A/N: Chapter one already? Yup yup! I already had it written so I posted the prologue and chapter one back to back. Chapter two is going to be up right after this one. I've already got it done as well!
This one is actually quite hilarious. Well, if you imagine it the way I do, it's funny. I'll add some wonderful explanations at the end of this chapter for some of it, just in case the entirety of my jokes aren't expressed. Saying anything at this point would spoil it.
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Emmett bounded down the stairs and into the living room of the Cullen's home with a huge grin on his face. He held a top hat in his hand. Edward and Jasper were seated on the couch watching television. Emmett placed himself directly in front of the screen.
"Today's the day!" he shouted with much enthusiasm. Edward sighed and craned his neck trying to see the screen behind Emmett. Jasper pulled the hood of his sweatshirt as far over his face as it would stretch. "Come on, you two! Do I have to say it again? Today is the day!" Jasper hugged his arms tight around his knees. Edward sighed again.
"Emmett," Edward said. "We are well aware that today is the day, but could you please move? I'm watching this documentary about the psychological profiles of-" Emmett cut Edward off by throwing the top hat at him.
"I already wrote my choices down," Emmett said, undeterred. "Now it's your turn!" Jasper grunted in annoyance. "Come on, Jazz. You gotta get out of this funk sometime! College would be the perfect place to start!"
"This isn't just a 'funk'," Jasper said quietly. "My heart and soul have died. I have no reason left for anything."
"Jazz," Emmett said as he sat down on the couch next to Jasper and threw his arm around his shoulders. "I know it sucks that Alice left without even an explanation, but it's been almost 6 months. I mean, Rose and I split up 3 months ago, and I'm already doing pretty damn well, if I say so myself." Jasper shrugged Emmett's arm off of his shoulder.
"Dartmouth and Yale," was all he said as he laid his head upon his knees. Emmett grabbed a stack of Post-It notes and wrote the colleges down on separate sheets. Then he turned to face his other brother.
"Edward? What college would you like to go to this time around?" His voice was sugary sweet, as was the smile on his face.
Edward rolled his eyes. "How about…" He paused. "Princeton… and… Oh, why not Harvard?" Emmett wrote those down as well. He then folded them and placed them into the top hat.
"Aren't you going to tell us what you chose?" Jasper asked.
"Nope. It's a surprise. And don't even think about reading my thoughts Edward. The names of the colleges are safely tucked away in my mind." With overly flamboyant movements, Emmett leapt gracefully over the coffee table and turned off the television. He held the top hat out in front of himself.
"And now the moment has arrived." He closed his eyes and dipped his hand into the hat. As he pulled the slip of paper out, he said, "And the lucky college that will have the Cullens in attendance this time is…" He paused dramatically as he unfolded the Post-It. He chuckled once as he read the name. "Well, what do you know. It's my choice." His brothers looked at him expectantly. "We're going to Mississippi."
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So, I think there may be one joke I need to explain. I'm not sure what college Emmett pulled out of the hat. It may have been the one he said. Or it may have been another one. I don't think it really matters. He would have said what he wanted no matter what…
So, yeah. Review this chapter and read my other stories!
