Thank you all for sticking around to read my dumb little crackfic! ^^ This chapter we'll do... Um... Kaito! Yay! Because we can! I OWN NOTHING.


1.) Kaito's last name (Shion) isn't official.

''Hey! At least greet the readers!'' To-chi scowled.
''Okay, okay, fine. Hi. Happy?'' Rin sulked.

2.) In the Shion family there is Kaito, Akaito, Kikaito, Mokaito, Nigaito, Taito, Zeito, Kageito, Kaiko, Akaiko, Kikaiko, Taiko, and Nigaiko.

3.) That's a lot of kids.

4.) Kaito's parents must have a lot of trouble with them.

5.) They probably forget their names.

6.) Poor Kaito.

7.) He's lonely.

8.) Mister Lonely.

9.) He has nobody.

''Len, don't you start.''

10.) He loves ice cream.

11.) When he gets home his wife pretends to be dead.

12.) And he looks forward to it...?

13.) Oh, he's a gummy bear.

14.) Yes he's a gummy bear.

15.) Oh he's a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear.

16.) He's a jelly bear.

17.) Cause he's a gummy bear.

18.) He's a moving grooving jiving singing gum

Gumi was dragged off the computer before she could finish the 'fact'.

19.) He always feels like, somebody's watching him!

20.) And with good reason.

21.) Rin.

''What?'' Rin said indignantly, quickly throwing her telescope out of the window.

22.) He is a vampire.

''WHAT?!''
''It's true, I swear it is!'' IA declared.

23.) Being a vampire means he likes to run around in a cape and drink people's blood.

24.) And in the daylight he turns to dust.

''THAT'S A LIE!'' To-chi had the weapon poised once again.
''You and your goddamn harisen!'' IA complained, mooching off.

25.) He's keyoooot! ~

''Miku-senpai, spare me.''

26.) Rin's telescope just landed on Piko's head.

Everyone looked out the window to see a tiny dot moving about frantically.

''DAMN YOU ALL!'' he yelled at them.

''Gee, I wonder what he's saying,'' Gumi pondered.

27.) Kaito's bringing sexy back!

28.) He's bringing sexy back!

''Why did you type that twice, Miku-senpai?''
29.) Cause.

30.) Of.

31.) Emphasis.

32.) HE'S BRINGING SEXY BACK!

''All right, all right, you don't have to say it again!''

33.) Kaito goes yandere for Master.

34.) And he kills Meiko. And Miku. And Rin. And Len. ...And basically all the other vocaloids.

35.) Master don't care!

36.) He love it! x3

''STOP!''

37.) Master is a creep.

''OH. NO. YOU. DIDN'T!'' everyone collectively gasped at Kaito's sudden rudeness. Wait, when did he get there anyway?

38.) Oh yes I did.

39.) Oh no you didn't.

40.) Oh yes I did.

41.) Oh no you didn't.

42.) Oh yes I did.

43.) Oh no you didn't.

44.) Oh yes I did.

45.) Oh yes you did.

46.) Oh no I didn't- DAMN IT!

47.) I'm so over him anyway.

48.) Oh yeah? What about the time you were a yandere rabbit for Master?

49.) Ehehe... Old habits die hard.

50.) Kaito is the cutest yandere rabbit ever.

And with that, you can consider the matter of yandere rabbits closed.

51.) Kaito has a Badass Scarf of Asskicking.

52.) HIS SCARF KICKS ASS!

53.) He's Gakupo's MBFF.

''What's a MBFF?''

''Manly Best Friends Forever!''

54.) Kaito excels at making Extremely Lame Puns.

55.) He loves ice cream.

56.) YOU SCREAM I SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

57.) He likes every kind of ice cream.

58.) Except invisible ice cream.

59.) Invisible ice cream makes him CRY.

60.) Because it's not really there.

''I think we've established that.''

61.) Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a beautiful young girl who lived with her cruel stepmother and-

''Hey-''

''SHUT YOUR TRAP TO-CHI WE'RE READING CINDERELLA!''

62.) Kaito does not like Cinderella.

63.) He prefers Sleeping Beauty.

''WHAT'S WRONG WITH CINDERELLA?!''

''Calm down Len.''

64.) There's a knock at the door.

Everyone turned round to open the door. Teto peered through the keyhole.

''Oh crap it's Piko come for revenge.''

Rin promptly dragged a chair over to the door, blocking Piko's entrance.

65.) Piko is pissed.

66.) Piko + pissed = Picasso?

''HOW THE HELL DOES THAT ADD UP?!'' To-chi hit IA's head hard with the harisen.

67.) Imagine if Kaito had a Shiteyanyo.

68.) It would be called 'Aoyanyo'!

''Please, do not bring Shiteyanyo into this conversation.''

69.) Hehe.

''What?''

''Nothing.''

70.) He's 13 years old.

71.) LIES LIES LIES!

72.) The ice-cream is a lie.

73.) Dramatic gasps from the crowd.

''NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo...''

74.) He's a cool guy.

75.) Cool guys don't look at explosions.

76.) They blow things up and then walk away.

77.) Who's got time to watch an explosion?

78.) Gumi is now dead.

Gumi lay on the floor in a random pool of blood.

79.) The first question is, why was she in her room, drinking a poisoned bottle of wine?

''What the heck are you talking about Len?''

80.) Kaito's awesome.

''Oh, we're just moving right on from Gumi's death, is that it?''

81.) I told you, we're not heartless, we're strong.

82.) She will be resurrected next chapter anyway.

''Still...'' To-chi looked mournful whilst everyone else had a complete troll face on.

83.) He is a statue.

''I thought he was a vampire?''

84.) Not anymore. That was 60 things ago. Get your facts right.

85.) And he is also a werewolf.

86.) Being Kaito sucks.

87.) Life gave him lemons.

88.) And he said:

89.) ''When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Kaito Shion lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!'"

''I never said that!'' Kaito cried.

90.) Oh yes you did!

91.) Oh no I didn't!

92.) SHUT UP BEFORE THIS GOES ON ANY LONGER!

93.) THIS IS NOT A PANTOMIME!

94.) ...

95.) It isn't?

It's a little hard to describe what happened next, but let's just say it involved Neru getting thrown into space.

96.) Neru is friends with Wheatley now.

97.) Neru can't breathe.

98.) Neru died.

99.) Amen.

100.) Amen.

''How many people are gonna DIE in this dumb fic?!''