Olivia avoided Nick's eyes throughout the entire ride to the hospital.

"He's gonna be okay, you know," Nick ventured.

"You don't know that!" She spat back. She ferociously clung to her anger in an effort to avoid showing how pathetic she really felt. When Nick pulled up in front of the hospital she immediately hopped out of the car. She ran to the front desk and demanded to see Brian Cassidy.

"He's in trauma right now, third floor," responded the woman at the desk after some overly loud typing on a computer. Olivia raced toward the elevator. "Wait!" called the woman. Olivia paused and looked back with an annoyed look on her face. "You can't see him yet."

"Why?" demanded Olivia. She, of course, knew why. He would still be in surgery, of course she couldn't see him. She was just on edge, and her first instinct was to question whatever she was told.

The woman got a strange look in her eye. Was it... pity? "Just... just tell the nurses on the third floor who you're here to see, alright honey?"

Olivia didn't like pity, and she sure as hell didn't like pet names. She didn't have time to deal with this, however, and she continued into the elevator.

The ride was agonizingly slow. She looked down at her hands, then up at the other inhabitants of the elevator, then back at her hands. She was crawling out of her skin. A million thoughts rushed through her head: thoughts of the dinner she had with Brian last night, thoughts of how he had helped her after the whole ordeal with Lewis, thoughts of the danger she was in, and thoughts of facing it all alone. She shook off these thoughts. He's going to be okay. He has to be.

Olivia stepped out onto the third floor and immediately felt overwhelmed by her surroundings. It's not like she was a stranger to chaos, in fact, she was so used to it that she found it rather calming. But this was different. This was about Brian. She pulled aside a nurse who seemed to be less frantic than the others.

"My name is Detective Olivia Benson, I'm here for a Brian Cassidy." She struggled to remain composed and formal. This was no place for a worried girlfriend, this was a place for a seasoned detective, someone who wouldn't shrink from the sight of blood and guts.

"Are you working his case?"

"No, I'm his next of kin."

The nurse's face immediately softened, and her expression became a compassionate on. "Sit here, honey, his doctor will be right with you." She motioned to a couple of chairs down the hall.

Olivia ignored the pet name and focused on the information that was given. His doctor will be right with you. So Brian was out of surgery. Or nearly out. While the danger might be far from over, it was clear that the worst was behind him. Olivia looked over as a man in a white coat approached her. He was out even more quickly than she expected.

"Miss Benson-"

"Detective." Even in this situation, she couldn't resist correcting him.

"Excuse me, detective, I didn't know. Detective Benson, I have some news about your boyfriend..."

She almost knew this speech by heart. She had heard it on many occasions, whether it was about Elliot, Munch, Fin. They tried not to get your hopes up, just in case the worst occurred, but-

"Detective, did you hear what I just said?" The doctor looked at her with his eyes full of concern.

"I'm sorry, what?" Olivia was snapped out of thought and back into the present.

"I... your boyfriend... I'm-I'm afraid he didn't make it. I'm so sorry-"

"No." Olivia corrected immediately. "He's fine. He's in critical condition, but it seems like he'll make it. He's waiting for me in the ICU."

The doctor placed his hands on her shoulders in an effort to calm her.

"Let go of me! Is this some kind of joke? I can't believe for a second that you thought you could just- the nerve!" She spoke firmly. Her voice did not waver. She broke into a joyless laugh that soon turned into tears. She turned to the doctor. "It's not a joke, is it?"

He simply shook his head slowly.

"Brian's not waiting for me on the ICU, is he?

The doctor again shook his head.

Olivia just nodded stoically and walked towards the bathroom. There, she cried into her hands and proceeded to think up all of the fun and imaginative ways in which she could kill herself.

A/N So um, that got dark, but it's not where the story ends, unless y'all think it should be... If you want to hate on it, go for it. I would, too. I know I published these first two pretty close together but I'm bored, so... Anyway, please review so I feel like I'm not just talking to myself!