Lost Feeling
The sun glowed past the trees towering above ThunderClan territory. Outside in the forest, Lelouch and Leafpool were both out hunting, the other cats in the group deciding to split up to cover more ground. Although Leafpool spent most of her time in the medicine cat's den, it wasn't uncalled for her sister to ask her to join some of the other cats on a hunting patrol.
"There's a mouse over there." Lelouch told her.
"Yeah, I smell it as well." Leafpool responded, slowly getting into a hunter's crouch and inching closer to the prey. Once she was close enough, she pounced forward and once she caught the mouse she dealt the killing blow.
"Nice catch, Leafpool." Lelouch commented with a smile.
"Thanks. You know, sometimes I forget that I can hunt. Remember the last time we went out hunting together?"
"Yeah, a Heartless almost got you that day. I'm glad I was there to kill it." He replied with a smile.
"You and me both." She giggled. "It's nice you have you back around ThunderClan, Lelouch. Something was missing all those moons you were gone…but now everything feels back in place."
"Thanks Leafpool, that means a lot." He sniffed the air and turned around. "There's a vole around here." He got into a hunter's crouch and slowly surveyed the area until he caught sight of his target. Leafpool watched the black tom slowly move towards the prey and quickly leap into the air when the time was right. Even with how long he's been gone he still knows how to hunt as good as any warrior. She thought, letting out a smile as he looked back at her with the prey in his jaws.
"Ready to go back to camp?" She asked.
"I'm not sure. Is this enough?" He wondered, and she nodded.
"They're reasonably sized for what they are."
"Okay then, let's go." Lelouch took the lead and Leafpool walked a few pawsteps behind him. For the entire time, she couldn't keep her amber eyes off of the violet-eyed cat in front of him. She knew that she missed his presence for the duration he was gone, and the same could be said from any ThunderClan cat, but she felt like she missed him more than most of them. She felt very fond of Lelouch, especially since he helped anywhere he could, but she knew there was more to it than that. There's just something about him that just…I don't know how to describe it… She thought, although she was more than familiar with how she felt towards him. No…it's wrong, especially since I'm a medicine cat…but also because he's Ivypool's mate. I can't help it though…
"Leafpool? Hey, are you okay?" She heard his voice, which helped break her free from her thoughts. She saw that he stopped walking.
"Lelouch, is something wrong?"
"I was just asking you about how your duties as a medicine cat have been going as of late, but you didn't reply."
"Oh, I'm sorry…" She apologized. "Everything's been fine."
"That's good to know. You have a really important job, you know. I'm sure the whole clan appreciates everything you and Jayfeather do for them." She blushed at the praise he gave her. Stop it…I can't…
"T-thank you Lelouch. It really is a hard path to walk, especially with all the rules that we need to follow that normal warriors don't."
"I can imagine. You and Jayfeather already have a big responsibility as is, and having extra guidelines adds to that." He stated. "Sorry for talking for a bit. We should get going."
"No, it's okay, really." She assured him. "Is there something else you want to ask me?" His violet gaze locked onto her, but he turned away.
"I don't want to get too personal with all of this." He responded, but she shook her head.
"We're friends, aren't we?" She asked, and he nodded. "What did you want to know?"
"Do you regret it? Becoming a medicine cat, that is." He finally asked. "I'm guessing not because you were a warrior before you stepped back into becoming a medicine cat again."
"No…that's not it…" Lelouch could sense the sudden change in her tone. It became crestfallen, and he knew that he shouldn't have asked the question. "Regardless…what I did during my time as a medicine cat would've been against the warrior code for any cat. I don't regret the decision…but after everything, I felt obliged to become one again because I learned so much. Even if I wanted to be a warrior, the only thing would be changed is what I'd be doing around the camp. Even though having a mate is open, I don't think I'd partake in it anyway, or be able to for that matter."
"I see. Sorry for asking. I'm pretty sure I overstepped my boundary between friendly and personal information." He apologized.
"It's okay. I insisted, didn't I? Actually, it's nice to have a cat around who I feel comfortable telling this sort of stuff to." She confessed, the she-cat feeling the fur on her face becoming hot. "Anything else that you want to know?"
"No. Thanks for sharing, Leafpool." The two cats picked up their fresh-kill and headed back to camp.
When the two arrived, they saw that the other cats they were out with already dropped off their fresh-kill into the pile.
"Father! There you are!" The two saw Nightheart run over to them, and Lelouch greeted his daughter with a small lick to her ear. "I was getting worried about you and Leafpool. I saw the other cats come back, but here you two are now."
"Sorry to worry you, Nightheart. Leafpool and I were just talking for a bit while we were out." Lelouch informed her. He then turned to look at the medicine cat. "Thanks for going out hunting with me."
"Oh it's nothing. We're both warriors after all." She let out a smile. "I should get going back to the medicine cat's den." She left the father and daughter together and headed over to the den. When she walked inside, she saw that Jayfeather was sorting herbs while Briarlight was resting.
"You're back. How was hunting?" Her son asked.
"It went well. Jayfeather, you don't mind if I sleep for a bit, do you?"
"Not at all. Is there something wrong?" He wondered, but she shook her head.
"I'm fine. Just a bit tired today is all."
"Well okay then. You know you're a medicine cat yourself, and my mother, after all. I don't see why you have to ask me if you can do anything."
"You're right, sorry." She apologized.
"Are you sure you're alright? You sound a bit off today. I suppose you're just going to tell me that you're fine still."
"Because I am fine."
"Right. Anyway, just go rest. I'll wake you up whenever something happens and I need your help."
"Okay, thanks." Leafpool got comfortable in her bedding and rested her head down on her paws. You can't fall in love with him, Leafpool, you can't. He already has a family, and so do you. It's wrong…but…I can't help it… The she-cat slowly closed her eyes and went to sleep, hoping that the black tom would leave her mind.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Leafpool, Leafpool?" The tabby she-cat opened her eyes to see Lelouch looking down at her. "You're awake, that's a relief."
"Wha—." Leafpool looked around and saw that she was no longer in the medicine cat's den, but instead in the forest. I can't escape him… She thought with worry. Maybe…maybe this means that I have to tell him the truth.
"Are you okay? You seem confused."
"Do I? Sorry." She got up to her paws. "What are we doing out here, Lelouch?"
"Seriously? You asked me to come along with you to pick some herbs that were apparently far away from ThunderClan, so we decided to sleep out here because we couldn't make it to…well wherever we're going." He responded. Sleeping out in the open…and herbs that are far away from ThunderClan? This is a dream alright.
"Oh…r-right." The two stood there, until Lelouch broke the silence between them.
"Um…you're the one who knows where we're going, you know." He told her. "You sure you're alright, Leafpool? Just tell me what I need to go out to get to make you feel better."
"No, no, I'm just…fine. You're by my side, after all." A blush covered the tom's face. "Whoops! I didn't mean to come off like that! I meant that you're a really good warrior."
"I figured as much." He replied with a small laugh. "Do you want to go hunting first, or did you want to find those herbs so we could get back to the clan faster?"
"We should go hunt first. We did just wake up, after all."
"Sounds good." The two walked out into the forest together looking for their first meal of the day. If this is a dream…then maybe it's going to show me the outcome of telling Lelouch how I feel. I mean, he seems like himself…but what if my mind has melded him to reciprocate those same feelings back? She wondered. "It feels strange, being away from the clan for this long." Leafpool stopped in her tracks and the tom looked back at her. "You okay?" He looks somewhat like…Crowfeather. Is that it? Is this dream mirroring the time he and I left the clans to be together?
"I'm fine…something just seems familiar." The two continued walking until she saw Lelouch stop. She scented the air and realized that there was prey nearby. She watched him get into a hunter's crouch and he leaped forward, catching a mouse and killing it with a quick bite to the neck. With prey in his jaws, he walked over to her and dropped it to her paws.
"You can have it. I'll go hunt for the both of us." He offered, but she shook her head.
"Lelouch, I can hunt too, you know."
"I know, but something's going on in your mind right now. I'm not sure what it is, but I think it'll throw you off when you hunt, no offense."
"I'll be fine." Her ears twitched and she turned around to see a squirrel running across the forest floor. She got low and slowly crept towards it. She saw it stop in place, and when she thought the opportunity was right, she leaped, but watched as it ran away right when she was about to land on it. She looked back at Lelouch to see what he was doing and saw that he was watching her, looking away when their eyes connected. She got up from the ground and looked around for any other piece of prey. She scented a mouse and looked around until her eyes locked onto it. Again, she got into a hunter's crouch and approached it slowly. Not wanting it to run away, she immediately jumped, but then saw it escape from her. She let out a sigh and walked over to where Lelouch was.
"You can have this mouse if you want. The offer's still available." He said, and she sat down and began eating it, causing him to smile. When she saw him, she became flustered, almost feeling like a little kit again.
"Thank you." She told him after swallowing her first bite. She saw that he had another mouse at his paws and looked up at him. "Aren't you going to eat too?"
"Do you think that mouse is enough for you? It's not that big, so I was going to leave this one for you as well." He explained. "I'm not that hungry."
"No, you can have it. It's only fair." She assured him. Lelouch now rested on the ground to eat his prey, taking a few small bites of it at a time. As they were eating, Lelouch looked over at her.
"Leafpool?"
"Yes?"
"When I asked you if you were okay before, you said something felt familiar. Is it just a memory of walking around here before?" This is my chance…I can tell him how I feel. This is just a dream, Leafpool, that's all it is. She said, slowly coaxing herself to tell him.
"No, it's just…being out here alone with you…reminded me of when I ran away with Crowfeather so many moons ago." She told him. "You look a bit like him too." A blush formed on his face and he stopped eating.
"R-really?" Leafpool placed a paw over her mouth and looked away.
"I didn't mean to make this weird. Sorry!" She apologized, a strong blush on her face.
"It's fine." Leafpool looked down at her mouse and continued eating. This isn't real, so why am I so scared to tell him? She looked over at the tom and saw his violet eyes were focused on his food. I feel like I already messed up… Leafpool thought as she finished the last of her mouse. She now waited for him to finish his mouse and once he did, she mustered up the courage to finally speak.
"Lelouch…there's something I want to tell you." Lelouch looked over at her. Once his violet eyes connected with her amber eyes, she slowly felt herself losing the courage to tell him, but she stayed confident.
"What is it?"
I just…I don't want to ruin how you see me…"
"See you? Leafpool what do you mean?"
"Lelouch, I…being here alone with you reminded me a lot of when Crowfeather and I escaped our Clans…but when I said you looked like him…I think it's because I…Lelouch I…love you." She watched as the sudden news caused his eyes to widen.
"L-Leafpool…I…"
"You don't have to say anything. I know it's strange to have feelings for you, especially since you and Ivypool are together…but…I just didn't want to keep it away from you." She confessed.
"But…you're a medicine cat…"
"I know, and you're only the second cat I've ever felt this way towards. I know I may sound reckless, but…I just…I just…" Lelouch got up from where he was and sat down so he was right next to her, pressing his coat to hers to comfort her. "Lelouch…"
"Leafpool, I didn't know that you felt like this towards me. Since you're a medicine cat…I didn't think much of your feelings on a romantic level…but now…" She looked up at him and saw that he looked away once their gazes met. "Leafpool…you're a beautiful she-cat. Not only that, but you're kind and caring as well. I would be lying if I told you that I don't have any feelings for you."
"Lelouch, do you mean that?" He nodded.
"Yeah. I wouldn't mind being with you, Leafpool." He slowly moved his face towards hers and their mouths connected in a kiss. Lelouch…he loves me… She thought as the kiss continued. Once they broke away after a few seconds, Leafpool pressed her head against Lelouch's chestfur. "We should run…just like you and Crowfeather did."
"Lelouch…are you serious?" He let out a small laugh.
"Just kidding. I just…don't know how we're going to live after what we just told each other."
"We'll keep it as a secret between us." She simply suggested.
"I don't know if that'll work. There will be times where I want to be alone with you, Leafpool…just the two of us, like this." He said, giving her forehead a quick lick.
"We'll find a way, Lelouch. I'd do anything to be with you…"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Leafpool, Leafpool?" She slowly opened her eyes to see the black tom looking at her. She quickly looked around and saw that she was back in the medicine cat's den.
"Lelouch, hi…" She greeted, a faint blush on her face. "What are you doing here?"
"He wanted to ask you if you'd go out on the hunting patrol again tonight." Jayfeather told her.
"Oh…okay then." She got up and followed Lelouch outside. He asked me to come out on another hunting patrol. Could he…no, there's no way he loves me too. She looked up at the stars in the sky. Nighttime hunting? I can't remember the last time I did this. The two walked over and saw Brackenfur and Blossomfall waiting for them.
"Hi Leafpool. Lelouch took us by surprise when he asked if you could join us." Blossomfall told her.
"You and me both. At least the stars are out. It's a really beautiful night tonight." She responded.
"I think we're the only cats going, so let's head out." Brackenfur led them into the forest, and when they walked a reasonable distance he turned to look at the other three behind him. "Alright Blossomfall, you're with me. Lelouch, Leafpool, stay safe out there." The two cats walked deeper in the forest to hunt, leaving Lelouch and Leafpool alone together.
"Ready to go?" Lelouch asked her, and she nodded, following behind the tom once they began moving. "Sense anything yet?"
"No, not yet…wait…" Leafpool raised her head. "There's a mouse somewhere." The she-cat looked around until she saw the tiny figure moving along the grass. Lelouch watched as she got into a hunter's crouch and pounced on the mouse, killing it with one swift blow.
"Nice."
"Thanks. Now let's find something for you." The two continued walking into the forest for a few minutes until Lelouch stopped. He saw a lone thrush slowly hopping around. He pressed his body close to the forest floor and snuck up on the bird. Once he closed the distance between them as best as he could, he leaped towards it. The thrush began to fly away while he was in the air, but he quickly swiped at it with his right forepaw, knocking it back down to the ground, allowing Lelouch to kill it.
"That was a nice catch." Leafpool said with praise.
"I thought it was going to get away, actually. I struck it just in time." He responded, picking up his piece of fresh kill. "Ready to go?" He asked, his voice muffled by the bird's feathers.
"Actually…there's something I want to ask you, Lelouch."
"Sure, what is it?" He wondered after he put down the thrush.
"Why'd you ask me to join you for this hunting patrol?"
"I thought that you'd ask that." He told her. "I didn't mean to wake you while you were asleep, but everyone else was tired and you're the first cat that came to mind when I was asked to get another cat to come along."
"Oh…"
"That doesn't completely answer your question, does it?" He stated, causing her to nod. "I also chose you because…well…when were out hunting, you said you felt obliged to become a medicine cat again…so I thought I'd ask you to do some tasks that a warrior does from time to time, like hunting." A blush rose on her face.
"Oh Lelouch…that's really sweet of you." How can a she-cat not fall for him? "I didn't know you'd even do something like this with me in mind."
"Well…what you told me today was really personal…so I thought I'd try to repay it somehow." He said, scratching his head with a paw in embarrassment.
"Lelouch…I'm really at a loss for words. You really are an amazing cat." She told him, causing him to blush.
"It was nothing, really." He assured her. "Are you ready to head back to camp?"
"No. There's actually…something I need to tell you." Lelouch looked over at her, and she gulped, knowing that there was no turning back once she told him what she wanted to say. "I…I know that this is going to sound strange, so please don't hate me for it…but…I think I'm…I'm falling in love with you, Lelouch." The black tom looked at her in surprise.
"W-what? Leafpool, is that true?" She shamefully nodded.
"I know it's wrong because you already have Ivypool, but I can't shake it off." She admitted, turning her gaze away from him.
"I don't know what to say…"
"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I know the risk that I was taking in telling you how I really feel. We should just…get back to camp." Leafpool picked up her mouse and began walking.
"Leafpool, wait." She turned around and their eyes met. "It'd be a shame to waste a beautiful night like this. Would you like to spend it with me?" Her eyes glistened, and Lelouch made his way over to her. "I know that I'm with Ivypool…but I wouldn't mind being with you tonight, Leafpool." She pressed her head under his chin, letting out a happy purr. "I should bring the bird with me." He walked back to where his piece of fresh kill was and picked it up. "Follow me, I know the perfect place." She nodded and walked behind him, her heart still pounding from her confession. They walked for a few minutes until Lelouch walked through a row of bushes. When she broke through she saw that they were in front of the lake, the stars above illuminating it with their light.
"Lelouch…it's beautiful…"
"Just like the cat I'm with right now." She let out a small gasp and looked over at him. "Too romantic?"
"A bit. Maybe save that for Ivypool." Leafpool said with a giggle. Unexpectedly, Lelouch felt Leafpool give him a small lick on the cheek, causing him to blush.
"Leafpool…I know it sounded like it was meant for Ivypool, but you really are a beautiful cat. You're sweet, kind, and caring. Crowfeather was lucky to be with you." He told her, causing the fur on her face to grow hot.
"Thank you, but you're more caring, kind, and sweeter than I am. I always love seeing all the work you've done for the Clan while you've been here." She said, causing him to smile. "Anyway, we should stop talking and enjoy this sight together for a bit. I don't want the others to worry."
"You're right, I forgot about that." He realized. "A few minutes is all we need to take this all in anyway." The two sat next to each other, Leafpool pressing her head onto his shoulder, looking at the breathtaking sight in front of them.
Once the two cats were ready to head back to ThunderClan, they picked up their fresh-kill and made their way back home. When they arrived at the thorn tunnel, they saw that Brackenfur and Blossomfall at the camp entrance.
"There you two are." Brackenfur said once he saw the two.
"Were you both waiting for us out here?" Lelouch asked, putting his thrush down before he spoke.
"Yeah. Blossomfall convinced me that the two of us should stay and wait just to make sure you both were okay." He said, and they looked over at the tortoiseshell and white she-cat, a small blush on her face.
"W-well we are clanmates after all. I would feel horrible if something happened to you both." She stated.
"Sorry for making you wait and possibly worry about us." Leafpool apologized. "We should get back into camp now. You both deserve it." The four cats made their way through the thorn tunnel and once they entered the camp they made their way to the fresh-kill pile to drop off their prey for the cats to eat when they woke up.
"Nice hunting you two." Brackenfur commented. "We should probably get some shuteye now. I'll see you two in the warriors' den." He said, looking over at Blossomfall and Lelouch. "Night, Leafpool."
"Goodnight Brackenfur." The tom left the group, leaving Lelouch with the two she-cats.
"I should get going too. Goodnight you two."
"Goodnight, Blossomfall." The two watched her make her way to the warriors' den before looking at each other and then turning their gaze away, the fur on their faces hot.
"Um…thanks for tonight, Lelouch."
"Yeah, it was no problem, Leafpool." She let out a shy smile, but could still sense that the violet-eyed tom was still flustered. "We probably should keep this to ourselves. I don't think I need to remind you that."
"O-of course! I wouldn't dare say a word. I don't want to imagine what would happen if Ivypool or Nightheart found out."
"You and me both." He let out a small laugh. Lelouch then looked behind him towards the warriors' den and then turned his gaze towards the medicine cat. Unexpectedly, in a few seconds, Leafpool felt her mouth connected to his in a quick kiss lasting a few seconds before he moved away. She wasn't sure if she was still dreaming or not, the tom being the one who initiated the sudden action. "Goodnight, Leafpool."
"G-goodnight, Lelouch." She replied, her mind trying to grasp what just happened between the two. He…kissed me… Lelouch really kissed me… As she walked back to the medicine cat's den, Leafpool couldn't keep the smile off of her face. She didn't expect to feel love like this ever again, but Lelouch was able to rekindle that feeling inside of her heart.
"So, how was hunting?" Jayfeather asked, hearing her enter the den.
"It went great." She told him.
"It must have. You look really happy." Briarlight added.
"Well just don't forget that you're a medicine cat." Jayfeather reminded her. "It's nice of Lelouch to take you out hunting, though."
"He really is something, isn't he?" Briarlight commented.
"He's such a sweet cat. I don't think I've ever met a cat as selfless, gentle, and caring as he is." Leafpool stated, a small blush on her face as she described the cat who made her night.
"Okay, calm down you two. Let's get some sleep." Jayfeather told them. Leafpool made her way over to her nest and wriggled around until she was comfortable. I can't believe everything that happened between Lelouch and I. I'm glad that he was the one to remind me how love felt.
