A/N: Sorry I have had too much work from school and stuff and I hadn't had the time to upload this. Thank you for your reviews! In return I give you two more chapters. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 2: Take a Deep Breath and Swallow It Whole
Emma played with her charm necklace. She was sure, now, she really was. Neal was in the past, as he had always been. Things were different now. She wasn't that lost little girl anymore. She had a family now, too. She had embraced her magic, motherhood, being a daughter. Maybe not completely, it was all still a little rough around the edges, but she had found her home. Even in Killian.
But Neal. He represented safety, the known. He was her home once, too, and he was enough. She couldn't possibly think of him without the great heartache from his abandonment, but she had resolved that the negative things about him couldn't outbalance the positive nor vice versa. There was still a part of her that wanted to run away, and Neal always gave her that freedom.
"Do I even want him back?" she whispered
"Sorry, love?" Killian asked. He sat behind her on the bed and started massaging her back.
Emma shook her head, snapping back to reality. She smiled and turned around. "Nothing." She rested her arm on his shoulder, her hand playing with the hair. "You didn't tell me about Henry. What did he say? Did he understand what was going on?"
Killian scratched his head, and opened his mouth hesitantly. After Mr. Gold's drama, he and Henry had gone out to take some air, walking down the street. Everything was under control, until Henry turned around and said, "I know perfectly well what's going on! If my grandpa has found a way to bring my father back I'll take it! I want him back! Because YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER! I'm going to go now. I don't care what you tell my moms. Just… don't follow me okay?" Of course he knew what was going on! He had his mother's wits!
"He was very quiet" Killian lied, finally.
Emma raised her eyebrows in surprise. "That's a new one. I'll talk to him tomorrow." She stood up. "Now close your eyes, I'm going to change now."
He moved to the edge of the bed, beginning to stand up, too. "I could help you with that, love. After all, hooks are my area of expertise…" He said, lifting the back of Emma's shirt.
She turned around and pushed his chest, leaving him lying on the bed. "Back off and close your eyes" she said, a half smirk hiding in her lips.
He took off his shirt and pants, but left his underwear on. He got under the covers and put his hands behind his head, looking at the ceiling. He needed to fix things with Henry, but clearly that wasn't his biggest problem. The kid wanted his father back, and he had promised a while ago that if things came down to that, he would let Baelfire be a father. Still, the thought of losing Emma ignited inside of him, slowly and painfully spreading with every second he lingered at the possibility. He had thought that it would've been hard to lose her to Bae after never really having her, but it never crossed his mind how it would be like to let her slip right through his fingers.
A known warmth on his lips cut his train of thought. He opened his eyes and met Emma's. He felt the fire in his chest, and urged to extinguish it. He placed his hand on the back of her head, the other looked for her leg. He kissed her passionately, thirsty for her. This time it wasn't only her body he needed, but all of her. He placed her so that she would be sitting on top of him, legs on each side of his body, and he sat up. After a while he stopped and rested his cheek on her chest, hugging her tightly.
"Are you okay there? You didn't fall asleep, did you?" she asked, confused
He moved so that his forehead was touching her. He wiped his tears on her shirt without her noticing and raised his head. "Not at all, love." He kissed the tip of her nose.
"Good. Well, I'm tired. Today was one of those days." She left his body and got under the covers. She hugged him, resting her head on his chest.
"Night, my Swan"
"Night, m— Jones"
She didn't want to say 'my Jones', since she didn't know how hers he really was. She wouldn't do that to him; confess her love and leave him after. Not to him. She knew Neal was in the past, and that's probably where he would stay, anyways. But she was a mom now. She knew Killian was lying, she knew exactly what Henry would say and she knew she had to put him first now, always. Killian was great in more ways she dared confess, but Neal… She can't ignore all the bits and pieces of him that sometimes show in Henry. She can't deny they're father and son.
Killian took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. She realized her hand was in a fist and she was shaking. She looked up at him. He had his eyes closed, looking peaceful. She felt a bit calmer as she let her tears run down her cheek.
They were both still very much awake. His fear like fire, -crazy, uncontrollable- was tamed by her flowing sadness, like a river. They both balanced each other, needing just the other's touch. But they didn't know. They both now had a ticking clock inside of them, counting down on their remaining time together. They both wanted for it not to be possible, but they knew bringing Neal back was just a matter of time. Painfully, most importantly, they now had made the same decision. One that would have brought them closer, but for once, was the one thing tearing them apart. They both put Henry first.
