Axel slunk forth through the streets, his companions at his heels. The cold cobble stones were cracked and caked with ice, but of course the pyro didn't feel it.

Roxas, of course, seemed to be voicing his freezing condition the most.

"It's freezing out here!" the Key Of Destiny griped, hugging himself fiercely and rubbing his arms. "Why can't we go inside like normal people?!"

"Because, Roxas," Larxene said simply, turning her head to look at him, "there are many bars on either side of us, and we don't want the responsibility and guilt of an inebriated minor on our hands."

"You're not gonna bother even faking those two!" Roxas retorted. "Your sense of responsibility is equal to that of a drunken monkey, and you have enough guilt to start your own religion!"

"Why, you...," Larxene growled, but Demyx and Axel quickly clapped their hands and made exclamation noises.

"Hey," Axel said, stretching out the word, "let's slide on in to this bar; it's the least crowded one here!"

Demyx nodded at the two, not bothering to point out that it was just like all the other bars when it came to the number of occupants. "I'll bet it's warm in there, too, Roxas. C'mon, let's go."

Roxas sulked beside Axel, and the group walked into the bar without any trouble. Several pairs of eyes flicked to the small group of four, but soon paid them no heed, preoccupied with their beverages. Axel found a table at the far corner of the bar and seated himself, Demyx following shortly after. Axel frowned. "Where'd Roxas and Larxene run off to?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Demyx blinked and turned around. "Can't see them," he murmured as he turned back around. "Where do you think they ran off to?"

Axel shrugged, then said, "I dunno, but it's best not to leave them alone for too long when at least one of them is in a mood. You'd pretty much be spray-painting Vexen's lab or giving Xigbar a tranquilizer."

Demyx blinked, letting Axel clarify.

"In other words, all hell shall break loose if you leave Roxas and Larxene alone together and at least one is moody."


"Nah, I don't drink," Larxene said to the bartender, "but if you can give me some of that delicious red wine, that'd be splendid." She flashed a quick wink at the middle-aged man, and somehow she got her glass on the house.

Roxas stared. When the man left, he asked her, "How'd you get it for free?"

"Weren't you watching me, twerp?" Larxene asked after taking a small sip. "Anyway, what? You want a sip?"

Roxas blinked. "You were the one who didn't want me drinking in the first place!"

Larxene gave a low chuckle, nearly confusing the boy. "I only said that because Axel and Demyx were right there. But hey, if you want a drink, you'll get one. It's the only way you'll learn..."

Before the Key Of Destiny could ask what she meant, Larxene beckoned the bartender over and ordered something to drink for Roxas. When the drink came to Larxene's possession, the Nymph slid it over to her left, right in front of Roxas. "What is it?" Roxas asked mechanically.

"Beer," came the nonchalant answer.

"Ew..."

"It smells funny, huh?" Larxene conceded. "It tastes funny, too. Take a sip."

Roxas frowned, but nevertheless took the huge mug and drank. His eyes widened almost immediately and he coughed, though he swallowed his mouthful. "Gross!" he complained, shoving the mug back to Larxene. "Why do they all drink this stuff, anyway?!"

Larxene shrugged. "It 'drowns out their sorrows', but makes them act like idiots." She finished her glass of wine and ordered another glass.


"Have you heard about that prince who lives in the castle, not too far north of here?"

Axel's ears pricked, and he and Demyx eavesdropped on the conversation of the two two drunkards over to the next table.

"Yeah," his companion slurred. "I heards he's quite the rude one. But maybe that's acuz he doesn't have anyone to love?"

Axel's grin widened in a conspiratorial manner.

The first man grunted. "Maybe that's because hardly anyone can even make it to his castle; there's dense wood between here and there. Not to mention the wolves."

"I'll bet," his friend offered, "if someone can get him a girl, he'd be happier, and maybe share some of his fortunes with everybody, especially all us poor folk! Say, why don't we suggest Gaston?"

"Gaston's a man, or are you too drunk to notice again?!"

"Wha...? No! I mean we can send Gaston over to find the mean prince a girl!"

The first man sighed. "Bad idea. Gaston would probably take the girl for himself; if he didn't accidentally shoot her first."

The conversation soon drifted into nothing, but Axel was now grinning from ear to ear. "You hear that, Dem?" the pyro asked with quiet excitement. "Riches! We'll get that dude a girl, and he'll give us a reward! How desperate can someone get?!"

"Uh, I think you're wording it wrong," Demyx said worriedly. "That guy was just hypothesizing..."

"Oh, who cares? We'll get those riches somehow. All we have to do is find a girl. But first," he waved a finger in front of Demyx's face, "we have to check that castle out; maybe we can deduct what type of girl he likes."

Demyx shrugged and rose. "Now we just gotta go get Roxas and Larxene."


"You know what I mean?" Larxene asked hazily. "You know what it's like, to be the two lowest members in rank? I'm the only girl, and you're the youngest, and everybody pushes you around?"

Roxas looked back down to the Nymph leaning heavily on his shoulder. "Oh, I know what you mean," he said indulgently. "It bites sometimes; you don't really have a say in the matter when it comes to being ordered around."

"Oh yeah," Larxene slurred, the blush on her cheeks a pinkish red. "This is the reason why hierarchy systems don't really work in the end: we all eventually kill each other because of it." She gave a small hiccup, and Roxas shifted his shoulder for her to get a more comfortable position.

"Roxas?" Larxene asked suddenly. "Do you like somebody?"

Roxas gave a weak, sympathetic grin, like one who was trying to make the best of a situation. "Well, I don't like a Somebody; I like a Nobody."

"What's with the Italian accent all of a sudden?" Larxene demanded, frowning. "We already plundered that sweets shop in Venice; you don't have to use it anymore. Though I gotta say, Demyx had the worst Italian accent I've ever heard..." Larxene heaved a sigh and wrapped her arms around Roxas, still resting her head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Roxas blurted, yet knowing in his mind that she was intoxicated.

Well, to put it more in retrospect, drunk off her ass.

"Oh, just perfect," Larxene murmured. "I haven't felt this good in a long time, I think... You know what, Roxas? You do look like you're my kid! Remember when you pretended to be my kid when Demyx, Axel, Xigbar and I wanted to get into that one strip club?"

"Yeah," Roxas answered, suddenly remembering that incident. "The sign said 'Families Get In Free!'... Apparently you were my mother, Axel was my father, Demyx was my uncle, and Xigbar was my grandpa... Why did you want to go...?" Roxas asked suddenly, remembering that that club only had female strippers.

Larxene rolled her eyes. "I should think that was obvious! I wanted the great food they had there!" She sighed blissfully and continued holding Roxas. Roxas wondered how she could actually pull that off comfortably; they were both seated on individual bar stools, and the boy figured that any other drunk who tried this would have fallen off already.

"Excuse me, young man?"

Crap, it was the bartender. Roxas gulped.

"You might wanna take your older lady friend off if she's that drunk..."

"Oh, it's all right, officer," Larxene drawled, looking up. "He's my son."

Roxas nodded, but inside he felt a tiny jolt; this time he knew Larxene actually thought he was her son.

The bartender nodded, frowning all the while. "If you say so, but don't say I didn't warn you if you get into a bar fight. And they're quite common here." He went back to his business, cleaning glasses that didn't need to be cleaned.

Roxas frowned worriedly when a hand clapped his shoulder. He whirled around instinctively, and Larxene managed to somehow catch herself on the seat before she actually fell. "Don't fight me!" the young boy cried, shielding his eyes with his arms. "I was about to leave to take my mother home!"

Axel frowned in a concerned fashion for Roxas, but Demyx was snickering behind the pyro. "You're mother?" Axel asked flatly, eyebrow now raised. "We're not in that strip club anymore, Roxas. You can drop the act."

"Axel?" Roxas breathed in disbelief, dropping his arms. "Why don't you tell somebody when you're gonna do that?!" he demanded, glaring at his best friend. "Oh, screw it and let's get outta here already!" He waved his hand in the air with a dramatic flash.

"Ooh, I think Marluxia woulda been jealous of that gesture!" Demyx said to Axel, who laughed when Roxas heard and glared.

Axel's expression changed quickly when he felt a slender hand on his shoulder; he looked to see Larxene supporting herself on him. "Don't tell me...," the pyro muttered.

"If you take us into a bar, Axel," Larxene laughed hazily, "it's a damn sure guarantee that at least one of us will get drunk!"

"She's got a point, you know...," Demyx concurred, and he grinned weakly at a frowning Axel.

Axel rolled his green eyes. Slinging Larxene's left arm over his shoulder, his right arm around her waist, he said to Demyx, "C'mon, we'll portal to that forest when we get outside, then we'll go find that castle."

"Hurry up, then," Larxene grouched, "or we'll lose sight of my kid up there walking out the bar!"


A/N: Yep, I decided to make Beast's Castle the first target, though he's not a beast yet, of course.