Chapter 2

Tested

Snape's head throbbed. His body was stiff and his joints ached from being so long on the cold floor. He tried to open his eyes and when he couldn't, he panicked, wondering what they'd done to take away his sight. Even the Conjunctivitus Curse only caused irritation - it didn't blind. The stab of pain that shot through his right arm as he reached up reminded him vividly that it was broken. Using his left hand he soon figured out that the pus from the boils mixed with the blood from the cuts had dried and crusted over his eyes. He worked with his fingers for several minutes to gouge at the mess and clear his vision. When he could finally see, he was staring directly at Nagini.

With a start he jumped back and then wished he hadn't. Everything hurt. The boils, stings, and fiery carvings still covered his body although the pain was fading. Without a potion, it would take a while for the effects of the Cruciatus Cruse to diminish but it was something he'd previously experienced. Nagini raised her head and flicked her tongue as she sniffed him. Snape was sure she was testing to see if he'd make a good meal. He didn't like that snake.

As Snape pushed down on the floor to move away from the glistening fangs weaving in front of his face, he put his left hand in something sticky. When he pulled it up to examine it he saw that it was covered in blood. Nagini slid towards him and Snape wondered if she was attracted by his scent or the massive amount of blood…his blood…that surrounded him on the floor and on his robes.

The snake hissed and Severus thought she was coming after him. Instead, she slithered away and must have gone to tell the Dark Lord that he'd regained consciousness because the vile man entered the room less than a minute later.

"Well, well," Lord Voldemort said as he took his seat in the armchair in front of Snape, "you've finally rejoined my party. Too bad all the others have left."

Actually, Severus was glad to hear they were gone. At least there weren't a half-dozen here to torture him. "I live only to serve you, Master." He kept his eyes on the floor.

"Yes, you do," Voldemort stated firmly.

"Master, how…" he croaked. His mouth was dry, his lips were cracked, his throat was sore and it was hard to speak. "How long…?" Snape looked up.

"How long has it been since I've been reborn?" Lord Voldemort extended his bony hands into the firelight, admiring the long skeletal white fingers. He ran one hand across his hairless scalp, felt his eyes and the flat slits that were his nose. His thin mouth smiled at the tactile sensations he'd missed for so long. "Almost twenty-four hours."

Severus wanted to scream at the arrogance of the man but realized that in his mind, the whole world revolved around him. No matter, he knew now that he'd been out for several hours but less than a day. The Dark Lord raised his wand and Snape shuddered wondering what was coming next – wondered if this was why he'd been kept alive – to be tortured again.

Why was he alive? His robes were slashed to pieces and encrusted with dried blood. He examined his chest and legs through the blood-soaked tears in the fabric and found smooth, unblemished skin. After Lucius's attack, Severus knew he should be dead. Obviously he'd been healed before it was too late. He wondered how. Few knew the healing charm for the Sectumsempra Curse. He wondered why – why had the Dark Lord kept him alive?

Lord Voldemort conjured a couch opposite his chair. "Sit."

Slipping his right arm into the front of his robes in an attempt to support it, Snape rolled onto his stomach, put his left hand on the floor and tried to push up. He couldn't lift himself at all. Scooting over next to the couch he grabbed its arm and tried to pull himself up. He got about a foot off the floor before he lost his grip and fell onto his backside. He broke out in a cold sweat as he sat there panting. Every muscle, nerve, and bone in his body screamed in agony. After catching his breath, he slid around so his back was against the couch and tried to push off with his legs to lift his body onto the seat. He got up about six inches before his feet slipped out from under him and he hit the floor, hard. He bit down on his tongue to keep from screaming. As he caught his breath, he didn't try to get up again. He lowered his eyes and whispered, "My Lord, I am sitting."

For a moment Lord Voldemort scowled then threw his head back and laughed in his high, cold voice. "You have cheek, Severus. Wormtail!" he shouted. "Get in here and make yourself useful."

The small man rushed into the room. "My Lord, how may I serve you?"

"Bring the potion, water and firewhisky."

Bowing his head, Wormtail spoke in a rush, "Yes, my Lord; right away, my Lord." He scurried from the room.

Lord Voldemort pointed his wand at Snape, who tensed, closed his eyes and wondered what else he was going to have to endure for that Gryffindor brat. Hearing the Dark Lord cast Mobilicorpus Severus opened his eyes in surprise. With unexpected gentleness, he was lifted and placed on the couch. He adjusted his right arm attempting to make it rest comfortably. Of all his injuries, the accidental breaking of the three major bones in his arm was by far the worst.

The Cruciatus Curse he'd expected from Voldemort. It was how one was frequently greeted even if he wasn't unhappy with you. Except for Lucius, the Death Eaters hadn't hit him with anything different than what students did to each other. The curses were irritating, but nothing that was permanent or life threatening. He was very weak, however.

The only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. Severus wished he could mend his arm or at least do a charm that would mask the pain; but he dare not do any magic. He was still at the Dark Lord's mercy and it wouldn't pay to anger him again. Snape rubbed his hand along his nose and cheek. He felt dried blood although the deep lacerations were gone.

"When I desire you dead, you will die," Voldemort's eyes followed Snape's explorations of his injuries, "perhaps by my hand; perhaps by another's. The time and place of your death will be my choice."

Snape lowered his hand to his lap but kept eye contact. "Yes, Master."

"Lucius got carried away. He was punished." With great effort, Severus didn't smile as the Dark Lord continued to speak. "Pain is good for you – it makes you strong. I don't want you dead, at least not yet. You can perhaps still be useful to me so I kept you from bleeding to death and healed the deep cuts. I left the rest of your wounds as a reminder of the power of your Lord and Master."

It galled him to bow down to this monster, but it was the roll he'd taken on many years ago. No one had forced him to study the Dark Arts. No one had forced him to become a Death Eater. No one had forced him to reveal the prophecy. No one had forced him to play a role in the murder of James and Lily Potter. But he had. Now, all he wanted was for Lord Voldemort to be gone and if that meant being subservient to a vicious, sadistic, racist tyrant he would do it. "Yes, my Lord. You are merciful to your most humble servant."

When Wormtail returned he stood with eyes downcast beside the Dark Lord's chair. Taking one of the goblets, Voldemort motioned at the tray, "That's a Blood-Replenishing Potion. You need it after all the blood you lost."

As the little man presented the drinks, Snape saw the word 'coward' burned into Wormtail's forehead. Snape's lip curled as he stared pointedly at the brand. Wormtail turned away. Though worried about what might really be in the potion Severus knew better than to sniff at it as that would show distrust. He downed it and two goblets of water before taking a firewhisky. He wished he had the other potions that would counteract the effects of the curses he'd endured. For now however, the water and liquor was what he had and it had to suffice.

Several seconds passed before Voldemort spoke. "You still have feelings for the dead Mudblood."

Snape's head snapped around to face the Dark Lord and Severus saw the other's lip curled in disgust. Had he let too much of himself show through the Occlumency shield he'd erected? He'd thought of Lily when he was certain he was dying. It all made sense now. Lucius hadn't lost control; he had cast the Sectumsempra Curse on the Dark Lord's orders. By making Severus think he had nothing to lose Voldemort had planned to trick him into revealing his true allegiance.

It had been a subtle attack, much better than using Veritaserum or any other potion that could be counteracted with skill or an antidote taken beforehand. It was also much more effective than torture which the Dark Lord knew Severus could resist. He realized he had been foolish; still he must not have revealed anything other than his feelings for Lily before he passed out or he wouldn't be having this conversation.

"All those years ago you pleaded with me to save her." Voldemort bared his teeth in a ghoulish parody of a grin.

"Master, I…" Severus began.

"Don't try to deny it! I saw it in your mind," Voldemort snapped. "I never understood why you lusted after her but a man's carnal needs can overcome his better judgment," he grinned lasciviously. "For you – my loyal servant – I gave her a chance; I told her to stand aside so I could kill the boy." Voldemort shook his head. "She was only a woman. There are plenty of them out there of purer blood, more worthy of you. You can take another whenever you feel the urge."

"Yes, Master." Dumbledore is right, Snape thought, the Dark Lord doesn't understand love. Sitting across from the man who'd murdered Lily, the desire to blast him into oblivion was strong. Severus didn't understand why Dumbledore had been so emphatic that Snape never attempt to kill Lord Voldemort even if the opportunity arose.

"You claim you delayed answering my call out of loyalty to me, not because you've gone over to the other side?" Voldemort sat back and placed both hands on the arms of the chair.

"Yes, Master." The Dark Lord's stare was so intense that Snape felt like an insect impaled upon a pin. "I needed Dumbledore to think I was returning to you on his orders. Because he still trusts me, I'll be able to remain at Hogwarts as your spy." Severus felt his gorge rise as he added with emphasis on the middle word, "Your loyal spy."

"Are you loyal to me?" Voldemort demanded as he leaned forward closing the distance between himself and Snape. "Wormtail has told me of the things that happened after my unexpected exodus from the mortal world. He described in great detail the testimony Dumbledore gave during your trial where, under oath, he affirmed that you had betrayed me and became his spy. Dumbledore demonstrated his complete faith in you when he said, 'He is now no more a Death Eater than I am'." Voldemort smirked at the surprised expression on his minion's face. "So you thought because the proceedings were closed to the general public that I wouldn't hear the details? Perhaps you forgot that Wormtail lived with those blood traitors for years?"

At mention of his name, the little man hovering across the room squeaked but neither of the others paid him any attention.

"No Master! I'm not surprised because you know about the trial or Dumbledore's trust in me." Snape bowed his head and if he'd been able he would have dropped to his knees. "Forgive my impertinence, Master, I'm surprised because you question my actions." Even with downturned eyes, Snape could see the Dark Lord tense. As he wondered if he'd soon be struck with another curse – or worse – Snape continued quickly. "You sent me to Dumbledore with instructions to appear to join his side giving him whatever reason I felt would best convince him."

"Yes, and you told me he believed that your love of the Mudblood was enough to cause you to betray me." Voldemort snorted, "The fool believes love is the most powerful force – more powerful than my magic – so of course he would believe your story. But after I saw the…love…" Voldemort spat the word as something vile, "…for that woman in your mind I have doubts; I wonder if you did become his spy; I worry that you are still his spy."

This is it, Snape thought, I live or die in the next few minutes. "Master," Severus looked up and spoke quietly, "I can't hide my love of Lily from you, nor would I try. It is a failing I could not – cannot – seem to overcome. I also knew it was the most convincing story I could tell Dumbledore as my reason for coming to him. I spun him a tale of the deepest remorse for my involvement in targeting Lily's child and he believes me unequivocally."

"What am I to do with you Severus?" Voldemort shook his head and with the ends of his wand in both hands, twirled it. "You say that you play your part so well you've convinced Dumbledore of your loyalty. I grudgingly acknowledge he is one of the greatest wizards – not someone easily fooled. How can I know you're not playing a part to deceive me?" For several seconds Lord Voldemort delved into Snape's mind. "I don't wish to lose a valuable asset. You can be such a useful tool in the enemy camp – if you're really faithful to me."

"I am Master," Snape said with as much sincerity as he could muster. "I came to you as a young man with hopes to achieve great things. I was still very young when you vanished and quite frankly, I was lost and alone. I believed you were finished and I made no attempt to find you." He shook his head. "I'm not proud of my lack of faith in your greatness; in your ability to cheat death."

"It wasn't only you," the Dark Lord spat. "Those that weren't in Azkaban either went into hiding or denied their loyalty to me. I should kill the lot of you." He jerked his wand up and pointed it at Snape. "Of course, if I did that, I'd have very few followers," with a glance towards Wormtail, Voldemort lowered his wand, "and those that would be left are not the most intelligent of my Death Eaters."

With a raised eyebrow, Snape nodded in agreement. "Now that you're back, my Lord, I crave the power and influence that I've been denied all these years."

"Ah, yes," Voldemort said silkily. "I see that you recognize the great truth that Dumbledore never has – that there is no good or evil, only power and those who are too weak to use it." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "That's quite the Slytherin attitude you have there."

"Indeed," Severus drawled with the hint of a smirk. "That one of the most powerful wizards of our time gave testimony that I was no longer a Death Eater is simply proof that I succeeded in doing as you commanded, Master. He never knew – still doesn't know – that I came to him on your orders." Even though it infuriated him, Snape bowed his head knowing Voldemort expected the demonstration of respect.

"Perhaps," Voldemort hissed as he pointed his wand, "or maybe you really did join his Order. Look at me!" When Snape complied, Voldemort cast "Legilimens." After several minutes of scrutiny, Voldemort dropped his wand seemingly satisfied at what he'd read. "You may be correct that your staying at Hogwarts isn't as disloyal as some of the others."

Pleased that the projection of his disgust at Karkaroff's whimpering cowardice during the months the Dark Mark had been growing stronger and his contempt for Lucius' distortion of his true role as a Death Eater had diverted further probing of his mind, Snape sipped his firewhisky. While not as good as a pain reliving potion, it was dulling the ache in his arm.

"Why did you stay at Hogwarts after you believed me done for? Wormtail has told me how you conduct your classes." Voldemort's cold, shrill laugh came out as a high-pitched cackle. "You certainly don't like teaching."

"I hate it," Snape spat with real vehemence, "but who was going to hire an ex Death Eater? I was twenty-one years old with no employment prospects. Dumbledore offered me a permanent position that included room and board. His protection kept me out of prison; it was most convenient and I used it." Snape's voice dropped to a whisper. "It was a comfortable job that I preferred to a stint in Azkaban."

"So," Voldemort asked, "are you simply a coward – no different from our rat friend over there? It seems that you stayed under Dumbledore's protection because it was the safe path."

Tamping down his anger with great effort, keeping his face impassive and his breathing even, Snape nodded. "My Lord, because I have stayed by Dumbledore's side, I have fourteen years of information on the man that I can give you. I also have knowledge about Harry Potter. There is no one else close to you who is as valuable."

"And that," Voldemort leaned back and steepled his thin, white fingers together, "is both a blessing and a curse. How can I trust someone who has been under the thrall of Dumbledore for so long?"

"My Lord," Severus put his goblet on the couch, grasped his broken right arm with his left, and slid off the couch onto his bum with a thud. The jolt of pain throughout his whole right side caused his breath to catch and his eyes to close momentarily. Leaning forward he was barely able to grasp the hem of Voldemort's robe with his left hand and pull it to his mouth where he kissed it. "I live to serve you, my Lord." Seconds passed in the silent room filled only with the Snape's panting as he tried to tamp down the agony he felt throughout his body.

The boney hand of Lord Voldemort reached down to touch the dark head of the man on the floor. "You are a slippery one, Severus. I didn't know if I could trust you when I was at Hogwarts three years ago with Quirrell. I was too frail to take a chance because if you were Dumbledore's stooge, it could have ended badly for me."

"Had I known it was you, Master..." Severus struggled to meet the vile face above him. With as much enthusiasm as he could manage through his pain he continued, "…and not that greedy and untrustworthy Quirrell who was after the Philosopher's Stone, I would have assisted you." Snape felt the Dark Lord enter his mind. Severus pushed forward all the thoughts of working with Dumbledore against the former Dark Arts teacher that he needed Voldemort to see.

"Of that, I now have no doubt. You're sure Dumbledore trusts you?" Voldemort asked. "He still thinks you're loyal to the Order?"

"Yes, my Lord. I've given him no reason to question my loyalty." Severus shifted to try to relieve the pressure on the lesions, lacerations, and stings on his body but gave it up as a lost cause. "As I said earlier, my return to you upon…" Snape smirked and stressed the next word, "…his order ensured that I can remain at Hogwarts as your spy."

"I'm very pleased that you stayed at your post," the Dark Lord again levitated Snape onto the couch, "and were thinking about my victory instead of yourself. Some of my Death Eaters only think of the riches or power they will gain, and how they can avoid punishment. If I had dozens like you I'd be victorious much sooner."

"When the Dark Mark started growing stronger," Severus nodded towards his left arm, "I was certain you were about to return. I began to think about what I wanted to do, to plan my next move. There was never any doubt I'd rejoin to the greatest wizard to ever live." Raising his glass in a salute and looking directly at the revolting and inhuman reptilian face, Snape swallowed the bile that threatened to come up in a drink of the firewhisky.

The thin white lips of Lord Voldemort curled back in what, for him, was a grin as he acknowledged the gesture with a sip of his firewhisky.

With this tacit acceptance of Snape's allegiance, it was now time to prove his worth as the Dark Lord's spy.