I get home and see Astrid reading on the couch and Sam is on the phone, I think he's talking to Edilio, I'm happy for him that Rodger's ok. I go upstairs to my bedroom, get changed into a purple top/nightgown and open my laptop. Checking through my emails I see Lana had just recently replied to a message I sent early this morning 2 minutes ago.
L: hey, how did it go?
Me: not good, I literally blew up in front of them.
L: I take it they said no during to your eruption.
Me: Why can't they realise he fricking saved us all, even if he was troubled.
L: People who didn't experience the FAYZ and think they can have an opinion on it are douchebags, want to go for a walk with Patrick tomorrow, get you out of the house stuffing your face with Chinese for a change.
Me: I can't believe that Caine, one of the strongest bravest guys in the FAYZ dies, but a dog; called Patrick lives to bark the tale -_- but I'll go.
L: lol great, see you then bye ;)
I shut my laptop and flop onto my bed take 2 sleeping tablets, stare up at the ceiling and sigh. I look at my clock and its 9:45 PM. I don't feel like eating at all so I hide under my covers like a stupid 5 year old and imagine that I'm back at the island sleeping in Caine's strong, muscly arms that feel so homely .
Opening my eyes to the sunlight peering through my window like its sadistically telling me to get my ass out of bed or it will blind me. I slump out of bed and check my phone. I've got 2hrs before the walk. I'm greeted by Astrid and Sam at the table. They are both sympathetically smiling at me like they are going to tell me my goldfish died. In the awkward silence I decide to say: "Cut the crap, why are both down here sadly smiling at me like you're ready to give me a group hug?" they stop and Sam firmly says "we heard the news, how are you honestly feeling?" I look at him, for some weird reason I feel the urge to hug someone, tears fill my eyes and I feel like I can hardly control my emotion or my body. I sit down and start weeping, feeling a flush of sadness and heart break, I had never properly cried when Caine had died, I had just pushed it back, but it must've been gathering this whole time so now I'm uncontrollably sobbing with Astrid and Sam either side of me, the two of them are probably confused because the only emotion I had ever shown them was pure sass and sarcasm. Astrid takes me upstairs into the spare room, shuts the curtains and sits me on the bed. I'm a complete mess. Astrid looks up at me and lifts my chins up saying "hey, it's ok, look how about tonight we get drunk?" my mouth drops in shock. I'm so surprised with what just came out of her mouth but cannot think of anything better. I look up at her and smirk, "why, you got bored with Sam and hoping to find a new goodie two shoes at the bar?"
