A/N: more crack through the eyes of Hiashi, -.- i can't believe he doesn't have his own category on this site, would seriously make things alot easier... -snickers- oh well, no idea how long this will last, but this weird idea came to mind...

Dis: i got nothing but a deep, dark, and twisted mind -.- all them other things're Kishi-kun's...


Today's Subject: Hyuuga Neji

-Ahh, my dear brother, I hope you are happy in paradise, because your son is a wonder to behold…-

A mental smile graced the Hyuuga lord's imaginary lips as he opened his eyes to study his nephew.

-He has the power all Hyuuga should aspire to. The poise and dignity our great clan is to be known for…-

The well trained and aged white eyes of the Hyuuga patriarch, Hyuuga Hiashi, took in every detail as his brother's successor displayed a difficult kata before him. Internally his mental smile grew, even if his lips remained in their normal neutral stance on the outside. Watching his nephew complete the kata and move on to another, Hiashi nodded.

-His form in our mighty style Jyuuken is perfect in every way, I've yet to find a single flaw, never a misstep, never a mistake; he truly is the prodigy of our great clan…-

Hiashi watched Neji continue his training for a few more moments before activating his 'special technique'. The mental grin fell from the internal visage of the Hyuuga patriarch when his advanced Byakuugan activated at its lowest level, so that his veins didn't show around his eyes. Internally the old man with the white eyes wanted to smack himself in the head; externally Hiashi refrained from moving a muscle.

-If there was one thing I would EVER change about your 'perfect' son, brother Hizashi, it would be that he didn't inherit your bizarre taste in undergarments…-

For the smallest of moments the left brow above the clan head's prestigious Byakuugan twitched, so small one would need a microscope and video-recorder, and watch the film a million times over to confirm that his brow did indeed move, however small. While on the inside, Hiashi's more 'liberal' self was twitching away without care to who could see him.

-Why, Why, WHY KAMI did you have to let the pride of the Hyuuga inherit his father's like for 'tighty-whities'?-

The miniscule work of his left brow seemed to continue, though obviously unnoticed.

-I swear, of all the habits he could have picked up from his father, it had to be wearing those boorish underwear!! I mean seriously, if he were MY son, I would have taught him early on "never wear tighty-whities!!"-

The clan head's keen eyes examined his nephew closely. He knew in his mind if anyone ever found out about his 'ability' not only would they try to shamelessly cover themselves, like it would do them any good, but they would more than likely be extremely pissed at him. Some would even go so far as to call HIM a pervert, but that was something to address on a later date. No, Hiashi was no pervert, at least not at the moment, and his eyes were more trained on 'aesthetics' then perversion, he'd after all long ago learned how to tell people by their 'undies'.

Internally he was sighing into his hand.

-Neji, it's no damn wonder everyone thinks you're too stuck up, or more appropriately think a stick is stuck up somewhere it shouldn't be-

His internal self was snickering at his own 'joke', while externally being as expression as a rock.

-Honestly, Neji, what the hell is the benefit of tighty-whities? They are too constricting and are glorified Speedos-

He took another look and was mentally shaking his head.

-And they leave nothing to the imagination, I truly wonder what that brunette he's always watching will think when she sees him stripped down to his skivvies?-

Hiashi's mental self was snickering again at the thought of the girl busting out laughing at the sight. In the next moment he shivered as a thought came to mind.

-Damn!! The pride of the Hyuuga will never get laid, let alone keep his pride, if she sees that atrocity he calls underwear!!-

The mental apparition of Hyuuga Hiashi mused.

-I wonder if I can convince him to try boxer-briefs? I mean they provide the same 'support' tighty-whities do, only slightly less constricting and would spare him the shame of a glorified Speedo? Hmm, perhaps…-

The internal thoughts of the Hyuuga patriarch began giggling.

-Perhaps I could somehow get the aid of that girl, what was her name? Penpen, no, Paten, no, Ten-something, Whatever, I know what she looks like!! Hmm, and maybe his other teammate's help wouldn't be bad either­-

He internally shuttered again, quickly trying to erase the images from his mind the thoughts the 'proud green beasts of Konoha' brought to mind.

-Ugh!! Scratch that, I don't care how prideful they are, they have nothing to be proud of, and I WILL NOT have the pride of the Hyuuga free-balling like them!! It's too easy to get injured that way, in our line of work, and I play on being a Great-Uncle one day!!-

Mental Hiashi was shaking his head vigorously trying to remove all 'images' and anything else in an attempt to clear his head. On the outside the great Hyuuga clan head merely closed his eyes, took a breath, and opened them again, his eyes finding his nephew again, and the one thing he cursed more than….. well anything really!!

-I hate tighty-whities, and I damn you brother for this one flaw you put in your nearly perfect son!!-

There was a deep breath in front of Hiashi, followed by a strong and masculine voice, "Hiashi-sama, I have finished today's training." His face was a practical mirror of stone to the Hyuuga lord.

Hiashi nodded, quick and curtly, receiving a deep bow from his prestigious nephew, "You may leave." With that small command the young Hyuuga male did as such, quickly exiting the front of the estate gates.

Lord Hyuuga Hiashi sat there for a moment, in complete silence. He discovered himself to be completely alone on the porch of the Hyuuga's dojo. Suddenly he closed his infamous eyes, took and exceedingly deep breath, and let out a loud, long sigh, "One flaw in perfection must be quickly remedied."

-I hate tighty-whities-


A/N: i agree, i hate tighty-whities, and i don't care what my one friend says, Boxer-Briefs are damn smexy, Boxers and Briefs be damned!! a good inbetween that looks good XD

review, please? -uses puppy-eyes no jutsu-

Till next -Salute-waves- Sayounra, Mina!!

-Ikasury