A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Everything in this chapter describing the buildings and Tokyo setting are all what I saw while visiting there at the New Sanno. So it IS real. And how is my story confusing? Just a question…

I couldn't help but feel as if I had fainted when I opened my eyes. But one look down at my hand confirmed that I had.

I certainly didn't look like the kind of person who had just won a lot of money. (I can't read the amount because I hate math.) I had soda spilled down my shirt because in the process of fainting, I had forgotten to close the bottle. I still had my clothes mismatched in that 'I'm a moron' look. But maybe I was meant to be rich from the start!

I looked up at the sky and smiled, closing my eyes in prayer. But at this opportune moment, a bird decided to fly by and excrete it's waste on my head.

Groaning, I opened my eyes and wiped it off of my head with my sleeve, watching as people walked by, grimacing at me. No one offered to help because I live in a box and I look like a hobo.

Being the moron that I was, I held out my bottle cap to show everyone and stuck my tongue out at those who grimaced. This seemed to change things as they began to simply look away.

"Thank you."

I looked up to see a man very similar to the one from the elevator.

"Thank you? For what?". I questioned, throwing him a look of confusion.

"For the bottle cap." He reached down and grabbed it from me. "It'll really help my already-rich family, don't you think?"

"No I don't!" I jumped up and reached for the bottle cap, ending up on my butt after he pushed me away.

"You smell horrible." He plugged his nose with his thumb and index finger to demonstrate his distaste in my new 'all-the-rage' bird crap fashion statement.

"Personally, I think it could be the new pink." I got back up and grabbed his hand with the bottle cap and stepped closer to him. "But unless you let me have this bottle cap… you'll have to smell me."

"That wouldn't bother me at all if only you'd get rid of the bird shit."

"Can't do that unless you let me have some money." I smiled at him and slowly pried his fingers from the cap and pulled it out, kissing him on the lips to distract him. "Thank you for your service, kind sir."

He simply stared at me as I dashed off, racing him off the road without truly needing to. Hopefully I'd never see him again, but now that I was rich, didn't that mean I'd have to work with some fellow wealthy-folk?

Not that it mattered. As soon as I had the bottle cap cashed in, I'd be rich without any flaw. He'd never be able to take all of my money from me then. Unless… life was by chance like a soap opera…

Not that my life was too far from that…

I looked down at my soda-stained shirt and then breathed in, smelling the stench of white do-do and decided that I most certainly was not in a soap opera.

"Move little girl."

I looked behind me and saw a disgruntled (My vocabulary changes sometimes) old man, clambering about behind me.

"Why can't you just walk around me?"

He stared at me with one huge eye, the other one small and shriveled up.

"Because the line to McDonalds is very long."

I glanced beside me and realized that the line was backed up all the way to me. Dreaded small fast food resturaunts. You'd think that a society so concerned with America's economy would at least make their replica fast food places bigger to match America's. Damn, it was like a scale model of the real thing.

"Are you going to move, or stand there all day?"

I sighed and started to walk. "I'm walking, I'm walking", I threw over my shoulder. Glancing at him, I realized that he had a hard time walking. "Do you need help?"

He looked at me. His face looked pained, and I couldn't for the life of me understand. I had never been strong in empathy, but perhaps I could show its sister—sympathy.

"Help… would be nice… I live near the new Sanno Hotel."

I smiled and locked my arm around his, taking his cane from him.

"Then perhaps on the way, we should skip and hum while imagining unicorns and a rainbow?"

"I'd just like for you to help me home." He glared at me and stole the cane back, hobbling away from my side and walking forward. I easily matched my pace to his and looked around.

"Isn't it a long walk?"

"It's just around the corner, wench."

I blinked and grabbed his hand, dragging him behind me.

"Let's speed it up! I see the gym, which means we can't be too far from the New Sanno."

He sighed and let me drag him the rest of the way down the street, past innocent school children. And as always, I got a kick out of the stupid spray-painted message on the over-pass walkway near the hotel. It said: 'Stay away from OUR women!' It was supposed to be a frightening message from the Japanese teenage men to the American men. I just found it funny. But I'm a rare Japanese woman.

"So you love at the New Sanno or near?"

"I live across from it near the embassy."

Nodding, I continued to drag the old man down the street. People were all over the place, even a girl observing herself in a store window.

The new Sanno was a huge military hotel. You needed a military ID to get in and after you got inside, everything was elegant and nice. I was only in there once on a stupid second grade field trip, but I did get to learn what all of these tourist hotels look like.

"Are you done holding onto my arm?"

I looked at the man and released my grip, smiling sheepishly.

"My bad. So you live in that…" I stopped talking to gawk at the mansion this man lived in. He was just like me. Rich.

"Yes I do, and thanks for the help. Good bye young lady."

He bowed and walked across the street gracefully, as if he had been pretending to be un able to walk.

"Hey wait a minute, you old geezer! You were ACTING?"

I watched his body shake with laughter as he gracefully slipped inside his huge front doors. I was played by a player. That's not cool!

I glanced down at my out fit and sighed. It would figure that I'd get tricked. I was the moron of the year. Looking the part and everything… fascinating…

I turned and hobbled down the street. I wasn't sure where exactly I could turn in the bottle cap at, but I figured it would do me well to start at the nearest 7 Eleven. Luckily, this part of Tokyo was less crowded than mainstream Tokyo, and finding the 7 Eleven took close to no time at all.

"Konnichiwa!" the greeting never ceased to startle me whenever I walked into an American-based facility here in Japan. They decided that a formal greeting would be a great way to show friendliness, but it sometimes just scared the hell out of the customer.

"Konnichiwa", I mumbled in response as I walked towards them. "I have something… to cash in…"

The lady smiled at me.

"And what might it be?"

I produced the bottle cap from my pocket and laid it out in front of both of us.

"That."

She picked it up and stared at it for a moment.

"Counterfeit?" She glanced at me.

"No… I don't believe it is… I found it on a bottle, I swear…"

She nodded. "I suppose someone does have to win, huh?"

I nodded. "So where is the money…?"

"I'll call the manager, and you need to check out a list of all the conditions we refuse to print on the bottle."

"There are always strings attached?"

"That seems to be the case." She bent down and furrowed through a cupboard, straightening back up and handing me a yellow packet. "Read it over and I'll call you back up here once the manager arrives."

I sighed and walked to the bench by the front door, reading everything else I had suddenly inherited. It wasn't any money that I had to pay or anything, but it came with many other prizes I had no desire for.

A year supply of Viagra, for instance.

What would I do with that when I don't indulge myself in those activities?

"miss, she's back."

I looked up and stepped over towards the girl from before and a new lady of many years. She seemed to be decaying as we spoke, but I'd been working with people from prehistoric times for a month. She was nothing compared to that.

"The winner of our contest, eh? Nice to meet you, lucky… dog…" She was staring at my entourage, which I did nothing to correct even under her antagonizing gaze.

"Yes. But if you think I'm the dog, you haven't met my cousin yet…"

"And I don't wish to. Here, I'll unlock the vault with the money and give it to you along with the cards for everything else you've earned and a key to your new house."

"You've bought a house for me?"

"It was a part of the competition." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Oh… Okay then, that satisfies me." As long as it's far from her and her attitude, I suppose.

I watched as she wobbled her blubbery path behind the door into the back storage room. She was big—That was certain. Her fat hung over in jelly-rolls simply adding to her ancient look. I sometimes wondered if people like her knew they looked that way. I mean, I have nothing against her weight or age, but it's ridiculous to be so obviously disproportioned and still form your attire with too-tight white T-shirts and jeans of faded white and blue that end at your knees rather than at your feet, where they should be.

Adjusting my thoughts from what seemed outright disgusting, I watched her wobble back into my immediate view.

"Take it, be grateful, yadda yadda. I have nothing important to say to you other than be wise."

I nodded and bowed, tired of her crinkly face that even smelt like paper.

Burnt paper.

I turned on my heel and left silently, not sparing the pair another glance. I was tired of my life and ready to get moved in to a nice house.

Pulling out the card, I was barely able to keep myself stable, tripping over sewer covers and the feet of teenage girls just getting out from school. It was lunch break, and I was starving. But I had no time for that. Not right now, anyway.

New Sanno. For some reason I felt slight deja vougue while walking down the brick streets, silently noting that it was raining on the other half of the street, but not mine. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. And lady luck seemed to have switched under dogs.

Silently I marched on down the street looking for my new home stead where I could only hope I'd find everlasting solace. At least then I wouldn't have to live a moronic existence in public. I'd have my own personal caretakers before I was 70 and in a nursing home.

"Excuse me." I blinked at the dark, sullen voice and turned to face a pale girl with stunning blue-ish silver locks and dull eyes.

"Ah… is this The Exorcist or something? You're starring daggers into my back…" My voice was crackly and hardly that convincing tone of 'I'm-bigger-than-you' malice that had played through my head.

"You do not remember me?" She blinked and stared at me with those never-faltering eyes that were almost holes. In turn, I shook my head quickly. "I am Khanna… how could you forget me when you used to date my older brother?"

Now I understood why those dull rabbit holes had seemed so familiar. And I was relieved to know that I wasn't Peter Rabbit in a past life, having a vivid memory of something dreadful.

Where the hell did that comment come from?

"Oh, hello Khanna. I should have known it was you… where's that bastard of a brother that you have?"

"He's in the express store getting something he claimed was important for his date tonight."

I clicked my tongue in disgust, wondering how a man could subject such a small child to perverted antics.

"He still wears an extra small, right?" I watched as she raised a microscopic thin eyebrow barely half of a centimeter.

"Extra small what?"

"No, dear, never mind that. You really don't need to know." I waved my hand to add dramatic effect, hoping that he'd walk out and save me from explanations. But of course, she was smart and dropped the subject.

"Can I ask you something… totally personal and girl-to-girl? It's just that... with brother having a different girl every month, I never get to bond… and I liked you the most…"

I smiled to encourage her, not sure where my moronic self had gone.

"How do you decide who is good enough to be your boyfriend?"

My weakest spot, seeing as her brother was my last boyfriend, and my first. I was bad at picking the guys out.

"Well… just see… if they're anything like what your dream guy is… Test it, ya know?" I watched her turn her head slightly as her eyes seemed to glaze over a little at the sight of an emo kid, bobbing his head to really loud music in his Ipod. "Test it, Khanna."

Perhaps I really should have just asked her what she was looking for, because it turns out that what I said hit her a little too literally.

I watched as she marched up to the boy, pulling his ear phones off of his head and pushing him against the brick wall of a near by sushi restaurant.

"K-Khanna!"

She bent her head low to his neck and bit him. I could see and smell the blood as she broke his skin and then pulled back, staring into the eyes of a frightened young boy.

"What was that for, you witch?"

"I wanted to know if you were a vampire… I suppose you are not…" With that said, she turned away from him and pushed her way back to me. I watched as he flicked her off and ran up ahead, probably to report a rabid carrying female.

"You want a vampire?" I was dumbfounded inside and out.

"Well… yes. I've always read those vampire romance stories, and they just seem… so…" She sighed dramatically, as if she was love-sick. I never imagined she could ever feel that way. I mean, she barely even seemed human.

"Right… well… I smell your brothers stench so I'd imagine he's-", a hand was quickly clamped over my mouth as the mentioned man lowered his head to my ear and whispered softly.

"Naraku is here, and I don't wish to hear you bashing me."

I bit his hand and turned to look at him.

"Mr. Stench is here, so I'm leaving now, Khanna. Don't bite anymore boys, okay?" She nodded and waved to me as I stumbled on ahead to my new house.

I still sensed deja vougue, but that was becoming normal by now. Part of me felt as if it had been here only moments before…

That old geezer! HE lived here!

Shaking, I ran all the way down the road and stopped outside the front gate of his mansion. It was then that I realized it was not only his front gate, but the front gate of three huge mansions, connected by one single brick bridge! One of those mansions happened to be mine!

Even though I was oddly distracted by the subject that lived here near me, I couldn't help but notice the Victorian beauty. The windows were curved and curtained with deep red silk, while the stone-carved structure itself bore no flaws. Up above the main body was a gutter of the sorts near the attic, which housed many stone monuments of dragons and gargoyles. It was like a castle in the modern era-and I was in love! Who scared if a stinky, rotting old man lived next door! I'd never give this huge thing up!

I stared at a small card I had been handed and read the labels and numbers. It contained a code for the gate, which I typed in excitedly. I was finally going to live the American dream—only not in America!

Enthralled by the lush gardens and bright green grass, I stumbled my way down the winding sidewalk to my front entrance. A pure gold lion-molded knocker awaited my hand as slowly I banged it against the oak surface.

"Ah", spoke an old woman as she opened the door. "We have been waiting for your arrival." I smiled at her and stepped inside.

"Its so beautiful!" I stared at all of the embroidered furniture and sighed in ecstasy. It was the place I wanted back when I was younger.

"Yes… Well, your two neighbors have invited you over for dinner later if you are feeling up to it. That is all I have to tell you. Now follow me to your room and bathroom. You must get prepared."

I rushed to her and followed as she led me up a flight of stairs and twisted the knob of a bigger room.

"Thank you miss…?"

"Kaede. I will be here if you need me. Your bathroom is near the window and your wardrobe is… well, in the wardrobe. And please do not come back downstairs for that dinner this evening in that get-up. You look like a cat dragged you in."

I frowned.

"Aren't you supposed to hold your tongue?"

"You're rich, not royalty. But don't get me wrong, I don't dislike you. I just don't think it would be right if you graced the prince and the business major in garbs of the sort you have on now."

I nodded and prayed that the prince was nothing like that old geezer from before. Watching as she retreated, I slowly made my way to the wardrobe. It would be fun, yes?

Well I sure hope so.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I descended the stairs in a white kimono. I didn't feel like messing around with anything else when I had this simple outfit to get me by. Kaede led me down the hall way and opened the door to a part of the connecting bridge.

"You will be eating at the Tashiou's place tonight along with the prince. It's much more convenient that way."

I nodded and continued to tip toe behind her.

And as planned, I didn't make a grand entrance. No one even lifted their head upon my arrival. So I simply took a seat near the old man from before.

"Oh… well hello young lady that helped me walk home safely today." Now everyone looked up at me.

Two men I had seen somewhere before… both with gold eyes and silver hair… and then a man I didn't recognize with brown hair pulled into a pony tail and eyes much like Khanna's.

"Hello, old hag.", I managed to mumble, sending him a clenched grin. I wasn't happy to be seeing him again.

"You let the herpes lady help you home?"

I stared in disbelief at the taller man with silver hair. He was from the elevator! And the other man was from the wide walk!

I turned my head to the darker man, but nothing seemed to register in my mind. A blind spot in my memory?

"My name is Kagome", I mumbled again.

"And I am Sesshoumaru, but still I shall refer to you as Herpes girl. It is what you have, correct?"

"It was a damn joke!"

This time the shorter one edged in his consensus.

"I wanna call her bird-shit girl."

I glared at him and stood up.

"Bastard!"

"My name is InuYasha, but bastard is my middle name, if that makes you happy." He gave me a cocky grin as I watched him nudge the other, darker, man in the ribs.

"I'm Kouga." Kouga turned his head towards InuYasha. "I call dibs…", he whispered a little too loud.

"No, I have dibs!"

Both boys stood up and walked around each other in circles, growling. It was like some stupid show on TV or something. I could see it now!

On the next episode of InuYasha: Kouga seems dead-set on having Kagome, or killing InuYasha to get her all to himself. So until then, The Man Who Fell in Love With Kagome! C ya next time!

It would be terrifying, but very possible.

Eventually, the two men threw themselves at each other clawing away at their faces, not caring that I was not the only woman here. To the side of the elder man was a young, beautiful lady with black hair that was cut short. I wanted to ask her her name but I was too shy at the moment in which I seemed to have caught attention.

The one time I didn't want it, I got it.

"Is there a possibility that I can leave and watch TV now?"

The older ones looked up at me.

"Why not?" I smiled and walked away, totally forgetting that I was actually supposed to eat with them.

Oh well. I'll keep it my dirty little secret.

Who has to know?

A/N: Kind of boring and stuff. I was trying to actually make fun of some clichéd plots in a normal Sess/Kag story, though. Sorry if it just made MY story clichéd. Just thought it would add humor to a rather humorless chapter. I was depressed when I wrote this chapter. Sorry.