Kurchak looked over his troop, his family, and let out a miniscule sigh of relief. His family was safe for another night.
Watching them sleep, seeing the young curled up safely in their mother's arms allowed the tension to seep out of his body as he settled down. He was always the last to sleep and the first to arise, to ensure his family was always protected. It was a heavy responsibility to care for everyone by himself, especially at his age, but there was no one to assist him. Though there used to be other males in the troop, Kurchak saw none worthy to take his place and one by one they dispersed into the jungle, to start their own troops and find their own families to protect. That was fine. They were on good terms, and they knew not to mess with him.
As Kurchak settled into his own nest, he spared a glance to his mate. Or rather, the gorilla who was once his mate. It was difficult to decide if that was still the correct term for what they had become.
Kala was fidgeting, looking anxious as she swept her gaze into the jungle. It didn't take long to guess why, as nearly all of Kala's thoughts and actions revolved around the same thing; her supposed son, Tarzan. Thanking about the boy caused a sense of frustration to well up within him. He gritted his teeth and looked away, as he always did; Kala did not want a confrontation, or to hear him berating the boy. She wanted reassurance of his safety and that was something he could not give her.
Ignoring her, he laid down and waited for sleep to take him. It had been a long day and he couldn't afford to waste time tracking down an unruly child.
The next night was the same, as was the night after that. Tarzan would return - briefly - during the day, presently flowers, hugs and reassurances to his mother. He would wrestle with his cousin, pluck fruit and follow the troop as they looked for the next nesting place. But by time dusk came, he would take off into the night and would not return, regardless of how he worried his mother.
Kurchak has a vague idea of where he went, but he would rather not think of it. The boy was not explicitly disobeying him, only adhering to his own curiosity. As long as he didn't bring those things here, it could be forgiven. Though he constantly expressed his disapproval, it was not his wish to discipline Tarzan. While he did not care for the boy, he recognised that he had grown into a fair gorilla in his own right. He had protected the troop when Kurchak himself could not and that was deserving of a certain amount of respect, putting aside how disgruntled it left him.
But while he could remain objective, Kala could not. She was fretting more and more each night, pacing back and forth as she waited for his return. Worse still, she was not sleeping. She only settled for a maximum of five hours a night, leaving her sluggish and unresponsive the following morning. It wasn't healthy and Kurchak's first instinct was to lecture her. Failing that, he would simply force her to sleep, one way or another. She was endangering herself, and it worried him.
However, Kurchak wasn't sure it was in his right to worry anymore. It was true that as the leading silverback, it was his responsibility to make sure everyone was happy and safe, but he knew Kala wouldn't accept that as an excuse. They hadn't behaved as mates for so long, he didn't know what to think. The most acknowledgement he'd given her in the past five years was a grunt, a nod, a weak glare. He couldn't remember the last time he had said something substantial to her, something to show he cared. But then, neither had she.
Which left him conflicted tonight. Like any recent night, Tarzan was nowhere to be seen. Normally Kala would hesitate before eventually going to sleep, but tonight she had seemingly had enough. With a determined expression, she left her hastily strewed nest and marched into the jungle, ignoring the call of her sister. Her niece, Terkina, merely watched with a bored, knowing expression, before rolling over and going to sleep.
She had left the nest. He almost couldn't believe she would be so irresponsible, but then again this wasn't the first time she had been careless in order to protect the boy. Likely, it wouldn't be the last. Alright, He thought. Enough is enough.
So many times he had hesitated, willing himself to be content with this distance. So many times he had questioned what was appropriate and what was not, and whether Kala even still wanted him. So many times he had turned around and looked the other way, pretending it was none of his concern. No more. He had allowed his child to wander into the night, curious and oh so vulnerable. He would not allow his mate to do the same.
He followed her.
It did not take long to find her. She was thoughtless in her haste and left an easy trail to pick up. He caught her as she was about to step out of the trees and into the wide open space. Vulnerable.
"Kala." He barked at her.
She flinched and turned to face him. His face must have been a picture of rage (as it always was when making an attempt to cover up his fear) yet she still looked up at him with same defiance as all those years ago. The same fearless and courageous attitude that drew him towards her when they first met.
"We're returning." He commanded. Kurchak turned to walk back towards the nest. Looking back over his shoulder, he wasn't surprised to see she hadn't moved an inch. He heaved a sigh. "Kala, it isn't safe out here. We need to get back to the safety of the nest."
"You go," She said calmly. "I'm going ahead."
He caught her arm as she turned away from him. He had long since realised that intimidation and dominance had no effect on her whatsoever; it only proved how he would always bow to her will in the end. "For what purpose? What are you trying to achieve?"
Her face scrunched up in- anger? Sadness? When had he stopped being able to tell? "What purpose? I'm going to make sure my son is safe."
His voice grew softer as he tried to sooth her temper. He remembered vaguely that it used to be the other way around. "Kala-"
"No! Don't touch me!" She struggled to pull away, but his grip only tightened, not allowing her to escape this. She bashed against his hand, which so easily held her in place. "Let me go, let me go, let me go! Kurchak, I am warning you-!" She shrieked.
He allowed her to yell and cry as much as she liked. As long as he was here, no predator would dare lay a hand on her. In the meantime, he gave her the chance to unload her stress, worry and fear as she punched and kicked and wailed. If this was what she needed to get through this, he would gladly give. She put all of her effort into getting away from him, until tears began streaming down her face in angry streaks and her body heaved from exhaustion. Finally, finally, her punches died down and she stood still, while choked sobs rattled her small frame. They were small and uneven; throughout it all she rebuked him for all he had done wrong.
In time the tears stopped, as did the violence and the accusations. It was just the two of them, the silence between them that stretched for thousands of miles. Once certain she had calmed down, he carefully released her and stepped back to give her some space. It had been a long, long time since Kala had allowed him to see her in such a vulnerable state. He wasn't going to push her more than he had to.
As he retreated, she took a hesitant step towards him and fell into him. He froze as she laid her tired head against him, unsure of what to do. She took a deep breath, as if taking in his scent, before curling up into his chest. "I've missed you." She sighed, sounding wistful.
The words, unexpectedly, made him angry. He wanted to spit out nasty, sarcastic retorts, something along the lines of the alien brat being more important than her lowly mate, but he held them back instead. He swallowed the vile, bitter words until he was sure he could speak without saying them. For the first time in so long, she felt like his again, if only for a moment; he wasn't going to spoil it with actions that would only serve to push them apart. Instead, he wrapped wary arms around her and let them rest there, not bothering to pull her closer than a loose embrace. His body was stiff and his arms were careful, as though he had grown unfamiliar with such intimacy, such basic comfort. Gods, but he had. He remembered a time when this had been effortless, a time when nothing had seemed more natural than pulling the woman he loved to his side. Now, weary from years apart, he chose to say nothing at all.
"Kurchak…" She whispered. "What happened to us?"
What on earth was he supposed to say to that?
He didn't reply for a long time and she sighed sadly. "I know. I know, this was my fault. If I had just kept a better eye on him…if I had only been more careful, more diligent-"
"Stop!" He yanked her away, hands clutching her shoulders in an attempt to understand what she had just said. "You…Kala, you can't mean…"
She was crying again. "He- he was a child - a newborn! I should have been awake, I should have heard him. I should have known!"
Kurchak pulled her close to his heart, wanting more than anything for this self-condemnation to stop. How long? He thought frantically. How long had the woman he loved felt this way? "Kala, listen to me," She was muttering incomprehensively, not listening. He needed her to listen.
"Listen to me!" He roared.
She stopped. She looked at him slowly, waiting for him to save her from this self-inflicted agony she had been basking in.
"Kuba…dying…was not. Your. Fault." She started shaking her head and he shook her. "Listen! It was an accident. There was nothing you or I could have done about it. It was how the jungle wanted it. You couldn't…" He swallowed back the tears. "You couldn't have changed that."
His hands shook as he pulled away from her. "Do whatever you feel you have to. But whether or not you interfere, the boy will make his own decisions. That is also something you can't change."
He turned and left, his limbs as heavy as his heart. He padded through the thickets of the jungle back to the nest, taking in all of the sleeping faces. As he was settling down into his own resting place, a rustle in the bushes caught his attention. Looking over, he relaxed. Kala had returned.
She threw him an indecipherable look before nestling in a high tree, turning her back to him. He did the same and turned towards his troop, ready for any danger that might awaken him from his sleep.
And that was the end of that.
Hi everyone!
After reading all of your reviews, I was actually inspired to add another chapter to this story. It was originally meant to be a one-shot, and I don't think this is what you meant when you asked me to update, but I kind of like the way this is going. So, thank you to everyone who reviewed this story! I'm going to try and keep updating at a constant pace, so let me know what you think.
Katunei999 xoxox
