Pilot

It's currently the middle of the night and everyone within the Smith's residence is fast asleep, well all except for one which will soon turn into three.

Fourteen year old Myra Smith was asleep in her bed when her Grandfather Rick burst through her bedroom door, dragging behind him her twin brother Morty.

"What the hell?" Myra said, sitting up in her bed rubbing her eyes.

"I've got a *burp* big surprise for Morty, and *burp* I want you to see Myra." Rick said, clearly drunk.

Myra knowing that Rick was going to drag Morty into something stupid she gets out of bed. "Man. *sigh* I'm coming." Myra said, sliding out of bed.

Myra pushes the two out of her bed room, "Let me get dressed. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Myra throws on her clothes and follows her grandpa out to the garage where his space cruiser is.

The three pile into the cruiser, Morty be more shoved into the cruiser, and Rick took off.

Myra too tired to care about anything just lays down in the backseat and props her legs up against the window.

"What do you think of this flying vehicle, Morty, Myra? I built it out of stuff I found in the garage." Rick said

"Cool Rick." Myra said, tiredly from the backseat not actually caring.

"Yeah, Rick, it's great. Is this the surprise?" Morty asked

"Morty, I had to I had *burp* to I had to I had *burp* to make a bomb, you guys. I had to create a bomb." Rick said

"What?! A bomb?!" Morty screams

"Whatever." Myra said, no tone of worry in her voice.

"We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, you two. Create a whole fresh start." Rick explained

"T-t-that's absolutely crazy!" Morty screamed, continuing to freak out.

"The human society still needs time to develop to further their lesser intelligence. It'll take a couple of generations but they'll figure it out somehow, but they won't figure it out if you blow everything up Rick." Myra drones from the back half asleep.

"Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. Like Myra look how easy she takes it. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica." Rick said

Morty is surprised to hear his crush's name, "Jessica? From my math class?"

"When I drop the bomb you know, I want *burp* you to have somebody, you know I want you to have *burp* the thing I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam." Rick explained

"And what am I Adam's wing man?" Myra said

Her sarcastic question goes unanswered.

"Whoa." Morty said, thinking about him and Jessica.

"And Jessica's gonna be Eve." Rick said

"Whhhh-wha?" Morty said, confused.

"And so that's the surprise, Morty." Rick said

Morty returns to his freakout mode, "No, you can't! Jessica doesn't even know I exist but but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity."

"I-I get what *burp* you're trying to say, Morty. *burp* Listen, I'm not you don't you don't got to worry about me trying to fool around *burp* with with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. I'm I'm not that kind of guy, Morty." Rick said

"What are you talking about, Rick?" Morty asked, placing his hands on his head.

"You you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. She she *burp* she she she's all for you, Morty." Rick said

"I don't care about Jessica!" Morty said

"You know what, Morty? You're right. Let's forget the girl all together. She she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways." Rick said

Rick reaches down and presses a button on the panel in front of him.

"Arming neutrino bomb." A female robotic voice said

"That's it that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel." Morty said

Morty reaches over Rick and pulls at the wheel trying to take control of the cruiser.

"Get off of me, Morty!" Rick said, pushing Morty off the wheel.

Morty attempts to grab at the wheel again and continues to fight against Rick.

"I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy. What's gotten into you? I'm I'm I'm I'm not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb person and just let you blow up the whole world." Morty said

"All right, all right. I'll I'll land. I'll land. I'll land. I'll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden." Rick said

Rick deactivates the neutrino bomb and starts to take the cruiser down and lands it in the desert.

"We'll park it right here. Right here on the side of the road here." Rick said

"Oh, thank God." Morty said

Rick opens the door the cruiser and falls out along with dozens of beer bottles. "You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive."

Morty pokes his head outside the door "It was?"

"Sure. Why not? I don't know. You you know what, mo-" Rick passes out halfway through his sentence clearly from all the alcohol.

"Neutrino bomb armed." The female robotic voice said

"Um …" Morty said, not sure what to do.

"Move over Morty," Myra gets up from the back seat and sits at the control panel.

Timeskip

It's now morning and the Smith family have gathered around the table for breakfast.

Myra tired from last night has her head propped up in her hands.

"I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?" Jerry said

Morty tries to listen to his father talk but is too tired and ends up falling asleep into his breakfast.

"Oh, my God, his head is in his food. I'm going to puke." Summer said, texting.

Beth picks up Morty's head from his breakfast, "Morty, are you getting sick? I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow. The dog sleeps on it."

"I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom," Morty pushes around the food on his plate, "I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something." Morty said, with tired look on his face.

"Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick and Myra." Summer said, slyly.

Hearing this Jerry gets angry and slams his hands on the table, "What?!"

"Dad?" Beth asked, disappointed.

"What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?" Rick said

"Damn it!" Jerry yelled

"Jerry!" Beth yelled at Jerry angry.

"Beth!" Jerry yells back.

"Oh, my God, my parents are so loud, I want to die." Summer said, as she typed the words out on her phone.

"Mm, there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later." Rick said

"Okay, with all due respect, Rick. What am I talking about? What respect is due? How are my kids supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?" Jerry said

"Listen, Jerry, I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's it's not a place for smart people, Jerry and I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue." Rick said

Rick stands up from the table and walks over to Beth.

"This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them." Rick said

Rick gives her a kiss on the head causing her to tear up slightly.

"Oh, dad." Beth said, happy.

"What? For real?" Jerry said, gesturing to the two

"Haha you lose dad." Myra said, tiredly with half lidded eyes.

SLAM

Morty's face makes another appearance with his breakfast.

School

Myra was currently in her second period class which was advanced calculus. Instead of paying attention to the lesson Myra was currently sleeping on her desk.

"Myra. Myra. Myra!"

A loud voice awoke Myra from her peaceful slumber.

"Ugh? Wha-?" Myra questioned, waking up from her nap.

"Myra what do you think you're doing in my class?" The teacher said

"Uhh isn't it obvious I'm clearly sleeping." Myra said

"Oooooh." The class said

The teacher clearly angry at what Myra's said crosses his arms and taps his foot. "So you think you can just sleep in my class."

"Yep." Myra replies

"Do you think that you're going to pass my class like that?" He asked

"Sir, I'm taking this class because I wanted a light load for my last year in school. I could sleep everyday and answer any question you give me and ace every test you hand me." Myra said

The teachers face flushes red with anger, "Oh really now." He grits his teeth in anger and walks up to the front of the class. He erases what is on the board and writes Fermat's Last Theorem.

"If you can solve this problem not only will I let you sleep in class. I'll give you an A+ for the rest of the year and require no work from you." He said

Myra yawns and stands up from her desk and walks up to the front of the class. "Whatever." She grabs the chalk from her teacher and looks at the problem.

The teacher behind her chuckles at her believing that she won't be able to solve the problem and taught her a lesson. His plan quickly backfires on him when Myra writes down the answer to the question and hands him back the chalk.

"Now can I please go back to my nap?" Myra asked

The teacher is unable to answer her question because he is too baffled by what he just witnessed. He continues to stare at the board in disbelief.

The bell rings signaling the end of second period. "Crap." Myra said, not being able to go back to her nap.

Everyone in the class gets up and heads out of the class. Myra is about to head out of the class but turns back towards her teacher. "By the way, that is not calculus." She said

Myra walks out of class and ventures into the sea of puberty and teen angst.

As Myra walks down the hallway she spots Morty but he's not alone. He was currently being pushed against a locker by none other than Frank Paliky.

Myra narrows her eyes at the two and starts to walk over to them. She's about to take care of Morty's Frank problem but is stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll *burp* handle this." Rick said, pulling out a freeze gun.

Rick walks up behind Frank and freeze's him.

Myra joins the two, "I could of handled that."

"Yeah but I need to get you two out of her quietly. It would have been real hard if you created a crime scene." Rick said

"Wha-?" Morty said, seeing the two.

"There you are, Morty. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need some extra hands." Rick said

"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?" Morty said, staring at the Frank ice sculpture.

"It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him. Now listen I need your's and Myra's help I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. *burp* It's important. Come on, Morty." Rick said

"Meh I don't care if I leave. I'm smarter than my teachers anyway." Myra said

"I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again." Morty said

"Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!" Rick said

"Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history." Morty said

"Don't worry Morty I'll help you catch up." Myra said, patting his shoulder.

Morty turns to the frozen Frank, "What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?"

"Why? I kind of like him this way. Besides with all the hot air he blows out he could probably unthaw himself." Myra said

"Good one Myra. I'll unfreeze him later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go." Rick said

Rick walks off pulling Morty with him. Myra is about to follow but looks at the frozen Frank. She puts her hand out and is about to push him over but then pulls her hand back. "Nah. I'll do it later."

Myra turns away from Frank and runs to catch up with Morty and Rick.

Rick, Morty, and Myra make their way to an alley way. Rick pulls out his portal gun and creates a portal in the side of the alley way wall.

Myra whistles staring at the portal, "Impressive."

"There she is. All right. Come on, you two. Let's go." Rick said

"Oh, geez, okay." Morty said

The three jump through the portal and end up in a crazy freaky dimension.

"Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?" Morty said, looking around the place.

"This place is freaky." Myra said

"It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty, Myra, called a mega tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about mega seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty, Myra." Rick said

"Mega tree? Really? What a creative name." Myra said, crossing her arms.

"Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing." Morty said

"All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be-!"

Rick is cut off by a giant frightening alien that appears behind the three.

"HOLY CRAP, MORTY, MYRA, RUN!" Rick yells

The three of them take off running in a random direction screaming for their lives.

"I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die, Myra! We're gonna die, Morty!"

Timeskip

Rick, Morty, and Myra, finally escaped the alien and were catching their breath.

"Okay you two, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, MM. That's that's the smell of of of of a whole different evolutionary timeline." Rick said

"All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?" Morty said

"Yeah Rick," Myra whispers in his ear, "We gotta be careful and not let mom and dad find out."

"Right," Rick whispers back. He turns his attention back to Morty, "Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there."

Rick points at some crazy looking creature. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?" Rick points at something else, "Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

"Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave." Morty said

The trio come up to a cliff.

"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. MM, you see this?" Rick said

The three of them look over the edge of the cliff and sees a giant tree.

"You see what we just stumbled upon? Any idea what that is down there?" Rick asked

"The mega trees?" Morty and Myra said

"That's right, you two, the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school." Rick said

"All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?" Morty asked

"You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an *burp* Under *burp* underfoot figure." Rick said

Rick hands the two twins a pair of shoes. "Just take these shoes. They're *burp* special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want. Up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together."

Morty not knowing you had to turn on the shoes walks right over the cliff and plummets straight down.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Morty screamed

"Oh shit! Morty!" Myra yelled, looking over the edge down to where Morty fell.

Rick gets behind Myra and yells down to Morty, "You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!"

? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ? ゚ムᄑ?

Rick and Myra had made their way down the side of cliff and were now standing next to Morty who currently has two broken legs.

"Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on, Myra turned on hers. We had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze." Rick said

"I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!" Morty said, in pain.

"Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?" Rick asked

"Grandpa Rick! Now is not the time!" Myra said, pushing Rick. Myra sits down next to Morty and places Morty's head on his lap.

Morty gets angry at Rick, "Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but but even Hitler cared about Germany or something."

"Okay, hold on just a second, Morty." Rick said

Rick opens up a portal and step inside.

"Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh!" Morty yells withering in pain.

Myra pets Morty, "It's going to be okay Morty don't worry. Ugh where did Rick go?" Myra growing impatience puts Morty's head down and sits next to his legs. "Morty I'm going to have to fix you up myself. I don't have any anesthetic so this is going to hurt, like a lot, like I mean a lot Morty this is going to probably be the worst pain you've ever been in." Myra said

"Wha- Ahg Oh are yo- ah talking aww about?" Morty asked

"I'm going to reset your legs Morty." Myra says simply

"Myra! Nononono-!"

Myra places her hands on Morty's left leg, "Here we go."

"Ahhhhh!"

Before Myra could fix Morty's legs Rick comes back through a portal.

Rick pulls out a syringe filled with a pink liquid and injects it into Morty's legs. Within a few seconds Morty's legs start to repair themselves.

"Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick," Morty stands up on his now no longer broken legs, "That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you."

Myra pulls out a pad and pencil, "Fascinating." She said, scribbling on the pad.

"Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?" Rick said

"Sure thing, Rick." Morty said

Morty walks up to the tree and starts to climb up it. Myra stands below Morty making sure to catch the seeds and Morty if necessary.

"Not that you guys asked, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place." Rick said

"Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick." Morty said

Morty climbs back down the tree and stands next to Myra and Rick.

"There's just one problem, one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that *burp* they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there. *burp* It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, and they they they they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left." Rick pulls out the portal gun and shakes it around, "It's got no charge left."

"What?!" Morty yelled

"Seriously?" Myra questioned

"It's as good as garbage. It's not gonna work anymore." Rick said

"Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?" Morty asked, frantically.

"There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid." Rick said

"Wait? Interdimensional customs? Like an airport for cross dimensional travelers? *sigh* As if the customs on earth weren't hard enough to get through." Myra said

"Myra's right Morty, it's going to be a real pain in the ass. That's why I need this solid from you." Rick said

"Uh-oh." Morty said, worried.

"When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty." Rick said

"In my butt?" Morty asked

Myra facepalms, "For the love of-"

"Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit." Rick said, gesturing shoving it up real far.

"Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that." Morty said

"Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty." Rick said

"Uuuh." Morty said, shifting his eyes.

"And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable." Rick said

"W-what about Myra?" Morty questioned

"Are you kidding? They'll be expecting that from her. P-p-perfect decoy, besides Myra's got her ass clenched so tight you could crush diamonds with them." Rick said

Myra looks at her grandpa, "How in the hell-?"

Rick cuts off her sentence, "You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y*burp*-you've got to put these seeds inside your butt."

"In my butt?" Morty asked, looking down at the seeds

"Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty." Rick said

"Oh, man." Morty said

Myra just continues to sigh and shake her head at the interaction.

? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ? ゚フホ?

Back on Earth

Beth and Jerry were walking down the hallway discussing Morty with Prinipcal Vagina.

"The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months." Principal Vagina said

"What? Why didn't you notify us?" Beth said

"I have been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?" Principal Vagina asked

"Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?" Jerry questioned

"Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school." Principal Vagina said

They stop in the hallway to see Summer and a few other students crying over an obituary for Frank.

"Summer?" Beth asked

Summer ignores her mother and continues to cry, "What kind of God lets this happen?"

"We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death. Haha, and there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them." Principal Vagina said

They continue to walk down the hallway.

"There's also Myra." Principal Vagina said

"Oh god! He's ruining Myra too, she's in the gifted program. Beth! Your father is going to ruin her." Jerry

"Jerry-!" Beth started, but is interrupted by Principal Vagina.

"Myra has missed several weeks of school but that's not what I want to discuuss," Principal Vaginga leads them to a classroom and opens the door. "I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Flick-?"

Principal Vagina stops talking mid sentence when he sees Mr. Flick curled up in his chair shaking mumbling nonsense to himself.

"Uhhhh? Mr. Flick?" Principal Vagina asked, getting the man's attention.

As soon as the man hears his name his head snaps right towards the three at the door, "Is this them?" Mr. Flick didn't give Principal Vagina time to answer and walks up to Jerry and Beth shaking their hands. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith I teacher your daughter Myra's Advanced Calculus Class."

"Is Myra having trouble in class?" Beth asked

"I bet it's from Rick pulling her out of class. See ruining not one but two of our kids." Jerry said, with a smug look.

"Really Jerry?" Beth said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

Mr. Flick interrupts the couples arguing, "No no no no no. You two have got it all wrong. Look at what's on the board."

"Uhhh? Math problem?" Jerry asked

"Yes Mr. Smith but not just any math problem. This equation baffled minds for decades and only one man in the world has been able to solve it, but today in this class your daughter solved this problem as easy as adding 2+2." Mr. Flick said

"Are you saying-?" Beth asked

"Yes Mrs. Smith. Your daughter is not just a gifted student. She's a genius! Her intellect is unfathomable, I can't even begin to explain how high her IQ is! Your daughter shouldn't even be in this school! S-s-she should be in college working on her Doctorate! Your daughter can attend any College she pleases to! You daughter is going to change the world!" At this point Mr. Flick was foaming at the mouth.

"Okay Mr. Flick deep breathes, why don't you take a seat over here." Principal Vagina said, guiding the teacher over to a desk.

"As you heard from Mr. Flick's *cough* colorful description your daughter is excelling, and not just in math but in every subject. We went back as far as we could go into Myra's file and she has scored a perfect score on everything ever given to her. Look at this," Principal Vagina hands Beth one of Myra's science test with a perfect score, "This is an advanced level chemistry test that your daughter took and scored a perfect score on it, after she had missed three weeks of school and the entire lesson. We have no idea how Myra slipped under the radar, but we think that it's in Myra's best interest to graduate her immediately so that she can pursue a higher education at a College." Principal Vagina said

Beth and Jerry are speechless to what they just heard and just stare at Principal Vagina.

Intergalactic Customs

Myra was waiting for Morty outside the bathroom when an alien comes up next to her. Myra cringes at the alien clearly displeased with its presence.

"忣応忈怂忱,⤗⤕⬇⬀⧭⭄⥺⧫⧪⬇ " The alien said to her.

Myra raises her eyebrow, "Human, Huuuummaaaannn," Myra said gesturing to her body, "No universal translator no understand."

The alien does what she assumes is a cough and attempts to speak again, but is shoved out of the way by another alien.

"Oh great another one. Look I told the other one I don't speak alien languages." Myra said

"I know." He said

"Oh. Well what did he want? Matter of fact what do you want?" Myra asked

"He was trying to hit on you in a very unpleasant way might I add, those of lesser intelligence tend to have a crude way of communicating when it comes to such an enchanting creature such as yourself." The alien said grabbing Myra's hand

"Wha-?"

"Allow me to introduce myself I am Clore Matter, of dimension 1567-D." The alien said

He goes down to kiss Myra's hand but she's grabbed away by Rick.

"*burp* Keep your slimy mitts off of my granddaughter." Rick said, holding Myra back and pointing a finger at Clore.

"I was just merely-"

"You weren't merely shit! I know what you want. Let's go Myra." Rick said guiding Myra to the customs line.

"What the hell was that about Rick?" Myra asked

"I-It's your dna, Myra" Rick said

"My dna?" Myra asked

"Yeah. Your s-superior intelligence along with your attractiveness makes you a prime specimen to most species. Since your brain functions at such a high capacity it generates a special chemical that you release through your pores. Since your female when it's smelled by other males of any species it draws them to you. Since you have above average beauty they find you better suited as a mate rather than a science experiment." Rick said

"Awwww gross. Seriously! So I'm some sort of alien sex magnet?" Myra said, making a gross face.

"Yep. It could be worse you could have your father's looks, then you'd be floating in some jar somewhere. A little secret alien men way better than human's keep your options open." Rick said

Morty walked out of the bathroom walking awkwardly and holding his ass with his hands.

"The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only." An announcer says over a speaker.

"So, I told him, "give me the blimfarx," you know? This this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency." An alien said

"It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on girvonesk." Another alien said

"The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only." The announcer repeats.

Morty meets up with Rick and Myra who are waiting in line to get through customs.

"I don't like it here. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?" Rick asked

"Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy.

They hurt." Morty said

"That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-*burp*-all kind of things with them. It's gonna be great, Morty. A-*burp*-all kinds of science." Rick said

"Aaannnd what about me? All I've done is watch you drink and have Morty cram seeds up his ass." Myra said, crossing her arms.

"You're here to make sure Morty doesn't die. Also remember what I told you earlier, draws attention right off of Morty and his ass." Rick said

"Wha-? If I get snatched by some intergalactic perfect I'm finding the first ship home to kick your ass Rick." Myra said, angry.

"Okay next. You girl step over here." The Gromfomite said, to Myra.

"Whatever." Myra said, moving over.

Rick and Morty try to step through but Morty is stopped too.

"You go over there." The Gromfomite said

"Why does he have to go over there? You've got the girl." Rick said, pointing over to Myra who was currently getting a pat down.

SLAP

"Keep your claws above the clothing!"

"Random check. He's got to go through the new machine." The Gromfomite said

"What new *burp* what new machine?" Rick said

"It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt." The Gromfomite said

Rick grabs Morty hand and starts sprinting, "Run, Morty! Run Myra!"

Myra hearing this punches the Gromfomite who was patting her down and grabs his gun following Rick and Morty.

"Aaaaaah!" Morty screams as they run.

"Red alert!"

A team of Gromfomite's start chasing after the three.

Rick pushes over a giant capsule, with an alien fetus over, smashing some Gromfomite's, to slow them down.

"Ohhhhhh!" Morty screamed

Rick, Morty, and Myra crash through a life support system for a trapped alien life form and Morty inhales gas from the alien. He coughs up a blob and it turns into a small alien. The alien becomes freed, and starts running through the glarp zone and goes through the entire aging process from developing fetus to decomposing corpse, over the course of three seconds.

Morty becomes horrified after seeing this, "Aaaaah!"

"Don't think about it!" Rick yelled

The three of them become cornered but Morty activates the grappling shoes and runs up the wall.

"Ooh! Oh, nice, Morty! The student becomes the teacher." Rick said, turning on his boots.

Myra turns on her boots too, then Myra and Rick follow after Morty.

The Gromfomite's open their wings and starts flying after them.

"Whoooooo!" Morty yells, seeing them fly towards them.

They run through the equipment on the ceiling, before they slip off to the ground.

"Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to-" An alien says, but the three of them crash to the ground and the alien dies. They then run to the portal computer.

"I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, MM. Cover me." Rick said

Rick tosses Morty a gun, as Myra pulls out the gun she previously stole and starts shooting at the Gromfomite's.

Morty clumsily catches the gun, "Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody."

"They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!" Rick yells

Morty shoots a Gromfomite, and ends up blowing his leg off. The wound starts to gush out a dark purple blood as The Gromfomite drops down in pain.

"Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!" The Gromfomite screamed

Another Gromfomite drops next to him and cradles him, "Flynn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!"

"They're not robots, Rick!" Morty screams out horrified.

"It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty." Rick said

"Morty now is not the time! I don't care what universe were in I am not going to jail, so keep shooting!" Myra yells at her brother.

"Myra's right you have no idea what prison is like here!" Rick yelled

Morty and Myra continue shooting up the Gromfomite's. Myra ends up shooting two Gromfomite's killing them. Morty unfortunately doesn't have any aim and while trying to shoot at the Gromfomite's he kills some innocent bystanders.

"Holy crap! This is insane!" Morty yells

"Just keep fucking shooting! Rick how long!" Myra yells

As soon as Myra finishes her sentence Rick finally gets the portal open.

"Come on! We got to get the hell out of here!" Rick yelled

Rick grabs the twins and pulls them into the to portal.

The portal opens up in the lunchroom at Morty and Myra's school. The three of them land on the table where Jessica and her friends were eating.

"Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?" Jessica asked Morty

Morty becomes nervous over Jessica talking to him and stutters, "Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my my Ferrari's in the shop. Ahhah, Just kidding." Morty said, nervously.

"You're Morty, right?" Jessica asked

"Yeah." Morty said, happy.

Rick grabs Morty's arm, "You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass."

Rick, Morty, and Myra run out of the cafeteria but are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina.

"Oh, look, honey. It's our son and daughter with Albert Ein-douche." Jerry said, angry.

"What?" Beth said, confused.

"I'm an angry father, not an improvisor." Jerry said

"Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! Myra! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your your parents and I are very disappointed in in this behavior." Rick said, poorly faking his act.

It's clear on everyone's face that no one is buying Rick's act.

"No? No takers?" Rick asked

? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ? ゚メᄀ?

Rick, Morty, and Myra are now back at home in the garage, watching Beth and Jerry pack away Rick's stuff and putting it in a giant moving truck.

"You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning." Rick said

"You're beyond our reasoning!" Jerry said, pointing a finger at Rick.

"Takes one to know one." Rick said, crossing his arms.

"Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's. " Beth said, anger and disappointment clear in her voice.

Myra opens her mouth to speak but is stopped by Beth who puts her hand in her face.

"Not a word Myra." Beth said

"What what are you guys doing with my stuff?" Rick asked

"We're moving you to a nursing home." Beth said

"A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun." Rick said, outraged.

"Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the boy scouts every Christmas." Jerry said

"What does that mean?" Beth said, confused.

"It's personal." Jerry said

"Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all." Morty said

"Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own." Jerry said

Myra was about to open her mouth again but is once again silenced by her mother's hand.

"No Myra." Beth said

"What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?" Rick said

"Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes." Beth said

"I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?" Rick asked, sarcastically.

"Oh, for crying out- he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?" Jerry said

"I do?" Morty said, making a dopey face.

"*sigh* Oh Morty." Myra said, patting Morty's back in a comforting way.

"Well, duh doy, son," Jerry gets down to Morty's level and gently grasp his shoulders, "Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you gotta work twice as hard." Jerry said

Morty steps away from Jerry and grabs his head in thought, "Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once."

"Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi." Rick said

"Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't." Morty said

"The square root of pi, Morty. Go!" Rick said

Morty stops moving and his pupils get bigger, "1.77245385, Whoa!" Morty finished amazed.

"What the hell?" Beth said

"Yeah what the hell? He's right." Myra said

"Myra language! But, Holy crap. He's right." Jerry said

"Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics." Rick said

Morty goes back into his weird state, "The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system. Wow! I'm so smart!"

"But-?" Jerry said

"I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty and Myra are both gifted children," Rick puts his arms around their shoulders, "They have special minds. That's why they're my little helpers. They're like me. They're gonna be doing great science stuff later in life. They're too smart for school. They need to keep hanging out and helping me." Rick said

"Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop." Beth said

"No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But Morty has to keep going to school." Jerry said

"Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication." Rick said

Summer burst in the garage door crying.

"Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!" Summer said, in tears.

"No idea what you're talking about." Rick said

Him and Myra share a secret high five behind their backs.

Summer continues to cry and runs out of the garage.

"Okay. Well, uh, Morty, Myra. It's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again," Jerry grabs Beth in a side hug, "This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you."

"You know what? Okay." Beth said

Beth and Jerry go to leave but stop when Beth remembers something extremely important.

"How could we almost forget. Jerry go get the thing." Beth said

"What thing?" Jerry asked

"You know the thing." Beth said

"Uhhhh?" Jerry said

"Myra's thing." Beth said, getting frustrated

"Oh! Right!" Jerry said

Jerry runs into the house and comes back shortly with something covered in a small cloth.

"Myra we have something very important for you. You are so special and we are so sorry it took us this long to realize it." Beth said

Jerry starts tearing up, "We are so proud of you honey."

Myra not used to this type of affection backs up from her parents, "Why are you guys acting like this. It's kind of creeping me out."

"We had a talk with one of your teachers today and your Principal. They thought that it was in your best interest to give you this." Beth said

Jerry removes the cloth and shows a diploma.

"Holy- is that a diploma." Myra asked

"Yes. Congratulations Myra you are now a High School graduate." Beth said, extremely happy.

"*burp* It's about time. Like I said school is stupid. Myra passed it and she slept most of the time." Rick said

"That's because our little Myra here is a genius." Jerry said, still crying. He goes down to give Myra a hug.

"Uhhhmmm Okay." Myra said, awkwardly hugging her dad back.

"We'll have to throw a party to celebrate. Oh and Myra you and me can look at some college's later." Beth said, leading a still crying Jerry out of the garage.

Once they leave Myra throws her hands in the air. "Yeah motherfuckers I'm done with High School no more prepubescent morons. I don't have to spend another second in that hormonal waste dump. Guess your going to be having me around a lot more huh Grandpa Rick."

"Whatever. *burp* I'm going to have to teach a lot about other galaxies so your scent and boobs don't get you kidnapped and you end up becoming the housewife of some infinite being of horror on a planet that rains shit." Rick said

"Holy cow, Myra. I'm really happy for you, and I didn't know hanging out with you Rick was making me smarter. Maybe if I keep it up I'll be as smart as you and Myra." Morty said

"Full disclosure, Morty it's not gonna happen. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity." Rick said

"Aw, man." Morty said, disappointed

"Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty. Starting right about now." Rick said

Morty starts to drool and falls on the ground, "Ohh, man, Oh, geez! Ohh."

Morty starts seizing up and makes moaning sounds.

"I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more." Rick said

While Morty has a seizure, Rick excitedly looks at him, "And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear you, me, and Myra apart, Morty, but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you and your sister are gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and us, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick, Morty, and Myra. Rick, Morty, and Myra and their adventures, Morty. Rick and the two M's forever and forever. Me and the two M's running around, and Rick and Morty and Myra time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty and Myra forever 100 times. Over and over, . All 100 years. Every minute, .

Myra just sighs at the two. "I'll get a belt to put in Morty's mouth so he doesn't bite out his tongue." Myra said leaving the garage.

END