The Lion Scat 1½: The Tyrannical Reign of Teemone and Pimba:
The swag lord was dead, murdered by Teemone and Pimba. Now, the new swag lords used their powers not for good, but for evil. They murdered, raped, looted, and pillaged. Most of the aminals of Great Rock lived in fear and became submissive. Then, amongst the aminals, there rose the Angsty Rebellion. Naturally, the leader of this organization was none other than Baka. Baka wanted to avenge her fallen 50 Shades of Furry lover. She had amassed an army of a few lions and a small amount of baboons. While their numbers were small, their power was great, for baboons were the ferocious warriors they were. For Teemone and Pimba's defenses, they had a large grouping of elephants and hyenas, known as the Royal Army. The two armies met each other in the field of battle. Baka led the charge, for she could never forgive Teemone and Pimba. She fought fiercely, slaying many on the side of the Royal Army. However, a stray arrow flew into her left arm. She screamed in pain and dropped her shield, for she could no longer use her arm. Yet, still, she continued to fight. She fought and fought until she'd made it to the receiving hall of Great Rock, the battle still raging behind her. She saw Teemone and Pimba, each with their own throne, radiating swag. She apprehensively approached them. When they saw her, they began to laugh hysterically. Teemone said "A woman, fighting on the battlefield? Hakusa Mataya, you stupid cunt." They both pulled out blunts and began to smoke. Baka was appalled by their apparent stupidity. She decided that she would not spare them, even if they were this pitiful. She cautiously walked up to Teemone. He was still laughing. She raised her sword and brought it down, in an effort to kill him. Teemone quickly dodged her blade and pressed on her arrow wound. Baka howled in pain and fell backward. Teemone laughed even more. "You thought you could avenge your precious BDSM lion, you cunt? My swag powers are too strong for that." He began to glow, swag emanating from his brilliant body. Baka used her eyeglass to identify him. His-his power levels. They're increasing! He's getting too strong! His power level! IT'S OVER 9,000! Teemone's fur became a golden blonde, his eyes a light blue. He was now a nazi. Baka thrusted upward with her brilliant sword. Teemone easily dodged the attack and punched Baka in the stomach. Baka fell over, her back facing the ceiling. Teemone grinned wickedly. "Now, I shall claim my right of victory." He began to harden himself and approached Baka from behind. Baka quickly drew her dagger and spun around, cutting off Teemone's dick. Teemone wailed. He was becoming normal again for what is a swag lord without his penis? Baka raised her sword, ready to finish the job. But then, Pimba sat on Teemone killing him instantly. Pimba laughed loudly, for now, all of Great Rock was his to rule alone. "Now, I am the only swag lord. I just need to kill you, Baka." He leaned over and began to charge. He rammed his tusks into Baka, but then, Baka became red silk and flew around Pimba. Pimba was immensely confused. Baka continued to wave the red cape. Pimba charged again and was fooled by the cape. He began to see through Baka's meticulous deception. He charged once more, but this time he turned his tusks to the side and caught Baka in the waist. Baka was in agony and fell over. Pimba could see through the illusion, now, and began to charge. However, just before he reached her, she threw the cape over him. All he could see was Baka. Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka. He ran madly in circles. Baka raised her sword and delivered the finishing blow. Baka was the swag lord, now. Yet, she still heard the roar of battle. How could she stop the Royal Army? Her side was down to 5 baboons, murdering at least 50 aminals each before they gloriously fell in battle. She came up with a plan. She gathered two giant flags and raised them high. On one flag, she had placed Pimba's tusks, while on the other, she had placed Teemone's penis. The Royal Army knew that they had now lost the battle. They surrendered. Baka felt the relief of sweet victory, but, just then, she saw something glinting on the horizon. Something somewhat malevolent. Tune in next time for The Lion Scat 2: Pimp Master's Attack on Great Rock.
Secret after credits scene: The Pimp Master sat on his throne of solid gold, gazing at Great Rock. He smiled, for he knew that it was his. He turned to his warrior. «Ready?» Shia LaBeouf stared murderously.
