"Sam?"

"Hey."
"Sammy where are you?"

"Y/N, why are you calling me?"
"Dean is worried sick about you and so am I! Please come home."

"Dean doesn't care. He wants me gone."
"You're being a child, you know that, right?"
"Am not."
"Case and point. Sam, please come home. Talk to Dean. He's done nothing but drink and be sad since you left. I know you don't want to but he needs you. I need you. Please Sammy. Please come home."

The line goes quiet for a solid minute.

"I'll be home tomorrow night. Don't tell Dean."

He hangs up.

Sometimes, I swear I am the only adult around here. I am always cleaning up their messes and putting them back together after their fights. This one was one of their worst, for sure. Yes, Dean had said some things that were harsh but he's basically possessed by that damn blade. Sam should understand that! Dean being a dick is not a good enough reason to leave. If it was, we all would have left him years ago.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Dean is awake and definitely hung over. I walk over to his room, coffee, water, and Advil in hand, and open his door.

"Calm down Dean and here, "I hand him the glasses and pills, "water and Advil first, then coffee." I turn to leave.
"The answer is yes, by the way."

"Huh?" I look back at him as he chugs the water.

Wiping the spillage off his chin, looks up at me with a smirk, "Yes, I do still love you."
"Oh." Shit "You heard that. I thought you were asleep."

We let the silence sit there as he sipped his coffee.

"You were right, you know? About me being sober and being able to remember everything. And about Sam too. I'll call him later, ok?"

"Ok."

"So, are we going to talk about last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N, you know what I mean."
"You were drunk. Nothing counts when your drunk."
"HA! That's good. I'm going to keep that line for later." The smirk leaves his face as he looks at his feet. "Everything that happened last night, I meant it; all of it. You are my favorite and I think I'm falling-no, I am in love with you. I want you, all of you."
"Dean, please, be reasonable."
"What's there to be reasonable about? I'm in love with you and you very clearly have feelings for me so what am I missing? Tell me, please, because I'm lost." He was visibly frustrated and his tone was starting to scare me.

"Dean, if we ever do anything, then it becomes real. I'm not ready for real. I can't handle real now. I'm- I'm not ready."

"Not ready for what? Why are you making this so complicated?" He decreased the space between us so that he was within reach.

"Because the moment we have sex, I lose my best friend! I can't lose you! I already lost Sam! I lost you once when you went to purgatory. I am not built to lose you again! Dean… Dean, I need you more than I need oxygen. I want you all the time but I can't have you because having you means losing you and I'm afraid!" I crumple to the ground, pulling my knees to my chest I let out a sob. I hear him exhale and crouch next to me.

"Please look at me. Y/N please." I poke my head up, tears still trickling down my face. He tips my chin up and wipes away a tear with his thumb. "Come here." He sits next to me and I curl up into him. Dean places my hand on his chest; I feel his heart. "Feel that?" I nod "It's real." He moves my hand to his face and kisses my knuckles. "This is real too. We are already real. I am in love with you. I want you. I want to know your deepest secrets and you fears. If loving me is a fear, then let me help you face it. Please, Y/N, let me show you that this love is not something to be feared." He tips my chin up and leans in; his eyes asking permission. I take a deep breath and nod.

He kisses me gently and pulls away. "I don't want to scare you away Bambi." He pulls me into his chest. He smells like leather, liquor and soap.