A/N: Here's chapter two for you, a bit earlier than we expected! :) I think we forgot to mention last time that we're going to include a relevant song lyric at the beginning of each chapter. Enjoy.
Oh, when the dawn is nearing
And when the night is disappearing
This feeling will still be here in my heart, my heart
~"I Believe in You" by Cat Power
EPOV
"Right hand, red!" Alice shouts, and a cacophony of groans goes up.
"I can't! Emmett's big ass is in my face!" shouts Ben.
"Shut it, Cheney," Emmett says, "or I'mma fart in your ugly face."
"Jeez, Emmett, do you have to be so crass?" Alice says.
I look around at my friends and shake my head. Ben manages to get his right hand on a red circle, as do Emmett and Jasper. Bella, being the least coordinated of the group, falls on her side.
"HA! OUT!" Emmett yells.
Bella pouts and stands up, rubbing her left hip. "Ouch."
"Are you okay, Bella?" I ask her as she sits next to me on the love seat, from which I've been acting as official referee.
"I hate Twister," she mutters.
"Em, you can't even be concerned for your own girlfriend?" Angela asks. "Do you need an ice pack, Bella? You know we always have them ready for you in the freezer."
Bella shakes her head before stretching out sideways on the love seat, putting her head on my knees. I hope she can't feel the tension in my muscles as soon as she touches me. I practically have to sit on my hands to keep from running them through her beautiful hair.
I think to myself that if she was my girlfriend, I'd be running to the freezer to grab that ice pack for her and holding it gently to her probably bruised hip while kissing her forehead.
Shut up, you fucking pansy, the saner half of my brain says.
The game commences again, and Bella turns her head slightly to grin at me. "Edward, you're comfy," she slurs. We're all a little tipsy.
I laugh, and some of the tension melts away. "Glad to know my legs aren't too bony for your delicate head."
She grins wider. "Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"
And the tension's back. She must've felt my muscles twitch, because she claps her hand over her mouth and says, "Sorry. I know I have a big mouth. It has to be big enough to hold both of my feet, you know. For those times when I'm extra chatty."
I laugh again. "No, it's okay." I run my hands through my unruly hair. "I don't really know why. I guess I just haven't found the right girl yet."
That's a complete lie. The right girl for me is currently lying in my lap.
"Hmm. I have a hunch that you are a hopeless romantic, Edward Cullen. I'm glad you're not a womanizer. Some girl will be very lucky to have you," she sing-songs, tapping the tip of my nose with her index finger, effectively taking my breath away.
"Baby, leave Eddie alone. He doesn't need to hear any of your crazy talk," Emmett says loudly from between his knees on the Twister mat.
My nostrils flare at the way he speaks to her. I hate it. He's my friend, but I often wonder what on earth Bella sees in him.
She sighs then and turns her face upward, tilting it to the side after a few minutes, then raises her arm to point at the ceiling.
"Jughead," she mutters.
I just watch her pretty face concentrating on the ceiling. She turns to me again.
"Look up there."
My eyes follow the curve of her arm, tearing themselves away to look where she's pointing. "I don't see anything."
"There's a little pattern there in the texture-y stuff. It looks like Jughead. See?"
"What's Jughead?" I ask, already knowing but wanting to keep her talking.
"Silly Edward!" She hits my shoulder. "Jughead is Archie's best friend. Didn't you ever read Archie comics? If you tilt your head to the right and squint, it looks just like him." She points upward again.
I shake my head. "I don't see it." But I do see something then, as my eyes linger on her upper arm. "What the hell did you do to your arm, Bella?"
The fluttery sleeve of her shirt has fallen down around her shoulder, revealing a dark, almost black bruise on the back of her right arm. It's purple around the edges and stands out angrily against her porcelain skin.
"Hmm?" she hums absentmindedly before adjusting her shoulder and bringing her arm around her front to examine the bruise. "Oh! That."
She blushes, and I can't help but think how beautiful she is.
"Wellllll..." She lifts herself from my lap and stands in front of the love seat. "I was doing helicopters," she says as she stretches her arms out to her sides and begins to spin around the room, whirling every which way until she comes to rest between Alice and Angela on the couch. "And I bumped into a shelf."
She shows them the bruise, and Alice places a kiss on it. "Thanks, friend," Bella chimes.
"No problem, my love," says Alice as she looks down again at the spinner. "Left foot, blue!"
Jasper tumbles to the floor, narrowing the competition down to just Ben and Emmett.
I miss the weight of Bella's head on my lap now that she's moved across the room. She never stays in one place for very long. I lean my head back against the cushions and ponder the question she asked me.
I wonder briefly if it's obvious how I feel about Bella. I look around the room, but everyone else is paying attention to the game taking place on the living room floor.
"Give it up, McCarty," Ben taunts. "I'm not going down."
"That's what she said!" Jasper calls out from the kitchen, where he's grabbing some fresh beers for us.
The girls giggle at Jasper's remark, and I just watch Bella's pretty smile, completely taken in by it.
When my gaze shifts over to the right, Alice catches my eye and winks at me. I raise an eyebrow at her and wonder what she thinks she knows.
****************
Later that night, I'm lying in bed thinking of --what else-- Bella, when my phone rings. The display is flashing Alice's name and number.
"What's up, Alice?" I answer.
"How long has this been going on?" she asks me. I honestly have no clue what she's talking about, and I tell her so.
"How long have you been in love with Bella?" she sighs.
I don't know what to say to that. I settle for, "What are you talking about?"
"Don't play coy with me, Edward Cullen. This is your sister you're talking to."
I wait for her to say something else, but she doesn't. I'm not caving. A minute or so passes, and nothing.
"Alice?" I ask, checking to see if she's hung up.
"Edward," she says.
I sigh.
"I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me, so you might as well just get it over with."
I groan then, dropping my head into my hands and sighing again. "Augh! Fine, Alice. You're right."
"What was that?"
"I said, 'you're right,'" I mutter.
"What was it that I'm right about?"
She wants to hear me say it. I don't know if I can. I haven't actually admitted it out loud, to be honest. It's always been this internal struggle. Saying the words might make it hurt more.
"I can't, Alice." Even to my ears, the whisper sounds pained.
"Oh, Edward." Her voice is sympathetic. "This really bothers you, doesn't it?"
No one knows me like my sister. She understands the loyalty I have to my friends. Of course she would get how hard this is for me. "Yeah, it does."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It's just that I can't help but notice the look on your face when she's around. And when she was sitting with you on the love seat, you just looked so...peaceful."
Shit. Is it really that obvious? I run my hand through my hair again. "I can't talk about this, Alice. I'm trying so hard to ignore it." How the hell does she do that? I don't want to admit it. I don't want to say it. I don't want to acknowledge it. Yet each time I open my mouth to speak to Alice, the truth comes out. Maybe we were actually supposed to be twins.
"Okay," she relents. "But if you ever need to talk about it, you know you can trust me. I love you, big brother."
"I love you too, squirt. And thank you."
"I'll see you for dinner with the parentals tomorrow?" She phrases it as a question.
"Of course. See you then. 'Night, Ali."
"Good night. Love you!"
I hang up the phone and switch it off before plugging it into the charger. I don't feel like talking anymore tonight. I don't even feel like thinking, but my mind is drawn like a magnet back to an image of Bella. She's smiling at me, her head in my lap, her eyes sparkling.
I pull my clothes off and lie back on my bed, closing my eyes, but it's like Bella's face is imprinted on the insides of my eyelids. I see her everywhere. I'll never be able to sleep this way. Slowly, I allow the Edward in my imagination to cup her soft, blushing cheek in his hand and bring his lips to hers. The kiss is gentle, worshipping. Her lips are like silk, smooth and supple. I reluctantly pull back and place a single, tender kiss on her forehead before allowing myself to whisper reverently the words I will never be able to say aloud.
"I love you, Bella."
****************
"You're in trouble," Alice sings as I enter my parents' house.
I roll my eyes at her. "Whatever. So I'm ten minutes late for dinner. The world will still rotate on its axis, rest assured."
"Nope, not that, though my hips thank you for the extra ten minutes to snack," she says sarcastically.
"Edward!" I hear my mother's voice float out from the dining room before her smiling face appears from around the corner. Oh no. She's got that mischievous glint in her eye.
"Hey, Mom."
"I have someone I'd like you to meet," she says, handing me a glass of red wine.
Wine? We don't usually have wine with dinner. It's usually just water or iced tea...
I follow her into the dining room to find my dad and Jasper talking to someone I don't know. A girl. An attractive girl. Ah, I get it now. I cock an eyebrow at my mother. Her smile only brightens, if it's possible.
"Edward, this is Kate. She's my friend Tanya's daughter. Kate, this is my Edward."
I move to where Kate is now standing so I can shake her hand. "Nice to meet you," I tell her, looking into her pretty eyes. They're a very clear, light blue, emphasized by the long bangs sweeping across her forehead. Such a contrast from Bella's deep, brown, expressive eyes.
"Edward, I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to put a face to a name." Her smile is perfect, accentuated by pink lipstick. Bella doesn't need lipstick. She has the prettiest red lips... Damn it, Edward. Here and now, here and now...
"I can't say I've had the same pleasure." I eye Esme, who is now setting a dish on the table and worrying over place settings.
"Kate is pre-med, Edward," my dad says. "We've just been speaking about medical schools."
"Med school, huh?" I say, making an earnest effort to take interest in her.
Kate blushes a bit, which automatically reminds me of Bella. "Yes," she says. "Of course, I'd love to study something frivolous like art, but my parents wouldn't hear of it."
Alice pipes up from the other side of the table. "You consider art to be frivolous?"
"Oh, no!" Kate breathes, bringing a hand to her cheek. "I'm sorry, I meant that that's the way my parents feel. I feel that art is a very important thing in a world where everything is always so serious. It's an escape for me."
Alice purses her lips. She's an art major and already has a great job as an assistant to a well-known fashion designer. My mother shoots Alice a reproving look before chiming in to tell us to dig in to dinner.
The conversation continues as we eat.
"So what do you do, Edward?" Kate asks.
"I'm a musician," I tell her. I have to hide a smirk, wondering what she'll think of this piece of information after what she said before.
"Oh? Do you play with an orchestra or on your own?"
Alice chokes on her food, and my mother pats her on the back.
I'm not as successful at hiding my grin this time. "I play with a group..."
"Oh, how nice! Mother and Daddy have season tickets to the symphony, you know. What group is it that you play with?"
"Uh, I play with three other local musicians."
Alice does a spit-take.
"Mary Alice, what on earth is wrong with you?" my mother asks.
Dad just chuckles. I wonder if it's cruel to string her along this way.
"We play in some of the local clubs and bars."
"Oh!" Kate says. "So you're in a rock band."
"Sort of," I say.
Alice smirks. "You might have heard of them. They have a lot of local fans."
"What's the name of your band?" Kate asks me, ignoring Alice.
"Afterthought," I tell her before taking another sip of wine. "Jasper here is a member too."
Kate purses her lips in thought. "I'm sorry, it doesn't ring a bell. But then again, I don't know much about local music."
"No surprise there," Alice mutters. I think I'm the only one that heard that, but I kick her under the table anyway.
Conversation goes on, revolving mostly around a question/answer session between Kate and myself with my mother looking on with a conniving...er, proud look. And I do have to admit that Kate does seem like a nice girl, if a bit uptight. Maybe I could take her out and shake her up a bit.
As I walk her to her car after coffee, I decide that maybe I should ask her out.
"I had a lovely time," she says as we amble down the front walk. I smile at her. "And I'd love to hear your band play sometime." When we reach her car, she presses a business card into my hand. "Give me a call next time you play a show."
"Sure thing," I say, giving her a lopsided grin, wondering if she'd actually be interested in our type of music.
Kate gets into her car and drives away. When I turn to go back inside, I spot my mother peeking around the curtains on the front window. "Sheesh, Mom," I mumble on my way up the front steps.
"So," she starts as soon as I'm inside again. "What did you think of Kate?"
"She's a nice girl, Mom."
"And?"
"And what? Do you want me to go chase her down and propose marriage?"
Mom rolls her eyes at my sarcasm. "Edward, I just want you to be happy."
I put my arm around her shoulders as we walk into the living room. "I'm happy, Mom, and I don't need to be fixed up with anyone to stay that way."
She pouts, and Alice cuts in. "Mo-omm," she croons. "Jasper needs help planning his parents' surprise anniversary party!"
I mouth a "thanks" to Alice, who knows that any mention of a new project will snare Mom's attention for a while. I really do love my mother, but I feel like she thinks that since she and Dad are so happy together, everyone must need someone else to make them happy. While I admit that I'd definitely be overjoyed to be with Bella, I also know I don't need anyone else to be content with my life.
Jasper glares at me when Mom pulls out her party planning binder.
***************
BPOV
I hardly slept at all last night. I spent most of my time tossing and turning, not to mention trying not to think of the one name that stayed on my mind all night. No matter what I tried, what I did, I couldn't get comfortable.
I finally give up at around 4 a.m. I turn over, placing a small kiss on Em's cheek as he snores away. I slowly slide out of bed, grabbing my robe and slippers as I make my way downstairs.
It's still a bit dark out; the moonlight streams into the back kitchen window. I grab a coffee cup from the cupboard quietly, not wanting to wake Emmett. I take a spoon from the silverware drawer as I turn on the coffee pot, my foot lightly tapping on the floor as I tighten my robe around my waist.
As I pour myself a cup of coffee, my mind keeps wandering back to that night at the bar. I feel even guiltier as I remember myself practically melting into Edward's arms as I greeted him. I only wonder what Emmett might have thought of that, or if he had even seen that at all. But last night in bed brought a whole new round of guilt. I felt torn while I enjoyed what Emmett did to my body. I couldn't help but have Edward on my mind. That is wrong on so many levels. I honestly just couldn't help myself. With every moan that escaped from Emmett, I tried to suppress my thoughts of Edward, but they were still there.
Never have I felt so completely torn and guilty. It hurts my heart.
Inhaling the aroma of the coffee as I take my first sip, I sit down in the chair next to the island and wrap my small hands around the mug. I'm surprisingly awake, not a bit tired after a restless night. I'm almost always the one that fights to get up. I am not at all a morning person.
The thump of the morning newspaper shakes me even more awake, and I get up to fetch my paper.
I read the paper and finish my coffee, then decide then to go on up stairs and take a shower. I round the corner and look into Emmett's and my room. He's still asleep, but his alarm is due to go off in a few minutes. If I want that shower I'll have to hurry up and get in. My robe falls to the floor and I turn on the water. The steam makes quick work of the mirrors.
The water cascades down my back as I run my fingers through my hair, making sure the shampoo is all rinsed out. My hand searches blindly for my body wash, when I feel an arm slowly glide around my waist.
"Looking for something?"
I turn around to find Emmett smirking at me as he holds the bottle of my body wash. I try to keep my eyes trained on his. I can't help it when my eyes wander down his body and back up again. I bite my lip as I grab my body wash from him.
"Thanks," I whisper as I take the loofah and squeeze a small amount of body wash on it.
Emmett grabs the loofah from my hand. "Why don't you let me get that for you?"
He presses the loofah against me as he scrubs small circles up and down my back. I feel the tiny bubbles fall past my ass. He presses himself against me as he brings the loofah around front, scrubbing bubbles from my chest down to my stomach.
His hand inches lower, right between my legs as he places a small, chaste kiss on my neck. The loofah sponge falls to the floor as he slowly runs his fingers up and down, gently sliding a finger in. I barely register the moan that escapes my mouth.
As slow as he possibly can, he takes his fingers out, and I whimpered at the loss of contact. I feel both hands on my shoulders as he spins me around to face him. His lips attack mine, one over the other, fighting for dominance. My tongue traces his bottom lip as he presses me up against the wall. He's so close to me, pulling my legs up to go around his waist.
"God, Bella..."
All I hear is the phone ringing and then me hitting the tiles of the shower as Emmett steps out. My eyes sting, my chest hurts. I'm not sure if I should cry or scream. Instead, I just finish my shower and step out.
On my way to work, I text Em, reminding him that we're supposed to meet at Alice and Jasper's for drinks. He replies that he'll be there.
I go on about my day as normal, trying not to think of Edward and his green eyes and oh-so-kissable lips. I really don't even want to think about the shower this morning, which was actually quite humiliating. I don't want to deal with anything. I just want to go to my friends, get my drink on, and have fun.
My phone rings as I walk out to the parking garage.
"Yes, Alice?" I answer as I unlock my car.
"Are you on your way, missy?"
"Yes, Alice, I am. Have you ever heard of patience?" I laugh.
"Just get here, you brat! Oh, and love ya!"
Alice is waiting on the front steps with a drink in her hand. She practically runs out to me. How she manages to not spill the drink is beyond me. We go inside and sit down to chat and wait for the others to arrive.
Angela and Ben are the first to show up, then Jasper comes in. He nods his greeting as he kisses Alice, pulling her away with him. I wave as she walks off.
Emmett is next. He comes up and kisses my cheek and whispers that he's missed me today. I nod and smile. My eyes watch his retreating form as he walks into the kitchen to grab a beer. My whole body decides to tingle right when Edward walks into the room. I fight to not let my eyes betray me, but they end up finding his anyway. He cocks that perfect half-smile as he walks past me to go get a beer.
Everyone is sipping on their drinks as we sit around talking and catching up.
"So, guys? What shall we do?" asks Jasper.
I shrug my shoulders as I glance over at Alice. She looks giddy. "Oh! Twister! We play Twister!" Why am I not surprised that she would pick that?
Ben and Edward set up the mat as the rest of us take off our shoes. I really don't want to play this-- I'll only end up on my ass and most likely have bruises that last a good month. My body hates me like that.
Alice spins and calls out the colors. I'm doing well and haven't fallen yet. I'm pretty proud of myself. Usually, when I was younger I wouldn't last the first round. My body would give out or I would misstep, trip, or just wouldn't be able to hold my body weight. Which ultimately led me to the falling down part.
We're all tied up and pretty close. Ben and Emmett are fighting back and forth. I really just want out of this game. It doesn't help that I'm feeling tipsy. But when you think about it, maybe that's what is helping me to stay in the game and not be klutzy. Kind of a reverse effect? I bite my lip and continue on.
Just as Alice calls out the next placement, I feel Emmett move and myself falling down. I hit the mat hard. My hip actually hurts. But I won't let them know that. I don't want to seem weaker than I already do. I bite my lip, trying hard to hide the pain as I rub my hip. I look over at Edward, and I know then that I'm not at all convincing.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asks me as I sit next to him on the love seat.
"I hate Twister," I mutter as I ball up my fist.
"Em, you can't even be concerned for your own girlfriend?" Angela asks. "Do you need an ice pack, Bella? You know we always have them ready for you in the freezer."
I just shake my head no. The last thing I need right now is people fawning over me. I just glare at Emmett. Sometimes I just can't believe how selfish he can be. I wish he was more attentive toward me and not so much into the game or work.
I lie down, placing my head on Edward's knees. I feel comfortable here, like I'm supposed to be here in this moment. It feels perfect, actually.
He smells of the woods and a deep musky scent. I am ashamed to admit this, but I love his smell. I close my eyes, inhaling deeper. I really hope Edward doesn't mind that I'm lying here like this. I honestly don't want to be anywhere else.
I look over at the rest of them as they continue on with the game. I shake my head at every move Emmett makes. He really doesn't take into account his size and how he might hurt someone else. He's too into winning.
I turn my head, grinning at Edward. I know I'm tipsy, and that little bit of alcohol I had is affecting me. "Edward, you're comfy," I slur and giggle softly to myself.
He laughs, smiling that smile that always gets to me. "Glad to know my legs aren't too bony for your delicate head."
I grin wider. "Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I know I'll regret asking this. I honestly know deep down that I do not want him to be attached to someone else. I secretly want him to myself, even though I can't have him. I'm so selfish.
I clasp my hand over my mouth, realizing I've said something I probably shouldn't have. "Sorry. I know I have a big mouth. It has to be big enough to hold both of my feet. You know, for those times when I'm extra chatty."
He laughs again, deeper, throatier. "No, it's okay." His fingers run through his untidy hair. "I don't really know why. I guess I just haven't found the right girl yet."
"Hmm. I have a hunch that you are a hopeless romantic, Edward Cullen. I'm glad you're not a womanizer. Some girl will be very lucky to have you," I say, tapping the tip of his nose with my index finger.
"Baby, leave Eddie alone. He doesn't need to hear any of your crazy talk," Emmett says loudly from between his knees on the Twister mat.
If I had the chance I'd flip him off for that. I'm pissed, but I'm around friends, so I won't let it show. I sigh and turn my face upward. After a few moments of silent contemplation, I point up to the ceiling, hoping that Edward will see what I see.
"Jughead," I mutter.
I turn my face to him again, smiling a small smile.
"Look up there."
"I don't see anything."
"There's a little pattern there in the texture-y stuff. It looks like Jughead. See?"
"What's Jughead?" he asks.
"Silly Edward!" I playfully hit his shoulder. "Jughead is Archie's best friend. Didn't you ever read Archie comics? If you tilt your head to the right and squint, it looks just like him." I point once again.
"I don't see it." I feel his eyes on me as my sleeve slides up my arm. "What the hell did you do to your arm, Bella?"
I don't want anyone to know, much less see. It's my secret to bear. No one else should know it. I can't just come out and say "Oh, Em and I got into a fight, and he was a little bit too forceful," now can I?
So, I do what I always do. I play it off. I get up slowly from Edward's lap. I must mutter a hmm or oh. I'm not sure, because I'm too busy thinking about how I'm going to play this off. I stand up and stretch my arms out, beginning to twirl around like a little girl. "I was doing helicopters, and I accidentally bumped into a shelf." I feel the blush creeping up on my face. They'll believe that. It sounds like something I'd do. They have to believe that.
I land between Alice and Angela on the couch. Alice kisses my bruise, and I thank her. After that, everything pretty much goes back to normal. The game resumes, and all I want is for Edward and everyone else to forget the bruise.
Jasper falls and is out of the game now. The rest of us watch Emmett and Ben battle to the end. Jasper walks out of the kitchen with fresh beers.
Alice turns to me, her face serious. "I know more than you think I know, Bella."
I shake my head, blushing. Of course she would know. She knows me better than I know myself. It's scary sometimes.
She always knows when I'm scared and calls and make sure I'm okay. She always seems to know when I need a friend, a good pint of ice cream, and a movie with hot leading actors. But most of all, she always knows when I have a secret, or when I'm hiding something. I'm her book, and she can read me inside and out. I should have known better.
I nod my head at her, half smiling. I stare at her, silently pleading with her not to say anything, to keep it to herself. That eventually, when the time is right, I'll say something to Emmett about it, let him know how he hurt me. I just need the courage that I don't seem to have yet.
Emmett walks over to me, kissing my lips softly. "I'm gonna go. I'll meet you back at our place, okay?" I nod, kissing him once more.
Eventually Angela and Ben leave to go home, and it's just Alice, Jasper, Edward, and me. I finish nursing my drink and hug Alice and Jasper, thanking them for a fun night. I say goodbye to Edward and imprint the smile he gives me in my memory.
When I return home, the house is dark, and Em's car isn't in the driveway. Only the light in the kitchen is on. Walking past the fridge, I notice a note on the door.
Bells,
I am so sorry, got called into work. Be home around midnight.
Em
I shake my head as I turn off the light. I go upstairs and get into bed. Nothing seems perfect or even right anymore.
My last thoughts are of that smile Edward gave me before I left, the gleam in his eyes. The lips I really want to run my tongue across. The way he runs his fingers through his hair. I wish they were my fingers, tugging and feeling the silkiness as my fingers pass through.
Every time I think of him, my stomach flutters and my face grows warm. I feel like a teenage girl who wants the school teacher. Although she knows it's bad, she just can't help but desire him, dream of him.
And here I am, his student, he my teacher.
I would never get to have him. And yet, he has me.
A/N: We love writing this. :) Let us know if you're liking it so far!
