Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.
Geth342: Thanks a lot for the awesome feedback. You have all given me new hope! I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next update will be on 16th/17th May. Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Smile Like You Mean It
It's scary, standing on the stage, knowing every camera is trained upon me. People are watching me right now. Me. The first tribute ever.
As soon as everyone finishes cheering and clapping, Duriem walks over to the second bowl. I have a great view from where I'm standing. Nearly every boy has become grim. Nearly every girl is looking relieved.
He drops his hand into the bowl and picks out a name. It seems to be quicker to me. Maybe because there's no way this scenario could be worse.
"And our male tribute is … Kayn Lazuli. Come on up, Kayn!"
And I was wrong. This scenario has moved on from bad, skipped through terrible and landed on absolutely horrifying. Wrong twice in less than a day. I need to stop making predictions.
Why did he have to be picked? The only person who could have been anywhere near as bad would have been Calem.
He makes his way through the crowd slowly. I study him. He's big. Strong. He has short, chestnut brown hair and dark, brown eyes. A face which hardly ever smiles and a stance which hardly ever relaxes.
Kayn and I were best friends once. Mom even thought we would be childhood sweethearts. We both like a challenge and that's how our friendship started: both of us trying to win a race, in which we drew. We constantly challenged each other. He won in places of strength. I won in places of skill. Mostly, he beat me. He's my one exception to always being first.
We're still friends now but we're not as close as we used to be. His mom died when he was thirteen and he closed us all off. That's when I made friends with Gleam and the others. When he returned to normality, he became friends with us but he was secretive and silent. Now he hangs around with Lev who arrived three years ago.
I really don't want to kill him.
Kayn arrives on stage and nods to Duriem, his face unreadable.
"Congratulations, Kayn. But, before we can continue, again: does any boy wish to volunteer for District 1 in place of Kayn Lazuli?" I hope someone will and a few boys look like they're considering it. But no one does.
"Very well then. I give you the first male tribute of District 1: Kayn Lazuli." Once again, there are claps and cheers. Kayn looks at the crowd with his impassive face and shows no interest as Duriem shakes his hand. I wonder what he's thinking.
Mayor Sard begins to read out the Treaty of Treason. I know it's important and I do attempt to listen but it's so boring that I can't help but zone out, thinking.
I suppose everything has to start somewhere, including these Games. But why do I have to help them start? The idea of killing twenty-three other people just doesn't appeal to me. The idea of honour and glory? Sure. An easy life? Definitely! Having some brute shove a spear through my back? Not so tempting. Me shoving a spear through someone else? Better than the last scenario but still not much fun.
Still, I'm in it now, for better or worse. Short of the Capitol being destroyed in the worst disaster known to man, I don't think I'm getting out either. Maybe I should just go with the flow. I don't need to spend my last few weeks worrying.
"Tributes, shake hands," orders the Mayor. I try to look more like I knew this was coming and less like I was daydreaming.
I turn and face Kayn whose facial expression hasn't changed. I stretch out my hand just as he holds out his. I grasp it firmly, looking him in the eye. He winks, just like he always does when he knows I'm worried. I wink back, just like I always do to make sure he doesn't have the advantage. After a few shakes, we let go.
The anthem plays and we raise our heads in respect. I wonder what I look like on TV. I've always wanted to be on it. Then again, I think I'd swap it for being in the crowd with my friends right now.
"The tributes will be escorted to the Justice Building," says the Mayor. "Visitors will have one hour to say their goodbyes." He pauses and then, clearly only just remembering it, adds, "Happy Hunger Games!"
Happy for him. Not too great from where I am.
The Peacekeepers escort us into the building and tell us to go into separate rooms. I obey them. My room is quite big and very plush. A bit like Gleam's house –she's very rich – but it still feels weird for me to be there.
As I sit down, I catch sight of a mirror and see that I'm smiling as though this is exactly what I wanted. Thinking about it makes me realise how much my jaw aches from the continual smiling so I relax, massaging my jaw. I'm beginning to see why Kayn was so impassive.
My family arrive first, about five minutes later. The Peacekeepers tell me that my hour has begun.
As soon as the door is closed, Pearl runs over to me, eyes red from crying, and wraps her arms around my waist. I hug her back.
"Don't cry," I whisper.
"I'm not," she sniffles back and moves her arms away. I try to smile at her, ignoring my protesting muscles, but give up quickly. It's too painful.
My family look at me. If this was anything else, they'd be telling me off for my reaction. But it's not. I'm going away to some unknown place and I may never come back. This isn't the time to tell me off.
"Jewel, you need to get a weapon you can use," Dad says urgently. "Knives, a mace … whatever you've tried, use it."
"Don't eat anything you don't recognise," Mom adds. This will probably be the majority of food but neither of us mentions that.
"Don't fight," is Pearl's contribution. "Hide from everyone."
"I'll try," I say quietly.
This is wrong. It's too sombre. It's like I'm already dead..
"And remember: you promised to come home. So at least try!" says Dad.
I need to make this normal. If I die, I don't want my last family memory to be of us crying. And this order is just what I need.
"Damn," I say lightly. "And I was going to stand in the middle and say 'I give up. Kill me now'." I try to grin. "My plan's been foiled."
Pearl giggles. Mom snorts. Dad sighs but he's smiling. "Typical Jewel," he says.
"Yep. At least you know you got the right room."
"Your sense of humour will be the death of me," he grumbles and then realises what he's said.
"At least you'll die chuckling," I quip. No one laughs. I wasn't expecting them to.
"Try to concentrate in there."
"Sure. I'll quit drawing when I arrive."
I think they know I'm faking it.
"You're strong enough to fight," Mom says after a few seconds. "Just challenge them fairly."
"Except Kayn," I say.
"What?"
"He always beats me at wrestling and fighting. Best not to challenge him."
No one comments. We've known Kayn for years. The idea of us fighting isn't one that rests easily with them.
We talk for a few more minutes, with me trying to be as witty as I can, as funny as I can, as normal as I can. They try to act normal as well. If it wasn't for the desperateness in our faces and the fact they're letting me get away with being more stupid than usual, I would almost believe nothing bad was happening. Eventually, they say I'll have other visitors and they should go.
"OK," I say cheerfully. "Stay out of my room, Pearl."
She hugs me, tears trickling down her cheek. "I will," she sobs. I kiss her cheek.
"I'm joking," I whisper.
"I know," she replies.
Mom hugs me next. "Remember, we'll all be watching. We'll all be with you."
"Try not to distract me," I say and then whisper, "Thanks for sticking with me. I'll be home soon."
Finally, it's Dad's turn. He holds me close, almost too tight. "Good luck, Jewel."
"Thanks for not saying 'may the odds be ever in your favour'."
He smiles weakly. I think there are tears in his eyes.
"Look after everyone," I say.
He kisses my forehead. "I will. You … you be happy."
"I always am."
He lets go and they turn to leave.
"Wait!" I shout, desperate. This could be the last time I ever see them. It's only sunk in now. "I just … I just … I love you. I love you all."
"We love you too," Dad chokes out. "Always."
And then they're gone.
Calem, Ayla and Gleam come in next. For some reason, I ask them if they're going to visit Kayn as well. They assure me they will before silently sitting in front of me.
"So," I say to break the silence, "I guess you'll have to cope without me."
"Don't joke," Gleam pleads. "Not now."
"I wasn't joking."
She shifts nervously.
Ayla decides to interject. "Listen, Jewel. Just remember. You're from District 1 so you're Number One. You're better than they are. Just give them hell." Ayla's always been a bit bloodthirsty.
"Don't go crazy though," adds Calem.
"Eh?"
"If you lose your head, you'll d- lose. Keep it cool."
"And remember that trick for breaking fingers," says Ayla.
"Because that'll stop them," I mutter. Calem pokes my arm.
"Be nice."
"Sorry."
Suddenly Gleam pulls a ring off her finger and holds it out to me. I look at the ring and start. It's her favourite: a thin gold band with a small emerald. On the gold is writing in an old language which she says is called Latin. The ring has been in her family for generations and she won't let anyone touch it.
"Take it," she says, still holding the ring out.
I can't do that. Not her ring.
"You're allowed to have one thing to remind you of home. D'you have anything?" Numbly, I shake my head. "Then I want you to have this."
"But it's yours," I whisper.
"Consider it a loan."
Calem and Ayla are silent. They're just as shocked as I am. "You might not get it back," I say. "If I d-"
"Don't say it."
"But you-"
"It's a promise. You promise to get this ring back to me, OK?"
We all know what she means.
"I promise."
"Good." She hands me the ring and I hold it.
We sit in silence for a minute more. Eventually, I suggest that they go and visit Kayn. They nod and stand up. Gleam's eyes are watering.
"Oh, before you go, there's one thing I want you to know," I say. They look at me expectantly. "Calem, Ayla … will the pair of you hurry up and get together? It's driving me mad!"
They stare at me; they weren't expecting that. Ayla gulps out a laugh. "Don't be gone for too long and don't change. We need our District Idiot back in one piece." She kisses me on the cheek. "I'll miss you."
Calem hugs me. "When you come back, I'll be with her, alright?" he whispers. "Good luck in there."
Gleam takes the ring from my hand and slides it onto my finger. Any other time, I would joke that she's trying to marry me. But not now.
"You promised," she says. "And I'll keep an eye on these two for you." She pulls me into a tight hug. "You'll win."
"I'll try." I'm attempting not to cry. To cry would be to acknowledge that something horrible is happening and I can't do that. I force my features into a weak smile.
"Bye, Jewel."
I wave in reply. If I speak, I don't think any words will come out. Just pure sobbing.
I have a few more visitors: two girls who I sometimes speak to in school, an ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend (who has suddenly warmed up to me). They don't stay for long. They simply walk in, wish me luck and tell me they have every faith in me. Lev comes in, sits in silence and then pats me on the shoulder before leaving. I say 'Thank you' and wonder what that was all about.
When I have about ten minutes left, Kayn's father and older brother walk in. Kayn has a little sister as well but she's not here. This doesn't surprise me: she's never liked me and, frankly, I have no idea why Mr. Lazuli and Judak are here.
"Hi," I say carefully. Mr. Lazuli regards me silently. I've only ever heard him speak about five times. Luckily, Judak has always been a bit more talkative.
"Hey, Jewel," he says. He's lucky – he turned nineteen three days ago. He escaped by the skin of his teeth.
"Um …" I try to think of something to say. "I'm sorry I have to fight Kayn." It's the best I can come up with.
Judak waves this away. "It's not your fault. But that is what we want to speak to you about." He takes a breath, smiling uneasily. "If you win …we'll bear you no grudge. If someone else was to k- make him lose, then we'll be on your side."
"Thank you," I say quietly.
His uneasy smile is still on his face. I wonder if it's as hard to keep up as mine is. "But, if you two fight and you win fairly, we'll understand." His smile slips and he tries to fix it in place again but it doesn't work. "You want to win," he says softly. "So does Kayn. We understand. That's why … we just hope your family would be the same if … if the positions are reversed"
"I'm sure they would." I look Judak in his dark eyes for the first time. "Thank you."
He nods. "That's all we wanted to say." He hesitates and then says, "Good luck, Jewel."
"Good luck," echoes Mr. Lazuli, making me jump.
"Thank you," I say for the third time.
They leave without as much as a backward glance. I wonder how much courage it took them to tell me that.
About one minute after the Lazulis leave, the Peacekeepers fetch me out of my room. As we walk to the car which will take us to the station, I look around, trying to drink in the scenery. This could be my last time in District 1. I rub my eyes to stop myself from crying and force myself to think of something happy as I step into the car.
The car is fascinating. I've seen them before but I've never actually been in one and I'm wondering how it works. Beside me, Kayn is slightly less impassive as he inspects the vehicle. Thinking about the car takes my mind off my family. I wonder if it does the same for him.
We have to stand in the station for a few minutes while we wait for the train. Cameras are pointed at us and I see a TV screen with our images projected live. My smile is back so I look like this is all perfectly normal, like I do this all the time and it's my favourite hobby. Kayn looks completely bored. Then the image flips to our names being called but, before I can see it, the train arrives.
And I was impressed with the car!
The train is amazing. It goes at such a speed that I know we would be at the Capitol in half a day if we didn't have to pick up the other tributes first. Kayn and I are allotted rooms which are even fancier than Gleam's house. Duriem tells me that I can do whatever I like but I should be ready for lunch in two-and-a-half hours. The drawers are filled with beautiful clothes. Only one of my dresses could be worth as much as these and that dress is a fancy hand-me-down.
I take a shower and spend the rest of the time hunting around the compartment, drawing and trying not to think about my friends and family. As it is, about an hour into the journey, I look out of the window and realise we are far away from District 1. Unexpectedly, tears form in my eyes and I feel glad that there are no cameras in this room. These are the tears I wanted to cry earlier.
I force myself to cheer up by imagining myself returning home, victorious. Everyone cheering as I walk off the train. The amount of money I suddenly possess. A cute boy who walks up to me and says he was worried about me the whole time and would I like to go out with him. Somehow, the details of the actual Games don't really come into any of these scenarios.
When I arrive for lunch, Liss and Kimre are already there. Kayn walks in just after I do. Duriem appears a minute later.
The food is … beautiful. There's no other way to describe it. I've never gone hungry before and our food at home has occasionally been 'luxurious', when Dad has saved up enough money to buy us a treat, but there's so much of it, all at once. I eat as much as I can without looking like a pig. Kayn – whose family is worse off than mine, especially after his mother's death – does the same but with less success. The three adults are a lot better at restraining themselves. They're probably used to it.
Once we've finished eating, the adults look at each other.
"Well, Jewel, Kayn, it's nice to meet you. I'm Kimre. This is Liss." The round-faced man smiles pleasantly. Liss merely nods; her grey eyes are cold. She looks like she doesn't want to be here. "First things first, do you know about the Games?"
"I think I noti-" I cut myself off. I really should be polite. "I think so." Beside me, Kayn nods.
"What do you know then?" Kimre asks. I glance at Kayn. He has his mouth closed firmly so it looks like the talking is going to be done by me. I explain the basic concept of the Games and a few of the things I knew about it, like how we're on television all the time.
In return, he explains a few extra things. Yes we're in an outdoor arena but the Gamemakers will be able to control our climate. We get trained (that's a relief anyway) and we have to try and get people to 'sponsor' us by attracting them in the Opening Ceremony, a training score (training seems less of a relief to me now) and an interview. My heart sinks at the mention of each new thing. This is a lot more complicated than I thought.
"Now, our other question is, how do you two want to be trained? We can do it together or I can take one of you and Liss can take the other."
"Separately," Kayn says, speaking for the first time. He even grins albeit slightly savagely. "I want to make sure I can beat Jewel." His eyes light up at the thought of a challenge.
I grin back, determined not to be outdone. "But what if we're in the arena and all the other tributes go after you and I run away? How will you know you're better than me?"
He frowns. "Why are they chasing me?" A lot of people can't believe that Kayn ever talks but I've never found it hard to draw him into conversation. Although, a lot of our conversations are competitive.
"I don't know. Maybe they don't like your name."
"What's wrong with my name?" He tries to make this sound menacing but it isn't working. I laugh at the attempt.
"I don't know. They don't like names with four letters? Or, I know, they'll go after the big person. That's you. Happy?"
"But why all of them?" He's laughing a bit as well. I try to answer but I'm giggling too much. I think it might be hysteria from the day's events more than anything else.
"OK," he agrees. "Together. Just to prove I can win."
"Never happen," I manage to gasp out. It feels like we're at home: like we're twelve-years-old again and having a mock debate.
Liss' voice stops us. It's cold and serious. "You are friends." It isn't a question but we nod anyway. "Good friends?"
"Fairly," says Kayn.
"We were best friends once," I supply helpfully.
Kimre trades a worried look with Liss and Duriem. "This is bad," he mutters. "Very bad." He looks at us. I've stopped smiling now. "It's decided. You train separately. You can't go into the arena as friends."
"But-" I begin.
"No, Jewel. Only one of you two can come home. The less close you are, the easier it will be to accept it. And if the Gamemakers see that you're friends, they might worry about what will happen if you have to fight each other." Kimre locks his blue eyes with mine. "If that means arranging for one of you to die then I'm sure they will. They can change the climate to send people your way. They could probably arrange something like an avalanche to kill you. Don't underestimate the Games. This is television. They need drama but they need a winner who will prove that the Games are right. Not two winners. One." A pause. "Pick one of those reasons – I don't care which one – and remember it."
Being friends will kill us. Not being friends will kill us, just not as definitely.
"I get it."
Kimre nods and then makes a snap decision: he will teach Kayn and Liss will teach me. The woman stands up and leaves the compartment. I follow silently. I want to trade a glance with Kayn but I stop myself at the last moment.
She's standing outside the next compartment and gestures for me to walk in there. I do so, feeling increasingly nervous. It occurs to me that this woman scares me.
She's very much to the point: she asks me whether I can use weapons as soon as I've sat down. I attempt to be as direct as she is as I tell her I can use knives, maces and I know a few punches. My confidence boosts as she tells me that will put me above the others.
Then she somehow manages to ask me about all the things I can't do: I can't aim, I can't hunt or set traps and I have no idea which herbs and berries are poisonous. I consider saying that a lot of these skills have no use in District 1 but something tells me that this really isn't a good idea.
My confidence goes back down again as her only judgement on my skills after this is: 'you should learn at the Training Centre'. Before I can tell her that I had actually worked this out for myself, she asks me about Kayn. I force myself not to start telling her about his life and stick to explaining how strong he is and that he can use a sword.
She finishes by considering me. "You should look decent when the stylists are done." She pauses. "OK, be ready for dinner at five. Now go away." Her mouth twitches and I realise that she's smiling.
I thank her and flee. Her smile is scarier than her cold eyes.
Kayn arrives by our compartments at the same time I do.
"Liss scares me," I mutter without thinking. He says nothing. "You're lucky you got Kimre."
"Jewel, we're not supposed to talk," he murmurs.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot." I blush and turn to my door, wondering how I could have forgotten our orders already.
"Why aren't I surprised?" he says. "Getting you to stop talking is like asking the Capitol to revive District 13."
"Says the boy who won't shut up," I point out, turning back to look at him.
"See!"
"And you were so quiet earlier," I muse. "Why are you talking now?"
He shrugs. "Had nothing to say earlier." This is probably the story of his life.
"And now?"
"I'm just telling you, we're not meant to be talking to each other!"
"But. You. Keep. Talking." I say as though speaking to an idiot.
He copies my tone. "So. Do. You." He smiles.
I laugh and then stop abruptly. "We're doing it again. Being friends."
He forces his face back into impassive. "Yes."
I sigh. "I guess it's for our own good though."
He nods. "Yes." One word answers are clearly the order of the day now.
I look around the corridor, wondering how to finish this. "I wish we didn't have to though."
His features soften slightly. "Same."
I turn back to my door. "I guess we're not friends from now on. Agreed?"
"Agreed." He sticks his hand out and I'm about to ask him what on earth he's doing but it occurs to me that I should just go with the flow. I shake the outstretched hand.
"Good luck, tribute," he says gruffly.
I can't resist replying with, "And may the odds be ever in your favour," in an exact imitation of Duriem. I see a ghost of a smile flicker on his face and then he turns and heads into his compartment. I walk back into mine.
There. I've done it. I've cut off the friendship of my oldest friend. It's funny: I once thought nothing would ever stop us from being friends.
Apparently, though, the Hunger Games can.
