Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This chapter is from the perspective of Keron. Remember when this was a romance story? Yeah...I don't. Because this chapter is primarily humor.

Everybody's human btw. The keronians aren't frogs, they're human in this au.


"Are you listening to me?! Stop playing with toys and get off your lazy bum!" Giroro crossed his arms and looked down at what was supposed to be his country's pride and joy- the crown prince Keroro.

Keroro scratched his butt. "These aren't toys. Their democracy." He looked up at Giroro, holding some toy action figures.

Giroro's eye twitched. "I don't think you even know what that word means...I don't even know what you're saying." He tried not to lose his temper, "And I don't care what they are! You're supposed to be sitting at the table listening to my report of what was going on on the front lines!"

Keroro sighed, "You got your butt kicked, didn't you? I mean it's the same every time. 'We're still in a stand still but I promise we'll win next week'" Keroro tried to mimic Giroro's voice, badly.

Giroro growled and clenched his fists. He could not punch the crown prince, no matter how much he wanted too. He was supposed to be Keroro's royal guard for goodness sake! To protect and listen to him above all else. That was his job. But half the time he just wanted to pummel the moron.

Giroro tried to get his cool- a hard task for Giroro. "Listen, you have to listen to the battle report. It's your job to know what's going on in the kingdom and to offer ideas. It's part of your training to someday rule."

"Where's Tamama? He's much more fun to listen to. He'd probably care as little about this news as me, and then we could just do cooler things than boring work." Keroro pouted that Tamama wasn't there. He'd much prefer to listen to Tamama over Giroro.

"Keroro." Giroro stared down at the prince that was dressed in impressive green garbs, ruined by the dorky star headband holding his hair up. "You are the crown prince of Keron, the most terrifying kingdom on the planet. We've conquered more countries than we can count, destroyed them or made them our slaves. We're the toughest, most bloodthirsty, most amazing kingdom on the planet. And someday you'll rule it all." Giroro reminded him, "You have to be something that the kingdom can be proud of." Giroro waved his hand in Keroro's direction. "Not this."

"What do you mean 'not this?" Keroro narrowed his eyes. He might have been the crown prince, but Giroro didn't usually give him respect. He was his best friend, pretty much raised with him to protect him. He knew that raising his voice wouldn't get him killed.

"Not a lazy idiot." Giroro told him, "You have to be respectable."

"I am respectable!" Keroro pouted, standing up straight. Despite how he puffed up, he still wasn't as tall as Giroro who was at least a foot taller than him, causing Keroro to have to jump up to meet his eyes, almost pathetically bouncing up and down to look taller.

"With your current actions you aren't. The biggest shame and secret of the kingdom of Keron, the kingdom feared by all, is that our crown prince is incompetent. The other kingdoms haven't caught on yet and they won't if you change. So hurry up and become a leader to be proud of!" Giroro didn't offer words of encouragement, but he did offer hope for Keroro's conditions.

"I'm not a shame or a secret! I'm an adventure." Keroro posed, "I am a treasure. And I am the greatest leader around!"

"At least you have the ego that a keronian citizen should. If only you had some actions to back it up." Giroro sighed.

"I am cool! Shut up, Giroro!" Keroro yelled. "At least I'm a lot more successful than you, Mr. Still hasn't invaded Terran."

Giroro's face turned red at the accusation. It wasn't even his job! His brother might have been hoping that he'd be the next general of Keron's army, like he was and was training him, but he was primarily a royal guard.

Not that he didn't have ambitions of course, but Terran still wasn't successful invaded.

The accusation set Giroro off and he started yelling at Keroro, like normal. Only for Keroro to retort with equal anger as they verbally sparred and yelled like children.

"Somebody called for me? I might be a little late but every time Mr. Prince asks for me, I am here!" Just as Keroro and Giroro were about to start slapping each other like children, Tamama popped up between them.

"Tamama!" Keroro jumped back, looking around. How did he get here?

Giroro was also surprised. Tamama wasn't supposed to be here for a battle report. Was he just always waiting for Keroro to ask where he was?

"You know, Mr. Prince, whenever you want me, I can be here." Tamama smoothly leaned next to Keroro, taking a rather flirtatious voice that only Keroro didn't pick up on. "I can do whatever you need me to do~." He snuggled his head next to Keroro's chest.

"Tamama! I'm so glad you're here! Giroro's being so boring and you're so much more fun!" Keroro looked joyful to have someone shorter than even him in the room. He swung his arms around Tamama in a hug.

"I am fun!" Tamama smiled. "And you know we can have as much fun as you want-~"

Knowing where this was going Giroro lightly punched Tamama and Keroro on the heads, not enough to injure Keroro but enough to let him know he was angry. "Okay idiots. Stop doing whatever you're doing. No more fun and games."

"Help me from corporal boring." Keroro whispered. Tamama giggled.

Giroro glared. He could hear them. "Stop acting like children! I was lecturing!" He tried to draw attention back to him.

"You know, Giroro, most royal guards are supposed to listen to whatever their master says. Be their constant support no matter what. Not lecture them." Keroro pointed out.

"Well, I'm different. I take my job seriously. Unlike you." Giroro growled, "And I AM your royal guard. I do support you. I want you to be something great. I am the crown prince's royal guard and I wish I could be proud of that job, but with the way you're acting it's hard."

"You and your pride." Keroro scoffed and teased. Giroro glared. A warrior's pride was important!

"I want to help you. I want you to bring greatness to this kingdom." Giroro tried the support option, perhaps Keroro reacted better from people offering help. "I got it! I got the way you can better yourself!"

"There's a way to do that?" Tamama asked wide eyed.

"Aww, yeah. I'm already the best aren't I?" Keroro rubbed the back of his head blushing.

"No, I meant there's a way to make him not lazy?" Tamama looked shocked.

Keroro stopped blushing and instead frowned. He mumbled to himself and grumbled about Tamama's comment.

"I'll tutor you!" Giroro declared. "I'll teach you how to be the gem that Keron needs. The treasure you were meant to be."

"Lucky you, lots of work." Tamama teased Keroro.

"But...But..." Keroro stuttered at that suggestion, "You're dumb!" Keroro finally managed to choke out. "How could you teach me anything? You're the dumbest person I know!"

Screw not punching the crown prince. Giroro decided. I'm his royal guard. So I know what he can and can't take. Giroro flew into a rage at the comment about how dumb he was, causing him to chase a fleeing Keroro around the room. "COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOT!"

"Eek!" Keroro screamed.

Tamama laughed as they ran around, "I bet those pekoponians," Tamama used the word that the keronians used to refer to the people from Terran, "Never would guess that the crown prince's royal guard always argues with him and neither of them are professional."

Giroro growled at that completely correct comment, turning his gaze to Tamama. "Don't insult me or my job. And act more professional. Don't laugh at this matter. After all, aren't you a royal guard too? You guard a royal of Keron, just like me." Giroro reminded.

Tamama looked confused for a moment, like he had honestly forgotten he was a royal guard. "She's not dead yet?"

Keroro's eyes widened. "Um...Tamama? You've been doing your job, right?"

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" Tamama pointed out, "I'm over with you. Not with that...That woman!"

"So basically you're slacking off." Giroro deducted. Giroro sighed. Tamama was the worst royal guard he knew. Sometimes he even felt like Tamama wanted his royal dead.

Keroro tried not to look to awkward about the internal problems of the royal guard. "So...Giroro, how are the people of Pekopon-"

"Terran." Giroro corrected.

"Whatever." Keroro scoffed, "How are the people of Pekopon doing? Are they dead?"

Giroro's eyes shined a bit. Keroro was actually expressing interest and asking a question about the battle?

Giroro smiled, finally ready to give his report.

"I mean I expect they aren't dead, since you look pretty badly cut up." Keroro observed. It looked like Giroro had gotten his butt kicked, he was actually looking in pretty bad shape.

"The battle is doing well. Provisions readily go to the front lines." Giroro tried to be professional, not answering about the people of Pekopon. "However, we are still at a stand-still."

"Knew it. It's always the same." Keroro sighed.

"I haven't beaten the warrior princess yet, unfortunately." Giroro looked saddened.

Keroro and Tamama both burst out laughing.

"What?" Giroro asked.

"You called her a warrior princess. Seriously?" Tamama laughed, "I didn't know you had pet names for the enemy."

"No! It's not like that! You pink haired girl known as Natsumi is one of the princesses of Terran, and she's a warrior, so she's a warrior princess. Makes sense, right? It's her title." Giroro defended, holding his ground.

Keroro scoffed, "You aren't fooling anyone. We've been best friends since childhood, right?"

"Yeah...So?" Giroro asked.

"I know where you store your diary." Keroro grinned, pulling out said dairy from his pocket.

Giroro's face turned a mixture of pink and red from his sheer anger.

"Ooh! Ooh! Read some to me!" Tamama begged, being Keroro's classic partner in crime.

Giroro tried to chase Keroro down and snag the diary out of his hands, but Keroro evaded, opening it. "So you aren't fooling me. You've got a big crush on your rival, Natsumi. Like a huge crush. For example, look at all this angsty emo poetry..."

"No! Not the poetry!" Giroro begged covering his face.

Keroro flipped some pages, giggling. "Natsumi, my love." Keroro deepened his voice, mocking Giroro, "We are worlds apart. So tragic, yeah, yeah. Our love will never work out, but still I can't bear not having you in my heart. Our love will only end tragically though. We're the most tragic and romantic couple in history."

Tamama burst out laughing.

Giroro covered his face. He wasn't the best poet, that was true. But Keroro didn't have to mock him!

"It's all so emo and angsty. Geez! Have you even tried to romance this girl, or are you just trying for the most angsty romance of the year?" Keroro asked.

Giroro glared coldly. "Keron won't have a crown prince problem after you're dead." He flew into another rage, summoning weapons into the air. Giroro had mixed a strange style of magic with his weaponry and how he was a fighter, so that he could summon weapons at will. Summoning magic and fighting.

"EEP!" Keroro dropped the diary on the ground. Giroro was going to blast him to smithereens! Keroro grabbed Tamama's hand. "Let's flee!"

"Um...You're holding my hand-" Tamama realized.

"Let's run!" Keroro dragged Tamama away before they were both blown up.

"KERORO! COME BACK!" Giroro yelled after him as Keroro ran with Tamama by his side.

"Don't worry Giroro! I think your crush is pretty cute!" Keroro called after him trying to lessen his rage.

Tamama was just in a daze since he was holding Keroro's hand.


Keroro and Tamama ran from an angry Giroro all throughout the castle, even passing Keroro's Mom and Dad.

"Hi Mom and Dad! Love ya!" Keroro yelled rushing past.

"AUGH! I'm going to get you Keroro!" Giroro yelled, his weapons following behind him.

"Aww...How cute, just like they were when they were children." Keroro's mom smiled, "And its good to see Keroro doing things and moving around."

Keroro's father sighed. "I wish he would grow up. He's twenty four. It's about time for him to stop acting like he was when he was a child. He needs to stop playing around. We're a respectable kingdom. He needs to grow into his role."

"Give him some time. You know he was never the same since the last attempt to get him to be as bloodthirsty and controlling as our kingdom desires." Keroro's mom defended.

"You can't keep making excuses for him. He was ten when that happened. He should be over it by now." Keroro's father told him.

"Well what about when our last project died? You know he was quite shaken from that. And that was only four years ago." Keroro's mother pointed out. "He saw him as a brother..."

"I don't care. He should be over it by now." Keroro's father huffed.


Keroro and Tamama eventually got out of the castle, fleeing into the town. The streets were busy and despite Keroro being the crown prince not many people paid attention to him, very used to Keroro wandering around on his own in the market squares and in the nearest circles around the castle.

Keroro continued to clutch Tamama's hand tightly. "Do you think we lost him?" Keroro asked.

"I don't know." Tamama shook his head, "And you know...Now that your royal guard wants to kill you, you could replace him. I could always be your royal guard." Tamama looked up at Keroro, "I'll always protect you after all. That's what I trained for." Tamama promised.

"Thanks. But Giroro will cool off eventually." Keroro smiled.

There was faint yelling in the distance. Giroro's yelling.
"Of course he might not cool down anytime soon." Keroro paled. "Come on!" He pulled at Tamama's hand.

They needed to continue running.


The streets were bustling and busy, crowds everywhere. And as Keroro tried to side-step person after person, running into a few, pulling Tamama behind him, the tightness of how he was holding Tamama's hand eventually failed him.

It was a large crowd as Tamama's fingers loosened around his and their hands were pulled apart. Keroro looked behind him as the crowd swallowed Tamama up.

"Tamama?" Keroro yelled as the crowd pushed him farther and farther away from where he had lost Tamama. "Tamama!" He yelled again. But nothing could be heard over the people's chattering.

Keroro had lost Tamama.

He turned away from the crowd, trying to look towards the solid open ground he could find. Maybe he needed to just keep moving on. Tamama would be found eventually.


He wasn't worried about losing Tamama. Tamama could handle himself, Keroro knew that. But he had ran so far that he was quite far away from the castle and although the streets were much less bustling and darker, flowers growing various places, Keroro was unfamiliar where he was.

He had never been in whatever part of the capital he had wandered into.

I'm not worried about Tamama. But I am worried about me. Where am I? Keroro wondered. He was lost.

He finally spotted a sign as he walked through the nicely lit, but rather empty streets.

"Pleasure district." He read aloud. His face paled and turned pink. "Wait...This is where prostitutes are, aren't they?" His eyes darted to side to side. Nobody had seen him here, right? This really was just an honest mistake! He was lost.

He rushed back across the streets, hoping that was where he had come from, but already panicking and lost. Unaware, he went deeper into the district.

Eventually he ran into someone walking on the streets.

"Eep! Sorry!" Keroro apologized.

"You lost? Hmm...You look pretty scared. What a pathetic thing." The voice of the purple haired man with glasses in front of Keroro was teasing, but the man's smile was wide and wicked.

Keroro paled. This...This is one of them isn't it? One of the prostitutes?

"I can probably direct you to the correct employee if you want. For a price. Ku, ku, ku." The man laughed.

Keroro shook his head frantically.

"Ku. Hilarious. You look exactly like him." The man spoke mostly to himself.

"Um..Mister...I'm not interested in whatever you're offering. I mean I know you're a prostitute and all-"

"KU! KU! KU! You think I'm a prostitute? That's a riot." The man laughed, "This must be your first time here, huh?"

Keroro nodded, "But I'm not here cuz I want to be!" He assured.

"This is the pleasure district. But other pleasures happen here besides the sexual kind. Although most people outside of this neighbored do know it for that reason. But no, although I live here, I'm not a prostitute. I'm a witch doctor." The man explained. "People pay me extremely well for healing. Ku. Do you need some healing?" he looked Keroro up and down.

"No..." Keroro mumbled.

"I could change that~." The tone was teasing, but the words were threatening.

"Don't speak to me like that! I'm the crown prince of Keron!" Keroro defended, "I'm just a little lost, and I wound up here by mistake-"

"I know." The man pushed up his glasses, "Not everybody is as ignorant about the world as you, Keroro. Anyone would recognize you."

Keroro paled. Everybody would know his name too. He was at a disadvantage of information. This man could kidnap him and ransom him since he knew a lot about Keroro and Keroro knew barely anything.

"Now...I wonder how many people know that you're here...Maybe we should keep it that way." The man's glasses glinted as if he inched closer to Keroro as if he was planning to do serious harm to him.

Keroro gulped, it didn't look like the man liked him very much. He was surprised. He would have assumed everybody liked the crown prince.

The purple haired guy put his hand on Keroro's shoulder as if he was about to drag him off.

"Leave him alone!" Giroro, finally catching up to Keroro, charged in to defend Keroro. He knew who was a threat and who wasn't, and this man looked like a threat. Three guns circled Giroro in the air, ready to go off and shoot the guy.

"Tch. I wasn't going to do anything to him. Maybe just borrow a few limbs for an experiment." The man shrugged.

Giroro glared and pushed the purple haired guy away from Keroro.

"Giroro! You came to save me!" Keroro cried.

"Of course I did. I may be mad, but I've still sworn to protect you. This place could be dangerous, let's get you out of here." Giroro told him.

Keroro looked frightened from being there and reached over to Giroro as if waiting for Giroro to pick him up and carry him bridal style away.

"No. You're walking." Giroro told him.

"But I'm a prince! Prince's should be carried off in style!" Keroro complained.

"I'll carry you!" Tamama volunteered, standing by Giroro's side. Giroro had found him on his way to Keroro.

"Stop it. Let's get out of here." Giroro demanded. "We don't want the crown prince to stay in here too long. People could try picking him up."

"But that's what I want. To be carried." Keroro frowned, unaware Giroro meant flirt with and picked up for a job.

"Yeah! If anybody hits on the Crown Prince, they'll be blown into smithereens by me" Tamama vowed, giggling putting his hands behind his back innocently.

Giroro growled. "You aren't even his royal guard."

Tamama narrowed his eyes, looking Giroro up and down as if eyeing his job. "Not yet..." He whispered.

The three walked off together. Keroro complaining about all that he went through and Giroro scolding him and Tamama suggesting that they should hold hands again.

The purple haired man was left alone. He looked up to a rooftop.

"Dororo, why didn't you jump down here and talk to your old friend?" He asked. "I could have brought him to you, aren't you low on clients today?"

"You know I'm not a 'normal' prostitute, right? My clients are the people marked for assassination." The pink haired man on the rooftop with a mask jumped down, sheathing his sword. "Anyway, he and I live in different worlds now. And I have no wish to see Keroro again, Kululu. That's why." Dororo explained.

"Ku. Bitter aren't you? Still, you could have said hi or sworn some sort of cryptic revenge and he could have been like 'who were you again?' and then you'd cry." Kululu teased.

Dororo glared. "Keroro is dead to me. The part of me that was his friend is gone. I do not want to talk to him."

"Makes sense." Kululu shrugged, "He didn't seem like the best kind of guy. Pretty pathetic for our crown prince."


Description of characters mentioned this chapter.

Natsumi-General of Terran, princess of Terran.

Keroro-Crown Prince of Keron. Age: 24

Keroro's Mom and Dad- King and Queen of Keron.

Giroro-Keroro's royal guard. Age: 24

Tamama- A royal guard in the castle. But not Keroro's. Age: 18

Kululu: A witch doctor. Age: 19

Dororo: Prostitute/undercover assassin. Age: 24

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