Teach me Sadness and Pain

Hello again everyone? How are you all doing? Well, I am fine but not really fine. I have cough and colds. Sigh…but by the way my mother got really angry and suspended my allowance! Man! But still, I am happy about her. Finally, it's her vacation time… My father is an Overseas Worker and my mother is always so busy… This story is kind of inspired to my friend's life…

But first I want to thank those people who added this story to their Favorites and Story Alerts. Thank you…please will you watch over it and please review

pikeebo: I think the both will become victims here. But I want Wolfram to be a little bad and confuse… after all, Yuuri had hurt him right? But of course, cheating is not right.

Heart of a Crescent: Thanks, I thought my story will not be accepted since the story is not really the same as usual with Wolf being kidnap and Yuuri will save him, or Yuuri will cheat on him and Wolf will be hurt. I mean, where's the originality if that is what I will write and I am a super supporter of YUURI! I just love him, peace loving, gentle and simply adorable. I am not really a Maou fan though… And because of your review about Sara-chan, I will include him too, somehow, and yeah it will be quite a love square!

Skilla: Yeah, I thought that Yuuri is more like an uke. And if you are searching for when Yuuri will be the uke, there is the Demon King Decision and if you go to there is a sequel call Demon King Dilemma.

chocowilliams: Yes, I kind of know the feeling cause my best friend has the same experience and that inspired me to write this fic. I hope I am doing a fair job about expressing feelings of pain and sadness. Tell me if you want to include some experience of yours I'll be happy to write it. Thank you very much. Hope you are happy…

7blackrose: YES!! But it is not a typical WolfYuu anyway.

rueLf94: THANKS!!

I guess the idea of Yuuri being the uke and Wolfram the cheater is not really appreciated. Sigh… I am feeling sorry. Am I really getting into the right path? This is my very first Shounen ai fic so please watch over it… This chapter is made while I'm listening to Jesse McCartney's Just so you know and Avril Lavigne's Happy ending


Chapter Two: For the warmth…

(Murata Ken's POV)

I have known that this would happen. But I never anticipated that it would turn out like this. Really, Shinou and Lord von Bielefelt are so much alike that it terrified me. They are both impatient brats… They can't wait and because of their lack of patience it was we the Soukoku who are always in the pain. And they both have bad timing…

Flashbacks…

Daikenja is walking to the corridor, he had finished the peace treaty documents and all he needed is the sign of their king. It had been quite a time that the two admitted their feelings for each other but still they haven't done anything except a kiss and hugs. Daikenja is afraid… yes, unlike the experienced king he is but a Soukoku who don't have any experience at all. But he expected Shinou to wait… to wait for a little time…

He knocked on the king's chambers. It was morning and Daikenja stayed up all night just to finish this damn documents. Really…damn life…

Shinou refused to do paper works only to sign them. But still, Daikenja doesn't complain, it was one of his jobs in the war after all.

The door opened but it was not His Majesty, the Great Maou, His Lord, and the Commander he served in the war that opened the door…

The documents fell in the floor… with tears…

No!

I must not think about it! Everything went fine in the end didn't it? But still it was painful… even if I barely remember the real pain of being burn or being hang in the gallows, the pain of that memory is still fresh on his chest like it was only seconds ago.

I had been in many lives… my soul is too tired to even try to remember it…

When I first met Shibuya, I feel like a real teenager again. Yes, my body is for a teenager but my heart, my mind and my soul is even older than the civilization…

But every time, I hear his laugh, I feel fresh again, every time I see his smile, I feel like a boy again. I like that innocence… and like the sun his smile always promises a brand new beginning. I never thought that I would feel this way for a person again. It was so strong that even after I saw Lord von Bielefelt and his uncanny resemblance to Shinou, my feeling for the King didn't return to my old heart again nor it was transferred to Lord von Bielefeld. It was simply awe for they are so much alike. Except that…Wolfram von Bielefelt will never be Shinou for Shinou is also like Shibuya.

His rashness, his sense of justice and even his recklessness seemed to be copied from Shinou… Even after they defeated Shinou, when I had the chance to never return to Shin Makoku again, I still followed Shibuya. Even I don't know the reasons…it was just like the time when I took Shinou's hands… But whenever I am around Shibuya I can feel warmth…and that warmth is what I am searching for. It was wrong… I always told myself. He is engaged to Wolfram von Bielefeld, Shinou's progeny. If the two suns are happy shouldn't be the moon be happy also? For the happiness of the sun is the happiness of the moon? It was wrong…It was wrong…

But I yearn the days that I will be near the warm light of the sun…I had been in a cold place for too long. Is it wrong for me to seek a little warmth?

I admitted myself in the time when we returned to Earth.

I am hopelessly in love to the boy named Shibuya Yuuri.

In the time of Earth, I thought I can have him by myself… the sun will no longer share its light to other just to its moon. But that can never happen… I tried to delay the time of his return to Shin Makoku… I even hope that he will never found out how to return to that place… but I can't take the sadness on his eyes and so in the end we return to the country…

Even before he found it…I knew that Lord von Bielefeld had a secret affair to his Corporal. I saw it myself… too…

I was on the garden looking at the flowers, I picked one rose carefully so it will not prick my fingers… but when I look up, I clutched it to tightly that my hand bleed. On the window's clear glass… on Wolfram von Bielefeld's quarters… they didn't even bother to hide away from the window… not even cover the view by the thick curtains…

That brought so much pain… he look so much like Shinou and it triggered all of the Great Sage's painful experience… painful experience… of Shinou's betrayal.

But above all this he felt fury… I decided to hide my feelings to myself since I knew that Shibuya is starting to have feeling for Wolfram. It would be easier to conceal pain by smiles in that way.

HOW DARE HE??

Was he impatient?

Was he so much like Shinou?

Through gritted teeth he walked away. Maybe this is just a brief affair and Shibuya will not notice it… maybe he will never knew.

I know that I was the greatest secret keeper throughout Shin Makoku and even in Earth but I never thought that the castle will also be a competition. They are hiding it to the benevolent Maou…

Might be Lord von Voltaire's orders…

Lord Weller and Lord von Voltaire are afraid that their little brother will suffer the anger of the Maou… In that form, he is nearly a god… with powers that surpass Shinou.

They have a reason to be afraid but they will never have one to betray Shibuya's expectations…

I hid it not out of fear, I hid it because I don't want the smile on Shibuya's lips to disappear. It might change him fully. I can only pray that the said affair would be brief and Shibuya will never know it.

But again…I was wrong…

I was deadly wrong…

Though, I noticed that Shibuya still laugh and smile. That his innocence is still doesn't change… that his warmth is still not disappearing. His smile never reaches his eyes… his eyes are always sad… and I can feel it… he knew…

I waited…

And waited…

And waited…

But still… he didn't do any reckless moves… I was surprised… Shibuya had grown… he had grown so much that it alarmed me. He learned to hid his true feeling…

And I made my move…

On our time to Earth, he was on the park, sitting on a bench… it was already dark but no fear… he is a boy anyway. I look at him as he looks at the toilet. It would have been funny but I saw his eyes… Did he regret now that he is a Maou? I sighed and walked towards him…

"Shibuya…" I said…

"Huh?" he answered. Obviously, snapped out of his thoughts…

I am frowning slightly…

"Murata, I thought you were in the Castle?" he asked.

"I was but I got bored of it…"

Lies… he was not bored of it. He was just sick of it…

There were moments of silence…

"You knew about Lord von Bielefeld and Corporal Marguerite, am I right?" I asked better be blunt about it

His head shot up and I made a smile/smirk and my glasses lighted in anticipation.

"It's amazing that you are the only one who noticed, even Conrad and Gunter didn't saw anything…" Shibuya smiled.

And so he knew… and what's with that smile? It didn't fit his face at all! It was cryptic, he shouldn't have that kind of smile!

"I really didn't know that you are a fabulous artist, maybe this can take you to Oscars. But still you have to fight the position with me…" I joked.

Shibuya laughed. I felt relieved… he laugh. It was the real one. The real Shibuya laugh… My heart burst with joy but I noticed the tears falling on his face.

"Shibuya…"

He laughed and cried altogether. Please don't do that! If you do that… my soul will break. It was so painful to watch. How dare that Shinou look-a-like do this kind of this to his SUN??

"Am I an idiot or am I a fool? I mean what's the difference between the two? And why am I crying and laughing all the same. I must be a mad man…" he said between his laugh and sob.

He even tried to make a lame pun!

I looked at him. Then, I felt his head on my shoulder… My heart pounded lightly.

NO!

I shouldn't feel these emotions in this time!! But… But…

"Shibuya…?" I asked looking at the boy who is now crying silently. I don't know what to say anymore.

"I'm fine, I just need to cry and a shoulder to lean on… Stay just for a minute… Murata…" he requested…

"Of course…Yuuri-kun"

I called him by his name. It surprised me… it really did… But it felt so good…

I didn't know what he thinks, I just let him cry. I just let him do it…I am still savoring the moments, even if my shoulder is not wet with his tears.

"Thanks, Murata…" he smiled, yes, a true smile, one with the goofy look.

Finally, he smiled… and it was so beautiful.. the warmth is back… and I smiled back…

Then, I felt the sunrays on my skin.

"It's the sunrise…" I said looking at the sun rising ahead.

"The Sun is always beautiful…" I added.

Yes, the eclipse is now gone… but that eclipse… may come again…

Yuuri now is the one listening.

"What do you plan on doing… Your Majesty?" I smiled teasingly using the official titles

Shibuya's bangs fell into his face covering his eyes and said "I'm merciful. But if anything happened, can you stop me from killing Wolfram and the others…"

"You made it sound like you are really going to do that…"

Even despite that anguish, I knew… he will not do it… his soul is pure and Shinou made sure of that

Shibuya frowned and said "I am afraid, Murata. I am afraid of myself. Than I am not the person they knew. What if I was not able to control myself? Will I ruin Shin Makoku? What if…"

"Shibuya, you are thinking very much. If you do something foolish, we will make it right but I doubt it…We will support you…"

"We…?"

"Yes, I, Lord von Voltaire, Lord Weller and even Lord von Kleist…"

For once I didn't know what I am saying…I just kept on blabbing…

"I wonder about that… they knew about Wolfram yet…they haven't said a word… I mean, I knew they were protecting Wolfram and I understand it. But can't they trust me…"

I didn't say anything… I don't know what to say

"You are the King…and all you utter is law and all law must be obeyed" I said trying to remind him that all he want will be done.

"Indeed, but this pass weeks I learned that law is not something that imprison people. It is something that protects them… and I want to…"

He had really grown… but seeing his confused eyes. I can only say this

"I am the Great Sage, your closest advisor but above all these Shibuya, I am your best friend so I will support you and if you go…past the limits…I will stop you"

"Arigato, MuraKen"

After such a long time he had finally called me MuraKen as before… It sounds so sweet on his lips…

"Say, MuraKen… do you know swordsmanship?"

I felt surprise by his question. Don't tell me he will challenge Corporal Marguerite…

But when I saw the sadness on his eyes… I knew he had other plans…

"You are clearly underestimating me… I fought in the Soushu wars" I said quite proudly.

And Shibuya smiled and said "Not at all…my friend…"

My friend… Please don't call me that… it brings back so many memories…

"What do you want with my swordsmanship skill?"

"Can you teach me?"

"Why?" I asked sharply.

"If you want to have tutor there is Lord Weller and Lord von Kleist…" I said.

"But…they… I do not wish to be the same Maou… I don't want to be like a sheltered princess. I am supposed to be the one to protect"

"I see… but my training program will not be as easy as Lord Weller" I joked.

True, I am quite a slave driver. But seeing that eyes… eyes that show determination… I knew that whatever I give he will succeed to it…

"I'll take my chances" he said smiling again.

Please smile always… I nearly said.

"But after that what will you do?" I asked.

"I have a little plan and I need you to help me…" he said staring at the rising sun like remembering a past and his eyes are flying.

"Of course…"

Finally he needed me… Finally… I now have a new purpose. Is it wrong that I wanted a little bit of happiness? Is it wrong to feel a little happy in a time like this? I am generous…I am willing to share. I shared Shinou too many times than I can remember so it wrong that I feel selfish now? I love Shibuya Yuuri… the boy I am not supposed to love… But I can't control it…


Sorry for a little late update. This chapter is clearly MuraKen centric but in the next chapter is for Wolf lovers so watch our for it! Please Do Review and I am having a poll...

What will be the pairing in this story... you know the one that will end up together... and tell me why!

Wolfram x Yuuri...a... Yes I love this pairing it is so adorable but sometimes, I feel that Wolfram is always pushing in Yuuri. No offence Wolf lovers for I love him too. It's just that in almost all of the story it is that Wolfram is always the object of kidnapping, of torture, of pain and I am getting quite sick of it. So as I say in this previous chapter, it will be a Yuuri angst story!

Murata x Yuuri...b... I am amazed that I fell in love in this pairing. But it was just so sweet... the moon and the sun... What will happen if Murata really...really like Yuuri as he say on the anime?

Murata x Shinou...c...My favorite pairing... if the votes are high... I will make Shinou return... and claim his sage! But if it don't... better be vote for this chapter!

or

Saralegui x Yuuri...d... I loved this story by the end of the OVA... somehow I'll manage to do it!

Please do vote or else... or else... erm?

Just vote!