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I was startled awake when Han kicked out, groaning quietly as he flinched then twitched, his face contorting slightly from the nightmare. His arms had lost me as I had rolled over in the night and he now had his back facing to me, so I quickly moved closer and sat up, placing my hand on his arm. "Han…"
He whipped around and his fist stabbed at me as if it were gripping a knife but I quickly snagged his wrist, never even blinking as Han's eyes widened when he saw what had happened. "Natalia!" He breathed then darted away, stumbling from the bed as he got as far away from me as possible. "Natalia, I'm sorry..."
"Just calm down." I told him gently, pulling back the covers then slowly approached him, lifting my hands to sooth him. "It's alright. It was just a nightmare."
"No, no don't-" He was still in confusion, unsure of where he was and what was real or not so I ignored his warning and touched his face, stepping close to him as I gripped his neck and looked boldly up into his eyes.
"Look at me." I ordered him and he obeyed, shaking ever so slightly with a slight sheen of sweat on his skin. "Am I real?" I made him think, not looking away as he slowly lifted his hands and pushed them through my hair, moving the messy locks back from my face before he nodded his head. Giving him a comforting smile I reached up to kiss him but he turned his face away. "Han, it was just a nightmare." I sighed but he shook his head.
"If I had had a knife, I could have hurt you. Killed you." Han argued but I rolled my eyes.
"Which is precisely why I don't keep weapons under the pillows." I retorted simply. "Han, I held back your hand. I'm alright, I'm used to this and I'm good at protecting myself. It's what I do." He refused to look at me still so I stepped back, giving him his space to think. "I'll make some toast. You just get yourself together, okay?" I told him gently then left him to sort himself out as sometimes, it was what he needed.
I went to the kitchen, humming a song to myself and grooving my hips as I put some bread in the toaster and poured myself some juice, throwing it back in one gulp. I was just about to reach for a plate when I heard Han striding up behind me.
Turning around to ask if he was now alright, I squeaked when I found he was actually a lot closer than I thought. His hands slid through my hair, tilting back my head to raise my lips to his as he pressed his mouth firmly against mine, kissing me hungrily as I readily accepted his advance.
My hands jumped to his shoulders, pulling him closer as they then slid around his neck and his hands found my waist, his body dropping slightly as he then lifted me up and set me on the counter, my legs hooking around him as his tongue swept through my mouth, claiming it for his own as tangled his hair through my fingers.
Gingerly his hands brushed against my top, sliding beneath to feel my skin and a small sound escaped me, drawing him in further. Hell yeah, this is what I'm talking about. You guys jealous much? I know I would be if I wasn't me, but I am, so I'm not. I would stick my tongue out at you but it's a little busy right now.
Han slowly pulled away but I followed him, wanting more as his left hand rose up my back to find the bullet scar on my left shoulder. He traced it a few times, gazing intently at me as I desperately tried to regain my breath. He wasn't even gasping! "How is it you have a totally unfair effect on me that I don't have on you?" I pouted at him and he smirked, lowering his head to whisper in my ear.
"I don't let your effects show as easily." Damn that seductive voice. "Natalia…thank you." He murmured and I chuckled, pulling him into me to embrace him.
"For what? That insanely amazing kiss or for just being undoubtedly the best thing that's ever happened to you?" I asked jokingly, arching an eyebrow at him as he laughed quietly into my neck.
"You know." I did know, moreover, he did not need to say. He kissed me again, slowly and meaningfully, not allowing one inch of my mouth to go unexplored until I heard the toaster pop.
"Food!" I mumbled into his mouth and he chuckled.
"It appears I have competition." I shot him a sly smirk.
"Don't worry, you taste just as good." He arched an eyebrow at my comment before smiling broadly. Han rarely smiled but when he did, I was always captivated by how charming and good looking he was instead of the usual serious expression he wore.
I pulled out a slice of toast but instantly dropped it, yelping sharply as the heat burned my fingers. "Hot!" Han rolled his eyes then took my hand, turning it over then rubbed his thumb into my palm before lifting it to his lips and kissing it gently, lingering before pulling away as I watched him silently. "You know, I burnt my fingers, not my hand." I said to him hopefully and he smirked before kissing each of my fingers in turn. "Han?" He looked up at me and I gave a little grin. "You're such a romantic for a guy who kills people for a living."
"I have many layers." He answered simply and I arched an eyebrow then tugged at his finely tailored suit.
"Well, I can fix that." I murmured suggestively and Han raised his eyebrows at my flirtation. What can I say? Aunty Victoria taught me well. Realising that my toast was still waiting to be eaten I slid off the counter, which put me inevitably closer to Han but I then turned my back to him to put some chocolate spread on my slices.
As I lifted my first piece of chocolate smothered toast to my mouth, Han grabbed my wrist, jerked it away then took a large bite of my breakfast. "Hey! Get your own you little thief!" I stared at him then quickly retreated with my food, hoarding it possessively as I fell back to the table, sat down then hunched over it protectively, watching as Han smirked then found one of his favourite sketchbooks.
He went through the pages as if he were seeing it for the first time, taking in every detail and did not move on until he had memorised it perfectly. It felt good to see my art being really appreciated as much as Han did. Dad would tell me it was great but I knew art didn't really interest him, though he was always proud whenever a piece of mine went on show and he'd always bring Sarah along to come and see it as she was far more interested in the art world than dad was.
Speaking of which, he was calling me right now. Answering his call after I finished the food in my mouth, I spoke. "Hey dad." Han glanced up, smirked then continued looking through the pages.
"Hey baby, just calling to see if you're okay." Dad answered. "And to see if you would be alright to come down for a few days? Sarah wants to go and see this show and since I'm not the greatest of people to hang out with at such things, we wondered if you would want to come too."
"Hang on a sec, let me just check the calendar." I replied cheerfully, getting up and walking over to where the calendar hung next to the clock. "I'm watching you." I warned Han who chuckled to himself without looking up as I passed. "How is Sarah?"
"She's great, not gone stale as of yet." Dad's sarcasm made me laugh. He tried so hard.
"Well that's always good news. I was beginning to worry you'd start going all overprotective on her again." I paused. "You haven't, have you?"
"No!"
"Liar!" Sarah called back with a laugh. "Hey Nat, how's things? Is Han there? Have you seen him recently?" She interrogated and I grinned, going to answer but Han shook his head seriously, still not meeting my eyes and my smile dropped.
"No." My tone dropped to a dark level as I watched him carefully. "He's not here."
"Oh." Sarah felt disappointed for me so I quickly changed the subject.
"Well, when were you thinking about this show? What is it?"
"Oh! It's an opera, I really want to go, you know, try new things." Sarah explained. "It's on Tuesday night, three days' time. You up for it?" I had no bookings at work and Han would probably have left by then so I guess there wouldn't be a problem.
"How about I come down tomorrow? Tickets will be cheaper then." Turning my narrowed eyes away from Han, I focussed on my calendar. "And I'll stay for a couple of days. Would that be okay? I could use a holiday."
"Sure!" Sarah cut in ahead of dad, making my lips twitch in a smile. "I'll make sure to have some sweet stuff in and we can have a girl's night in, movies, popcorn, manicures, the whole thing." My smile widened a little.
"Sounds like something I seriously need. Okay, I'll be there no later than twelve, dad?"
"Yeah baby?"
"I miss you." He paused, registering the slight crack in my voice. "I miss you both a lot."
"Baby, are you okay?" Shaking my head slightly I looked down at my feet, struggling to keep my breathing at a regular rate.
"Yeah!" I answered a little more cheerfully than needed and dad was instantly on alert so I just kept talking. "It's just I don't think you guys know how much I love you. It gets a little lonely sometimes in the city away from home."
"Baby…we'll talk when you get there." He knew. He knew Han was there. "Can I talk to Han?"
"No, sorry." Not needing to explain, dad sighed.
"Okay baby."
"Wait I thought you said Han…"
"Sarah, we'll talk with Nat tomorrow face to face. It'll be easier for her." I loved my dad so much, he understood me better than anyone else.
"Oh, okay then. I'll buy some extra Skittles then." I chocked on a laugh.
"Thanks Sarah, you're the best. I love you guys, see you tomorrow." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Han get up slowly, pushing my sketchbook away as he kept his back turned to me.
"We love you too baby." Dad answered softly. "Take care, don't forget the alarm button I installed." I rolled my eyes. He was still overprotective dad from time to time. He'd installed quite an impressive alarm system into my flat where I only had to push a button and a bell would go off at dad's house to tell him I was in danger.
"I promise, I'll be cautious and careful." I assured him, taking a deep breath. "See you later." I hung up then tossed my phone onto the worktop, not bothering to look at Han as I strode into my room, dragged a suitcase from under my bed then began to pack. He followed me, leaning against the doorframe as he watched me in silence for a while, his expression blank. "Don't look at me like that." I commanded him sharply, shooting him a look as I tore off a long sleeved shirt from a hanger then folded it up.
"Like what?" He challenged, sneering slightly and instantly I bristled against the mockery.
"Like it's my fault." I answered back, doing my best to keep from shaking. "You're welcome to come along, if your busy life schedule will allow it." He said nothing for a moment so I continued my packing but paused to start up my laptop to book tickets online. "But I need to get out of here. I've been trapped in this damn place for two years, waiting for you every single day."
"I warned you that this is what it's going to be like." Han growled back evenly, taking a step inside as his eyes narrowed further. "Right from the start."
"And I've compromised, sacrificed and turned away from everything else that I wanted from the start just for you!" I flung back, grabbing a pair of heels and tossing them inside with a nice dress to wear to the opera. I growled aloud then clutched my hair, inhaling deeply before sighing. "Han, you mean the world to me but I just…I just can't sit back and wait all the time." I turned to face him, struggling to keep my features straight. "You never call, write or anything, there's no communication between us and that's one of the fundamental requirements for a relationship to work!"
"You're saying this isn't working?" My temper flared.
"No! It isn't! I've spent two years sitting on my backside when I wanted to go see the world! Travel! Yet here I am, twiddling my thumbs everyday praying to God that you're alright and not hurt. How do you think that makes me feel? Damn useless, that's what!" He watched me silently as I began to stab the keys of my laptop.
"Natal…"
"No, don't you dare use my name as a weapon against me." I lifted a hand to shut him up before he could take control over me. I needed him to know this. "You are a jackass on a good day, a pain in the backside most others and damn well insufferable the rest but you know what? I don't care. What I can't stand, however, is how you seem to think that it's alright to simply walk in and out of my life at your own leisure without any consideration as to how the lack of stability is affecting me." I turned and lifted my shirt and hoodie, showing him the frailness of my torso which sunk in at the ribs and exposed most other bones as well. Han didn't react, which only made me madder.
"I go days without eating when I get particularly worried about you, when I hear nothing for weeks on end!"
"Then stop your worrying. I'm good at what I do, I always come back!" Han spoke sharply as the level of his voice rose a little louder as he took another step forwards, becoming defensive.
"With stab wounds and lord knows what other injuries! You never go to a hospital, always come crawling back to me to fix you up!"
"Because it gives me just a little bit more time just to be near you!" His voice now matched the volume of my own which was beginning to be pretty loud.
"You being dead on my doorstep is hardly helpful!" We faced one another down, glowering intently as our argument began to really reach its point of peak.
"If you expect anything better then you are mistaken." Han snarled at me and I struggled not to flinch away from the threatening pose he had adopted, so to make myself feel a little better, I took one too.
"Is a little more communication too much to ask?" I demanded fiercely, lifting my chin. "You never even show up to any of my art displays and you weren't there for my graduation either, you've not lifted a finger to support me through anything when I needed you!" He said nothing, and that was worse than him arguing back. "Damn it Han, say something!" I thrust out a hand and shoved it against his shoulder but his fingers nimbly gripped my wrist, gripping it tightly.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." Han said in a dangerously low voice. "You are such a child at times."
"And you are an inconsiderate jerk!" I retaliated, snatching back my hand then tried to storm away from him but he grabbed my arm and spun me back around, gripping onto me tightly so that there was no chance for escape. I was having none of that.
Kicking up a leg I broke his hold on my right arm then twisted, freeing the other before taking a step back, lowering my stance to prepare myself to either attack him or defend against him should he charge. "How dare you grab me like that? I am not your puppet! I go where I want!"
"You're not being reasonable." Han snapped back at me, taking a menacing step forwards. "Just listen to me!"
"No! Why should I? Why should I listen to you when you never listen to my thoughts and feelings? You're cold. Cold and heartless. Sometimes I wonder who the hell you are!" My words flew with my temper and I was powerless to stop them, despite how desperately I wanted to. Deciding that the best way to avoid more damage was to simply walk away but once again, Han refused to let me leave.
His hand snagged my wrist but I whirled my foot around to strike him off but his other hand easily blocked the blow, catching my ankle but I twisted my wrist, turning my arm to change the grips so that I had his jacket then slid both feet forwards, landing on the ground whilst throwing him over my head. "You son of a…ARGH!" I bellowed, turning as he spun to his feet then jumped to block my punches and strikes.
I didn't want to hurt him, not really, but I was wound up and tense and this was the safest way for me to relent the anger that had built up in me without destroying everything around me and seeing as most of it was my art, I did not want to make some stupid, reckless mistake that I would regret later.
Han deflected my blows easily as I was hardly putting any effort into planning what I was doing, merely went for him tooth and nail. I swung my leg and he ducked beneath it, shooting forwards to grab my legs, drive his shoulder into me to overthrow my balance then sharply pulled me onto my back to the ground, a grunt escaping me as Han then went to pin me down but I wriggled, creating space as my heart hammered furiously in my chest, the blood roaring in my ears as I hissed through clenched teeth.
Jerking my head forwards I head butt him, allowing me the freedom to flip him from me then stagger to my feet. However now I took a large step back, clenching my fists together as I dragged breath into my body, trying to calm the tempest that raged like a hot inferno within me. Stupid Korean assassin. Why did he always seem to ignite every emotion in me to its fullest?
Spinning around I reached out to touch Han's shoulder, intending to apologise but for the first time in my life, I was caught off guard. His arm instinctively lashed out and he backhanded me across the face, causing me to yelp and fall from the force of the blow. I struck my head on the table before collapsing to the ground, completely frozen in shock as Han took in a sharp breath.
Tears rose to my eyes from the stinging pain but I bit them back, my body trembling from the shock. He'd hurt me. Actually struck me. Had he meant to do it or was it simple blind instinct from being grabbed from behind? Either way, it still hurt.
He just stood there as I slowly uncoiled from around myself, shifting to an upright position as I lifted my eyes to meet his. Han was as frozen as I was, staring down at me as his hand remained slightly raised, as if unable to register what he'd done.
Deciding that I needed to be alone, I struggled to my feet, tongue sliding out to touch the split in my lip before gritting my teeth. "Leave." I ordered him in a brusque tone, unable to meet his eyes any longer.
"Natalia I…"
"Just go!" My voice thundered though inwardly I wanted him to put his arms around me. What was I doing? Was I crazy? Han, his pride getting the better of him, glared at me.
"Let me…"
"No, go away Han, I don't want to see you anymore! Get out of here!" Lifting my head proudly I stalked away, slamming my bedroom door behind me then grabbed a pillow, burying my face in it to muffle the scream before I flung it aside, striking the bed. When I heard my front door slam, my mistake suddenly dawned on me. No, he might misinterpret me, he could leave for good!
"Han!" I yelled, racing after him. "Han wait! I didn't mean it like that, Han!" I tore open my door and practically flew down the steps, to try and beat the elevator, tripping over several times in my haste but the banister kept me upright as I hurtled down past my neighbours who all shook their ancient heads. "Han!" He was already gone, I couldn't see him. Not even when I ran out onto the street did I see his face disappearing into the crowd.
Undeterred, I ran for the nearest taxi, dragged the guy who was about to get in away then took his space. "I'll double the price if you floor the gas and get me to the airport." Not questioning me, the car lurched forwards and we darted away, me only just managing to get my seatbelt on.
We slipped through the traffic, crossing several amber lights and even one red at some point but despite all the near death experiences, I was determined to get to the airport where I knew Han would have flown in on his new private plane.
"Wait there!" I yelled at the taxi driver then raced into the airport, pushing through the thick stream of people as I tried to search for Han at the checkout points, frisk stations or just anywhere. I had no idea which runway his plane would be on, so I went to find out.
Sneaking past some security guards I walked towards the computer room where all the data was stored. Looking at the card key I had swiped from one of the guards, I smirked to myself. It pays to be so awesome. Swiping the card against the pad I waited until it was green before sliding inside.
There was someone filing reports so I carefully slipped out of side, inching my way towards the computer as he lifted his head. "Hello?" I kept my mouth shut, breathing as quietly as possible as the worker frowned, put down his reports then went to the door. "Who's there?"
"Your momma." I muttered once he had gone, turning to the computer and swiftly bringing up yesterday's flight patterns and landing directions. First I searched under Han's name but found nothing, so I tried a few other names I knew he went by until I found what I was looking for. "Seven. Runway seven. But that's all the way over…" The door opened and I cut off my rant, closing everything quickly. "Never mind." Hurriedly I manoeuvred around the filing guy then ran off, gripping the security tag tightly as I kept my head down and avoided the cameras as much as possible, which isn't particularly hard when you were trained by Frank Moses.
Gate seven, just typically it had to be the one on the complete opposite side of the airport. Pulling on a cap I had taken from one of the staff, I pulled it on, tucking away my hair then continued forwards, pulling a jacket from a rack as well and shrugged into it.
Using the tag to get through locked doors I hurried out into the open, casting my eye down the runway to see a plane already taking off. "Han!" I yelled but it was too late. My heart dropped to my feet as I watched his plane take off in the air, flying further and further away from me until finally, it was gone.
