There was something in the rhythm of the speeding Escalade's tires, something about the recurring, vague bounce as it sped along the interstate that was making her feel as though she had not slept in days. Jayde was not sure what it was but it was giving the same affect as she figured rocking a baby would give. Upon reflection, it could have been the fact that after finally falling asleep at around one that morning, she found herself being woken promptly at eight by Joker, telling her they needed to leave. It could have been the fact that since two days prior, her mind had not stopped working, even in her dreams. It seemed her normally active imagination and thoughts had been thrown forcefully into overdrive and she had not allowed herself to stop thinking for nearly seventy-two hours since…well, since that one night.

Beside her, scowling blankly through the windshield sat the Joker, his scarred complexion completely expressionless as he watched the road before them…Jayde had started counting that characteristic scowl as his default facial expression. The tiny amount of affection, if one could call it that, he had shown her the previous night had been exceedingly unsatisfying, seeing how it had been nearly three days since he had given any indication that he was even thinking about kissing her. And seeing how Jayde had grown rather attached to being alive, she did not dare mention it or try to sneak one in when he was not expecting it. So she forced herself to remain silent, as was the pattern of late and instead watched through the passenger window as the Escalade followed the dip in the road.

They had passed the sign reading 'Welcome to Illinois' nearly an hour ago and it seemed, finally, the wheels of the SUV were slowing and pulling off to the right to exit. However, it was painfully, immediately obvious from the rather podunk appearance of the town they had entered that they were nowhere near Chicago yet. The thought of spending another few hours in absolute silence seemed more daunting than ever, the threat of which magnified by her oppressive sleepiness and admitted crankiness. She knew it was unfair of her to be irritated at Joker's horrible, lasting mood but she at least wished there was something she could say or do to break the tension…But she had a huge feeling that reaching over to undo his jeans could end in either death or a huge argument in which she had no strength to contend. So she took a deep breath, leaning her head back to rest against the leather seat behind her.

Lower-class neighborhoods of one-story homes led them into a small town of random stores and restaurants, feed and tackle shops bustling with local farm-owners, starkly contrasting with the urban environment of the main city of Chicago. It was somewhat funny to Jayde how such a small, simple city could exist just hours from a metropolis of corporate business, crime and gang violence and she was just wishing privately to herself that Joker had chosen somewhere like this for them to stay, when she noticed a wonderfully familiar, circular green sign up ahead on the right. Her heart leapt when she thought of a hot cup of steaming Starbucks coffee, but then sank right back down to somewhere near her stomach when her thoughts then turned to asking Joker to stop. It seemed pointless but she was really tired and she found it more than probable that Joker was thirsty as well, so she gambled her life and took a deep breath. She glanced over at him, hoping her words would not cause the car to suddenly burst into flames.

"Um…" she started, glancing from the scowling Joker to the nearing sign and back, swallowing hard. "Would it be alright if we stopped for coffee? There's a-…" she paused here, trying hard to keep Joker from growing more angry…His default mood was already at a baseline 'irritated'. "There's a Starbucks up here and I can barely keep my eyes-…"

"Fine." Came Joker's answer before she could even finish her sentence, launching that ever increasingly familiar lump into her throat once again. She ignored it for the time being, looking away to the passenger window as Joker pulled the Escalade into the parking lot. The wheels crunched the asphalt as he turned into a spot off to the side, pushing the gear into park. Luckily, Jayde knew of a bit of money she had managed to save from the previous night but refrained from pulling it from her pocket for fear that he might ask why the fuck she hadn't given it back to him. Miraculously, however, a smile found her face when her memory took her back to the last and only time Joker had gone into a Starbucks with her. She turned to him as her hand found the handle of the door, grinning placidly at him as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from between the seats.

"Wanna come with me?" she asked rather gently, hoping the allure of arousing some chaos within the store would pique his interest…just like old times…But instead of the excited 'YEAH!' she had been praying for, her heart sank when Joker shook his head, exhaling a thin stream of smoke through the driver's window as a short, dismissive laugh escaped through his nose…as though Jayde had been stupid for even suggesting that he might want to join her. When he did not go on to give a verbal answer, a pang of ache shot through her but she ignored it as she got out of the car. It was amazing how quickly she was growing accustomed to this side of him…

Joker brought the cigarette to his lips as he watched Jayde's retreating figure through the windshield, distracting himself from his whirling thoughts by pausing to wonder what had possibly possessed him to stop. He could have easily ignored her and kept going, could have pretended not to hear her, which was even more likely, being that his ears had not stopped ringing since that house had blown up…This thought forced his hand out, turning on the radio to spin the dial until music came through the speakers. It didn't matter what kind, just as long as it was louder and more prominent than the voice of his mind.

Thinking back, Joker could imagine why Jayde would have offered for him to go with her into the coffee shop, remembering what had happened last time he had set foot in one of those corporate crack houses. It seemed so long ago now, but it was growing more and more obvious to him that Jayde was bound and determined to force him back into his normal, obnoxiously chaotic ways. But if he was going to be himself, he would do it on his own terms…not because Jayde was tired of…whatever it was he was doing. He had not forced her to come with him. In fact, he had gone out of his way to give her an option, and now…he could not help but find himself mildly regretting putting the offer on the proverbial table. His 'fear' was already coming to light; she was already slowing him down.

Seemingly unconsciously, Joker felt himself reach out for the gear-shifter, not even bothering to pull his eyes from the front of the store as he put the Escalade into reverse, moving his foot from the brake to the gas petal. The enormous SUV began to roll backwards as Joker watched the back of Jayde through the lightly tinted, glass store front, the thought of her phone and purse sitting on the seat next to him barely phasing his practically frozen, numb mind. He could do it. He could leave right that second and continue on his way, leaving Jayde in the middle of nowhere with no money besides the twenty-eight dollars he knew she had in her pocket, with no phone and no way of ever finding him again. He could get into Chicago only slightly behind schedule, reach his destination, get drunk, pass out, then wake up and start rebuilding with no thought of what he had lost.

The wheels had just reached the end of the parking space when a sudden vision, a flashback of sorts flew into his mind of a conversation he had had a while ago and phantom words, spoken in a very black, very Chicago accent floated into his memory.

"You're gonna end up doing somethin' you'll regret, I promise you that, Ki…"

With a groan, Joker pushed the Escalade back into drive, slowly pressing his foot back down on the brake as he inched back into the parking spot, as if giving himself a few seconds to change his mind again…But by the time the SUV had moved back into place, Jayde was stepping out of the front of the store, holding a bag in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other. She smiled at him through the windshield as she approached, clearly unaware that he had been moments from abandoning her. A breathy sigh escaped her as she climbed into the car and Joker looked away pointedly as he finished his cigarette, surprised and thoroughly ashamed of himself for feeling slightly guilty about what he had almost done.

"I got you some orange juice…" she put lightly, reaching out to hand him a small, cold bottle of yellowish, orange liquid. He glanced over, but rolled his eyes as he took it from her, setting it down with a thud in the cup holder between them.

"-with my money," he growled, pushing the car back into reverse. "How thoughtful of me…"

Jayde wanted to turn and snap at him, incredibly tempted to tell him to shut the fuck up but this was obviously his way of grieving, this was clearly the sort of vibe he felt he needed to put out, so she swallowed it down with the refreshing bit of coffee she had just taken from her cup.

An hour later, with the Escalade once again bouncing along the highway, Jayde was almost finished with her coffee and was feeling immensely more at ease, with special help from the faint, but still playing music Joker had turned on at some point. She was not necessarily listening, but the noise, no matter how quiet, was helping to ease the tension and somewhat awkward silence in the car. It was giving her something else to focus her mind on besides how she was going to survive the next few weeks with a permanently grouchy Joker. Her phone had only done so much to distract her and after going through the old calls and very scarce text messages and after finding no interest in the phone's one game, she put it away, moving on to then wonder how Joker would react if she were to light a cigarette and roll down the window.

His eyebrows had seemingly formed a permanent wrinkle between them from his scowl and for a moment or two, she considered telling him jokingly that if he stayed like that much longer, his face would be stuck that way forever. But seeing how he most definitely was not in the mood for conversation and would probably not find it funny, she rolled her eyes to herself, leaning down to reach into her purse for that pack of cigarettes she had bought the previous night. She could practically feel Joker watching her but as she sat up with a cigarette in one hand, the lighter in the other, her ears picked up the sound of a rap song she recognized beginning to play on the radio. The hook in the intro was familiar to her although she wasn't sure who the artist was. The words began a few seconds later.

"Now I don't really care what you call me,

just as long as you don't call me bro.

I bet they knew as soon as they saw me.

Goodnight, it's over with that's all she wrote.

Streets like cold Chicago,

Ain't nothin' new I seen it all before,

But still I ball like no tomorrow,

Goodnight, it's over with that's all sh-"

Joker reached out and turned off the radio with such quickness and force that Jayde jumped slightly, forcing herself not to look over at him confusedly. The silence had returned with such abruptness that Jayde immediately felt that anxiety return to fester inside of her so without pausing to ask or even think about how he would react, she rolled the window down after lighting her cigarette. The affect was instantaneous, the cancerous smoke working effectively to calm her newborn nerves, although she was finding it hard to ignore the way Joker had just snapped to and turned off the radio. There was a thousand and one different reasons to why he could have done that, but even just in her mind, Jayde realized it really was none of her business so she pushed the thoughts away and chalked it up to him not liking the song.

Several silent hours and a few cigarettes later, Jayde was beginning to recognize her surroundings and the Escalade had just come over a slight hill in the highway, when down below, in front of them sat a monstrous city. Her heart could not stop itself from giving a small leap of excitement when she imagined them stopping and finally being able to stand up, stretch and unpack her things, depending on whether their destination revealed itself to be a hotel or an apartment of some sort. Joker had not yet specified where it was they would staying, but either way, Jayde figured that once they were there, it might be easier to coerce him into some sort of conversation when he didn't have 'I'm driving' as an excuse for the lack of dialogue. But seeing how she really didn't want to get her hopes up, only to be let down again, she glanced over at him, watching for a few moments as he gnawed on his bottom lip. His knee was bouncing as the anxiety of reaching Chicago began to work itself up in him, but Jayde ignored this and took a deep breath.

"So where are we staying?" she asked in a bright tone, hoping to disguise the constantly growing state of despair she was trying to overcome; if both of them were openly miserable then life was bound to be…miserable. She had to keep a good face on. Beside her, Joker cleared his throat, forcing himself to glance through his own window and not over at Jayde before he looked back to the road.

"A house." he answered, his voice flat. Jayde watched the side of his face as her eyes started to squint. It was so very like him to be vague, but she could not decide whether he was starting to act like himself again already or if he was merely being curt for irritation's sake.

"Well…Where is it?" she went on to ask, bending her knee to rest her ankle beneath her other thigh, smiling as forcefully up at him as she could possibly manage. But almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, her stomach clenched up when she noticed the muscle against Joker's jaw twitch when he gritted his teeth inside his cheek. He reached over, patting her knee with much more force than necessary as a highly fake, forced grin met his scarred face.

"I guess you're about to find out, arentcha?" he replied with another question, squeezing hard on her knee until Jayde whimpered and he pulled his hand away to the steering wheel. His tired eyes blinked slowly as he looked back to the road, forcefully ignoring the pitiful, pathetic sniffle he was already growing tired of hearing from her when she teared up. He couldn't imagine how squeezing her knee had hurt that bad, but then again, she was a girl and was being more sensitive than usual lately…perhaps it was nearly that time of the month…Fantastic…

By the time the Escalade had pulled down Lincoln avenue, Jayde had finally stopped her attempt at getting his attention by crying quietly to herself and was now wiping her moist cheeks on the back of her hand, glancing through the windows. It was obvious she was beginning to understand where they were headed but Joker ignored this until they finally pulled into the driveway of a very familiar, now haunted house on the corner of Lincoln and Platt. The ugly, yellowish paint was peeling as avidly as it always had along the side, the yard as brown as ever but Joker was already doing his best to ignore everything, everything at the moment…at least until Jayde looked over at him, mouthing wordlessly in shock at his decision. He paused as he turned off the car, his eyes trained on a stray piece of frayed denim on the knee of his jeans.

"Um…" she began. This was her usual intro into anything she said to him lately, as if the sound of her voice would launch him into some blind rage…He couldn't say he blamed her... "Are-…are you sure you want to stay-…" His lips parted as he turned to look at her, once again ignoring the way his stomach clenched uncomfortably when he noticed the watery, red appearance to her normally bright blue eyes.

Jinx…

"Ya know, Jayde?" he started, squinting slightly. "It's really unattractive when you ask stupid questions." And with that, he turned to get out of the car, leaving Jayde to stare after him, open-mouthed, completely amazed at how she found herself thoroughly unable to answer him. But out of fear for him having an outburst, she got out and went to the back where he was already in the process of removing the heavier of the boxes. She grabbed several bags, slinging them over her shoulders to follow him up to the front door of Tre's old house, waiting silently, patiently for him to unlock it so she could follow him inside.

The air was thick inside the house, as the air conditioning had not been run in months and she could not help but immediately notice a somewhat musty smell in the living room as she walked in after Joker. However, this was among the least of her worries when she paused just on the inside of the door, her eyes falling across the house to where Tre's old bedroom door stood open, leading her gaze into the nearly empty room. Part of her wanted to run over and slam it shut, close off that room entirely, put it out of Joker's thoughts, but apparently, he had been thinking something along the same lines.

The box he was carrying met the dusty, ugly carpet with a thud as he dropped it there, stalking over, past the kitchen to the door, where he reached out, pulling it shut quickly. Jayde dared not watch as he walked back, but could not stop herself from noticing the way he had turned his head at the last moment, not allowing himself to look into the room as he had slammed the door shut. As he returned, Jayde exhaled quietly, slowly through her nose as he stepped past her and to the door, flinching slightly out of instinct when the very edge of his arm brushed her shoulder. He paused, turning back to her as he held the screen door open and for a split-second of fantastic hope, Jayde thought he was about to apologize for his attitude and harsh words all morning, but instead he nodded toward the hallway that led to his old bedroom.

"Put your stuff in there and start unpacking," he instructed shortly, not even bothering to waste more time to meet her eyes before he walked away, letting the screen slap lamely against the frame of the door behind him. Jayde watched him go, feeling more of those awful, hot tears begin to swell up along the edges of her eyes, but she blinked several times, forcing them back. At least for the next few hours, she could distract herself with unpacking and besides…Joker could not avoid her forever in such a small house.

Joker's old bedroom was exactly as they had left it months ago, before their return to Gotham and his unfortunate run-in with the police, before Jayde had been forced back to work at Starbucks and before…everything that had happened after that. The dirty, white curtains hung motionless against the musty windows, allowing only a small amount of translucent light in through the glass, illuminating the ugly bedspread that Jayde was positive was absolutely covered in dust. She made mental note of it to shake it outside before she even thought about laying down. Fortunately, she had brought her own pillows from the house back in Gotham and was fully planning on putting those to good use later on that night.

The sound of the front door closing acted as a trigger, pulling her from her inspection of her 'new bedroom' and she was just wondering how things were going to work out, now that they were actually going to be sharing a room when Joker stepped up beside her, tossing a few bags onto the bed. She tried not to be too obvious with her cringe as a small cloud of dust rose up in a vague plume around the black duffle bags. But since Joker was in such a fine mood, she ignored him and reached out, pulling the closest one to her, to unzip it and begin pulling some of her clothes and undergarments from within. Her hands were almost moving of their own accord as she listened to Joker struggle with what he was trying to say, as it was obvious he was simply standing there watching her, thinking. It was incredibly hard not to turn and look up at him. Finally, he exhaled heavily as though he had been holding his breath and Jayde stood from leaned over, turning to face him as he pretended to take in the state of his old room.

"I'm goin' out for a while," he stated blandly. Jayde felt her heart sink. "Don't wait up."

And with that, as simply as the words had obviously been for him to say, he left the room, followed shortly by the sound of the front door opening and closing once more and again, Jayde fought hard not to sink into more tears. Honestly, she couldn't even believe she still had tears to cry anymore at this point…

The first two bags were easy enough to unpack, as they contained most of her clothes, although at first, she had been hesitant on putting them away, unsure of where Joker would like her to keep them. There were two nearly identical dressers across from each other, one against the wall next to the door, the other against the wall across from the foot of the bed and seeing how there was no closet, Jayde gambled that the one with the TV atop it, across from the bed would be hers. The drawers were wonderfully deep and long, giving her plenty of space to stow her clothes, and before long, she found herself with every single article of clothing she owned put away…with three more drawers to spare. She wondered if at any point in his life, Joker had owned enough clothing to actually fill all the drawers in both dressers…or if other belongings had taken the empty spaces. This train of thought brought her to another…Where had he gone?

She knew it was none of her business, but it seemed almost unfair in a way that he had left her there, in a 'new' house, all by herself. There was no food in the fridge, more than likely no water yet and the coffee she had drank earlier was making her incredibly thirsty. It just seemed fitting that Joker would leave her to figure this out on her own, and as she wondered when he would be returning, her increasingly paranoid mind forced her to then wonder…if he was coming back. However, it seemed unlikely that he would just leave her there, with all of his belongings so instead of wasting more time worrying and sulking, she grabbed one of the other bags and unzipped it. After debating with herself, upon opening the bag to find his clothes, on whether or not she wanted to oblige him with a favor by putting his things away, she rolled her eyes at her constant need to make him happy and pulled a pair of his jeans from the bag.

It seemed from the way every item she took out was wrinkled and bunched up, that Joker had simply shoved all of his clothes into these bags and forced them in until he could zip them. Jayde could not blame him for this; things had not exactly gone according to plan for their 'moving day'…It was obvious he had just been trying to get as far away from that house as fast as humanly possible. Being that all three of his bags had been packed this same way, Jayde decided it might just be easiest to pull everything out all together and refold it all at the same time, versus folding and putting away each individual item. So after doing this for nearly twenty minutes, she was about to start putting things away when her hands faltered on a painfully familiar piece of fabric, stuffed into the very corner of the last bag. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes, before she even pulled it from the bag.

Jayde turned and dropped down onto the bed, completely forgoing her idea to not touch it until she had time to dust it off and her head lowered as her tears spilled down her cheeks, dropping onto the thin, cotton, gray, hoodie sweatshirt in her lap. The warm, salty liquid formed dark spots on the material as she brought it to her cheek, feeling as though this reaction would have been more appropriate if Joker had been the one to die that night at the Gordon's house, and not Tre. But then again, as she thought about it, Jayde began to realize that, in a way, Joker had died that night…at least, a part of him that could never be retrieved had been blown apart with his best friend, burned to ashes in the ensuing fire.

She could remember so clearly how comforting it had been to wear this sweatshirt when Joker had been in prison, when she felt she would never see him again and now, just holding it was giving her the same sort of comfort. It seemed now, and for the past few days, Jayde was feeling some of that same emotion, that same hopelessness she had felt when he was so far out of her reach. She now felt even further from him than she ever had before…even when he was sitting right next to her.

But this was foolishness, she told herself. Joker was simply grieving, in his own way and she would be an idiot to think he could just bounce back from the loss he had experienced. She imagined losing Audrey and just the thought made her feel sick…and she had not known her for a fraction of the time Tre and Joker had been best friends. She truly could not imagine what he was going through. Again, she forced herself to remember what Dotcom had said about her being the only one who could give him love and sniffled heavily, blinking hard to try and suck her tears back in but with a slight jump, she remembered her phone in her back pocket. It emerged from the confines of the denim a moment later in Jayde's fingers and she hurriedly scrolled through to find the appropriate number, clearing her throat as she pushed the green button and held the phone between the side of her head and shoulder. If there was anyone who could give her encouragement, it was Dotcom. After two rings, an excited, gay voice broke through the other end and Jayde's heart leapt.

"HI, HONEY!" Dotcom squealed in her ear, mounting a giant smile to Jayde's face as she sniffed again, already feeling loads better at the sound of his voice. "How are you? Did you make it to Chicago? Are you unpacked? How was the drive?" As was his usual manner, Dotcom launched all of these questions simultaneously without pausing to leave her time for an answer or even to breathe and Jayde laughed as she stood back up, leaving Joker's sweatshirt where it lay so she could continue putting things away.

"I'm alright, and yes, we made it." She answered, but when Dotcom remained silent, she giggled again, figuring he was waiting for her to go on and finish answering him. "And I'm just unpacking now and the drive was…quiet." She finally forced herself to admit. From the silence on the other end, followed by the slow exhale Dotcom let out through his nose, Jayde could just picture him pushing his glasses up to the front of his hair and rubbing his eyes deeply. She was quick to go on. "But I'm sure he was just feeling…you know…tired or whatever…" she lied, not to Dotcom, but to herself. He obviously wasn't fooled.

"So he's still…not talking, then…" he asked somewhat gravely as Jayde stood up from leaned down, tucking a pair of Joker's favorite cotton pajama pants into a low drawer. Before she could stop herself, her nose wrinkled and her eyes began to burn, just moments before both of her elbows met the top of the tall dresser.

"I just don't know what to do," she whimpered, her fingers from one hand raking into the front of her hair while the others held the phone to her ear. "He's just…being so mean and I just-…I just don't know what to do." From the other end of the phone, Jayde heard Dotcom sigh quietly.

"Oh, Jayde, honey…" he started bracingly. "I know its tough right now, sweetie, but it's gonna take time for him to…ya know, come around. I mean it's only been two days…" At this, he paused, clearly hoping Jayde was not about to get mad or offended, although she was currently the furthest thing from it…This was the most anyone had said to her in two days. "And he's being mean because that's his defense mechanism. He's never had to…deal with something like this so he doesn't know how else to be but mean and angry." He explained, hesitating again before he tsk-ed lightly. "You just have to be patient and help him without…helping him…does that make sense? Please tell me that makes sense…" With a slight hiccup Jayde laughed quietly, pushing her frizzy hair away from her face.

"Yeah, it does.." she answered, standing up from leaned over. "Thanks, Dotcom, I really don't know what I'd do without you."

With the heavier talking points out of the way, Jayde and Dotcom stayed on the phone for nearly an hour, chit chatting about this and that, about his latest love interest, about his friend he would be staying with New York and his new job as a sous chef, until he announced that he had to go. With promises to speak again the next day if time permitted, they hung up, leaving Jayde to set the phone down and sigh as her stomach gave an almighty growl. Putting away Joker's clothes and shoes had distracted her temporarily from her ever growing dehydration, and now, with nothing left to fill the void, she smacked her lips a few times, cringing at the rather foul, residual coffee taste in her mouth. She was almost positive the water from the tap would run brown at first with rust from the pipes and the thought of that was about as alluring as drinking a pint of gasoline. But with a start, she remembered that bag she had left Starbucks with and the bottle of water she had bought there.

Out in the living room, by the door, Jayde found the brown paper, handled bag that she could not remember bringing in but did not waste time to wonder if Joker had somehow found it in him to bring it in for her. She reached down into the bag and withdrew the tall, room temperature bottle before uncapping it and taking a long, refreshing drought from it, sighing as she brought it down from her lips. Turning to the room, her mind was reeling with oncoming curiosity, the tremors of which could be practically calculated like the warnings of an earthquake. Her eyes scanned the living room and distant kitchen, deciding to act on her nature and walk through the house, hating the silence, but relieved that finally, she was the only one there to experience it.

The kitchen table was exactly as she could remember it, the carvings and notches in the wood feeling rough and splintery against her fingers as she ran them along the heartbeat line someone had carved around the entire circular edge of it. She smiled when she reminisced upon the first night she had sat there and could clearly remember thinking how neat she found that. Her eyes traveled along the table until she found the two names 'Tre' and 'Ki', linked together by what appeared to be the symbol for infinity. She stared at this, willing herself not to start crying again. There was just no point. Tre was dead and Joker was grieving…This was just the natural process of life and crying was not doing anyone any good.

Moving on from the table, Jayde let herself pass through the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers to see what sort of cookware and plates Tre had left behind in his move from Chicago to Gotham. She was somewhat surprised to find a good amount of glasses, silverware, plates and bowls, pots and pans that he had left and could not help but smile slightly when she mentally thanked Tre. She allowed herself to imagine the sort of phone conversation Joker and Tre had gone through while he had been packing.

"No, you wont need any of that, just leave it. Dotcom's a chef, I made sure he's got everything he needs here."

"Ya sure, bruh? I make a mean grilled cheese…I can bring my flipper and my lil' grill-…"

"God, Tre…"

Of course, this only proved to bring on more tears so Jayde forced herself away from this area of the house, continuing on her way through until she found herself somehow standing in front of the only closed door in the entire home. Everything in her was screaming to go inside, have a look around, being that she had never been in there before, and she was positive there was bound to be an absolute treasure trove of pictures and even videos from Joker's past. A silly smile met her face when she imagined the sort of pictures she could find, pictures of the Joker before his scars, of Kieron, before the world caught him by the tail…but the threat of him returning while she was in there was so great, and even more daunting, the idea that he would absolutely lose his mind if he found her in the one room he had wordlessly forbidden.

But then again…He had only left a little over an hour ago and the Escalade was fairly loud. She could probably hear it before he came in and escape to the kitchen, where he would be less likely to get angry if he found her snooping…So with something that very closely mimicked confidence floating through her mind, Jayde reached out to wrap her fingers around the knob and turn it slowly, jumping slightly when the door gave a sudden squeak on it's hinges. The inside of the room seemed perfectly normal, albeit dusty as she stepped inside but something about the thought of Tre being dead or Joker suddenly bursting in through the front door or some ghost suddenly appearing above the bed threw a sudden sick, overwhelming feeling of panic into Jayde's chest. And with her heart racing, she tore from the room, slamming the door shut behind her as she practically ran across the house back to Joker's bedroom where she tripped hard over one bag she had failed to notice on the floor near the door.

She gasped as she caught herself on the bed, bringing her hand up to clutch the silver chain around her neck, turning to look down at the bag, only to blink when she noticed it was actually two bags. They were both stuffed to absolute capacity, looking large and thick enough to suffice as adequate speed bumps and with that lurking curiosity still ambling around inside of her, Jayde knelt down, reaching out for the one closest to her.

The zipper was done so taught, she had to practically sit on top of the thing to get it open, but as it finally made it's way along the bag, Jayde reached inside and pulled hard on the first thing she felt. With much tugging, the material she felt revealed itself to be a soft piece of purple fabric, which kept coming and coming until she stood up and pulled it completely from the bag…Joker's purple sheets and black comforter from the house in Gotham. Jayde groaned loudly at herself as she felt more tears threaten to overtake her, but this time she fought them back angrily. There was nothing emotional about finding Joker's sheets and blankets…The very same sheets on which she had lost her virginity…No, nothing even remotely emotional about such great memories from a silly piece of material…

After making the bed and climbing up onto it to arrange both her and Joker's pillows, Jayde plopped herself down onto the middle of it, immediately reaching out for the topmost pillow of Joker's bringing to her face to take a deep breath of his familiar, sexy scent. However, this of course, only worked to remind her that he was still gone, the time was nearly five in the evening and she had still not seen or heard from him since earlier that afternoon. For a split second, Jayde thought of using her phone to call him, but the idea of him looking down at the caller ID, seeing it was her and abruptly turning it off was enough to start those damn tears again so she moved on to something else…like wondering what she was going to eat for dinner…or even lunch for that matter…and what had happened to breakfast?

Without even looking, Jayde knew that there was no food in the house and was not even about to waste her time searching. But with the ever-growing paranoia that Joker had indeed abandoned her there, she was not all that hungry anyways…

Determinedly, Jayde rose from the bed, taking her phone out of her pocket, to dial the number to Joker's from memory, deciding that she really was going to call him and find out when or if he was coming back. She had a right to know whether or not she would need to start scrounging change for something to eat that night…But as her finger dialed the last '5', her thumb pressed down quickly on the red button, erasing the number from the screen before she tossed it onto the bed to wipe her hands on the back of her jeans. No, not yet…she thought calmingly to herself. He hadn't been gone that long and back in Gotham, she could remember Dotcom saying how he knew Joker to leave for hours and hours without a word, sometimes even days. And although the latter option sounded like borderline torture, Jayde figured she would give him at least another hour before she called. So after locating a towel, her shampoo, body wash and loufa sponge, she walked down into that bathroom, deciding to wait until she emerged and finished doing her hair…Then, if he hadn't called by that time, she would force herself to dial that number again and press the green button.

The shower did absolute wonders to help with that icky, gross feeling one acquires while traveling, but the entire time she was in there, Jayde could only continue to wonder where Joker had gone and whether he was coming back any time soon. She had left the door open to the bathroom in hopes of hearing that screen door opening or closing, but the further she got into her bathing, the deeper her heart sank until it was time for her to get out. Her phone had not rang, and she knew this from having listened intently for that as well, not that she had expected him to call…

A rather luscious amount of steam had filled the bathroom and as Jayde stepped onto the slick tile, wrapping a towel around herself, her hand raised to the small mirror above the sink, wiping away a bit of the condensation there to reveal her weary, yet clean face, staring back at her. So clearly she could remember the night Joker had told her the story of his scars and how they came to be and as she stood there, facing her own half-scarred complexion, she wondered if that was all he could think of in that room as well. Her imagination played her a vision of Tre wrestling a knife away from his best friend, doing everything in his power to keep him from doing more harm to his face, and she could clearly hear in her mind Joker screaming at him to go away, to leave him alone, to let him mutilate himself. And yet, Tre had not, he had apparently gone on until he got the knife away and could help the bleeding and screaming Kieron up off the floor. All of these thoughts shot goosebumps down her arms and legs so she left the bathroom with a shudder, hoping she would not be forced to think of this every time she needed to shower…

In the bedroom, after putting on some comfortable clothes and plaiting her hair into a long braid down her back, Jayde found herself staring down at her previously discarded phone, laying screen down on the bed before her. She had promised herself she would call him when she reemerged from the shower, but now that the task literally lay before her, she could not force her hand out to do the deed. It was just so likely that he would ignore the call or would not even have it on him or would-

The sound of the front door being unlocked launched Jayde's heart up into her throat as she dashed from the bedroom and out into the living room where she quickly imagined Joker rushing in and dipping her low to kiss her like he had done just weeks prior. This however, turned out to just be more wishful thinking as he instead entered the house, scowling, carrying numerous white plastic bags at his sides. Jayde's jaw went slightly slack as she watched him pass through the living room and to the kitchen table where he lifted the bags onto it to set them down. He glanced over as she drifted toward him carefully, clearing his throat as he nodded down at the bags.

"Start putting this stuff away," he instructed, walking past her as though she were a particularly lifelike statue on his way back to the door. "There's more."

Walking over to the table, Jayde pulled open one of the bags, only for her heart to leap when she noticed a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and several other food items and her eyebrows formed a crease between them as she frowned, looking over toward the open door…Had the Joker actually gone grocery shopping? A moment later, he reappeared in the doorway, holding several more bags, causing Jayde to jump and scramble to start putting things away, grabbing a bag to take it to the cabinets. Turning around again, Jayde paused as she watched him sit down at the table, flipping on a light above it to open a smaller, brown paper bag and upend it, dumping out a heaping amount of weed and three small cigarillo cigars. She blinked, forcing herself out of this as she walked back over, ignoring him as she opened another of the plastic bags, only to reveal a pre-ground bag of coffee, a box of filters another paper bag of sugar. Her heart skipped a beat; Joker did not drink coffee.

He must have noticed her hesitation and glanced up, but the moment he did this, she turned away from the table, walking over to put them away without a word. However, she returned a few seconds later, retrieving the next bag to do the same. This pattern went on for nearly ten minutes as Joker rolled his blunt, honestly excited to get outside and get lifted, start forcing himself to forget. But just as he finished the first one and decided to roll a second, just in case the one did not do it's job, he had to force himself not to look up immediately when Jayde shuffled over quietly in her over-long pajama pants. Her small, gentle hand rested on his shoulder as she leaned down and lightly placed a kiss on his cheek, right against the more symmetrical and curved of his two scars. He tried not to flinch and instead looked up slowly from his fingers to her face, once again finding it incredibly hard to make eye contact. However, she was smiling down at him understandingly.

"Thanks for getting me some coffee, Joker," she told him lightly, tightening her grip on his shoulder ever so slightly. He nodded once, putting his lips back together from where they had parted in slight surprise at her miniscule display of affection, but then looked back down at his fingers when she leaned down once more, placing yet another kiss on his cheek. "And thank you for not leaving me at Starbucks…" she then murmured against his temple, pursing her lips to leave one last gentle peck there before she stood up and walked away, smiling to herself. A heavy sigh escaped Joker as his knee started to bounce and his hand ran through the messy, tangled front of his hair. You're welcome…

With Jayde watching TV in his room, and the groceries put away, Joker stepped out onto the front porch after turning off the lights in the house but paused on the outer threshold of the door, his eyes falling down to the chair next to him. It's emptiness was overwhelming in the way it made his chest feel and the sudden tightness that spread across it. For a second, he considered going back inside and smoking in there, but then again, he and Tre had set down rules way back in the day and among those, was the 'no smoking in the house' rule…Just because one of them was…

Joker groaned as he plopped down into the seat closest to the door, too exhausted at that point to even consider sitting in his usual seat when he knew all he would do was sit and stare at the place his best friend usually sat. If he was being completely honest, the loneliness of sitting out there getting high by himself was enough…the thought of staring at an empty chair seemed like overkill.

He moved to light the blunt, igniting the lighter to rotate the end of the cigar within the flame, burning all the edges evenly before he brought it to his lips and inhaled deeply. At first, he coughed from the sudden smoke in his lungs but as it continued even after he had exhaled, he realized gradually that he was simply trying hard not to leave his brain time to admit his eyes were burning. But a moment later, he sniffed hard, shaking his head as he cleared his throat, choking those almost-tears back into nothingness, into nonexistence so he could actually enjoy his high and not sit there and sniffle like a some pathetic child… He had already done his five minutes of crying over Tre; there would be no more of that.

The paper and weed within the blunt burned in unison as Joker practically swallowed the smoke down, taking deep hit after deep hit until his entire body tingled and his eyes felt heavy, fuzzy and warm. The streetlights were already on and the sun had gone down, leaving the familiar street before him doused in shadows and lines. A few people moved along the sidewalk about a block down and as much as Joker would have liked to gotten up, stalked down the street behind them and do a little hunting, he could not even manage the thought of standing up at that point and probably could not have walked very far if he had tried. He had not slept well, if at all the previous night and could not say he was surprised to be feeling this exhausted. The weed was most definitely not helping this overpowering feeling of drowsiness so he reached out to the right to put the blunt out in the ashtray, but paused, blinking slowly when he noticed he had reached in the wrong direction and was now holding the cigar out in the air beside him, clearly unaccustomed to sitting on this side of the table…This was usually where Tre sat.

With another half-groan, half-cough, Joker transferred the blunt to his other hand and reached to the left, mushing the cherry down into the glass ashtray before he stood up and abruptly left the porch, suddenly feeling as though he did not want to be there anymore.

Inside the house, Joker felt his stomach growl angrily at him, having not eaten anything for nearly two full days but he once again ignored it and continued on his way to his bedroom after locking the door. The blue glow from the TV illuminated the room and the bed within it, throwing vague light onto the folded black comforter at the foot of it and the dark purple sheets beneath which Jayde was already laying, curled up on her side as she slept. She was facing the empty half of the bed, clearly having been waiting for him to join her and Joker rolled his eyes as he stepped out of his jeans and shrugged out of his shirt as quietly as possible, hoping desperately to keep her asleep. She would be expecting him to kiss her or say goodnight or something equally as obnoxious and he was honestly feeling just a bit too high for that…or something equally as disabling.

But as he lay down just next to her, sighing quietly through his nose, he turned onto his side as gently as possible, folding his arms across his bare chest before he closed his eyes. He hoped beyond his wildest dreams sleep would find him quickly this time, instead of hovering just out of reach like it had the previous two nights and as his brain instantly began to float in and out of consciousness, Joker took a deep breath in, only to exhale heavily a second later when a small hand came to rest gently against his back. A set of lips followed suit, pursing to leave a kiss just beside her fingers. Joker's eyes slid open.

"Good night," she whispered from behind him.

He did not agree with her, so he did not answer.

A/N: Just a warning. This story is going to be fairly heavy compared to the two before it, but it WILL get better. As we all know, it has to get worse before it can get better. I appreciate reviews to the highest degree, and I ask, if you will be following this story, that you take a few seconds of your time to give me your thoughts. So leave me your love/hate if you want the next chapter in a timely manner. -QoM