"I own Harry Po-" *BOOM* 'a soldier stepped out from behind a car to look at the debris in front of him' "Hmmm.." He said "...the anti-I own Harry Potter mines work like a charm!"
Raising Cain
C2: Hello dearest oh bro of mine….
Harry waited outside the Great Hall, his Godfather had said before he got on the train that he will personally announce him into the hall. He also said that he will DEFINITELY know when he needs to come in.
'OH GOD' Harry winced, if his Godfather knew at least one thing. That thing would definitely be dramatic entrances.
He looked down at his clothes; one way to piss off a Pureblood is to wear all Muggle fashion (except maybe his dragon hide vest underneath everything). Black loose army boots, torn dark blue denim skinny jeans, a brown belt with real silver belt-buckle, an oversized white heavy cotton t-shirt that stopped just below his hips, a black hoodie and an ocean blue pea coat. Accessories include a backwards dragon tooth stretcher in his left ear, several simple metal rings on his right hand, his auto-eject wand holster clipped onto his right arm and to touch the look off, several concealed throwing knives littered around his body. Harry conjured a mirror with a wave of his hand and checked to see if he needed anything else, automatically he ran a hand through his hair. Perfect. First impressions are always one thing Harry liked to get right.
'Piss off the Pureblood bigots and take no prisoners when it comes to going against Dumbles….bring it on!' Harry thought whilst straightening his hood over his coat. Suddenly there was a loud clearing of the throat that echoed in the Great Hall. Then what sounded like a WWE announcer, Sirius Black's voice drifted into Harry's ears.
"Laaaaadies and Gentleman…" 'ah shit' Harry moaned "…Children of all ages…" 'Hate you Mutt!' "…I, Sirius Orion Black, am proud to introduce…" 'He's dead meat' Harry growled as he stood in front of the double doors "…The one, the only, HARRY JAMES POTTERRRR!" Harry mentally shrugged and flicked both of his wrists; the doors blew open and slammed into the walls. 'Well if he wants an entrance, I'll give him a bloody entrance…'
Everyone in the Great Hall spun on their seats as the Great Hall doors nearly flew off there hinges. A tall dark figure stood in the doorway, as he took a step forward the candles all went out. Whisperings started among the four house tables. A minute later, an almighty scream rang throughout the hall and then the candles flickered back on. Everyone looked around until they heard a sharp intake of breath. Looking up, one would see Sirius Black dressed in a pink tutu and tiara, hanging upside down from the roof, his face covered in make-up and his hair styled into a fifties beehive. A low chuckled met everyone's ears and they looked to the head table; sitting on the edge of the table was a tall, messy raven haired man whose green eyes sparkled with mirth. His wand was in his hand until he flicked his wrist and it vanished into thin air.
"Ah dear Sirius, I know how you liked dancing and women, but c'mon, this is a tad far…" the man's voice was silky and calm; they could hear grumbles from above from Sirius.
"What's that? You want down? Fine, I Harry James Potter takes mercy on one Sirius Orion Black" then with a wave of his hand, Sirius Black appeared back in his seat next to Severus Snape looking completely normal except for the tomato shade of colour on his face. The pupils of Hogwarts turned to look back at Harry Potter; he was sporting a grin that held mischief in its depths, as he peered around the hall, his glinting green eyes landed on his brother Gareth Potter, whom like Sirius, was a shade of deep red.
"Ello Ickle brother!" Harry called out across the Hall to the Gryffindor table, he waved his hand. Gareth turned purple.
"My oh my, don't you look pleased to see your big brother, no hugs or 'what's up bros?' for me?" Sirius knew Harry was trying to get under his little brother's skin with the over the top innocent voice. Harry slipped off the Head Table; the teachers including both James and Lily watched with a held breath as Harry strolled over to his brother and looked down at him with a cheeky grin on his face.
"How's my Ickle Brother?!..." Harry tugged on Gareth's red cheek; if looks could kill then Harry would be saying hi to Death any second now. "…aww look at you, all grown up, I remember when you shat yourself as a little baby, those were one stinky little poos, aye little brother!" Harry's face could snap in half with the smile he had on his mug, he saw in the corner of his eye as Sirius, Severus Snape and two identical boys with ginger hair (most likely twins) covered their mouths with their hands and napkins, their bodies shaking.
Now to add the cherry to the top of the cake…
"Can you remember when you, a two year old tried to use the toilet?!" The whole hall went deathly quiet, including Sirius, Snape and the twins as they listened to Harry literally destroy the boy-who-lived reputation, if he had much anyway.
"Oh yes, I can remember ickle Gareth wanting to show off by trying to use the loo at two!" Gareth himself went chalk white, all colour leaving his face, his eyes asking…no begging for mercy. "That's right, I heard a loud squeal and dashed from my room, our parents running up the stairs, I opened the door first, aaanndd what did I see…?" Now Harry held an evil smirk
"Ickle Gareth's arse was inside the toilet and his ickle legs were pointing straight up, trapped ickle Gareth was, trapped inside a toilet. Oh I have that memory clearly burnt into my mind" There was quiet for a few seconds before an almighty bark of laughter came from the Head Table, everyone twisted their necks quickly, several cracks echoed and they saw something that will forever be astonishing. Severus Snape was in tears of laughter, his black long hair hanging over his face, his body shaking; this of course set Sirius off and one by one student and teachers started laughing.
"QUIET!" everyone shut up instantly to see Albus Dumbledore stood up looking slightly cross.
