and that was it, he'd pushed her over the edge.

"Mmm… Ahhh, fuck!" Olivia half yelled into his shoulder. She was almost angry at him. He'd made her come and he knew it, but she felt so good in that moment that she couldn't find it in herself to be angry.

She removed her hand from her sweats and wiped it on her shirt.

Elliot tried to turn around but her left arm held him in place.

"No." She stated firmly when he'd tried to move. Her forehead was still planted against his shoulder.

"You okay?" He was suddenly worried that he'd crossed a line, if there even was one left to cross with them.

"Yeah, I just need a second… give me a minute…" She asked in a calm voice. Her eyes were still closed and she was taking in his cologne.

"You're safe with me, Liv. You know that right?" He asked her. "Whatever we do or don't do, it always stays between us no matter what. Whether I'm married or single, you will always be safe with me." He told her. Elliot didn't know why but he all the sudden felt the need to comfort her.

"I know… It part of why I'm attracted to you." She confessed surprising him.

He stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and so did she. It was like they were waiting for something that would never come. He'd missed her when she'd been gone and if she wanted to hold onto him for a bit, he was fine with that.

"So…" He said trying to break the ice. "I didn't know you could deep throat…"

He felt her smack him lightly on his arm and he chuckled.

Present Day:

Elliot smiled at the memory. It was one of his favorites. He'd been so turned on and he'd never seen her act like that before.

Then, a phone began to vibrate and ring.

Olivia sat up slowly and turned to Elliot. "You on call?" She asked in confusion.

He shook his head. "It's not mine."

Olivia knew it wasn't her own either, then her eyes settled on her dresser across the room. The phone belonged to Alex Cabot and it was sitting on her dresser ringing.

Olivia got up and walked to her dresser, gazing at the phone.

"What the fuck is Trevor Langan doing calling Alex at nearly one in the morning?" she asked more to herself than to Elliot.

He didn't answer her but it was mostly because he knew she didn't want one.

Then the phone beeped with a text message.

Elliot sighed, knowing he needed to ask.

"What's it say?" He asked Olivia.

The brunette didn't respond right away. Instead she joined him back in bed, returning to her former position of laying on her side, facing away from him.

"He's asked her if she wants to meet a Maloney's for drinks…" Olivia mumbled.

Elliot removed his hands from behind his head and laced his fingers, laying his hands on his stomach.

"It doesn't mean she cheated on you, Liv…" Elliot told her gently.

Olivia actually let out a low laugh. "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" She looked at him over her shoulder with a cocked eyebrow. Olivia had slept with a married man. She had no room to be hurt if Alex had slept with someone else.

"Besides," Olivia continued. "We were casual… she can fuck whoever she wants…" Her voice was laced with venom as she turned her head back away from Elliot.

After a few minutes of silence, nether one of them could drift off. Her head was now filled with swarming thoughts about Alex and random accounts of their time together. Now she wondered just how many people Alex had been with. They were casual or at least that's what Olivia kept telling herself. They'd never called each other "girlfriend" and they'd never gone on dates in public or held hands in a crowd.

Sure, they'd have a date night here or there at Olivia's apartment or Alex's condo but that was it. They'd always had sex though, always. And it had been good, or at least Olivia had thought it was good but now she was questioning whether or not she really had satisfied Alex.

Olivia was jolted out of her thoughts by her front door slamming shut. Alex was trying to announce her presence in the apartment no doubt.

Elliot jolted up quickly, he was very awake and alert but he'd left his gun and badge in Olivia's kitchen.

"It's fine…" Olivia promised him. "It's just Alex. She's probably here for her phone." Olivia cooed, remaining in her same position in bed.

Elliot laid back down. "She has a key?"

"We were fucking… what do you think?" she shot back.

"Hmph…" Elliot almost pouted.

"You have a key too so stop looking for an ego boost…" Olivia told him, almost rolling her eyes. Elliot was a typical man sometimes.

They heard footsteps to the bedroom door and Olivia knew Alex would enter without knocking. She always did and it'd never bothered her, even now.

Elliot was laying on his back with his hands clasped and resting on his stomach just like before, and Olivia was away from him, turned on her side.

Alex opened the door.

"Olivia, I came to get my-" Alex stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the scene in front of her. She gazed at Elliot who continued to stare at the ceiling because he didn't know what else to do and Olivia rolled her eyes at the intrusion even though she'd known it was coming.

"Your phone is on the dresser…" Olivia told her.

"How long have you been sleeping with your partner?" Alex threw at her, as she stalked over grabbing her phone.

Olivia sat up and got out of bed with her hands on her hips. If Alex wanted a fight, then she was going to get one.

"You know good and well I'm not fucking Elliot…" Olivia threw at the blonde fiercely. "I never have and I never will. Take your phone and leave."

Elliot stayed quiet and he was glad Alex hadn't been looking at him because if she had, she would have seen him wince at Olivia's lie. He was so dumbfounded as how it could roll off her tongue so easily. He wondered if she lied about other things too and how often.

Alex shrugged her shoulder. "He's in your bed."

Olivia scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her. "His wife kicked him out temporarily after the shit that went down yesterday and he came here. The cribs aren't that comfy and I wasn't going to be an asshole friend and make him sleep on my lumpy couch…" Olivia told her with confidence. "And that's a low blow, Alex… even for you. We were going to sleep, thanks for the intrusion by the way."

Alex had fire in her eyes, almost like she was jealous.

"Did you fuck him right after you fucked me?" The blonde asked in a low voice, determined not to quit, which nearly knocked Olivia off her feet but she didn't let it show.

Elliot's head snapped towards the two women, he needed to watch this play out.

Olivia walked quickly to Alex, getting in her face. The A.D.A started backing up until her back hit the wall beside the door and she had nowhere else to go. Olivia braced herself by placing her hands on the wall, one on each side of Alex's head. Olivia got directly in Alex's face. She let her eyes glance at Alex's lips before looking back up into the crystal blue eyes that resembled Elliot's a bit.

They were so close their noses were almost touching.

"And was Langan a good fuck?" Olivia whispered so lowly that Elliot almost couldn't hear it. This was a side of Olivia he'd never seen before and he was intrigued. He also wondered if Alex counted this as Olivia admitted that she and Elliot had fucked, but he didn't think so.

"No…" Alex whispered back, bracing herself on the wall.

Something inside Olivia broke. She had expected Alex to at least try to deny it and part of her thought she'd been being irrational, that Alex had only been sleeping with her but this news only fueled Olivia more.

"Did I not give you everything you needed?" Olivia whispered as her anger turned into seduction. Her brown hair fell around her face making her all that much sexier.

"You did…" Alex whispered in reply.

And then Olivia kissed her. Both women closed their eyes and Olivia braced her forearms on the wall so she could press herself up against the blonde.

Elliot was still trying to process what was happening. He wasn't sure if he should leave but he couldn't get up because he had no pants on. Alex would see that he only had boxers on and then all hell would break loose again.

The heated kiss turned into a tiny make-out session and Elliot couldn't believe his eyes. His partner and A.D.A. were making-out against the wall, neither one paying him any mind. He felt himself becoming hard, he couldn't help it.

Olivia was the first to pull back from the kiss but she stayed in Alex's face.

"Give me my key." The brunette requested firmly.

Alex complied immediately, looking down and taking the key to Olivia's apartment off her key ring. Olivia grabbed it with her right hand and threw it at her dresser, not caring if it bounced on the floor, and it did.

"Now take your phone," Olivia stated in a dangerously low tone, "And get the fuck out of my apartment. You're not welcome here anymore."

Olivia leaned back and let Alex make her exit. The blonde didn't bother looking at Elliot or telling him goodbye. The brunette waited until she heard her front door shut before she pushed herself off the wall and crawled into bed with Elliot.

Elliot had turned on his left side. He was prepared to talk to Olivia because he didn't think she was okay, even if she would try to tell him she was. But much to his surprise, she curled right up to him.

She slipped her left hand around his waist, put her head in the dent between his left shoulder and head, and she shoved her left leg between his legs.

"Alright, okay…" Elliot soothed, leaning down slightly and bringing the comforter up to cover them both in their embrace.

He heard Olivia sniffle. He knew she must be getting emotional, which was a rare thing for Olivia Benson.

"You didn't love her, huh?" He asked, half joking but half serious.

"I didn't…" Olivia mumbled into his shoulder. "But I could have… god, I could have." This was hard for her. She hadn't been in a relationship in a long time and she didn't even count her and Alex as a relationship, not a real one anyways. "I wanted to… I wanted to finally love someone other than…" She stopped abruptly, not wanting to finish her statement. She was going to say she wanted to love someone other than him, other than Elliot Stabler, the married man that wasn't supposed to be occupying her bed.

"You can say it if you want… if it'll make you feel better…" He told her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He knew she loved him and he loved her back. Things were just complicated. "If you say it…" Elliot whispered lowly, "I'd say it back, you know that."

They shared a bond like no other. The problem was, they put the kids first, always. Elliot, Olivia, and Kathy all put the Stabler kids first. None of the adults were truly happy with the way things were at the moment, but there was a little boy now, Eli, who needed his father. And while Kathy still didn't know about the things Elliot and Olivia did, she still would have probably let him stay at home for the kids' sake.

"NO…" Olivia said quickly and loudly. "We aren't going there…" she warned him.

"Okay." He agreed, leaving it alone.

Olivia shifted, trying to snuggle closer to him but her leg brushed against his hard on. She couldn't really be surprised. He'd just watched two sexy women, a blonde and a brunette, make out against a wall in front of him. Could she really expect him not to react?

"I guess we gave you quite a show?" She stated, moving her leg up and down, teasing him. Really, she was trying to change the topic. She didn't want to talk about feelings or any of that bullshit anymore.

Elliot chuckled. "You're gonna get another show if you don't stop… and you just might be part of the act…" He told her seductively and seriously.

Olivia surprised him by rocking her hips into his and that earned her a groan from him as he shut his eyes, grabbing her hips and making her be still.

"You said we couldn't sleep together again…" He stated, opening his eyes and searching for hers as she pulled her face out of his neck and placed her head on the pillow beside them.

"And that still stands." She told him. "I got you off yesterday and it was because you needed it, not for pleasure." Olivia explained. "I've never gotten you off just for pleasure, but if you need to get off now, you can and I'll talk you through it…" She told him.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but I don't need a play by play, Liv… I know how to jerk off."

"That's not what I meant, El…" She whispered seductively as she leaned in to kiss his neck. After her make-out session with Alex, she was turned on too, but she wouldn't fuck him.

He pulled away from her, he needed to see her face again.

"You're seriously giving me the green light to get off? Right now, here?" He questioned with curiosity but his eyes were filled with lust.

Olivia nodded, giving him a small smile. "Same rules apply… No kissing me, no saying my name." She reminded him.

"And what are you going to do?" He asked, partially hoping that she'd join him and get herself off. The first time he'd experienced her pleasuring herself, it had been sexy as hell.

"I was thinking I'd just talk…"

"Talk about what?" He asked but his hand was already in his boxers. He'd snuck it down there moments ago.

"Me and Alex?" Olivia questioned. "Guys find that sexy right? And It's what got you aroused in the first place so…" She would normally have rules against this. He didn't get off with her unless he needed it, unless he'd been too stressed, angry, or something had happened but his hard on was currently her fault and she felt bad for getting him hot and bothered.

He didn't waste any time kicking back the covers and taking his boxers off and throwing them on the floor behind him. Olivia replaced her leg in between his.

Elliot was already fisting his dick.

"This won't take long." He told her. "You won't have to say much."

Olivia nodded and linked her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. "When you come, do it on my sweat pants. Don't worry about them, I'll take them off after." She told him and he nodded.

"My favorite place to fuck her was on her desk in her office…" Olivia's voice was low and sexy, it made his dick twitch. He could just picture the two women going at it in Alex's office.

"Late one night in her office, her door was locked and I pushed her down on her desk. She pulled her skirt up and to my surprise, she hadn't been wearing any underwear all day… just for me…"

"Goddammit…" Elliot hissed as his hand sped up and he grunted as he visualized Olivia's story in his head.

"I placed her feet on the desk and spread her legs, opening her up to me… she was glistening like she'd been waiting for it all day… I bent down and ran my tongue over her clit. She tasted amazing and let out this low moan that I'll never forget…" Olivia continued.

Elliot grunted again and she could tell he was close.

"I covered her slit with my mouth and she locked her legs behind my shoulders. My tongue darted in and out of her body as her hips moved against my face… it was one of the best things that I've ever tasted…"

"Shit…" Elliot scrunched up his face tightly as he came. "Shit…UGH…" He spilled his seed onto Olivia's leg and lap. Olivia smiled to herself. What they were doing was wrong, she knew that, but at the same time, she was pleased that she could make him cum like this.

She gave him a minute to catch his breath and he gently kissed her on the head, then wiped his dick off once more on her sweatpants.

Olivia moved off the bed, careful to not get semen on her sheets or comforter. She stripped out of her sweats and turned them inside out to contain the mess, then threw them across the room into her dirty clothes ben. This left her in her black tank top and black bikini fitted panties. Olivia was honestly too tired to care so she got back in bed.

She was apparently full of surprises tonight because she resumed her position of holding Elliot close and stuffing one leg between his two legs, resulting in his now limp penis being pressed firmly against her naked thigh.

"Liv…" He questioned.

"Just don't think about it…" She replied and grabbed the comforter to pull back over them.

"You're breaking a lot of your own rules tonight, you know?" He told her. Elliot was partially worried for the reasoning behind this.

"I'm aware."

"Well… Do you want me to… You know…" He asked her, wondering if she wanted him to get her off, if that was going to be a rule that she'd break too. He'd do it if she asked him to.

"No." Was her reply as she snuggled into his shoulder. "I was just fucked before you got here, remember?"

Elliot nodded his head, choosing not to verbally reply. He didn't need more images of the two women together, he'd end up getting hard again.

After laying there a few minutes, Elliot made the decision to get up and slide his boxers back on. It made him more comfortable, but he mostly did it for Olivia's sake.

"You didn't have to…" She told him as she watched his boxers slide over his ass and into place.

He smiled at her and cocked his head to the side. "I did." He replied, giving her a knowing look. Olivia gave him a thin smile.

When Elliot got back into bed, he noted that Olivia looked sad again, much like she'd looked in the bunks after she'd gotten him off.

"You were upset yesterday because of Cabot, right?" He asked gently.

Instead of answering, Olivia scooted herself closer to him, hooking her left leg over his, wrapping her arm around his mid-section, and laying her head on his left shoulder. Touchy-feely Olivia Benson was rare. It meant that she had a lot on her mind, a lot of anxiety, or was really stressed.

Elliot could tell that she was deep in thought. He wished he could read her mind, he'd like to know what she was thinking, not just now but most of the time. She was so used to being a private person and putting up her walls that sometimes she completely shut herself off from everyone. He didn't even think she knew she was doing it half the time.

"El?" she whispered to him in a small voice, bringing him out of his own thoughts.

"Yeah?" He replied at he wrapped his right arm around her shoulders.

"I know we don't do this often and we only do the sexual stuff once in a blue moon…" She told him. "But I… I really need you to hold me tonight." Olivia took a deep breath and when she spoke again, he could tell her voice was laced with tears. "I know you're here but… honestly… I've… I've never felt so alone…"

Emotional and vulnerable Olivia Benson scared Elliot.

He instantly backed up slightly and turned on his left side since she'd been on her right-side hugging into him. Elliot hiked her left leg higher on his thigh so he could slide his right leg further between hers. He put his right hand on her lower back, bringing her in close and he hooked his left hand behind her head as she rested against his left shoulder.

"I'm here, Liv… and I've got you…" He promised her, kissing her head gently. "You're not alone…" Elliot told her firmly. "If you ever need this, if you ever need me like this just pick up the phone and call or text me, Liv…" He continued. "I don't care how often or not we do the other things… I'll always be here for you like this, always." He told her firmly. Elliot almost started to get choked up himself. It hurt him to see her hurt.

Elliot heard a dark, watery chuckle come from Olivia.

"Yeah… sure." She replied lowly. "Go ahead and tell Kathy that you have to leave her bed because your mistress needs comfort…"

"Hey," Elliot said sternly and he pulled back so he was holding her away from him. He gazed into her eyes and stared at her intently. "You don't get to talk about yourself like that…" He whispered in a serious manor. "You're not just some woman I run to when my wife doesn't put out. I'm not some ego-boost seeking asshole that gets off on going back and forth fucking two different women." Her eyes shined with more tears and his own eyes watered as his hands gripped her shoulders tightly while he faced her. "You're way more than that to me, you know that… Don't talk about yourself like that, Liv. I won't stand for it."

She sniffled as her left hand made its way up his chest to grip his right shoulder tightly. After a few seconds, she broke eye contact with him after nodding, letting him know that she'd heard what he'd said and had taken it all in, then she resumed her position of laying in the crook of his neck.

"And just so you know… Kathy and I haven't been intimate for a few months now…" He confessed but she'd figured as much. Otherwise, he wouldn't have come so easily these past couple of times she'd witnessed him getting off, so she chose to remain quite upon his admission even though it was a small comfort to her.

He could feel her tears on his shoulder and it was odd because after everything that had happened the past two days, this should have been him crying, not her. He was the one who'd almost lost a son and whose kids and wife currently hated him. He had been the one to lose his temper with his family, his son, and almost doing the unthinkable but for some odd reason, he was holding himself together while the woman in his arms was falling apart at the seams.

Olivia was shaking slightly and he was trying his best to comfort her. She nuzzled herself further into his chest and his heart ached.

"Is there anything else bothering you?" He asked carefully, wondering if this was all truly stemming from her fallout with Alex. "Anything you need to talk about?" He tried. Elliot was almost worried that she was upset because of what they did, because of what they'd become. He was scared the sins they were committing were weighing on her shoulders.

"No…" Olivia said quietly. "It's just… Alex was the first person I was with after Sealview happened… she's the only other person I've done things with sexually since then aside from you…" She continued.

Elliot swallowed hard.

"Does she know about Sealview?" He asked, wondering if Olivia had shared more information with Alex than she'd shared with him.

"No… she doesn't even know I was sexually assaulted…" Olivia replied and Elliot took a deep breath.

Aside from the time that he found her on the floor in her kitchen with the vodka, they'd only talked about Sealview once. It'd been after Chester Lake had been arrested for murder, they'd lost Casey due to suspension, and Fin had put in transfer papers. Olivia had tried to go down on him because he'd been stressed as hell but she'd flashed back and he'd almost lost it.

It had been after Eli's birth because they'd stayed away from each other after Kathy became pregnant and gave birth to Eli. But in that moment, the case almost killed him. He'd been avoiding diaper duty and slept in the cribs. Olivia had come to him like the first time, dropping to her knees but she hadn't even touched him before the flashback hit.

He had reacted instantly, trying to bring her back to reality. After a few seconds, he was successful but he hadn't let her go down on him again. What had happened with her flashback was enough to tell him that something similar had happened to her in Sealview. He'd always wanted to ask her about it but he couldn't bring himself to do so yet and now still wasn't the time.

Now, they were side by side in each other's arms but he was gazing straight up at the ceiling. "It was just easier to be with her… I think because she's a woman." Olivia continued. "I trusted her…"

"It's alright to hurt, Liv… dating or just casual, she meant something to you." He told her honestly.

Olivia was silent for a while after his statement. She was in deep thought again and once again, Elliot wished he could read her mind. He needed to know what she was thinking. Sure, he could ask her but she probably wouldn't tell him.

When Olivia finally spoke, she threw Elliot for a loop but he was quick to recover.

"Did I hurt you?" Olivia asked quietly. She knew they both had feeling for each other. "Sleeping with Alex?" She added as she leaned back, away from his shoulder to look into his eyes. He knew what she was doing. She was trying to read him. She wanted to know if he'd lie with whatever answer he was about to feed her.

Elliot took a deep breath.

"What hurts is you not trusting me enough to tell me." He told her honestly.

Olivia huffed. "I trust you with my life, El. Trusting you isn't an issue…" She stated, plopping her head back on the pillow so she could still see his face as they talked. "It was new, I'd never been with a woman… it happened out of the blue… I trust you." She promised him.

He nodded his head. He kind of understood where she was coming from and maybe he was just being greedy with wanting to know about her sex life.

"You didn't answer me…" Olivia whispered. "Did I hurt you?"

He looked into her eyes and held her gaze. "Nah." He told her with a small smile. "Thinking of you with Cabot is every man's wet dream…" He chuckled as he hugged her closer. She lightly hit him on the chest.

"I'm serious." She told him.

"Oh, my poor heart…" Elliot faked a hurt facial expression and put his right hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt over Olivia having an ongoing thing with Alex.

Olivia started laughing and hit him again lightly. "Dammit El, I'm trying to be serious!"

Elliot smiled at her. "You can fuck whoever you want, Liv." And she looked at him with desire, she couldn't help it. "I don't own you… doesn't mean I won't be jealous though." He told her honestly.

"Maybe I like you jealous…" Olivia whispered.

"Don't flirt with me, Benson…" He joked, getting closer to her face. "You're gonna end up breaking more of your rules."

They were both happy that the tone had gotten lighter, the could both relax. Olivia was done being emotional and Elliot had done a good job of making her laugh.

"I'm about to break one right now." She told him firmly as she leaned closer to his face, but she didn't kiss him, not yet.

"Can I have a goodnight kiss?" She asked. Olivia was asking for his consent even though she already knew he'd comply.

"You never have to ask for permission to kiss me, Liv…" He whispered, looking her face up and down. "Those are your rules, not mine." He said as he leaned down, locking their lips together. It'd been a long time since they'd kissed. She knew it was wrong and so did he but they couldn't help it.