Hey, I got two chaps up at once! Wahoo lol r&r PLEASE?
Disclaimer: Heaven's I wish :P
"Red X," I questioned, thinking I was dreaming. He laughed and I flinched at how close we were.
"The one and only, Jewel," he said in his so cocky demeanor. I shook my head and stood up off of him slightly disgruntled. He stood up gracefully, in one motion.
"What do you want," I demanded placing my hands on my hip, holding back my tears I have been fighting all morning. I felt his shock coming in through my empathy.
"What no thank you? I just saved your life," he said loosing his entire normal joking manner. I balled my hands into fist, fighting the oncoming anger.
"It wasn't yours to save!" I said. He looked at me as if I was crazy and cocked his head to the side.
"Hey, it isn't my fault you made a mistake," he said pointing a finger at me accusingly. I threw up my hands at his comment and my hood fell off.
"It wasn't a mistake," I growled out. This shocked him more so, for he stumbled back a step.
"So, what, you were going for a swim off of a freaking giant cliff? You do realize jewel, that that would have killed you," he said in a laughing tone until he saw the shame look come over my face. "Wait, were you trying to kill yourself, Raven?" He had barely whispered the words, but they reached my sensitive ears and I turned my head from his view.
"What's it to you what I do or don't do with my life," I whispered as well, not trusting myself to be louder. I felt rather then heard him take a few steps forward, coming within a few feet of me.
"I didn't want the world to be ridden of the most beautiful and valuable jewel," he said tenderly touching my shoulder. I flinched from his touch and backed up.
"It is not your business what goes on in my life, nor is it everyone else's," I said setting my hard gaze on his mask.
"So, you run when things get tough? Did you and your little bird boy boyfriend get in a fight," he asked crossing his arms. I felt unbearable rage run through my veins and I put my hands on his chest and shoved.
"He is not my boyfriend!" He barely moved; I moved more then him. I heard X scoff and shake his head.
"You know, you can't lie to me. It's so obvious you like him," he said turning his head to watch the sunset. I turned my head as I felt the tears stronger.
"It doesn't matter how I feel….he chose her. He lied to me and then fucking chose her," I screamed as a distant tree blew up. I dropped to my knees and put my head in my hands. "I am so weak. I am letting one dumb ass boy ruin my life. I want to die to end this pain. I am so freaking weak." I let the tears role quietly, but I could feel my body shaking.
"You're not weak, Raven," I heard X say before an arm was placed around my shoulders. "You are the strongest person I know. After everything you have been through, as a half demon, the end of the world, you still fight and fight. You have the courage to go out here everyday and risk your life for this city, for the people in it. You are strong. You can make it through his stupid decision. If he was smart, he would have seen what a beautiful, strong, independent woman he had in his life. He would have chosen you."
As the tears came stronger, I put my arms tentatively around him. I felt him freeze, before he pulled me closer and let me cry in his shirt.
"Hush, jewel. It's going to be ok, sshh," he said slightly rocking me in his arms, rubbing my back. The tears started to slow and I leaned back to look at him. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over my cheek catching the tears. I shivered as a gust of wind came.
"Why….why did you say all those things," I whispered wrapping my arms around myself. The wind continued and I shivered again.
"Come on jewel, let's get you home before you get sick," he said standing up with me in his arms. I watched as he pulled me to him, and then pressed a button on his belt. I felt like my stomach went completely flat, but when I opened my eyes again, I was in my dark room. I stumbled from X's grip and fell on the bed.
"Aahh. I am never transporting again," I groaned holding my stomach with one hand and my head in the other.
"Sorry Jewel," he chuckled sitting on the bed beside me. "I should have warned you, but you get used to it." I nodded and the nauseas feeling passed and I fell back on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before looking over at X.
"You know, I haven't cried in years, and I cried over him," I whispered. "I had told him my feelings a week ago and he had kissed me. He said he had to choose, but he would tell me his choice before he did anything about it." I fingered the soft purple bedspread and X nodded.
"Is that what you meant when you said he lied to you," he asked and I felt that he actually cared.
"Yeah, it is. Cyborg had told me this morning Robin had went to ask out Star last night. I was hurt, immensely, and went to talk to Robin," I said my voice getting lower, tears jutting to my eyes.
"What happened," he asked prodding me to keep going.
"I walked in on them in the same bed, they were…they were having sex and…and it hurt so much to hear him whisper her name….I ran and I didn't look back. It still hurts, so bad," I said my voice cracking and tears started streaming. X fell beside me and put his arms around me, and I didn't stop him. I let him hold me and I placed my head against his chest as he whispered in my ear.
"He was so wrong, Raven. He was so wrong," he said and I nodded letting quiet tears role. We were quiet for a while and I eventually fell asleep in his arms, letting the pain throw me into a deep and dark sleep….
When I awoke the next morning, the sun was shining through the open curtains and I felt weak as well as stiff. I immediately looked around for X, but all I felt was a note. I sat up and rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes before reading it.
Dear Jewel,
I am sorry to have left you, but I didn't know whether you would want me with you or not. I wanted to be there, to comfort you and dry any further tears that might have fallen from your violet orbs. Please, let me be there for you, to show you that there is more to life then that stuck up arrogant kid. Let me help you.
With love,
Red X
I smiled slightly before shaking my head. I don't remember why I had let him hold me the day before, but it had felt so good to be in his arms. I felt protected and loved, as if he had actually cared. Which, I believe he did. Why would he have saved me if he hadn't cared, even in the least? Instead of dwelling on that concept, and getting a killer headache, I grabbed a fresh leotard and cloak. I headed to my shower, which I turned to scolding hot and tried to calm my emotions. Today I would have to face the concept that Robin and Starfire were together. I winced at the picture that flashed through mind; the one of them in bed together. I could do it though, because like X said in his note, there is more then just Robin. I made a vow then as I was descending from the shower, that I would not end my life over him.
"Raven," I heard as well as a knock on the door. I sighed and clasped the clasp on my cloak.
"Yes Beast Boy," I said, trying hard to keep my monotone voice. I heard him take a deep breath before he answered.
"Well, I fixed breakfast this morning…and well I was wondering…if you might….I mean if your hungry" he babbled.
"Just spit it out," I said opening the door. He shuffled his feet and looked to the ground.
"I was wondering if you might come down to breakfast with all of us this morning," he said peaking at me form under his eyelashes. I was stunned, though I didn't show it.
"Will there be anything other than tofu," I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I fixed yall normal pancakes and eggs," he said smiling. I felt the ghost of a smile pulling at my lips and raised my hood.
"Ok, I shall join you," I said. He smiled wider and grabbed my hand, pulling me all the way to the kitchen. When we reached it, Cyborg had just sat down a cup of tea for me and Star was attempting to get Robin to try his pancakes with mustard. They looked up when I entered with BB.
"Well, I will be damned. You got my little sis to come down," Cy said smiling. I pulled back my hood and slightly smiled at him.
"As long as I have tea, and something other then tofu, I'm good," I said sitting beside him, facing Robin.
"Well, after you were gone all day yesterday, we didn't know," Beast Boy said taking a bite of his tofu. "Where were you anyway?" I shrugged as I felt everyone else's gaze on me.
"Yes Friend Raven, where were your whereabouts? Did you hear the joyous news that Robin and I are now doing the earth ritual of dating," Starfire asked grabbing Robin's hand. My heart clenched and I felt Robin look at me. I smiled anyway slightly, and nodded.
"Yeah, Star. I know and I wish yall the best of luck," I said not entirely lying. I did want it to work out between them because Star was my only girl friend. Just because Robin lied to me…doesn't mean I should take it out on her or their relationship.
"Oh, that means the world to me," she said coming to give me a hug. "I do hope you find and experience the love I have." I smiled though my heart was tearing.
"I do too," I whispered as she let go and she smiled big.
"So, where were you," Robin asked and I glanced at him slightly.
"Well… I was talking to someone," I said not entirely lying. Cyborg must have sensed I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because he spoke up.
"So, when's the winter festival," he asked, officially gaining everyone's attention. As the attention turned from me, I couldn't help but shoot a grateful smile at my brother. He nodded to me, smiling before joining the talk on the upcoming festival in two weeks, on December the 20.
I couldn't help but let my mind drift back to my attempt at suicide and Red X. He had saved me, and that along confused me, but what confused me more was his answer.
"I didn't want the world ridden of the most beautiful and valuable jewel," he had said I knew from his emotions that he was being sincere. I blew heavily in my head and thought back to what he had said about Robin choosing wrong. Could he really mean everything he had said, was he being truthfully and compassionate or just trying to break down my walls? Which, in truth he did. It had felt nice to be in his arms, to be held as I cried as he whispered soothing words and rubbed my back. Is it possible to be friends with this thief? Was it possible that I wanted to know him more? Yes, I did. He's seen me cry and I wanted to see the kid…the man under the mask. I knew in all reality that it was wrong to want such things, but why should I deny it. I knew he was handsome, Azar no one could deny that he was, but was I willing to get caught while getting closer to the thief?
"Oh, Robin, I do love you so," I heard Starfire say before kissing Robin slightly on the mouth. A flashback of the morning before flashed through my mind and I knew that I wanted to see the real Red X, because when it came down to it, I believed he cared more for me then Robin himself.
After dinner, and carefully denying Starfire to join her and the boys at the "mall of shopping", I cleaned the dishes and was surprised when a plate was sat beside me.
"Hey," I turned and saw Robin standing behind me staring intently at me.
"Hello, Robin," I said in my dead and emotionless voice. I looked at him eye level and was met with his muscular chest and I bit my bottom lip. Do not break down. Do not break down. "I'm almost done with the dishes, so you can go ahead to the mall." I turned to finish the last dish but his hand on my arm stopped me.
"I'm not going to the mall. We need to talk," he said sternly and he pulled me toward the couch. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and pulled out of his grasp.
"Robin, I have nothing to say to you. Perhaps another time, I wish to be alone," I said turning to walk to my room. I got maybe five steps before his arm snaked around my waist, creating an unbreakable stage.
"Raven, I'm sorry. OK, I….I like her a lot and I'm sorry to disappoint you, but," he started only to be cut off by me.
"I'm not mad at you for choosing her!" I screamed whirling to face him still trapped in his arms. He had a puzzled look on his face and I felt his confusion.
"You're not? Then what is wrong with you," he said holding me tighter as I struggled in his arms.
"I'm mad because you are a freaking jerk and a damn good liar! I fucking trusted you to keep your promise, that you would tell me first. But no! I have to hear it from Cyborg and then when I try to talk to you, I walk in on you to fucking each other! Hell no Robin. I trusted you and look what you did to me. You lying, good for nothing spiky haired little bastard," I yelled and ranted until his lips crashed to mine in an earth shattering kiss. At first I was too surprised to do anything, but then I started responding with just as much enthusiasm.
"You're so hot when you're mad," he whispered before pulling me into him again. Then, reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I gasped, pushing him off with all my strength. He stumbled back and I had no time to see his expression before I teleported to my room. I changed into a pair of soft shorts and tank top before sitting on my bed, staring at the wall. What the hell, I asked myself. What am I getting myself in to? He's dating her, he fucking slept with her and he has the nerve to kiss me! Yet, I couldn't be mad because I was just so confused. I felt a pair of eyes on me and turned to see X at the window.
"I saw everything," he said and I bit my lip. He opened his arms and I jumped in them, letting out the tears that spilled over. "I know baby, its ok. Cry all you need, jewel." I heard him call me baby, but when it came down to it, I felt comforted by his words of love. So he carried me to the bed, where we laid down and he let me cry.
Please review and I'm thinking of changing my name from iloveredx, any ideas? I was thinking of M$KED_J3W3L. Watcha think?
