A/N: Hey guys! I'm so amazed by the response I had from the first chap. And I'm so excited about this story. I really hope you all enjoy it. I'm trying my best here to be true to the characters and at the same time go in a different path with the story than the show.
Chapter 02
(before episode S03E02 started)
The last week had been surprisingly good for Jay. He was glad Erin had let him in when he first knocked on Voight's door a couple of days after his kidnapping and was even happier that she had slept for almost four hours before he left her late in the afternoon after making sure she had a roast beef sandwich for dinner.
But when the next day came and he got ready to visit her again he wasn't so sure he would have the same welcoming. Truthfully, he had expected Erin to try to avoid him after letting him take care of her for the afternoon. But instead when she opened the door she looked a little better. Her hair was down and it was obvious she had just got out of the shower. The dark circles under her eyes weren't so dark anymore and the easy with which she opened the door for him and invited him inside surprised him. Erin's behavior was a pleasant surprise however Voight's reaction was nothing less than shocking.
The Sargent was apparently waiting for him in the kitchen when Jay arriver. Though Voight claimed he was just having a late breakfast Jay really doubted that. Voight had been almost… nice to Jay and it had freaked him out to be honest. Voight had not only acknowledged Jay's presence but also offered coffee and made an attempt to thank him for bringing food and taking care of Erin the day before without actually saying 'thank you'. All the while Erin watched the odd exchange from her spot against the kitchen wall with a half smirk on her face, taking pleasure on Jay's discomfort.
That afternoon was spent watching cartoons and movies on the couch. Every few hours he would offer to make her a snack and whenever he saw her yawning he would start stroking her hair until she fell asleep. She had nightmares half of the time but refused to talk about them and considering how far they had come he felt it would be better not to push and let her come to him when she was ready.
The next few days were just the same. She had been sick a few times but it had stopped by Thursday. Now she could handle real food and not just soup, crackers and sandwiches. It was a relief for him to see her getting better so quickly; sleeping more, gaining weight, almost no chills or cold sweats anymore. He had worried it would take longer for her to get better and go back to work. Of course he wanted her to take as long as she needed but he would rather have her close to him during her recovery to keep an eye on her so he was very glad they had both been released on Friday from medical leave.
Monday couldn't come soon enough and that morning when he left home to go back to work he couldn't be more excited about getting into their first new case together. However, the excitement was short lived when they found the case involved a dead boy in a fridge.
Voight had sent them to the crime scene and it was oddly satisfying to see Erin look at him with a pointed look and a short "I'll drive" as she went down the stairs not waiting to see if he was following her.
He openly watched her from the passenger sit as she drove them until she became uncomfortable and looked back at him. They hadn't said anything since getting in the car and he needed to approach the subject before they got to the scene, he just wasn't sure how to do it.
After another minute she rolled her eyes at him and asked, "What?"
"So, how are you doing?"
She looked at him with a frown and shrugged, "Fine." He kept watching her and she rolled her eyes again, "I've been released from medical leave, you know?"
He ran a hand through his hair trying to look for the right words, "I do know that. But you've been through a lot and this is our first case in a month so I need to ask if you really are good."
She stopped on a red light and turned to give him her full attention. "I'm good. I may be a little rusty but I'm good and I've got your back. You don't have to worry about that," she told him seriously.
"I don't. I know you have my back no matter what. I just want to be sure your head is in the game and that you know you can come to me for anything. If it's too much or you feel like you need a break just tell me. I'm here for you."
She nodded and went back to driving as soon as the light turned green, "I'll keep that in mind."
S03 E02:
Voight: Hey. Looking for you.
Jay: You have a way to saying that word that it never sounds like good news.
Voight: Regarding you and Lindsay. I don't know which your relationship status is and I don't care. But I need to know someone's got her back 24 hours a day.
Jay: Yeah. I… Always.
Will: So Lindsay is back just (snaps his fingers) like that.
Jay: No, not (snaps his fingers) like that.
Will: What is it like?
Jay: I don't know. (he shrugs and opens his arms) I don't know what hand gesture to make. She is back. And it's good. And we'll see what that means for me. And for both of us.
The case had been a rough one. He knew it always took a toll on Erin when it involved kids and it was just the same for him. When they closed the case he couldn't refuse Will's invitation to have a beer at Molly's. Now he wasn't so sure if it had been such a good idea.
He had been able to avoid thinking about Voight's weird blessing until Will had asked if Erin was back 'just like that'. He still wasn't sure what was going on and he had no idea how to answer Will. Erin was back 'just like that' as Will had so elegantly put but at the same time it didn't feel like it was 'just like that' if it made any sense.
Nadia's death had done something to Erin that Jay could have never foreseen. He knew they were close and that Erin saw a lot of herself in Nadia. They were best friends and she felt protective of Nadia like a sister. He saw Nadia like that too; she had been the only who knew about their relationship from the very beginning and actually encouraged it. Jay had been devastated by Nadia's death and specially how it happened but he had been able to deal with it. Erin on the other hand felt like she was personally responsible for what had happened, like she had failed Nadia and was was guilty of everything that Yates had done to her.
After Nadia's death everything just got out of control. He could see Erin slipping but he could do nothing about it. He tried to be there for her as her partner but she just wouldn't let him. He reached out after she turned in her badge, called insistently but she just wouldn't answer. He asked Mouse to ping her phone and showed up wherever she was just to check if she was okay but it seemed the more he tried the more she distanced herself. It was like she was hell bent on destroying herself and no one could get to her.
But then everything changed when he was kidnapped; or at least that's what he heard. He had seen her the morning of the kidnapping and she had just brushed him off like he meant nothing to her, obviously still drunk or maybe high. But the next day she was there to rescue him like she hadn't stopped being his partner for even a minute. It should be confusing as hell but it somehow made sense. She was his partner and it went deeper than whatever was going on in their personal lives. It was just like Will's jab about her being back "just like that"; it made no sense at all but it still made sense to him.
All he knew was that she was back and that was what he wanted the most. But was she ready for a relationship? Did she even want one? He rubbed his forehead; just thinking about it gave him a headache.
When he got home from Molly's he took of his clothes as he walked to his room and laid in bed completely exhausted. He wanted to talk to her, to let her know that she could still talk to him. So against his better judgment he ignored the bedside alarm that told him it was too late and called her anyway.
"Hey," she answered the phone sleepily and he felt guilty about waking her up. Wen he remained quiet she asked again, more alert, "Hey. You okay?"
"Yeah. Just wanted to check on you. The case was a rough one today and… I don't know. We used to hang out after cases like this. I missed that."
"Yeah, me too. You good?"
"Yeah. I had a beer with Will. It helped some."
"I so wish I could have a beer. But I guess I should wait some more."
He was glad she wasn't rushing things, "When you think you're ready I'd love to buy you a beer."
She didn't comment on it, just stayed silent for a long moment and he wondered if he had said the wrong thing but before he could question it she broke the silence, "So… I've heard a funny story today."
"Really? Feel like sharing?"
"I've heard you had an interesting conversation with Voight."
He closed his eyes not sure what to say, "To be honest he did most of the talking." When she didn't say anything he went on, "So, who told you?"
She scoffed, "Come on! Giving you his blessing to have your way with me in the bull pen? It wasn't his smartest choice. Then again maybe that's why he did it," she paused. "Anyway people heard it. I was the gossip of the day in the locker room. By the way, there is an uniform who has a huge crush on you. I swear that district is worse than high school when it comes to gossip."
Her rant let him know she was nervous about the subject and even though it would be so easy to tease her and it would have been fine a few months ago he thought it better to just be honest and ask, "How do you feel about that?"
She took a moment, "I don't know. She's kinda cute but I'm not sure she is your type. Too bubbly. But maybe you'd go for that."
"Don't play dumb; it doesn't suit you."
She sighed, "What do you want me to say, Jay?"
"The truth."
"The truth," she repeated. "The truth is that sure as hell you deserve better than an addicted who put you through hell and broke your heart while you tried to help her. I'm damaged goods and you'd be better off with some bubbly uniform who probably never even smoked pot." She sighed, "The truth is that I'm still recovering and I can't give you what you want right now even if I wanted."
"Okay," he said simply.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. You're not ready to talk about this. So we can get back to it when you're ready."
She scoffed, "Did you even hear what I said?"
"Yeah, you said some shit about not being good enough and mentioned some bubbly girl before saying you're not ready. So, I'll wait until your ready to talk about it and then we'll see."
She huffed, "And they say I'm stubborn. They have no idea what you are like."
He just ignored her and changed the subject, "'So, how is it like to live with Voight?"
She let him get away with it, "Oh, you know, pure joy. What girl doesn't feel special to be told to pee in a cup every few days to prove she's clean?"
"He makes you take drug tests?"
He could imagine her shrugging as she took a moment to answer, "Yeah, one of his rules to let me back in Intelligence."
"What other rules are there?" he asked curiously. She had told him it was mandatory she live with Voight until he felt she was ready to go back to her apartment but other than that she hadn't mentioned any other rules.
"Nothing major, I guess. Living with him, drug tests… and it's not in fine printing but I kinda have a curfew," she ended embarrassed.
He chuckled, "You're joking?" When she didn't answer he couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Man, he's a strict dad."
"You have no idea. High school was not fun having Voight as a father figure," she paused and he knew she was pondering if she should continue or not, "But I guess he was better than the other option."
Jay cleared his throat, "So, what's the deal with your dad? I mean, you're biological father."
"Let's not go there," she said softly before he heard her fake a yawn in a clear show that the conversation was over. "I'm tired. I should go back to sleep."
He relented, "Sure. See you tomorrow."
"Jay… thanks for checking on me."
"Always," he told her honestly.
A/N: Please review and let me now what you think!
