A/N: Hello! Sorry this took forever. I hope you enjoy! I own nothing. The song is "A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard" by Jeremy Messersmith. I know it's anachronistic, but it works so well for them.
Riza had been surprised when she'd answered the door and had seen Roy Mustang standing on the steps. She had been surprised when, after she'd led him to her father's sickbed, he had cried out barely ten minutes later and she had rushed in to see her father cradled in Roy's arms. She had been even more surprised when he had offered to pay for the funeral arrangements, and when he had stayed to see her father put into the ground. She had surprised herself with the decision to show him her father's notes. She was not surprised by his reaction.
After his initial shock and rage, Roy had managed to calm down enough to begin taking notes of the array on her back, promising to destroy them after he had learned from them. They had been working steadily for a couple of days, when he had requested a specific book. After searching the library, they decided that the book in question must be in the attic.
"He moved a lot of things up here after he finished his research. He said he didn't want to look at books he didn't need anymore." Riza said as they walked up the stairs to the attic. Roy wrinkled his nose when his head came over the landing. Books were everywhere, covering nearly every square inch of space.
"This is a mess! He just threw these up here?"
"Like I said, he didn't want to look at them. So away they went. He didn't really care what happened to them. I tried to keep it organized at first, but..." her voice trailed off. Roy nodded. He seemed to understand.
"It's like a graveyard. Of textbooks. They're all little headstones. They even each have tiny lives stored inside." Roy said as he stepped onto the landing. Riza gave a small smile. He still talked like this, his words full of vibrant visuals, imagination seeping through his very pores. She hoped he never lost that.
They carefully stepped over the books (or "graves" as Roy now insisted on calling them), looking for the one in particular. After a few minutes of careful search, Roy let out an excited shout. Riza stood up from her crouching examinations and turned back to him.
"Did you find it?"
"No! But I found something else."
She walked over to him, confused. Finally she saw what he had unearthed behind boxes.
"My phonograph?"
He nodded, clearly excited. "Yeah!" He turned to her, his face falling a little when he saw that she was still confused by his excitement. "Remember? We used to listen to music on it together all the time up here."
A smile began tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And you taught me how to dance."
He ducked his head, reminding her immediately of the 15 year old boy he had been. "I taught you steps. You already knew how to dance."
She chuckled at the memory. "We danced together quite a lot after that. You finally got better at leading."
"You never got better at following."
She laughed at that, then turned away, the memory now turning painful as she remembered their task at hand. She was supposed to be teaching him now. Or rather...being his notebook. She swallowed hard.
"Yeah. That was a long time ago, though. That phonograph is broken now."
He frowned. "It's broken?"
Riza nodded. "Mhmm. Sometime last summer. Let's find your book."
Roy watched her walk away. "Riza..."
She bent back down, looking at a new stack. "Mmhmm?"
He hesitated, unsure how to ask this. "Have you...mourned yet?"
She stiffened. "What do you mean?"
"I...I haven't seen you cry. Or get mad. Or happy. You just...keep working."
She breathed in and out a couple of times. "Maybe that's just how I deal."
He nodded and said nothing else until, about five minutes later, they had located the book. After that, they continued working, with no further mention of mourning. Or phonographs.
Riza woke late some mornings later, an unusual occurrence for her. She got up and showered, dressing slowly. She knew why she was being so lackadaisical. Today was Roy's last day with her. He'd managed to get the hang of flame alchemy, and while he wasn't quite a pro yet, she knew he'd master it soon. There wasn't much left for her to do for him, and he needed to return to the Academy. He had a State Alchemy Exam to pass. She knew he would pass it, with flying colors. She knew he would impress them. 'And then you'll never see him again,' a voice whispered in her head. Riza shook the thought away. It didn't matter anyway. He didn't want her. All the times in their youth, the almost kisses, the absent touches, the hidden glances...none of them had amounted to anything. Even with her back bared to him for four days straight, the most he had done was linger his glance a little too long, or allow his fingers to graze the tattooed lines a bit too tenderly. But there had been nothing else, and now he was leaving her. Again. This time, she would be truly alone. The idea nearly made her double over in fear and pain, but she refused. Now was not the time.
Riza walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs, wanting to get a pot of coffee started. She was surprised to see Roy already awake, sitting at the table and nursing his own cup.
"Good morning. I'm sorry for oversleeping."
He smiled at her, soft humor at the edges of his lips.
"You call this oversleeping? I feel like I'm up at the crack of dawn. It's like I never left the Academy."
She turned her back to him, busying herself with fixing her own cup.
"At least it won't be a shock when you go back tomorrow."
She didn't see him drop his head, but she did catch the softness in his voice when he replied with a simple affirmative. She added sugar and cream to her coffee, then turned around and leaned against the counter, sipping the hot beverage. He watched her in silence, tilting his head just slightly. She wrapped an arm around her stomach.
"What?"
He blinked. "What?"
She raised her eyebrows. "You're staring at me."
"Oh. Sorry." He raised an arm and scratched at the back of his head. "When you're done with your coffee I, uh, wanted to show you something."
She frowned. "Did you break something?"
Her derision was met with a scoff. "No! And if I did I could just fix it. " He wiggled his fingers at her. "Alchemy!"
Riza couldn't help but laugh a little. She smiled, took another sip and set her cup down. "Alright, show me."
He stood up and grinned. She would swear he looked nearly as boyish as he had the first day she had met him. Roy took her hand and led her into the hall, then turned back to her before opening the door to the study. She tilted her head.
"You're not going to tell me to close my eyes, are you?"
He chuckled, the slightest red tinge creeping onto his cheeks. "No. I just...hope you like it." He opened the door and, with a confused glance up at him, she stepped into the room.
He had pushed the couch against the wall, clearing a space in the center of the room. Her phonograph had been taken down from the attic and was set up to the side, with all of her boxes of records around them. He had pulled out four in particular and set them on top of each other on one box.
Riza's eyes widened at the sight. "How did you manage to get all of this down here? That phonograph is heavy."
He smiled sheepishly, stepping into the room behind her. "It wasn't that bad. I'm pretty strong, you know."
She walked up to the phonograph, examining it. "Did...you fixed it." It was a statement. She could see how clean it was, the wire no longer frayed, a gleaming needle poised and ready for a record to scratch.
Roy shrugged, held up his hands and wiggled his fingers again. "Alchemy."
This time he got a full laugh out of her, and a wide smile. She was genuinely excited to have her music back. She had missed the songs. Mostly, she had missed the dancing. She bent down and began rifling through her collection, pulling out certain records she had a particular fondness for. Roy walked behind her and bent down as well.
"I pulled out a couple that were my personal favorites." He handed her one record and she took it, smiling at the name. Pulling out the record, she walked on her knees to the phonograph and gingerly placed it on the table, where she set the needle down. Music began filling the room, for the first time in a year.
She looked over at him, on his knees next to her. Sincerity and gratitude blossomed in her eyes. "Thank you, Roy. This is wonderful. Why did you..."
He took her hand and pulled her up to her feet. "Because I wanted to dance with you again." He placed a hand on her waist and searched her eyes, pleading quietly with her. How could she say no? Riza would never say no to dancing with him. It was impossible. She placed her hand on his shoulder and they began to dance, moving to the sound of the guitar and the gentle melody.
"Lucie takes the long way home/Meets me in a field of stone/She says I don't know how I'm 'sposed to feel..."
Roy chuckled a little to himself. "You're still trying to lead."
She dropped her shoulders, laughing quietly. "Sorry. It's hard. Especially when we haven't danced together in awhile."
He pulled her a little closer. "Just trust me."
Riza bit her bottom lip and nodded, relaxing into his arms. Their feet moved across the carpet, the steps they took having gotten more complicated since their first simple box together in the attic.
"But I don't want to spend my time/Waiting on lightning to strike..."
She had missed this. She had missed him. Riza brought her eyes up to look into his, to memorize those deep, dark orbs before they were taken from her. She stared into them and he stared into hers. Without thinking, without breathing, without even knowing what she was doing, she tilted her head up just a little more, pressing a firm kiss to Roy's lips. Before he could even react, she had pulled her head away, her eyes wide.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn-" her words were quickly cut off by Roy pressing a kiss to her own lips, sweet and soft. Her eyes closed of their own accord and she leaned into him. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close, one hand snaking into her short hair. After a moment, they broke apart, still lingering on each other's lips.
"Please don't apologize for doing something I should have done years ago..." Roy breathed. Riza nodded quickly, and their lips met again, hunger for him blossoming in the pit of Riza's stomach.
"She said life's a game we're meant to lose/So stick by me and I will stick by you..."
Riza's lips parted and Roy lifted her into his arms, spinning around and deepening the kiss. His legs hit the couch and they tumbled onto it, a mess of limbs and lips and kisses. She wanted him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything. She craved his touch, his lips, his tongue...everything he had. Roy's hands wandered her waist, untucking her blouse and traveling up her back. She melted under his touch. She ran kisses down his neck, her fingers shaking as they unbuttoned his shirt. Riza tugged the fabric down his arms, where he finally let go of her to pull it off the rest of the way, her following suit with her top.
Back in each other's arms, Roy pressed soft kisses to her sternum and Riza moaned quietly. His hands found her thighs and pushed her skirt up, while hers played with his belt, pulling it out of the loops and dropping it to the ground. She tugged at his waistband and he kissed the tops of her breasts, then froze as his hands touched her underwear. He pulled his head up.
"Riza...we don't have to do this. I don't...I've not..." He flushed, his cheeks turning bright red. She leaned up and kissed him gently. Pulling back, she smiled and lifted a hand to his cheek.
"You lead, I'll follow."
A smile lit up Roy's face. He understood everything she meant to say in those four words, echoed from the first time they had ventured into uncharted territory together. He bent down and kissed her deeply, letting the ministrations of his lips and hands and body say everything that he couldn't word, couldn't voice. And just as she promised...Riza followed. With lips, with tongue, moans and sighs, shaking and pleasure, and yes, pain. But as they lay there in each other's arms, sweating and catching their breath, music still playing from the repaired phonograph, Riza would have taken all of the pain in the world for one more day, one more night, five more minutes, wrapped in this man's arms.
Riza walked back into the house and shut the door behind her. She had just said goodbye to Roy at the train station. Promises to write had followed one last desperate kiss as he boarded the train, and she had stood on the platform watching the train carry him away until she could no longer fool herself into thinking she could still see it in the distance.
She sighed, walking into the kitchen. She picked up the dishes from this morning and placed them in the sink. He had made breakfast, eggs on toast. She would need to soak the pan. She left the kitchen and wandered up the stairs. She didn't care where she walked. Her mind was on a train.
She found herself opening the room to the study. Records were strewn on the floor. They had spent yesterday and last night going through her collection, playing favorites, discovering new ones, dancing until their feet hurt, and making love until they fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch. Her legs and pelvis were sore, the ache making her steps difficult. It was hard to care after the day they had had. It was hard to care when it was nothing compared to the ache in her chest.
She bent down to pick up one of the records on the ground. This was one of Roy's favorites, In the Mood. It had been much faster-paced and they had stumbled all over themselves dancing to it, laughing themselves hoarse. Riza smiled at the memory. Then she threw the record against the wall.
CRASH! It shattered, falling to the ground in both large and small pieces. She picked up another record. 'Liquid Spirit'. Blankness on her face, she threw it as well. It smacked into the wall and broke into three large pieces. Riza picked up another, not even glancing at the title. She threw it even harder. She picked up another. Then another.
Crash! Crash! Crash! Each record broke against the wall, some leaving small pieces imbedded in the drywall. Riza was practically blind now, tears welling up behind her eyes but still refusing to come out. She was panting, rage at her father's death and neglect, at Roy's abandonment, at her own loneliness threatening to swallow her whole. Record after record flew from her hands, slamming into the wall.
She grabbed the next one and reared back, aiming. The name caught the corner of her eye, and she froze mid-swing.
La Vie en Rose.
She stared at it, her hands beginning to shake. Memories of their first dance flooded her mind. The way his hand had hesitated before it touched her waist. How he had explained the dance wrong, and they had crushed each other's toes. How they had slowly gotten the hang of the movement. How he had spun her. How he had nearly kissed her. How he had danced with her as often as he could after that day. She couldn't do it. Not this song.
Riza sank to her knees, clutching the record to her chest. The tears began to fall from her eyes, staining her cheeks. The tears she had kept at bay for weeks finally fell, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. So she wept. She wept for her father buried in the earth. She cried for the array on her back. She cried for the pain between her legs and how much she loved it. She sobbed for the man who had caused it, carried away from her by duty and a dream. She sobbed for how godforsaken lonely she was. Riza held the record close, and Riza wept.
And on a train 100 miles away, a dark-haired boy pretending to be a man wept for the girl who had given him everything, and who he had just left behind.
Sorry about the angst. It was too powerful of an image to not write. Please favorite and review!
