Title: Insight
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Through S5
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, much as I wish.
Archive: Sure, but ask first
Feedback: Always appreciated
Notes: As I said before, I'm not a doctor and I don't know how much of this is factually correct; if anyone has any suggestions on how I can make it more realistic, please let me know. I should also point out that the Josh/Leo tension in S5 plays a part in this fic.
2/?
**
"Hi, Josh."
"Hey, Donna," Josh said cheerily as she entered the room; he knew he would soon
be getting out of hospital.
"How are you doing?" she asked as she dropped the bag she was carrying and sat down.
"I'm good."
"Is there
any change?"
"No, I still can't see."
Donna was surprised by his cheerful tone, having expected him to be disheartened and perhaps depressed about his current state.
"Has the
doctor been round?"
"Yeah and a counselor."
"A counselor?"
"Yeah. She came to explain what I can expect, what
some of the problems I might face will be, that kind of stuff."
"Oh, right. What did she tell you?"
"She said she was leaving a leaflet on the table that explains everything."
"A leaflet?" Donna queried in surprise.
"Yeah, obviously, it's no good to me," he chuckled ruefully, "but she said it might be of use to the people around me."
"Right," Donna nodded, picking up the leaflet and skimming through it. "I assume she told you what's in here?"
"Yeah. She basically said that I need to mentally map out rooms and places I'm gonna be, so that I don't injure myself. My apartment and office should be okay, since I know them like the back of my hand, but other stuff might not be so easy. She also said that I need to make sure there are no sharp corners and stuff that I can bump into."
"Right. It says something here about always wearing dark glasses; what's that about?"
"Ah. Well, because they expect this just to be temporary, there are some precautions I have to take. My sight will likely come back gradually and both she and the doctor said that, when it starts to come back, it will be a shock to my system. I'll probably just start by seeing shapes and then colors, but direct sunlight and strong lights could cause me pain at first, so I need to wear dark glasses to prevent that."
"Okay. Well, I didn't bring any glasses, I'm afraid; I didn't know."
"It's okay, there are some in my car," he smiled.
"Right, well, I brought some clothes, so you can get dressed to go home."
"Thanks. Hey, you haven't put some really wacky tie in for me, have you, so that everyone will stare at me in the office?"
"No, I haven't," she laughed. "But, I think everyone will stare at you anyway when you eventually go into the office, don't you? You are ready for that, aren't you?" she asked with worry.
"I'm ready," he assured, "and it's not as if I'll be able to see their faces," he shrugged. "Wait, what do you mean when I *eventually* go into the office?"
"Well, you're not going in today," she said matter-of-factly.
"The hell I'm not!" he blustered. "Donna, I have to go to work, the day is half-gone already."
"Josh, it's 10am."
"Okay, well, it's a third gone," he amended with a grin. "All the more reason to go in now, I still have time left to do some work."
"Josh," she sighed. "You are not going into the office today."
"I am, now give me my clothes."
"I only packed jeans and a shirt, Josh; you can't go into the office wearing that. It might be Sunday, but there are meetings going on today."
"I don't think anyone will care about what I'm *wearing* when I get there, Donna," he said dryly.
"No, Josh, you are *not* going to the office," she said forcefully.
"Donna, I—"
"I'm not taking you there, Josh," she insisted. "For one thing, your doctor wouldn't recommend it, you still need to rest and, for another, Leo told me to make sure you take the day off."
"Fine, I'll go home, but I'll be back in the office tomorrow," he vowed.
"Wait and see how you are, Josh."
"Well, I would if I could," he said wryly.
"Oh, I—I'm sorry, Josh, I didn't think."
"It's okay," he smiled, "Don't worry about it, I don't want people having to be careful what they say to me, Donna, I can handle it."
"Alright. Well, your clothes are on the end of the bed," she said as she finished laying out the clothes she'd brought. "Will you manage?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," he nodded, already reaching to remove the hospital gown.
"Josh, stop," Donna said in shock. "Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I can't see you."
"Oh, yeah, right," he grinned ruefully.
"I'll just draw the curtains round your bed, to stop anyone seeing in through the door, and then I'll wait on the other side of the curtains in case you need something, alright?"
"Yeah, okay," he agreed as he felt his way around the clothes she'd left.
"You can get dressed now, Josh," she told him as she finished drawing the curtains.
"Okay."
*
"Okay, Josh, just sit down on the couch for now until I get rid of your bag and stuff," Donna said as she let them into Josh's apartment and led him to the couch.
"I'm okay, I know my way around my apartment, Donna."
"Josh, please, just sit for a minute."
"Alright," he acquiesced.
Donna took his bag into his bedroom and threw some stuff into the laundry basket before going back to the living room.
"Okay, I
need to go into work to finish some stuff off I didn't manage last night, but
I'll get you settled first."
"I'm not a child, Donna," he bristled.
"I'm sorry, Josh," she said quietly. "Is there anything you need me to do?"
"I'm gonna walk around for a minute, make sure I've got my bearings but, after that, I should be fine. I wouldn't mind something to drink though, since I don't think it would be a good idea to boil a kettle and stuff right now, until I get used to this."
"Okay, I'll
make you up a flask of coffee," she said.
"Do you want me to watch you walk around, make sure you get everything
right?"
"Yeah," he replied gratefully.
Josh successfully navigated his way around and then collapsed back onto the couch, emotionally exhausted from having to search his memory for every little detail of his apartment. Donna had followed him around and moved any precarious looking objects that he might bump into, ensuring he could be left on his own while she went to work. As he rested, she made a pot of coffee to pour into a flask for him and also made up some sandwiches, covering them in foil and putting them in the fridge.
"Josh, the flask is on the coffee table right in front of you, and I placed the mug next to it, but they're both on a tray in case you spill when pouring. I also made up some sandwiches; they're on a plate in the fridge."
"Thanks, Donna," he said gratefully.
"I should get to work, is there anything else you need?"
"No, I'm okay," he assured. "Tell Leo I'll call him later, I'm just gonna sleep for a bit."
"You'll manage to –"
"I think I can find speed dial number 3 on my phone, Donna," he stated.
"Okay. I'll see you later, Josh."
"Bye, Donna and thanks."
*
"Josh Lyman," Donna said into the phone, glancing at the clock and finding it read 7:06pm; she wondered when it had gotten so late.
"Yeah, it is Josh Lyman."
"Oh, hey,"
she smiled. "How are you?"
"I'm good, though I'm kinda hungry."
"Oh, right, sorry, I didn't even think about dinner for you. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"No, don't worry about it," he said. "I'm gonna come in."
"Come in?"
"To the office, I need to talk to Leo."
"Josh, you can't come in, CJ hasn't briefed about you yet."
"I know, that's why I've waited until now, there shouldn't be too many people around."
"I don't know if Leo will –"
"I've already talked to him," Josh cut her off to say. "He's the reason I'm coming in."
There was something in his tone that made her ask, "Is something wrong?"
"No, not really, I just need to talk to Leo, face to face."
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to come and get you?"
"Nah, I'll get a cab."
"How are you –"
"Speed dial number 9," he chuckled. "And I'll tell them to send the guy up to help me get downstairs."
"Are you sure that's wise?" she asked with concern.
"It'll be fine. I'll be there in about an hour."
"Okay, I'll
rustle up some food from the Mess."
"Thanks. Bye."
*
"Hey, Josh," Donna called as she arrived in the lobby.
"Donna, why have I been held at Security," Josh immediately demanded.
"To make sure you get to your office in one piece."
"But, I—"
"Leo's orders."
"Why am I not surprised?" he muttered.
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Josh, why are you so pissed?"
"I've suddenly gone blind, Donna; don't you think I have a right to be a little pissed?" he said with a tone of anger as Donna led him by the arm to his office. There weren't many people around, but those that were still working gave them odd looks, not so much because Josh was holding onto Donna's arm, but more because he was wearing shades, inside, at night.
"I don't think you're just pissed in general though, Josh, you were annoyed earlier when Leo was mentioned as well. What are you here to see him about?"
"Work."
"What work?"
"That's just it, if Leo gets his way, I won't have any."
"What? What do you mean, Josh? We're in your office now," she said as she closed the door and pushed him down into a chair.
"Can you let Leo know that I'm here?"
"Yeah, but what do you need to talk to him about? Josh?"
"I just… I need to talk to him, Donna, okay," he replied, his temper beginning to rise.
"Alright, I'll go call Margaret," she said quietly, choosing to use the phone at her desk rather than the one in his office.
"Thanks."
*
"Leo says Margaret wants me to take you to his office, Josh," Donna said as she re-entered his office.
"I can find the way."
"Josh."
"Fine," he sighed. "Let's go."
He stood up from the chair and held a hand out for Donna. Tucking his hand into the crook of her elbow, she led the way to Leo's office.
The door to Leo's office from the corridor was open, so they entered by it, rather than going past Margaret's desk.
"Leo?" Donna said quietly to attract his attention.
"Oh, hi,"
he said as he looked up. "Josh, how are
you?"
"I'm fine," he answered quickly in a clipped tone.
"Take a seat." Leo motioned with his hand to the couch, watching as Donna got Josh settled.
"I'll be
outside, Josh," she said quietly. "Just
let me know when you're ready to go."
"Yeah," he replied absently, adjusting the cushion behind his back to make
himself more comfortable.
*
"You can't do that, Leo!" Josh yelled.
Margaret and Donna exchanged glances and looked back at the closed door to Leo's office.
"No, I will not stop yelling! Leo, you can't do this!"
Donna kept her eyes fixed firmly on the door, but she could tell that Margaret was watching her closely, probably trying to decide if she was about to burst into Leo's office.
"DONNA!"
With a quick look back at Margaret, Donna opened the door and entered the office, feeling like she was walking into a lion's den.
"DONNA!" Josh yelled again.
"Josh, I'm here," she said quietly, walking to him and placing a hand lightly on his arm.
"Good, get me out of here."
"What?" she asked in confusion, her eyes meeting Leo's and finding a stony look on his face.
"Take me to my office," Josh ordered, then added, "please."
"No, Josh," Leo said firmly.
"Leo, I'm
going."
"No, you're not."
"Should I wait outside?" Donna asked, realizing both their tempers were still at breaking point.
"No, you can take me to my office," Josh replied, pushing himself up from the couch.
"Josh, I told you, you are not working," Leo stated.
"And *I* told *you*, you can't stop me," Josh stated just as firmly.
"Maybe you should go home, Josh, sort everything out in the morning," Donna suggested as a compromise.
"And give him a chance to get my security clearance wiped, I don't think so."
"Josh, I can get you thrown out right now," Leo pointed out, though it was more of a not-so-veiled threat.
"You do that and tomorrow all you'll see in the papers is how the Bartlet Administration breaks the anti-discrimination employment laws," Josh warned.
"Josh!" Donna said in shock, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Donna, Leo here seems to think that, just because I'm blind, I can't do my job. He wants me to take a leave of absence. Actually, make that he's *ordering* me to do so."
"What?" Donna looked at Leo, stunned by Josh's words. "Leo?"
"I don't
have a choice, Josh," Leo said seriously, but unapologetically, ignoring the
look on Donna's face. "How are you
going to do your job?"
"I'm blind, Leo, not stupid!" Josh yelled.
"Josh, how
are you supposed to go into meetings and handle them properly? How are you going to take notes, or even
read from notes? I can't afford to send
another Senior Staff member to accompany you at all meetings."
"And if I take a leave of absence, that situation is going to be solved, is
it? What, you got someone lined up to
take my place already?" Josh snarled.
"You know
that's not the case, but I can sort something out."
"Leo, it's discrimination!" Josh yelled again, getting angrier by the second.
"What do you suggest I do, Josh?" he yelled back. He didn't want Josh to have to leave, he knew it would seriously affect him, but he couldn't see a way to avoid it; he didn't think Josh would be able to fully do his job and he couldn't let the Administration suffer because Josh wasn't fully operational. He would sort something out to let Josh come back to work, but he needed time to make arrangements.
"I… Donna can help me," Josh replied.
"What?"
"What?" Donna echoed a moment later.
"Donna can come to my meetings, take notes, read out any stats I need."
"That's not possible, Josh," Leo stated.
"Why not?" Josh demanded to know.
"She doesn't have the security clearance for all your meetings, plus, she has her own work to do."
"We can get someone to take some of Donna's workload," Josh argued. "She has security clearance for most things, she types the notes up, and those that she doesn't have clearance for would be high-level meetings, meaning you or another Staff member would be there anyway."
Leo looked at Josh like he'd gone crazy and he noticed Donna was doing the same.
"Josh, no,
you're going home."
"I told you, Leo, you send me home and I'll make it public that you're
discriminating against me."
"Josh," Leo warned. He didn't think Josh would actually jeopardize them like that, but the determination in his voice was making him wonder.
"Please, Leo, I've already lost my sight, don't make me lose my job as well," Josh pleaded, his resolve beginning to waver as he realized that Leo wasn't changing his mind.
"I think Josh is right, Leo," the President said from the doorway; Leo and Donna had been so focused on Josh that neither had seen him arrive.
"Sir?" Leo queried.
"I think it would be discrimination but, besides that, I don't think there's any need for it."
"Mr President –"
"Donna," the President continued, ignoring Leo, "how do you feel about Josh's plan, do you think you can handle helping him out even more than you already do?"
"Uh, yes, Sir, I mean, I… I think it's worth a try, Sir," she finally stammered out.
"So do I, so that's settled."
"Thank you, Sir," Josh said appreciatively.
"Josh, go home," the President ordered.
"Sir?"
"It's
getting late, go home. You and Donna
will both need a good night's sleep if you're going to get through this; it'll
likely be a couple of days before you can farm all the non-essential stuff out
to others."
"Yes, Sir," Josh nodded.
*
"You sure you're going to be alright?" Donna asked worriedly as she prepared to leave Josh's apartment.
"Donna, what can go wrong when all I'm going to do is sleep?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Yeah, but
you still have to *get* to sleep, you know, into bed and everything."
"You're offering to help?" he grinned.
"Josh."
"Look, I'll be fine, really. The only problem I'll have is trying to figure out what clothes to wear in the morning."
"I've already taken a suit and shirt out of your closet and hung them on the door. I think you can manage the rest yourself," she smiled.
"You'll tell me if my socks don't match?"
"Maybe," she grinned. "Do you want me to come over early, so I'm here if you have a problem showering?"
"Well, if you're offering to help with *that* --"
"Josh."
"Nah, I'll be okay, as long as I remember which is the shampoo and which is the shower gel."
"Do you want me to –"
"No, I'll figure it out, I have to," he said resolutely, though there was a grateful tone in his voice.
"Okay, well, I'll be over to pick you up to take you to work. I've set your alarm for five."
"Thanks. Hey, don't think that, just because I can't use it, it means you can drive my car the whole time I'm like this."
"You want to be seen in *my* car?"
"Good point, use mine," he grinned.
"Night, Josh."
"Thanks, Donna."
He heard the door close behind her and he fumbled around to flip the dead bolt. Letting out a sigh, he said aloud, "Please let me get through this."
**
TBC
