Part 2 A Distant Memory
He came into her room.
Her eyes shot open, sitting up from her cot. Korra smiled shyly, rubbing her eyes slowly. "You're her-
Amon jumped on her, pushing her down back on the cot, crushing her. He had her hands above her head, holding her down forcefully that she was bruising.
"What's going on?" she gasped, her heart racing with fear. She didn't struggle to be free, she let him take control of her.
"Don't speak, until I tell you tell you," he demanded, his eyes narrowing at her.
She would have rebelled but she didn't.
"You know I could have easily taken advantage of you. I could have kidnap you, hurt you - killed you even. So many opportunities. Yet I haven't." He inhaled deeply, unable to suppress his confusion any longer. It started as an attempt to ambush her but it led to them having sex. The heated up moment catalyzed to more than the night. For several months they began to secretly see each other, repeating each time like the first night. "Why do you think that is?" he growled, his eyes digging at her heart. For endless nights, he thought about it, trying to find a rational reason- try to fight his craving for her, but it never worked. "I suppose," his voice became soft. "I love you."
Korra's eyes widened, her heart beating frantically. "I love you too," she blushed deeply through her tears.
Amon's hands released hers. He touched her cheek, stroking her gently. He removed his mask and hugged her, trying to calm her nerves. "Why are you always frightened by me?" he asked. "Even when you come to know me for months, know my fears and weaknesses, have me - and yet you look at meas if I'm going to devour you." She was easily frightened by his serious tone and his aggressive nature. He kissed her lovingly, running his fingers in her hair.
Their problems was not resolved.
They were completely different people. Corruptness filled the town, their beliefs clashing into one another, fighting for dominance. Amon was a wise person, but he had not figured how to find the resolution. He wanted peace in the city and wanted to keep her as well.
He pulled back, staring down at her. "Marry me," he said in tone that came out demanding and forceful. Amon didn't intend for his words to be harsh but he never learned how to control himself. He spent his years alone and cold, with no one in the world.
"What?" she looked at him.
"Marry me," he said in a lower tone, trying to be loving with his words.
She shook her head,shocked by his words. Usually Amon was slow,cautious,level headed. "I'm only seventeen years old, Amon. We only known each other for a few months. The world needs me right now. I can't forget about that. We have different views, different values-
"Don't think," he placed a finger on her lips firmly. "We love each other. Shouldn't that be enough?"
Amon stroked her lips, his fingers trailing down to her neck. Her neck was covered with bruises. He kissed her neck. "I want to spend my life with you."
"I don't know," she whispered, she turned on her side.
He bit his lip, restraining himself from forcing himself on her. He knew that she didn't want to be touched or be influenced. He knew she would someday agree to marry him, but right now was not the time. "I can tell you more about my sons," he offered, sitting beside her, attempting to make her feel better.
"Please?" she whispered eagerly. She loved learning things about him. He barely spoke about his sons. She learned about his sons one day when he took her to his home and she discovered several photographs of two boys. One was appeared to be four and the other was an infant.
"Very well," Amon swallowed hard. The topic of his sons, he rarely spoke of to her but he knew he had to so she would smile. "I had them when I was in my early twenties. My wife died from giving birth to my son." He closed his eyes, trying to fight back the pain. He hadn't seen his sons since he was twenty six years old. And that was fourteen years ago. "I was unable to take care of them because of my job and the fear that I would hurt them the way my father hurt me...s-so... so I gave them away."
"You did?" she turned and looked at him. She touched his hand, stroking him.
"I knew I would never be a good father." he felt his eyes burn. "I gave them to my mother." It was the hardest thing he had to do but he wanted his sons to be raised by a perfect person.
"Did she know it was you -
"No," he swallowed hard. He wanted his mother to continue to believe he was dead. He didn't want her to know the monster he had become. "I went to the Northern Water Tribe and pretended to be someone else. I begged for her to take care of them for me. And I never saw my mother or sons then."
"I'm sorry." Korra said. She wished she could have find the right words to make him feel better. She sat on his lap, kissing his cheek, hugging him tightly.
"It's alright," he assured her, stroking the back of her hair. "It was something that I had to do to make up for the years my mother had faced. Giving my sons away was the hardest thing I had to do but it made me experience the pain I gave to my mother. Losing a child...is something unbearable... I wouldn't wish it on anyone."
"Do you wish that you could have them back?"
"Of course I do, but they are in good hands and I know she sees them as her own. Every year for fourteen years, I would collect all the money I saved and secretly go to her doorstep and leave the collection of money to her to support my sons. The oldest is attending college right now," he smiled. "He wants to be a doctor and my youngest wants to be a teacher."
He looked at her. He wiped her tears from her face. Maybe the reason why he decided to propose to her was that he missed having children in his life. That he missed having someone.
But he wouldn't force her until she wanted the same things when the time was right.
Amon pushed away the memories. "But the things I'm telling you, I'm not trying to make you have sympathy for me so you would agree to be my wife." He kissed her, pulling her closer to his body. "I just want someone to be a part of my life for once."
