Title: Things Lost Along the Way

Author: 3rokenS0ul

Summery: The story of Jack and the Mercers… It starts when Jack meets the Mercers and continues on through and after the movie, though Jack does not die. It's pretty much my take on Jack and his life, before and after the Mercers.

Warnings: There will be many. This story deals with mature subjects such as abuse (physical and sexual), drugs, violence, mental disturbance, course language and a relationship between two men in later chapters.

Authors note: I want to thank you all so much for your kind reviews they are VERY much appreciated. To answer your questions, yes I will be including Jack's history throughout the story. I didn't want to give TOO much away in the very beginning. I really hope you're all enjoying the story and the next part will be up soon!! I've been writing nonstop and have tons of ideas. If you have any suggestions or ideas you'd like to share feel free to let me know. Thanks again for the comments, I love them all!!

I have read books about abuse and will be using information and ideas from the following. . A Child Called IT, A Rock and a Hard Place, Murphy's Boy and Wayne. I will also follow the characters in the movie as best I can; I feel they were good as is. Well enough rambling, I really do hope you all enjoy. Thank you!

Chapter 2 - Hands open

Jack sat in the bathroom trying to collect himself enough to get up off the tiled floor and go back to his room. He hadn't even had to use the toilet; he was just desperate for some space and solitude. Jack took deep breaths and counted to a hundred before finally leaving the floor. He flushed the toilet just in case anyone was listening outside the door to make sure he was really going to the bathroom and not looting the medicine cabinets. He built up enough courage to open the door and was relived to find Bobby wasn't there waiting for him.

He crept silently into what he was told was 'his' room and inspected it more closely. He noticed a marble notebook and a pencil set atop the shelf above his bed. It had his name on it, so he assumed it was his. He snatched up the book and ran to the door to close it.

'I hope I'm allowed to close it. They didn't say not to. Maybe I should leave it open'

After a moments debate he decided to leave it and went to sit on the bed. There was a soft checkered blanket that smelled like spring flowers across the end of his bed. He laid it on his lap and opened the notebook. There were no words written inside, just blank pages. He wrote a few lines before he heard the faint sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. He hurried to hide the notebook under his pillow, he didn't want it to get taken away. The footsteps were heavy and surely didn't belong to the old lady. He flinched when he heard a knock on his door.

'I shouldn't have shut it, shit.'

He waited for the person on the other side to burst through and start screaming.

Downstairs 20 minutes earlier

Bobby leaned in the doorway of the kitchen and smiled at his mother as she moved around the kitchen. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing in here. Her hair was tightly curled today and she wore little makeup. She had a pretty pale blue blouse that matched her eyes. She looked like an angel, she was and angel. Bobby loved this woman so much.

"What's for dinner? It smells great." He asked.

"We are having chicken. Did you get Jack settled in his room?"

"Yeah, I showed him the room. He seemed to like it, but I'm not sure." After a slight pause Bobby continued. "He's a weird one Ma', doesn't talk much."

"No he doesn't, but that doesn't mean he's weird. He's just adjusting; you know how difficult it can be to move into a new home Bobby. He's been through more than most; he's not like my usual cases."

"What does that mean?" Bobby's interest was piqued.

"I'll explain later." She quickly changed the subject. "Angel will be home soon. Jerry is spending the weekend at Camille's.. . . I'll miss him, but I'm glad they are getting married; it's nice to see my boys happy. I am excited about the wedding." She looked at Bobby and touched his cheek. "You have all grown up into such good boys."

"Yeah we're real saints' ma'."

They were both laughing as Angel walked in the room like a whirlwind. His mouth was moving a mile a minute.

"Hey Bobby, Mom. What's so funny? Mmm, something smells good. What is for dinner? I'm starving. Oh, did the new kid get here, he's coming today right?"

"Hello to you too dear. Which question would you like me to answer fist?" Evelyn laughed.

"Huh? Oh yeah, Bobby are we playing today?"

Bobby shook his head at his younger brother. "Yeah, after dinner."

"Nice, so where is the new kid?"

"His names Jack and he's upstairs somewhere." Bobby replied.

"What's he like?"

"Quiet, twitchy, kinda' weird."

"Is he retarded or somethin'?"

"That's enough you two, that is no way to talk about him. He's not retarded; he just needs a little time to adjust and a big brother (or three). I expect you boys to be nice to him and look out for him like you do each other." She gave a pointed look to Bobby who just nodded.

"Sorry Ma'." They both replied.

She nodded. "Could you do me a favor Angel and set the table?"

Angel nodded and went to the cabinets to take out the good dishes. He bumped Bobby on his way to the dining room just to be annoying. Bobby was ready to retaliate when Evelyn spoke again.

"Dinner will be ready any minute. Bobby, could you please tell Jack we are going to be eating soon?"

"Yeah sure."

Bobby knocked on the bedroom door, but the kid didn't answer. This didn't really surprise him much. He called through the door a little impatiently.

"Hey Jack, dinner is ready. Come down when you're done in there."

"Ok" Was softly spoken through the door and that was good enough for Bobby.

Jack however was shocked, instead of having the door swung open and being screamed at for having it shut to begin with, he was just invited to dinner.

'Maybe this place is different. . . Don't be stupid. You're so stupid Jack. It's no different; these people will hate you just like all the others. They will see your evil and then you will be punished.'

Jack shook away his thoughts and went down and into the kitchen. He was hit with a pleasant scent. It smelled like heaven, spices and sweets danced in the air around his nose. It was warm and noisy, but not in a bad way. Evelyn was juggling pots and pans while the oven timer beeped loudly. Conversations from the other room could be heard, but not clearly.

Jack looked into the dining room and saw an unfamiliar face. A young black man was sitting there, talking to Bobby and glancing back at Jack. This unnerved him a little so he looked down at the floor avoiding eye contact. He didn't know what else to do.

"I am glad you decided to join us Jackie, I made chicken. I have other stuff though if you don't like that and we have cookies baking for dessert. "Her voice was soothing and he looked up at her to see if her face matched it. It did. That was strange.

"Angel why don't you come over here. You weren't here when Jack arrived." Stating the obvious, she smiled sweetly to the young boy. "Jack I'd like you to meet my youngest Angel."

"Hey, how's it goin'? You're going to have fun here and it will be nice not being the youngest"

Angel laughed at his own statement and held out his hand, but Jack didn't take it. He squirmed a little and whispered "Hello."

'What does he mean by fun? What kind of fun?'

After an awkward moment Evelyn led the boys to the dining room and set some food down on the table. She went to go get the main course leaving Jack standing in the doorway chewing his finger nail.

Angel knew what Bobby had meant now. It was kind of creepy the way he just stood there shifting from foot to foot not looking at anyone.

Bobby watched Jack stand anxiously for a moment before speaking.

"Why don't you just sit down?"

Jack snapped out of his daze and took the seat next to Angel, away from Bobby. Luckily it was also next to Evelyn's. He was glad about this, but he didn't know why. Dinner was pleasant, but quite uncomfortable for Jack. He had nothing to say and he didn't want to talk. So he listened to stories about school, hockey, work and someone called La Vita Loca, or something. They talked about Jerry, but Jack hadn't met him so he didn't know what to say when Evelyn told him they would get along great. How would she know? Jack found out she worked as a counselor and a part time nurse at the hospital and according to Angel had some crazy stories.

They all seamed to be happy, but Jack he was far from it. He didn't even know what it felt like to be happy anymore. Sure the food was amazing and the conversation wasn't too pressuring, but he just felt misplaced and he knew that he really didn't belong there. He didn't fit into their lives, he was a burden. They would see how evil and dirty he really was and get rid of him as fast as they could. Even if they did turn out to be nice, they would never want him. He gave it a month, three tops before they kicked his sorry ass out the door. Jack dreaded the other outcome. The one where they keep him even after discovering he was a no good piece of shit. That is when the punishments and beating would begin. He didn't think they would do anything more than beat him, but he'd been mistaken before. He physically shuddered at just the thought. He'd rather be in a group home if that was the case. He started to feel sick, but tried to eat anyway.

Bobby watched Jack as he picked at his food and pushed it around in his plate. He seemed to be lost somewhere in his thoughts and they didn't look pleasant. The kid looked so uncomfortable, sick even. Bobby wondered what he could possibly be thinking about, he seemed so sad. This for some very strange reason troubled Bobby, which pissed him off. He didn't like being upset; he didn't handle that emotion very well at all. He had to snap the kid out of it for his own selfish reasons and maybe for Jack's sake too.

"So Jack do you like your room?" Everyone went silent as Bobby asked. Jack's head snapped up and he nodded warily, he felt cornered.

"Good, I'm glad. I put in a shelf above the bed and fixed the door… It used to be my room a long time ago. I think I was about your age actually. I broke the door one night and it used to never close right after that." Bobby laughed.

"Yeah I remember that! You were in there with Sta-"

"Ehem." Evelyn cleared her throat to interrupt. "Angel that's enough of that story. It's not dinner conversation."

"Ah, mom you know it was funny."

Bobby just shook his head. "Good memories in that room." He looked toward Jack and noticed he looked even sadder than before. Damn it, this kid.

"So Jack do you like hockey?"

Jack didn't look at him, he just shrugged.

"We have a game after dinner, do you want to come?"

'Why are you asking me so many questions, can't you just leave me alone?'

Jack shrugged again.

"Can you skate?"

Jack seemed annoyed as he shook his head.

"I'll teach you, but you can just come and watch today. Do you want to?"

Jack chewed on his lip before shrugging.

"Come on kid, I know you can talk. I heard you. So why don't you just answer the question?"

Jack panicked and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Bobby, let it be." Evelyn spoke firmly.

Jack lowered his head and whispered and apology as he crossed his arms around himself.

Bobby got his temper in check after Evelyn's warning and sighed. This was going to take finesse and a little patience, Bobby didn't have much of either.

"No Jack I'm sorry. You don't have to say a word, but really if you want to come with us to the game let me know. You can write me a note or something, just like the girls do in grade school."

Angel snickered and Evelyn glared at his comment. Bobby just shrugged and got up to clear his plate. Jack just wanted to run and hide, he wasn't really used to conversing with people who wanted to know so much. People didn't care about what he wanted or had to say. Tracy had, but she was gone forever. Generally when he was asked questions it usually led to bad things. He hated when people asked him stuff.

'Can't he just leave me alone, asshole?'

"Uhmm Ms. Mercer? Can I go to, um. Can I-I go upstairs?" Damn stutter, thought Jack. He couldn't calm his nerves enough to speak clearly.

"Sure and please call me Evelyn sweetie."

Jack apologized and practically leapt from his seat and dashed up the stairs.

"Are you sure he's not retarded mom?"

"Yes Angel, I'm positive. Be nice or no seeing Sofi for a week. Jack is just a little overwhelmed."

"A little?" Bobby grumbled.

"Ok so maybe he's very emotional, but he'll come around." She hoped.

"We'll see Ma'." Bobby laughed and patted her shoulder. "Angel hurry up and get your shit together, time to go play some hockey! I'm going to grab my stick, meet me in the car."

As he passed by Jack's door he lingered for a moment when he heard a strange noise. It sounded like Jack was crying. He almost wanted to knock or go inside to see if he was ok, but ignored the urge. Bobby hurried to his room and changed quickly while trying not to pay attention to the peculiar twinge of pain deep inside his gut.

"You better be ready Angel!" He tossed Angel's stick to his unprepared brother who barely caught it.

"Jackass."

"Don't you break anything! That includes bones. You boys be careful out there and stay out of trouble. For once?"

"Don't worry Ma' we'll be fine and no trouble. We'll be home in a little while."

They rushed out into the cold and drove off, leaving Evelyn alone with Jack. Only he wasn't really there either, he was hidden away in his room. She knew he'd probably spend a lot of time in there. She only hoped her boys would bring him out of his shell and a little love goes a long way. If only it were enough to sure years of abuse.

She plated three cookies and poured some milk into a glass. She took out the serving tray she used long ago when her boys were sick. She carried them upstairs and knocked on the Jack's door.

"Sweetie, it's Evelyn. I left some cookies and milk outside your door if you'd like some. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

Jack waited a moment and opened the door when he felt it was clear and pulled the tray inside. The cookies looked delicious and tasted better than anything he'd ever eaten in his entire life. After stuffing two in his mouth and enjoying the last as long as he could he guzzled down the milk.

He laid down and hummed to himself. He felt better than he had in a while, not quite happy, but he didn't feel upset either. So far this place wasn't bad, they seemed nice enough. At least they weren't mean or cruel, yet. He tried not to get his hopes too high though, or look on the bright side. He knew he's be left in the dark no matter what. It was the way it was, it was what he deserved. He was evil and he needed to be punished. He desperately tried not to think about his past, but it always seemed to happen anyway, despite his efforts. After looking over every event in his mind twice and tossing and turning in the bed Jack finally fell into a restless sleep.

It was dark and cold. It was his fifth week at the Barren's house and he'd been sent down into the basement two days ago by an angry bitter woman. Jack can't remember the last time he ate and the pains in his stomach are unbearable. The scars from the last place he had been staying had finally begun to heal, only to have new ones made to replace them. Doris Barren was a loud woman with frizzed black hair and misshapen eyebrows. Her shrill voice was ear piercing and she had deep wrinkled covering her blotched face. Her teeth and fingers were yellowed from smoking too many cigarettes and she carried around a long wooden cane. Which scared Jack, because she'd hit him with it when he misbehaved. She knocked him unconscious one time and he still doesn't remember what he had done wrong.

The basement floor was damp and smelled like urine. He would be in trouble for that, but he had to relive himself somewhere. That was the reason for the mess he was in. He hadn't asked permission to leave the room and his smart mouth. He had only wanted to go to the restroom and he was angry this was a problem. He shouldn't have said anything, but he was stupid. He knew he was stupid. Mr. Barren told him every day just how worthless and stupid he was.

"You retarded little bastard, why do you have to piss her off? You deserve what you get, because you're fucking stupid!"

Jack was curled up on the cold cement floor shivering and clutching his empty cramping stomach. He prayed for death to come, but it didn't. Only the devil, Mrs. Barren. She finally let him out later that day. He cried for food and was forced to eat week old scraps from the garbage and was told he didn't even deserve that. When he vomited he was beaten bloody with the cane and left on the kitchen floor crying and still hungry. He crept over to the can and searched for more food. He didn't find anything but a rotted pear core, brown banana peels and some red slime that smelled awful.

"What do you think you doing?! I'll kill you, you worthless little bastard!"

He scrambled backwards on the floor and screamed. "I-I'm s-s-sorry!! No! Please, stop!"

"You evil little shit! No wonder no one wants you. Even your parents hated you. You're a piece of trash that no one wants! No one will ever love you because you're an evil, dirty little bastard!

Jack woke with a startled gasp, covered in cold sweat and shaking like a leaf. The painful words from his dreams were ringing in his ears loudly. He could hardly breathe and cruel hateful words played over and over in his mind. They had hurt so much more than any thrashing had. His stomach turned and he nearly threw up his dinner. He beat the palms of his hands against the side of his head and cried silently to himself until the only thing he could hear was his heart thumping.

'It was just a nightmare you pussy, get over it. Only nightmares aren't real and that actually happened. You're being stupid, just forget about it. Block it out. God I need to get high.'

Jack tried unsuccessfully for two hours to fall back asleep, but the images from his dream were still fresh in his mind. Though sleep was the least of his problems at the moment, Jack had to pee and he was in complete disarray. He tried to ignore the feeling for nearly an hour, but no use. He didn't want to leave the safety of his room, that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. Even the thought of leaving sent a wave of panic crashing through him. Eventually the feeling faded and he passed out from sheer exhaustion. Only this dream wasn't as pleasant as the last.

The man loomed over him and spoke in a soft comforting voice.

"I'm sorry I hit you baby, you know how I hate to hurt you. You're so precious, but sometimes you're just such a bad little boy and you know how I get mad when you're naughty."

"Sorry." Jack cried gently as tears flowed down his cheeks. The man wiped his face and stroked his hair.

"I know you are, but you have to make it up to me if you want me to be your Daddy still. You want a Daddy don't you? Do you want me to love you Jackie? I'll love you if you're a good boy." The mans hand began to travel down his arm and lower.

Jack woke up screaming and flailing about, wrestling with his memory. He stopped and stayed completely still as he felt a warm wetness spread around his lower region. His body was twitching uncontrollably and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't catch his breath. He closed his eyes as tight as he could, trying to block out the images. They didn't fade and he gave up trying when he began to see white spots.

'No, no anything but this. Please, why?'

He wanted to vomit or cry, maybe both. Thirteen fucking years old and he's still wetting the bed like a baby. He was pathetic; he deserved the punishment that was surely coming. Though, at the thought of punishment he started crying harder and started pulling the blankets off the bed. His heart jumped in his throat when he heard a knock on the door. His stomach twisted as the doorknob did.

Of course it was Bobby, the last person on Earth that Jack wanted to see. He didn't want Bobby to witness his shame or to see his weakness' and he really didn't want Bobby to be the one to punish him. He braced himself for the first blow and covered his face with his hands and begged.

"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry. P-please don't hurt me!" Jack was hysterical.

Bobby didn't know how to respond to that. He was not made to deal with situations such as this. The kid, Jack was crying his heart out in front of him and he had no other reaction besides shock. He had heard him screaming from his room and decided to check on him and make sure he was ok. This is not what he had expected. A teenage boy in tears who had wet the bad was actually the LAST thing he'd expected. The kid looked mortified, horrified and angry. Probably with himself, but maybe not. Bobby had to say something, do something, anything to calm Jack down.

He took a step closer, but Jack backed up against the wall. "Hey, hey it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll just go get Ma', don't worry." He spoke as if he were talking to a wild animal that he had cornered. This was just way too much for him, so he rushed downstairs. It was nearly morning and Evelyn was an early riser. As Bobby suspected she was awake and filling out paperwork on a new case she had at work.

"Ma'?"

"Yes Bobby? My you are up early, is there something wrong?" She noticed the look on his face and stood instantly.

"It's nothing too bad, Jack is having a fit and I don't know how to deal with it. He's too scared of me, so I think you might want to handle this one."

"Oh my." Evelyn rushed to Jack's room and nearly cried when she was saw the state he was in. The boy had had an accident and seemed to be very distraught, crying and shaking badly. She approached him slowly and spoke very softly with a gentle voice.

"Jackie honey, please don't cry. It's alright, accidents happen and they are only sheets. They will be good as new after a wash and I have others you can use in the meantime. Please calm down, it's really alright."

Jack was shocked. She wasn't mad?

"I-I'm not going to be p-punished?"

"No sweetie, of course not. You did nothing wrong." Jack just stared at her disbelieving. She held her hands open.

"Jackie. I know bad things happened to you before you came to me." She spoke firmly when he looked down letting bad memories sweep him away. "Hey, look at me." Jack's eyes were wide and full of fear, but her voice was soothing. "You're safe now." He couldn't look away now if he tried. She moved timidly as to not scare him and kissed his forehead before picking up the blankets. "Why don't you go get washed up and I'll bring you up some breakfast in a little bit? Jack nodded.

Evelyn smiled and said "Everything will be alright Jackie" before she left the room. Jack really wanted to believe her; he desperately wanted to be able to trust this woman. She seemed so sweet and like she may actually care about him.

'Your wrong, she doesn't care about you and she never will. She just pities you because you're a pathetic little baby. After this you'll be out in a week, you fucked up'

He wanted everything to be alright, but he didn't know if he could count on Evelyn's word alone so he pushed the feelings of longing away and wiped his face. He didn't need anyone else seeing him like this, he still had to live with himself and that was hard enough to do as it was.

While in the shower he tried to block out the entire incident, he was so embarrassed and livid with himself. Damn it. What would Bobby think of him now and why were Evelyn's words getting to him so much? It wasn't like he hadn't heard them all before, more than once. It was just the way she said them that made him feel strange inside. Maybe she was telling him the truth? Why did he even care what Bobby thought?

TBC.. .

Ok so yeah, I went there. Let me know what you think, please. I love when people judge what I do, it thrills me and I get motivation to please you all with more writing. If you like it that is. . . I like reviews, please leave them and thank you for all those who have done so. I hope you enjoyed, the next will be up shortly.