It would take poor now-Planetary Governor Tiber a solid few days to recover his mind and accept reality that something had gone wrong. Nevertheless, the man decided to hatch a plan on what to do: do the original plan. Surely that if he just waited a while, new messages from Holy Terra would say that there was botched orders and he'd be transferred. In that time he'd just find some upstart nobles or whatever and just have them do all the work while he sorted this mess out.
Of course as soon as Tiber came up with this plan, he realized its fatal flaw: this was the Administorum he was relying on. The sole organization in the Imperium that could cause a civil war on a planet due to a lack of filing space and had paperwork several thousand years late. He remembered fondly of the time one of his commanders received a message that dated to the time of his grandfather. Ironically enough it was the man's grandfather who sent it to his son. And people say that time is convoluted in the warp; Tiber figured that the depths of the Administorum had a similar time-bending effect some how.
But for now, Urbino still expected its new overlord to do something than scream all day in the confines of his room. It didn't take an expert to say that Tiber's meltdown wasn't exactly the most positive way to leave a good first impression, and now the aftermath was something the new planetary governor would have to figure out himself as well as all the other things.
The man in red who originally was to greet Tiber was known as Enelo Karine VVI, head of the aptly named House Karine who owned a good chunk of land on the planet including the field where Tiber had came down from the Herald of Dawn. Enelo had been instrumental thus far to Tiber's efforts, letting him stay in one of his summer estates as his temporary residence and providing some of his personal retinue to guard the newcomer. But more importantly, he was the one who was giving Tiber all of the information about the planet.
From what Enelo told him and whatever tomes and books he could find, Tiber pieced together that Urbino was a very modest place to put it politely, internal power struggles between the nobles and lords left a very fractured populace with nomadic, heretical tribes only making matters worse. At one point Urbino had held an important place in the local systems, but various planets from nearby planets had managed to wrangle away all of the support and wealth the system had, making the Urbino System poorer and poorer with each passing generation for a solid five thousand years.
Going off of Imperial records and geological scans, it seemed that Urbino itself had a vast amount of mineral wealth yet to be exploited, its current state of poverty and fractured unity and power struggles prevented the planet from mining it. The state of technology was one that was somewhere between the high and late middle ages minus the gunpowder. Seemed that no one managed to blow themselves up with an elixir of life just yet.
Tiber would have to first unify the planet in some way in order for his plan to work. Hard to image a state running smoothly when everyone in it wants everyone else dead. Besides, appearing as the "Unifier of Urbino" surely had some very good press value. Of course, that would also mean more work for him and him actually having to do work, most of which he didn't know how to do.
The Planetary Governor's Guide to Planetary Governance suggested the appointment of local experts or close friends to assist in running an administration. Problem was that outside of Enelo (who Tiber didn't actually know all too well really), Tiber didn't know anyone. He only had the flimsiest of grasps on the culture and people as well. For all he knew, some "expert" in fertilizer farming could just be some homeless bum who slept in manure!
He could have Enelo get some people to help him, but Tiber wasn't stupid. The lord, for as nice as he was, would most likely put his own friends into power and probably lead some coup against Tiber or just have such a massive influence and power over him. Was it paranoia? Yes, but a life time in the Imperial Guard and being constantly on the prowl for hidden heretics and genestealers tends to do that to people. Besides, working with some of the more arrogant and nasty regiments kept Tiber on his toes, especially if said regiment was full of some "noble" bluebloods or something.
His only remaining option was to contact his squadmates given they were the only people Tiber trusted. Translated into blunt terms: Tiber prayed that the mish-mashed jackasses he worked with before were still alive and knew more about certain select topics than he did because emperor-forbids he would have to teach farmers how to use cotton gin or an Easy-Bake Flamer.
"This is going to be a fucking mess." The planetary governor sighed as he looked at the paperwork in front of him, mostly requisition orders for machinery, supplies and basically everything in the Imperium had and Urbion had a mysterious lack of. The lack of a plumbing system was the most jarring of the mysterious lackings of the planet, Tiber was glad that he wasn't the one clearing out the chamber pots or witnessing the process.
"Well," Enelo tried to think of something positive to cheer up his new liege as he poured over the books along the walls of the study's library, "At least thou hath a planet in thy personal possession. Many a men would kill and hath killed for such high an honor such as that."
"Yeah, and all of the inner workings and other bullshit of it too."
"Perhaps thou would entertain the notion of passing your duties to anothe-"
*Click*
"Hell no." Tiber pulled out his laspistol and turned off the safety, "Don't play those kinds of games with me Enelo, I'm not one of the idiots in pompous flums who call themselves 'lords' on this planet."
The native lord sighed and put back the large encyclopedia he quickly held up as a shield. As two-faced as he was, Tiber couldn't help but find it funny how honest Enelo was about wanting his position. It was equally surprising that he hadn't been killed in his sleep yet by him. Either that Enelo was the stupidest mustached potato in red on Urbino or that he had some plan that Tzeentch would wonder what the hell was going on.
"Doth thou formulated a plan in which to follow, sir?" Enelo sat in a chair and gracefully sipped a warm cup of xerigium (an herb native to Urbino) tea that a servant just wheeled in on a fine silver cart, "Also, I beseech thou to indulge thyself in some of this delightful native tea."
"Thanks but no thanks, I drink coffee." Tiber continued to shuffle around papers before looking up at Enelo's confused face, clearly unaware of the Emperor's holy grounded go-go juice, "Its a black drink you make from grinding up beans and-"
"So thou drinketh bean stew on a regular basis?"
"No, it's much thinner than a stew-"
"So thou drinketh a cup of bean broth?"
"No, it's not soup, it's more like tea with-"
"So thou drinketh a paste of liquid bean?"
"No, you also add milk and sometimes something sweet."
"So thou drinketh a paste of liquid bean with cow excretion and put the mixture into a beehive to sweeten? Pardon me for inquiring, but who'd drinketh such a dangerous and tasteless concoction? What if thou discovered a bee in thou's drink!"
"No... please... for the love of the Emperor... please just shut up. You're making coffee sound like some unholy daemonic brew." Tiber's hand met his face as he couldn't believe how hard it was to explain the concept of coffee to this man. The sergeant could feel his blood pressure rising as well as his rage. He wondered if anyone ever turned to Khorne because they had to explain something to a living, pompous brick wall.
"Sounds like a such an unrefined broth to me." Enelo muttered as he enjoyed another long sip of xerigium tea.
Ignoring the sass, Tiber cleared his throat and spoke with a voice that made him sound competent at his new job:
"My current plan is to requisition offworld supplies and people to assist in the reunification of Urbino. I hope that my title now carries enough weight that I can get my old regiment station here it not some of my old squad or company here, I'm sure they'd appreciate it greatly. If one of the Enginseers could come along, that would be great as well.
I supposed I should also find places of residences for them, although some of them would be more than happy to sleep in a tree or in a barn I guess. Which reminds me I still have to commission a personal fortress estate once this who unification thing is done... ahh, fuck it, I'll just do it sometime earlier. But first thing is first, I need to go an build an army and eventually turn it into a proper Guard unit... Enelo, would you happen to know anyone with such a qualification as to train an army capable of defending a planet? Or attacking one for that matter."
"I fear that I dare say I know not of any normal man with such talent who would accept such a task." Enelo shrugged, "All those who art capable hath been snatch'd by lords and nobles for their own personal retinues."
Tiber sunk into his chair and sighed, he had a feeling things would only continuously fuck up from here on out and it was barely a week into his leadership. He could lead a squad of ten to battle no problem, but leading a planet of tens of thousands of millions was a whole other squig rodeo. At least his own military experience would be of use and once some people from the 603rd Cadian got here, that's be even more help.
"Oi! Afroxz!" Zorgg the excited gretchen ran down the beaten paths of the Ork camp towards his boss, "Didya 'ear et? Big boss "Eadhakka sad his mioghty WAAGHHHH be a startin' soon! Mhm, etz gonna star- GHEK!"
Afroxz clearly wasn't amused by the grot's reference of "'Eadhakka" being the leader of the WAGHHH and made the green midget pay for it with his head. He chewed on it slowly, savoring the crunch and the warm blood that spilled from it as it dribbled down his chin, "Da only WAGHHH boss 'round 'ere is me. Zogging 'Eadhakka dun know howda getta inna gud 'n propa scrapping if he tried."
Flanked by his own green followers, Afrox menacingly made his way towards the tent of 'Eadhakka, he'll show him how a real Ork fights and then he'll lead their WAGHHH. And it'd be the best zogging WAGHHH any of the boyz will ever get themselves into, ever.
