CHAPTER 2 – SECRET

Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters

Warnings: dark/angsty/gore. A story I wrote for the sake of my inner demons.

"The shade is a tool, a device, a savior

Cloud come, shove the sun aside" – Deftones, My own summer

"Up! Up!" Jaucher shouted in the usual shrieking voice that grazed on everyone's brain each morning.

Friedrich jumped from his sleep, terrified, cursing himself inwardly and expecting the worst. But he was alone in his bed. With a quick glance he discovered that Albrecht's bed was empty and the covers properly arranged. He hopped down, rather confused.

"You ok?" Christoph asked him, still half asleep himself.

"Yes. Do you have any idea where Albrecht is?"

"I think he went out for a morning walk before breakfast" Christoph answered with a large yawn.

"A morning walk?" Friedrich stared out in disbelief. Outside, the blizzard whipped mercilessly against the bedroom windows and the view was nothing but a white blur.

Christoph shrugged reaching for his jacket. Friedrich dressed hurriedly and headed to the dining hall. There he found Albrecht, sitting in a remote corner. Instead of his usual light breakfast, there was a bloody steak in his plate, and he was eating with great appetite.

"Good morning!" He greeted Friedrich with a light smile.

Friedrich sat next to him, observant. "Good morning indeed! Look, I'm sorry I overslept, if Jaucher-"

"It's ok" Albrecht said with the same smile.

"So what's with the morning walk and the gore dish?" Friedrich asked curious.

"The walk was invigorating and I'm having a manly breakfast" Albrecht explained calmly, biting his lower lip in his usual way.

Friedrich raised an eyebrow. "Manly breakfast? Does your father possess you this morning or what?"

Albrecht laughed softly.

"No. It's a fine day and I was hungry" He paused to pop another piece of almost raw meat into his mouth. "And that ruffian could never possess my spirit" he added, not bothering to lower his voice.

Friedrich winced and stared around anxious, but nobody seemed to have heard.

"Albrecht! You cannot talk like that about your father!"

"Why not? It's true. When he was my age he was already working for three years. What do you think he was working?"

Friedrich instantly suspected that this was yet another thing he'd rather not know. "What was he working?"

"Officially he was working in a factory; unofficially he was in the debt recovery business. He bullied widows and old people to make them pay their debts to money lenders"

Albrecht stuck his fork into the meat decisively.

"Who told you that?"

"One of his drunken friends, at a party. Everybody knew, but me. My mother was by my side and she didn't even seem surprised"

Friedrich had not expected something like that and was at a loss for words. His friend's unexpected shift made him uneasy. For a moment he had the bizzare feeling that someone else was sat next to him at the table. Suddenly he could no longer touch his own breakfast. Albrecht however continued his impassible.

"But that's not what you said last night! You said that you've always loved him. How does that go with what you just said?"

"It goes just fine I suppose. First comes the love, then the pain, and then the bitterness."

Albrecht pressed the napkin against his lips and stood to leave.

"And what comes after bitterness?" Friedrich asked staring down at his still half full plate, avoiding to meet his gaze.

"I don't know..."

-x-

In the evening, after classes, Albrecht disappeared again, without a word. After looking for him everywhere, Friedrich ended up in the small newspaper office. Sighing and feeling strangely worn out, he removed his jacket and settled in a chair, examining the disordered pile of papers on the desk. It was so unlike Albrecht to neglect his work, he thought, pulling a half-written page from the typewriter. For a while he delved into the lecture of the unfinished article, as he waited. Eventually it bored him and he placed it carefully on the table. He walked to the window and opened it largely, leaning on the sill. Outside, the storm had faded to some extent, but it was still snowing and the air was freezing cold. Friedrich inhaled deeply, with his gaze lost in the darkness. The moon cast a pale, silvery light on the dark pine trees, suddenly reminding him of his nightmare. He hurried to close the window and to return to the safe familiarity of the small room. Just then the door opened and Albrecht walked in.

"Let me guess, you were in here all the time" Friedrich had started to say, but upon observing Albrecht he stopped abruptly.

Albrecht's coat was tousled and covered with snow mixed with pine tree needles. His hair was disheveled and damp and his face white as paper. He blinked a few times, apparently surprised by the bright light.

"Have you been in the woods again?" Friedrich questioned, crossing his arms.

His friend nodded slowly.

"What stupidity!" Friedrich jumped. "What were you thinking? There was a blizzard last night and all day today. That girl, whoever she was, well she's… gone, and there's nothing you could do for her, even if you did find her…"

Albrecht bit his lip in his usual way, but said nothing.

"You didn't… find her, did you?"

"No, she… I only found a piece of cloth from her dress hanging in the barbed wire at the northern fence but the snow covered all trails. All I can hope is that she passed over to the other side and went as far from the school as possible…"

Friedrich had a vague but persistent feeling in his gut that Albrecht was lying, but decided to ignore it. He nodded, sighing. Just then he noticed that Albrecht's left wrist was bandaged with a rag.

"What happened to your hand?"

Albrecht stared down at his hand as if he'd forgotten all about it.

"I tripped and fell down there, near the fence, and cut myself in the wire. It's nothing…"

Albrecht took off his coat, passed a hand through his hair and pulled the sleeve down over his injured wrist. He sat on his chair in front of the typewriter and grimaced.

"I was worried about you" Friedrich said gently. "Are you ok?"

"I don't feel like writing tonight… I'm tired. And cold" He hugged himself, rubbing his upper arms.

"It's pretty warm in here, you'll feel better. Don't you want to finish your article?" Friedrich asked handing him the half-written paper he'd read earlier. "I read it and I think it's really good"

Albrecht reached for the sheet slowly and held it with two fingers for a moment, before tossing it casually on top of the pile.

"You read it and you think it's boring" he said calmly. His piercing gaze startled Friedrich.

"No, I don't think it's boring. It's about the Winter Festivities and… um…"

"And the Winter Festivities are boring. The music is boring, the speeches are boring, and everybody hopes that the at least the food will be good"

"No, I don't think that… Ok. Ok, it's boring. But it's the subject, not the… wording" Friedrich admitted.

"Maybe you could finish it for me? It has to be done but I can't"

"What? You know I don't write-"

"I can't write this anymore. It makes me feel suffocated"

Albrecht stood up from his desk and walked to the window.

"Have you ever thought what it would be like to be out there?" he said glancing outside, towards the dark woods. "Free? To run free?"

Friedrich winced, terror gripping him again for some unknown reason. "Free? No. It's scary out there, dark and cold. And you're scaring me"

"Why?"

"I don't know, you're being weird. You were weird last night and you've been even weirder today"

Albrecht turned to look at him and there was an odd gleam in his eyes. Something foreign and frightening. But the bizarre expression only lasted for a brief moment before turning into sadness.

"I'm sorry, Friedrich. I'm just having a hard time dealing with what's going on. I don't know what to do and how to be anymore" he almost whispered.

Friedrich shifted his weight from one leg to another and stuffed his hands in his pockets feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm still cold. I'm going to bed" Albrecht said and headed to the door.

This chapter wasn't very long, I know…. Love or hate, I like both :))