Hi everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this fanfic. Hope you have a nice day/night wherever you are! Warning: story contains BoyxBoy (don't like, then don't read), swearing, scenes of extreme violence and ratings may be turned up at a later time.
-Kenny's pov-
I looked around slowly as I stood among the reflections of myself. "Come on wimp." They whispered with anger as they watched me back away slightly. My blood was set cold with the feeling of a vicious winter in my bones. Fear. I thought in the back of my head, though I kept my fist closed tightly and my breathing flowing constantly. They all moved through the refracted glass, watching me as though I was some trained animal about to pounce. "Come on kid. Okay so you made it this far. We all know you showed some balls. But really. Isn't that as far as you can go? You're nothing more than a Nerd."
SMASH
I watched the shards of the mirror rain down in front of me.
"What is waiting for you out there really? A sweetly kind Farmer?"
SHATTER
Blood dripped from my knuckles as my hand became heavy with the weight of a weapon. My anger personified into pure loathing of myself. I wanted to scream out for this to stop. It felt as though the voices around me and the growing darkness from the gaps in place of my own conscious were tearing my head apart!
"Or can you put that anger into some real use?"
My own voice rang through me, making me pause as the long spiked dagger in my hand pierced and stabbed deeply into the air. Pausing just above the reflection of myself. My own images, staring and smirking with folded arms with a loud chuckle. "That's right. You may have your mother in you. But there is certainly something else there." It chuckled. The image slowly turning on the spot... for a moment, I thought I saw the sharp teeth of a canine resting on my own lower lip. "You think Mummy dearest is the only person you come from. That you only have your soul? You come from two people you fucking moron! as suddenly I watched my own mismatched eyes glow brightly. "Oh come on Kenny! You're smarter than that! Now chose."
I stood, trying all my might to go against the fury in my muscles. To go against the inferno of rage that was exploding out of my heart. I wanted to destroy this voice. To make it shut up once and for all. "I won't fall into line." I whispered, shaking my head and glaring myself down.
"You will fight whether you like it or not!" My voice barked loudly making me back away as the colour in it's eyes glistened brighter and more harshly. Black fur sprouting as it screamed agonised through it's breaking and fracturing bones.
What... the... fuck? I thought before screaming and backing up from the enormous wolf which was coming my way with barred teeth. "H-Hey! Easy there!" I raised my palm up, almost dropping the dagger. The muzzle of the wolf was already stained with blood and I could feel my anger surging towards me. People say that in the past that they have faced against a large dog in their test. I recalled in the back of my head.
The wolf lunged and what happened next made no freaking sense to me.
My body reacted on instinct as I threw my body onto the over grown dog, knocking us both to the side and skidding along the darkness floor. My legs wrapped quickly around it's neck and I held the dagger under it's throat tip while it began to whimper and pant. How the hell did I just do that? I thought in the back of my head as the tip of the dagger was even more dangerously close to slicing it's throat open. You need me! I could feel the anger as it thrashed about harder. This wolf... it was more than just from the test. It was me. The wolf was a symbol of the anger inside of me... the fury I kept pent up from feeling so different. From being taunted by the other Erudite kids. For coming from a mother who was a transfer... For being a freak. It agreed with me.
My arms shook trying to keep the grip around it's thick neck. "Oh look a doggie!" A voice called loudly.
"It's not a dog you farm hand! It's a wolf. You can tell that by the muzzle, the size and the fur-"
I slowly turned my gaze up and stared at the strange two visions of kids.
It was clear what factions they were from. Erudite and Amity...
A cold feeling set harder in my chest and I felt the wolf beneath me stop for a second.
I stared down at the amity kid first. Watching the way a perfect and blissful smile played over it's lips.
Before a cold smirk grew over my own.
"I'll be kind and give you a gift." I smiled at the kid who watched the dark and cold look in my eyes.
The Erudite kid had already begun to pick up on my body language.
"A smart bit of advice." I continued and watched as both began to back up slightly. "Run." I whispered and let go off my hold on the wolf as it lunged forward.
Throwing my dagger after it to make sure while it took one down, the other went down with it.
But everything darkened just before the blood curling scream escaped from the mauled Amity and the pained shriek from the stricken Erudite
I slammed my head into my hands as I sat up quickly in the seat. A strong pair of hands once again landing on my shoulder and encouraging, yet setting a calming pace for me to follow. "Three times." I whispered with a snarl. "Three times now it's ended the same way!" My chest hurt from having to repeat the test so much. That was my last chance! That was the last fucking chance I had to get a clear answer! And yet it had just been the same as the last three times I had repeated that test!
Jonathan, my instructor had whispered that if I had the heart for it, I could go back in there, once again having offered me the chance to repeat the test to try and get a clear answer again. But now I was out of time. I had repeated the test, (which I shouldn't have even done in the first place! But who cares. In this world, you have to take every advantage you are given and use it!), So sue me! I went against the rules! Anyone else would have done it if they had the back bone to do it to! Besides! I had come this far and I demanded an answer! For once in my life I was going to get a freaking answer!
"Well... this time, you proved yourself against Amity, but it's tainted by the fact you knew what was going on." Jonathan sighed.
"A-Again." I whispered as I went to take the blue liquid glass but this time a hand clamped around my wrist.
"No more." He whispered shaking his head slowly. "You're going to make yourself sick."
"But still I have three choices! How can that be! Your stupid test was supposed to tell me which faction to chose!"
I staggered out of the seat and stumbled back against the wall. My skin was clammy and was beading faintly with sweat. My stomach churned and ached as a fire coursed through it. "I didn't come h-here." I mumbled and stuttered on my words as everything was beginning to spin further and further around me. The walls and image of Jonathan in front of me were distorting and stretching, making me even more nauseous.
His arms looked like long stretches of harvest grain as he reached out and land them to rest on my shoulders. "You just have to accept it... you're a form of Divergent kid." He sighed. "I've never seen a form of it like you, but at the end of the day it's not going to change!" He looked around at his watch. I had been in here fifteen minutes now. "People will begin to get suspicious." He growled quietly, frowning deeply. "Al'right kid. You say you Erudite. That's what you tell when you get asked what you were shown in the test. You can't trust anyone. Not your Mom. Not anyone in your faction. Tell anyone and you are dead... Divergent is still Divergent and that means that you will be a target too." Jonathan's dark eyes seemed to hold some familiar pain.
"Y-You. Fucking- idiot." I growled then slumped forward as my own hand clamped over my mouth and I vomited onto his chest.
Got damn it I felt like crap... so this is why people didn't repeat the test huh?
The last thing that I remember before I passed out was my journal falling out my jacket pocket and Jonathan almost dropping me to the ground in complete and... It almost felt as though suddenly he was holding me in a fearful surprise. "Kenny Jones? That's not possible!" He whispered.
-Break Third person-
The slow sun began to rise and split past the cold breaking cloud covered expanse above, which had dotted out the stars over night. The lightning and thunder had fallen away and been lost to the distance breaking storm. The flakes of snow had begun to fall a lot more viciously now that it was coming even closer towards the end of the term and during the season but again, with the mornings heat had been blasted away without any complete mercy.
Kenny sat up bolt right as his scream shook the house hold. He could feel his vocal chords stretching out making the walls almost rattle as cracks desired to course through them. He kicked violently with as much force as he could muster with both good leg to get his constricting quilts away. He didn't want anything on him. It felt like the quilt had become some kind of constricted cobra around his body.
Not again. He thought as tears began to stream down his cheeks. His hands clamped over them as his breath seemed to stutter. His heart was a flutter with uncontrolled panic which the nightmare had stabbed into him. He really need to get his Mom to help him with these nightmares. The boy thought as he ran a hand through his damp and shaggy locks of silky hair only to collapse back against his bed as he passed out again.
For a couple of hours, that's how he remained. In and out of conciousness. Fighting for dominance out of his haunting nightmares. The medication which regulated his test, fighting to get out of his systems as he sweated it out.
Kenny quickly realised that in the future. He should just listen to the advice of others and quit while he was ahead.
He groaned as sunlight flooded over my eyes lids. The pain in his head was worse than the time he had sneaked his way into the chemical lab, inside the main educational building and created an artificial vodka... That had been one real hell of a night. Thankfully which he didn't remember... but he remembered the hang over. It went a lot of something like how he was feeling now! Though back then, it was still as though he was a completely different person. He had been going through his rioting phase. Shouting to his mother about how much he hated the others in Erudite. How they should all take their beakers and cut themselves on them before jumping from the highest part of the fence and smashing against the ground... After the head of his faction had heard about that, he had almost been forced into being faction-less. Before Kenny's mother had got him shoved onto anti-depressants by the medical office.
But the main point was.
This was worse than a freaking hang over!
He turned over and felt a cold hand press onto the side of his face as it dripped almost frozen droplets of water onto what felt like his steaming skin. The fingers moved fallen locks of hair out of his, pink tinged, fluttering eyes as the silhouetted room became evident around him. The sun came through the curtains casting an almost sunrise glow colour around the normally winter white room. "Hey baby." A familiar voice sounded as the cold caress moved into the clumps of his hair. Breaking them apart and undoing the small knots which had begun to form. "How are you feeling?"
"Ugh..." He growled with a zombie moan into his pillow. Trying to push his head further into the soft material to block out the sunlight as his mother opened the curtains and let the cold breeze wash over him further.
"You are so much like your father." She laughed gently.
"Huh?" Kenny's head shot up at that and he quickly watched how she took control of her startled face.
"Come on honey. You better get changed and have a shower. Then... it's time." She sighed softly.
"Ugghhh." He growled and slumped back into my pillow, trying with all my controlled might to forget the hell which I was in.
It only felt like a few minutes that he was able to push himself back into the forgetful blackness of limbo dreams but his mother just called back up to him. "I don't hear moving!" She shouted but then paused as Kenny heard her take a step at the bottom of the stairs.
"Kenny?" Her voice called from down stairs, more cautious now. Worried. He almost missed it as the sound of the voice completely as the sound of wind whipping against the now sun bathed windows seemed to be the most dominant noise. "You're going to be late sweet heart." His mother continued, he could hear the worry behind her tone more than anything else.
"Fine." He growled, finally giving up to the reality of his situation and sat up and swung his legs out the side of his bed.
"Okay." The uncertain reply came after a while.
He glanced out the window and waited for the sound of a car pulling out the driveway and fading down the road before he finally shook his head. Mom probably has to go check out a few things in the main building first. Kenny thought bitterly. Faction before blood. He sighed then ran a hand through the mess of blond fringe and massaged his scalp gently as blinked a couple of times, trying to keep the sleep at the bay of his vision. It wasn't as though he really even had anything planned for his choice anyway.
But either way, he wasn't going to get anything done sitting around here and moping all day. He thought to himself and sighed before pushing himself to his feet and letting the last bit of blanket slowly slide away from his bare figure and slide to the floor.
The cold air brushed of his exposed body and his arm went defensively around his torso in reaction. He wasn't really against the cold, but he certainly didn't exactly leap with joy over the fact, when it was. But now as he ran his hand down his smooth and lean torso, tracing the goosebumps as he went, he couldn't help but feel as though something was missing. Something important, seemed to just not be there for him. But touch was something he had found himself questioning about, a lot more lately. How it could provide something of a clue to him. Something he just couldn't quite explain factually. Oh it felt good. Who gave whatever else a crap. He would just figure that out along with everything else in his head.
Something just about how a touch could move across his skin... it intrigued him how it could set his nerves a light all the more brightly.
He shook his head free of the thought and stumbled to the nearby bathroom, taking a small glance at his slightly pale reflection and bed head before turning the heat up in the shower and blasting the water in a large jet stream.
He was barely able to stop himself from letting the small gasp escape his lips as he let the warm water run over his face and sink into his bones. The warmth spread through him, rapidly chasing away any lingering cold. "Just get through today." He said quietly to himself. "Just a step at a time."
-Break, back to first person-
I had tried to drag out the shower and getting changed for as long as I possibly could have. But it wasn't going to change anything. It wasn't going to change the fact that I had to make my choice and go to the ceremony.
But even so... it didn't mean that I couldn't enjoy my last few minutes with my Mom as we made our way up and took our seats. Taking comfort in each other's company for what may have been the last time.
I had absolutely no want or need to be called up there... but one thought which nagged in the back of my head was. 'what would my dad say if he was here?'
"A penny for your thoughts?" My mother wondered.
"Are you okay?" I asked quietly. Not daring to meet her questioning gaze and making sure to keep my voice low enough that no other member of my faction around us would hear our conversation. This was something that we had perfected.
"I think that question would be better suited more for you." She smiled out the corner of my eye and I gave a slight frown.
"Don't avoid my question."
"Okay, okay." She sighed and looked down ever so slightly. "I'm happy here baby. Erudite... it's a good place. It's not a bad place anyway. Better than what and how I was treated in Amity." She gave a small scoped look over to those who were all laughing and smiling each other in the large corner of the room and I followed her gaze ever so slightly.
Each faction was shoved into the stands and stone seats of the room. Pressed together under the symbols of our factions and awaiting the dreaded moment where we would make choices. "You know... if you was going to chose-"
"Don't." I growled, not letting her finish that statement.
"All I'm saying is... no matter what your choice baby. I will always be here for you-"
"Faction before blood." I kept my same cold and hard tone. Keeping back my quiet tears as I watched them beginning to take their stance at the front. Slowly preparing to read off the list of names to call forward each and every sixteen year old.
"Since when have you ever listened to the rules which were given to you." My Mom chuckled lightly but fell quiet as she felt one rogue tear break away and splash her palm. Her hand squeezed mine comfortingly. "Kenny-"
"Okay everyone!"
Our gazes locked forward as a man slowly took his stance with a gleaming silver knife.
"Okay... be brave baby." My mother whispered.
"What?" My mother rose a confused eyebrow and looked at me out the corner of my eyes as my own began to blur with the ideas and memories of what happened during the test.
Amity.
"I said be brave is all. I know that no matter what choice you make, it will be the right one. You just have to be brave in what you're choosing-"
Erudite.
"I will always have faith in you... be brave baby."
Dauntless.
My eyes flickered from one bowl to the next.
Divergent.
My palm began to grow sweaty.
I watched person after person begin to rise from their seat in each faction. Taking it turn after turn to make their choice in faction.
Faction-less.
"Dauntless."
Cheers.
"Erudite."
Applause.
"Amity!"
Roars and a field of smiles on a crowd.
Each one cheered loudly as they made their way back to the seat they came from. Hugging their parents, family and friends.
I don't have friends.
"Kenny Jones!"
My breath caught and my mother quickly gave me an encouraging push on my back as she helped me stand on weak and wobbly legs. "Come on." The man at the front nodded as I took each step slowly till I was stood in front of the vary of bowls. Staring deeply into the earth soil. Listening to the hiss of coals on the far smouldering fire. Staring at the way droplets of blood remained on each and every bowl in some way. I barely even have a family. My thoughts continued.
The image of the wolf from my test flashed through my mind. Howling deeply through my soul as I took the knife and stared up into the eyes of the man... No way.
The man... he was Jonathan?!
Those ink black eyes stared through me as I looked at the way he was tensed. Come on kid. Make your decision. His eyes seemed to say. No regret.
No fear. My thoughts whispered to me as I sliced the dagger across my palm.
I stared deeply at the Erudite and Amity bowl. Watching the way that blood seemed to have been set so precisely in it.
The droplets of blood form deeper in my palm.
Be brave baby. My mother's voice echoed in my head.
It began to warmly slide down the side of my hand.
What would my father do. My thoughts whispered.
I looked back up to Jonathan one last time.
We both gave a slow nod.
I thought of all the times my mother had given me such kindly and supported smiles when we talked about this.
I closed my eyes and blocked the world out as I made my decision.
Taking my life into my own hands.
My blood fell through the air.
I hope you're proud dad.
The sound of my blood sizzling filled the air among shock and whispers.
"Dauntless!" A voice roared.
I turned back in time to watch the Dauntless rise from their seats and roar excitedly, pumping their fists into the air and one rushing forward towards me. Clapping his hands on my shoulder and smiling. "You did it." He whispered. Clapping my shoulders eagerly. "Welcome to Dauntless." Others cheered, pulling me towards the array of seats.
One handed me a plaster which I placed on curtly before gazing back over at mother.
Tears spilled from my eyes as I watched the dark look in her eyes surface. Pain spilling over as she turned her head away from me and locked it on the floor.
She... couldn't even look at me.
"Faction... before... blood." I growled, not allowing others to see my tears and I turned my back on Erudite.
