This is the same story but in Jacob's pov.
I was happy, elated, ecstatic, as I worked on the bikes Bella had bought for me.
We were sitting in my garage, the place I like foo munch nowadays due to company I was provided with. Of Bella. She had been a constant person in this small paradise of mine, where I could work on my car or bikes and talk with her too.
I was still confused on why she wants to ride this bike, but if she wanted to, then who was I to not let her do what she wants to.
Since the past week, we had become best friends. At least for me we are best friends, but I do not know what she feels about me. What if she sees me just as a mechanic who is ready to repair her bikes or if she sees me like a small sixteen year old boy who was desperate for her company.
I again connected the wrong wires.
Ever since I knew this bikes will be over soon, my hands are not able to work properly on them. Because of the one constant thought running in my mind.
What if she goes away once the bikes are over.
"Pliers?" I asked my assistant, Bella, who herself appointed as my assistant in giving me all the instruments I want. She gave me the pliers and I disconnected the wrong wires I had connected.
"Ugh!" I groaned. "I'll have to discuss it with Quil. He knows about it." Embry also knew about it, more than Quil or me, but he has now too joined the Sam's group of protectors. We all had decided that we will never join that group, but Sam made him. And I knew I was his next target. He always looks me with those strange expression as if he is waiting for me.
Suddenly I heard someone gasping for air. As if she was not able to breathe. I panicked and turned around to look at Bella. The scene in front of me was like a nightmare. Bella, who was sitting on a tire, had her legs pulled up to her chest, her hands holding them there very tightly. I knew what happen. She always did this whenever she was thinking about something, as if she was in too much pain.
But today it was different She was not only holding herself, but also her body was shaking violently, as if someone has hit her. Her eyes were facing into nothing, filled with unshed tears. Her breaths were coming in short gasps and her breathing felt shallow. As if she was having a major problem in breathing. I panicked. I have never seen her like this. In this much pain. Was she having an asthma attack? Did she hurt herself?
"Bella?" I called. No response. I raised my voice a little. "Bella? Bella?" I tried again. Again no response. Finally I shook her a little. "What happen Bella? Are you fine?" I asked again.
She shook her head, as if she was clearing something. But no more response other than this small action.
I was getting confused myself. So I kneeled down in front of her and held her by her shoulders, shaking her a little violently. My great hands were spoiling her mustard yellow colour shirt but I couldn't care more. "Bella? Are you all right? Should I bring some water?" I asked. Maybe she needed something.
She finally blinked her eyes, seeing me now more properly. At least it was a better response than just a shake of head. "What happen?" She asked, but her voice was all wrong. It felt hollow, just like her face is nowadays. Colourless, emotionless. All because of that Cullen. That freaking Edward Cullen! The one person with whom she was badly in live with broke her heart and went away, leaving nothing but a ghost of the real Bella.
Bella looked down and saw herself, how she was holding her. She tried to take deep breathes but failed. She tried to remove her hands from their position but again failed. It looked like if she let her hands fall down, she will too.
"Bella! Talk to me! Do you need rest?" I asked. And it was written all over her face that she needed one. Not just for today, but from her whole misery.
"No!" she gasped. "I am fine." She mumbled, mostly to herself than to me. It felt as if she was trying to order herself to be fine. "Just don't feel like being in this garage anymore for now. Maybe we could use a break and then you can solve this problem of yours." This was what I was afraid of. That she will get bored with me. "Can we watch the telly?" She asked after a minute. I nodded, all the while thinking about how to make her feel better.
Once in the hall, she made herself comfortable in the old couch. I went to the television, switching it in, and gave Bella the remote. "Go ahead and select whatever you want to see." I encouraged her. She smiled a little taking the remote. The first real hint of a true smile. Not the smile which she smiled so many months ago on the beach with me, but a smile. I was happy that I could make her smile. I went in the kitchen to bring something to eat for her. She has already lost so much weight, I don't think she could lose any other.
I brought her bread and butter and put it beside her. She said a thanks as she looked at the sandwich rather than eat it. I encouraged her to eat a sandwich by making her hand one in her hands, but she didn't eat it. She just kept looking at the sandwich as if thinking hard, like solving a calculus solution.
Billy was not in the house today, and for that I was happy. I don't think he would have been able to see Bella breaking down. He always thought of Bella as her own daughter, just like Rachael and Rebecca. Ever since Charlie has told her about Bella's condition since September, both Billy and Charlie were always worrying about her. Always thinking about all the things to make her feel better.
She put the sandwich without even taking a bite and took the remote, shifting from one channel to another. She kept shifting, not stopping at any.
She looked for series, shows, movies, everything other than songs, but didn't find anything to her liking. While she tried to look for the appropriate channel, I looked at her from the corner of my eye. Her hair, which should have been like silk, was like a dead cloth now – tangled and messy and rough. Her eyes were also covered in big dark circles on her pale skin. Her skin looked as pale as of the Cullens. The usual pink which used to be a constant part of her face was now nowhere to be seen. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was sitting with a dead person. That was Bella was now. Almost dead. Working in a robotic mode. Whenever she is with me I feel like I am helping her recovering, as she smiles, she laughs, her cheeks turn a slight not-so-special noticeable pink, but today even that was absent. It was as if she was dying from the inside.
I sighed. My insides boiling with fury for that Cullen. It was just because of him that Bella was suffering so much today. That she couldn't even smile. I wished to get one chance in that boy. To give him the medicine of his own treatment.
She finally settled for Disney channel, where Rapunzel was being played.
"Nothing good is coming!" She exclaimed loudly bringing me back from my reverie. I looked at her with puzzled eyes. Doesn't every girl likes to see fairy tales?
She sensed my gaze as she asked 'what?' I shook my head as I chuckled lightly. "Nothing. I was just wondering that I was wrong about every girl liking fairy tales."
She shook her head again as she told silently that she never liked fairy tales.
"What? You really don't like these fairy tales?" I asked curiously. She shook her head again. "My sisters never used to let me see anything else as they always wanted to see these movies and dad always sided with them." Why can't my sisters be like her and not like these fairy tales too?
"I'll complain to Billy for treating you with partiality." She joked.
I laughed then sighed. "No. Not needed. After all I am the only one who gets to watch the telly now. They both are not coming back in the near future." Not that I know.
"Not at all?" She inquired.
I shrugged with a sigh. "I don't know!" I muttered. "Billy asked them to come and pay him a visit, but they both are making some excuses such as family issues, or flight rates or college problems. But I know it better. They both always hated this place and never want to come back here."
"Never?"
I looked at the television trying go see what all Bella doesn't wants to see while I said, "Um-hmm. After some time he stopped forcing. They talk with us regularly, but never pay a visit. And I can't blame them. If I would have also got a chance, I would have left this rainy place too."
I felt her body shudder. I comforted her by putting my hand on hers, as I comforted myself. At least she wants my company too. "But I will not go." I assured her with her smile. She smiled back but it was not a smile, but a grimace.
We both were silent after that. Both of us listening to the sounds of the chance changing. She seemed to be better now. So I took the risk and decided to ask her after a minute. "Bella? What happen back there? One moment you were fine, and the other you were shaking?"
"Nothing." She mumbled, still looking at the telly, trying to avoid my eyes, I guess. But I could tell she was lying by the way her voice broke minutely. "It was just a terri... just thinking about some stuff."
I knew it. She was thinking about that Cullen. But the worst part was that Bella wasn't classifying his thoughts as terrifying, just normal routine thoughts. God knows what magic has that Edward Cullen done in her?!
We both were silent after that. I didn't want to make it more difficult for her by reminding her something that she doesn't wants to recall. So I found the silence better.
Then i recalled out conversation started from the discussion of fairy tale.
I decided to continue that topic. "Why don't you like fairy tales?" I asked, a little curiously I guess.
"I used to like them, but not anymore. Because not every ending is as pretty as told in them." She explained.
But it was difficult for her to say this. There was something in her mind that was bugging her as her body shuddered again. I put my hand on hers again, to help her find comfort in her best friend.
But this time her body didn't calm. It was hugely active. And her body started to shake again. I put my hands above her shoulder as I brought her in my embrace. I will not let anyone harm you Bella! Never! I chanted in my head.
"You are right." I agreed to her explanation. Not all fairy tales have happy ending. "There are no pretty endings, but it doesn't means that there never will be any." I murmured as I released her slightly shaking body and concentrated on the television, but I was talking about the real life, and most importantly about her. "It just means that something big is waiting for you. Someone who will be worth it, worth of the princess, who will be waiting by the balcony, waiting for her man to come and take her." I said as I smiled slightly. How I wish that I could be that prince for her. The one who will never leave her, always be there for her. Not like that stupid boy.
To my dismay, she shook her head. "Not every time." She protested. "Sometimes, the heart is broken to that extent that no one could stitch it back. That no other person could take the place of the void."
This time I shook my head. "But sometimes, you have to let them do their work. Sometimes you are not just stubborn enough that you think you will never outcome the pain, never willing for the mends, and deal with the misery itself, not let anyone collect the pieces and rebuilt them."
"That's the point about all this. The pieces are so broken that it is almost impossible to attach them. To make it new."
"Sometimes you just have to let them try."
"But it will not work. Not everyone here is Snow White, that one day a prince comes and kisses her and wakes her up from a curse."
"That's the best part of fairy tales. They are predictable."
"But our life is not." She sighed.
One thing was clear now. She wasn't ready to open her wounds further, to not let anyone stitch those open wounds and heal them. But I was for that work and I will try my best to make her heart whole again. At least as a best friend if not as something else, something more.
My mind penetrated to that area, where I imagined both of us together. In that image, she was again whole. Her smile was real, her laughter sounded magical and not a rough sound. She was not pretending anything. She was being herself and there was no misery with her to overtake her. In this imaginary world of mine, we were together and she was past that Edward chapter.
I recalled the 'Romeo And Juliet' that we have been studying in our English. The book where Juliet was broken after the death of Romeo, but Paris looks after her. Paris doesn't takes the place of Romeo, but he helps Juliet overcome her grief. Just like I was doing.
I looked at the cooking show which Bella had finally decided to watch.
I shifted a little so I was facing a not-so-attentive Bella. She was trying to look at the cooking show but her eyes were little glassy, as if she was trying very hard to not think about something. I instantly filled the gaps and knew what she was trying to not think about.
Why was it that Edward Cullen had to still come and ruin my building friendship with Bella when he had left and was never coming back.
"Do you remember the Prince in 'Romeo And Juliet'?" I asked her.
"Yeah!" she mumbled absent-mindly.
"When Romeo dies, Juliet is broken too. But Paris is always with her. Even in her bad times." Just like I want to be with you. Your safe harbour.
"But Paris never took place of Romeo in her life."
"Because Prince didn't want to. He just wanted to fill that void in Juliet's life. He never wanted to take his place."
She was silent and so was I. The best of the cooking show announced the end of it.
I was expecting some kind of debate from her, but it never came. Instead Bella announced. "I guess, I should leave too." My eyes became as large as sockets and my mouth popped open but no sound came.
I was not expecting this. I should have known that this will make her try to escape from me too. "But we can still work in the garage. Quil will be coming in no time." I protested hoping that she decides to stay.
But no such luck!
"I will meet him some another day." She said, her tone emotionless. "Besides, I am planning to prepare this Braciole for Charlie. It will need some time for the preparations." She looked at the wall clock beside the telly. It was not even four. I knew she was trying to find our excuses to leave from here.
She was far too gone in her private bubble to hear me out. I was afraid I have ruined my friendship with her. What if she decides to not come her tomorrow? What if she decided to not spend time with me?
I looked how Bella took her bag and clumsily walked her way out to her truck in the light drizzle. She was getting wet, but she was far from noticing it.
I was still afraid and thinking about Bela when Billy came from the hospital after Harry's health check-up.
He saw me looking devastated. "What happen Jake?" He knew Bella would be here, but she was nowhere to be found. "Where is Bella?"
"She left!" I muttered.
"What do you mean by she left?" he asked cautiously.
"I am afraid she will not come tomorrow. That I have ruined my friendship with her." I exclaimed.
"I am sure that is not the case Jake. I wager she has some another issues. You can call her later to check on her." I nodded reluctantly as I stood up to bring a new pair of clothes for Billy to change in.
Billy talked with Charlie about today and told her that Bella may not be fine today. The answer of Charlie was like throwing a pebble on my face. "I hope she is not worse Billy. She has started to talk, to be herself, even if to an extent. I cannot see her in that empty state again." His voice broke on the last words. Billy tried to console her and was successful to a little.
I called Bella at night, to check on her.
"Hey Bella!"
"Hey Jacob!" Bella gushed in her usual voice, as usual as it is now.
"I wanted to say sorry for today –"
She cut in. "For what?"
"For upsetting you." I explained.
"It was nothing Jake. I told you I... I was fine. Stop worrying."
"Okay. So what time are you coming tomorrow?"
"If you are not fed up of me, then I will be by your house at the same time."
I laughed. "I will never get bored of you. You can count on that." But Bella didn't say anything, as if she didn't believe me.
"Okay, bye Jake."
"Bye Bella." I murmured and the call ended.
At least I knew Bella was fine and she was going to come tomorrow.
The door bell rang. I opened the door to a very happy Quil.
We talked and ate and worked on Bella's motorcycle, all the while I was hoping that Bella doesn't gets fed up of me.
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